S1 Ep11: Weston Clemmons

In this episode, Nicoa interviews one of THE MOST influential people in her life! Listen in as she gains better insight and shares her own personal self reflection with someone close to home. His self described untraditional Life By Design journey begins on the banks of Whiskey Creek, takes him to the seas of the Caribbean and ultimately back to the Port City in this dialogue of reflection and responsibility. They both share their experiences, advice and found wisdom about their intertwined lives we hope you will find inspiring!


Weston Clemmons is now retired living in Wadmalaw Island, SC, USA supporting his wonderful wife, their dog Lord Buckley and continuing to live his best life on his own terms. He's ready to sit back and relax after an adventurous 50+ year journey which took him sailing, selling and savoring his life across the globe. He also happens to be Nicoa's big brother! 

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Transcript

Nicoa Coach: 0:01

Grab your coffee and join me Nicoa For a caffeinated conversation about life. I'll be talking to people who have chosen to walk their own paths and just like me, are creating a life by design. I hope it will give you the inspiration you need to do exactly the same. Good morning. Hey, Weston. Good morning, I'm gonna do an introduction of you. So for those people who don't know who you are, when they saw the title of this episode, they can figure out who you are. This has to be probably the most personally significant life by design interview I will have done to date I'm sure it's with someone, you who are really important to me, someone who has role modeled a life for me, a life that was different than mine. A life I didn't always understand a life that seemed quite amazing to me. Shocking, sometimes, someone who showed me ways to exist and experience the world that didn't always fit the mold of societal expectations. This person has been and continues to be a significant influence on me and my way of being. I am amazed, surprised, enthralled and intrigued by this amazing man. And overall, I'm filled with deep curiosity about how he sees the world and exist in a world after having watched him live his life by design over the past 54 years. He has been one of my biggest fans and supporters. And he's always there when I need him. So I'm not surprised that he agreed to be my guest today. He is my oldest Big Brother, Weston Clemens. Hello, Weston Clemens.

Weston Clemmons: 1:52

Well, I'm still your biggest fan, that's for sure.

Nicoa Coach: 1:55

Oh, thank you. I love you so much. Thank you for doing this for me.

Weston Clemmons: 1:59

Well, of course, I love you too. And I'm happy to do it. This is the first time I've ever been involved with anything like a podcast before, but I'm looking forward to it.

Nicoa Coach: 2:09

Well, you're doing great. So far. So Excellent. Well, let's, let's talk a little bit about our lives together. I want to highlight yours the most during this conversation. But I want to start by reflecting back on kind of the beginning years, you know, the early years, you and I are eight years apart in age, which is really two very different generations.

Weston Clemmons: 2:36

I agree with that. And your life

Nicoa Coach: 2:38

experience with our parents with our other brother has been very different than my life experience with our parents and our other brother. And I find that fascinating. So when we think back to when I was really young, and you were let's say let's go ahead and talk about right about the time, you were 1516 years old, I remember you being this big brother that ultimately decided to go off and do some different things.

Weston Clemmons: 3:10

Well, in the middle of the ninth grade, I kind of ran into a brick wall and wasn't enjoying myself in the public school system. So I opted to leave the family and home and go on an adventure of my own, which ended up taking me a lot of places I went sailing.

Nicoa Coach: 3:34

You sure did you and you had grown up down the creek here, you know, working at the boatyard. And you had already found some unique ways to have different experiences. One of the things I thought we could highlight though, is that it wasn't like there was just this one moment where you're like, Okay, see y'all I'm out of here. You struggled with the public school system, trying to put you in a box for quite a while. And I think later in life, you realize that you were dyslexic. And maybe you could talk a little bit about that experience. The school

