Espresso Shot 38: SELF SABOTAGE

Self-sabotage is often a misnomer for avoidance of uncomfortable topics, don't you think? Nicoa argues that many people claim to self-sabotage as a rationalization for not addressing important issues, such as financial management or personal health. Of course she speaks from experience and emphasizes that avoidance is common and usually rooted in past experiences yet to be understood. Ready to identify what you are avoiding? Understand why? Take proactive steps towards your goals? Journaling and setting specific actions to overcome these avoidances will be KEY to a LIFE BY DESIGN.

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Transcript

Nicoa Coach: 0:02

Sometimes don't you just need a quick moment of inspiration, or maybe you just need a moment of caffeinated contemplation to reflect on life. That's the idea behind my weekly Coffee with Nicoa espresso shots. I'll be sharing short jolts of inspiration in each clip, in addition to my longer Coffee with Nicoa interview episodes. Make sure to subscribe so you never miss an espresso shot or a full length Coffee with Nicoa interview created just for you. Hey everybody, it's Nicoa. This is your weekly espresso shot. Thanks for listening, by the way. And if you haven't already given us a rating, you can do that on whatever your favorite podcast platform is so don't forget to go in. Give us a rating, a little review. I'm going to be updating my website soon, so I want to be able to grab some of your reviews and put them out there so people can hear all right, let's get to today's topic, self sabotage, baby. Yeah, I thought I think about this a lot, a lot of people, a lot of my friends, talk about, oh yeah, I totally self sabotage. And it's like, it's this, it's like, rationalization for not actually getting stuff done. Okay, so, oh yeah, God, I'm the worst. It's self sabotaging. Is this? You? Does this resonate? Like, are you? Are you one of my friends who says this to me, you know, I was thinking a lot about it, and self sabotage is really just kind of avoidance of what you need to address. It's not really self sabotage. It's more of, you know, habit, something that you're doing that you're claiming is self sabotage. But it's really just habitual ways of being that are because you're avoiding something that you really need to look at. So it could be related to your well being, your health. It could be related to your business. What is it that, you know, the question isn't, do you actually self sabotage? The question is, what are you avoiding? You know, I think about this back in my life, and it's still something that can get in my way, my relationship with money. You know, I tend to kind of carry my knowing as to where I am financially in my head, versus, uh, detailed budgeting as an example. And over the years, that's worked out just fine. But I can imagine I'd have a lot more savings, and I'd be a lot more, hmm, let's say secure financially, if I had been more intentional and had not avoided the topic of money. And this is actually a very common topic for my coaching clients too. A lot of people avoid the topic of money, and then they say, Oh, I self sabotage because, you know, retail therapy or I don't like budgets, I don't like people telling me what to do. You know, that's just one area of our life that you could be claiming is self sabotage, but it's really just avoidance of dealing with something that you're uncomfortable with, and that's so normal. It's so human, human. It's also humid today, but it's so human, and I invite you to really reflect back on why you avoid certain areas of your life. It's probably because of something in your past where it was super uncomfortable, or maybe your parents didn't talk about money, maybe your parents didn't talk about healthy eating, maybe nobody exercised in your world. Maybe nobody really knew about going to college or getting education in order to feel more confident in the work that they were doing out in the world. It depends on your past experience that typically dictates what you avoid today. So if you're willing to step back and ask yourself, Am I avoiding something and really sit still long enough to listen for the answer? Hmm, there's your fodder for avoiding any type of further procrastination. So journaling helps, as you know, my favorite path to actually sell self discovery and really coming up with some practices so that you can set goals to move forward towards getting what you want. So what do you want? Are you self sabotaging, or are you really just avoiding the topic? And can you sit down for just one moment and you already know the topic that's coming to your mind right now as you listen to this and just jot down, what is it about? Fill in the blank, money, my my eating habits, my career, my relationship, my health that I am avoiding. Write that down. Ask yourself, why? But don't spend too much time there and then move into the space of what am I willing to do about that? What is one thing I could do today to move me closer towards the goal that I crave life by design. Thanks for listening. You guys may. Make sure to subscribe so you never miss an espresso shot or a full length Coffee with Nicoa interview created just for you. You.