Weston Clemmons: 4:06

systems weren't set up to recognize people with learning disabilities, the way they are now. I mean, a lot of people have trouble in school. My years in public education were a breeze until I got to about the ninth grade when you had to when you couldn't just get by on listening and remembering and reading. I read a lot. But when you had to start writing papers, it turns out I had this real struggle with getting things from my mind onto paper. And it was debilitating. It wasn't just you know, oh, you know, some people are good at it. Some people aren't. It was almost physical and not being able to put thoughts to paper and you had requirements to make grades. And also, attendance requirements started coming up that because I used to skip a lot of school, and go hang out at the boat yard and work on boats and go sailing into stuff. And I eventually just got so frustrated with my own inability to produce and to keep up that I took the opportunities that were presented to me to leave, and to go places. And I, you know, played to my strengths I paid by was a good communicator, I was a good sailor, I was good, I had a lot of knowledge about boats and sailing and navigation. And I played to that strength and was able to turn that into, it really wasn't a career, it was more of a lifestyle than a career. But it took me a lot of places. And, you know, our parents were having their struggles at that time and ended up divorcing but um, you know, before I left our home, was the dynamic was a lot of tension and argument between a teenager and his parents. And then after I left it kind of, I guess, my parents, our parents turned to their attentions toward each other, and then ended up getting a divorce. But they, you know, there's always more to the story than you know, it wasn't just some glorified, conscious decision to leave. There were lots of circumstances that made leaving the better alternative for me. Well, I

Nicoa Coach: 6:37

know exactly what you're talking about, as I was observing a lot of that. And I think that, you know, there's two things that your parents tried to do that our parents tried to do. One was they tried to force you into that box of the school system and do all the right things. And dad even used to tell a story. He said, Yeah, I would, I'd realized they get the phone call from school and go home, and Weston was still home, I'd put him in the car and take him to the school and drop him off and tell him to go to class and has have driving away from the school, I'd see him in my rearview mirror walking off campus. So you said, you know, your dad was trying to force you into a box and make it work. And then at the same time, your mom and dad went to the school system, and said, Hey, this isn't working for our son, and it's not working for us, and they helped get you permission to leave the school system. Is that right?

Weston Clemmons: 7:27

Well, that was at a later date. I was 16 by then, and had the opportunity to go to a technical school, which is like a community college. And my age was too young to be released, you had to be released from the public schools. And so they gave me special dispensation, or whatever it might be called to go to the technical school, and I only lasted about a quarter. It was the same problem. I did not want to be in a structured environment. I was not able to do the English classes. And you know, but I did also realize that what people were talking about in the program that I was in, which was a Marine technology program, they were like, Yeah, well, when I get out of here, I'm going to work on boats. And I was like, Well, I've already been doing that. So I went to one quarter. I did fairly well, but not well enough to keep my interest and then I just took off again and went do deliveries. I would have been 15 actually then. Okay. Yeah. Because I turned 16 in the Bahamas after getting a first mate position on a boat out of Miami. So, yeah, I ended up spending a bunch of time in the islands of Bahamas, St. Thomas Tortola turned 16 in the Bahamas and kept in the islands most of those years. And then I turned 19 in Panama. And I stayed in that business working on boats until I was about 24.

Nicoa Coach: 9:15

Like to be you during those years, to have left home and made that, you know, that survival decision, if you will, this was thrive, what it feels like to be you.

Weston Clemmons: 9:27

It was there were a lot of times that you know, it was hard, I mean, making money, stay in fed fun and a place to sleep. A little, you know, street living, but I never, you know, back in those days, 60s and 70s were more of the influence on the community on the society. So people hitchhiking and traveling and living out of a backpack and it wasn't it was more common than it is today. You know, I hitchhiked all over the United states. And I know today I would never let my kids talk anywhere. But it was just different back then a lot of people were looking at alternative lifestyles and Masonboro boatyard was a great example of that. A lot of professionals had kind of dropped out and were raising their families on sailboats. And so I got I had an opportunity from like 1969 through the mid 70s, to be exposed to a lot of very interesting people. And they were just right down the creek, you know, they were our backyard.

Nicoa Coach: 10:39

Well, we had exposure to you know, one of my favorite things about that big painting I have in the living room that shows the Masonboro boat yard sign that says transients, welcome.

Weston Clemmons: 10:50

transients. Welcome. Yeah,

Nicoa Coach: 10:52

I know, that means temporary visitors. But at one point, I heard that there were at least 40 people living on boats and boat houses.

Weston Clemmons: 11:01

And I knew him very well. And there were a lot of parties and activities and, you know, kind of a wilder lifestyle than the traditional lifestyle. And I still know and keep in touch with a lot of people that were there. In those days. We were also

Nicoa Coach: 11:18

raised in a very conservative church community at St. James Episcopal downtown. So we had exposure, and I went to kindergarten there. I mean, these, this was a very buttoned up community compared to the Masonboro boatyard community. And I've always felt that that exposure to both has enabled us to play this game societal game of life a little bit easier, because we did get exposed to bet. Does that make sense? Well, I

Weston Clemmons: 11:50

appreciate that. I don't use the church as much of an example. As you know, don't forget that voting and yachting also has a lot of wealthy and sophisticated and successful people involved in it that are a living aboard and raising their families in an alternative lifestyle. yachting is a is an interesting, I mean, look at my whole career I Captain boats for some of the wealthiest and most successful people that you can imagine.

Nicoa Coach: 12:23

Tell me about that. Tell me what it felt like to have been exposed to such extremes. I mean, you know what, just then I remember you telling us about a trip to Haiti. Would that be a story to share?

Weston Clemmons: 12:34

Well, absolutely. I was working the Miami Boat Show. I was 18. And wheeling, McCormick and I had been doing deliveries together. He was kind of a, I would even say almost a second father to me. He took me under his wing and taught me how to navigate and taught me a lot of things about how to properly run a yacht. Well, there was a Korean Bill sailboat called oceanic 44. And it was kind of a swan copy. It was built in Korea. So it had its issues. But the people who were selling the boat sold the demo boat from the show to a very wealthy, Peruvian Nikka Nora Gonzalez, he's he owns basically all the television and radio stations in Peru. I mean, he's, if you want to become prime minister of Peru, one of your first stops is to check with Nika. But Nikko bought a boat and he was kind of a wild man. And I mean, he had done like, he had race cars across Africa. And he had, he'd been involved in, you know, the Olympics. And he'd been involved in all kinds of interesting things in his life. So he hired us to take the boat from Miami, down to his home, Lima, Peru. And he wanted to join us for most of the trips so he could get some experience and everything. And we went to the Bahamas, and then to Haiti, and then through the Panama Canal. And we went down the coast of Ecuador. And I don't know this doesn't make national news too much. But there's always these little border skirmishes between Ecuador and Peru. And we get kind of caught up in one. We went into Pieta, I think which is the very first little port in Peru. But because we kind of came in unannounced and sailed right up into the heart of the harbor. We were like right next to the Peruvian battleship. And they were kind of in a high, high alert status because they were having a thing with Ecuador. So all of a sudden, I'm sailing in there and I get these, you know, people pointing guns down on us. And I'm like, boy, no snow Chase. But Nico came up on deck and straightened everything out and He knew everybody, of course. And those those were the kind of trips that I got myself into.

Nicoa Coach: 15:07

You told us also about that trip where you were having dinner once and you were having maybe, I don't know, my memory of this story was maybe a little existential crisis about the haves and the have nots. And you call Dad and do you remember this story? Yeah, I

Weston Clemmons: 15:23

was in Lima. The as a tip for the delivery the owner, Nico, he gave us a, you know, like a bunch of blank plane tickets and opportunity to stay in Peru for a month after we delivered the boat. And that was his, his way of of tipping us you know, for such a good trip and all. So I was hanging out a Miraflores. Right kind of one of the suburbs of Lima and sitting at a pizza place, and we'd ordered a big pizza and B and Willie are sitting there eating it and there's about three or four pieces left. And nobody's eaten it, it's done. We're done eat and and these poor kids are on the street right outside of like a wrought iron, little divider fence and, you know, rubbing his belly and asking for the pizza. So I split my hand under the pizza and hand it to him. And as he turns to leave and eat the pizza that I just gave him, which I thought nothing of two other kids come over and jump in and like beat him up and take the pizza. And it just really floored me it was just and then the restaurant owner comes out and starts screaming at me for what for encouraging whatever. And it just hits home. I mean, a lot of places I've traveled I was in Haiti, I guess it was during baby dock. And, you know, I went to some casino Washington hotel there and it was really opulent. And we had a big, big dinner with high I don't know what you call it high French cuisine where there are so many waiters and waitresses like everybody has a water waiter behind them. I mean, it's it's like a three staff to every one guest kind of thing. And everybody's dressed to the nines and, and a lot of silver and stuff. And then you walk out the front door. And the kids are begging on the street and they've got, you know, horrible diseases and lungs. And so yeah, there's a lot of that, when you especially in the yachting world, you'll end up oh, we changed the oil, and somewhere in one of the ports in Peru, and we put the waste oil, you know, and sealed it up in plastic containers to make sure you don't spill any and take it off the boat and put it in the trash or wherever it's supposed to go that long this long before anything called recycling, right. And, and then, you know, the kids wanted the plastic jugs, so they opened the tops and pour the oil in the water in the ocean and, and run off with the plastic jugs. It's just a whole different world that I got exposed to Sure. So from from 14th or 15th. Until 2425 I traveled a lot, I spent a lot of time in St. Thomas, I spent a lot of time down in the Grenadines and all the chain in between and expose me to a wonderful world of you know, yachting and, and boat people and cultural differences that I began to appreciate it makes it makes it hard to come back to the culture of North and South Carolina and the current political world and have truth have to, you know, I'm always the one to say, a fat passport will you know, expand your your it'll make you more empathetic and more giving to the rest of the world.

Nicoa Coach: 19:00

That's true. And let me interrupt real quick I was just going to relate for a second I can remember being in India and being in a corporate experience in a car with a driver and looking up from my Blackberry to a man holding a nine month old baby and not only did he have his hand out begging So did that little baby there, you know, right in my face and and you know, I'm curious Western How How did you get exposed to such a variety of lifestyles and then not get caught up in wanting to create that more and more better, better experience for yourself. Like, why why didn't you ever go down that big yachting world pursued like, I want to be the guy with a yacht, I want to be the owner of the yacht I want to go and, you know, our society says more better, better. I mean, maybe you did a

Weston Clemmons: 19:56

realization of what it really costs to run and maintain a fine yacht, I was always aware that I could experience people's very nice boats, and much nicer boats than I could ever afford, if I would, you know, run other people's boats. Yeah, I also I think that a lot of my success in that was my personality and ability to, to, you know, function at all levels and entertain people. I met a lot of people along the way. And I entertained a lot of people along the way. Now, I had a lot of different jobs. Yeah, I mean, I was a whitewater river guide, I did a lot of sailing. But then finally, when it came time to raise a family, I came back to the states in the mid 80s. And then that's a whole nother chapter of being in our Father's business. And yeah, that kind of thing. So it's almost like two different lives. It is two

Nicoa Coach: 20:55

different labs. And that that gives us a moment here for us to take a quick break. And then when we come back, I want you to talk about making that very traditional decision.

Unknown: 22:10

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Nicoa Coach: 22:25

Okay, we're back. And my big brother moved from being this world traveler and Sailor into working for the family business and having a mortgage and babies What the I was shocked.

Weston Clemmons: 22:39

I came back in the mid 80s. Because I got sick in the islands. Oh, right. I got hepatitis. And the doctor after get I called our family physician, Dr. Shuford back in Wilmington, and read him all the information I had from the hospital in, in St. Thomas. And he said, you know, you probably need to come home. So I did. And I came home and they treated me and I recovered from hepatitis that I had picked up somehow in the islands. And anyway, while I was home, I needed to make some money needed to earn some money. And that said, Well, you can you know, you can help out at shop. So I started doing that. He recently hired a manager for the shop and the guy was not very good. And he was actually drinking and doing some stuff that he shouldn't have been. So I kind of fired. Dad said, Well, why don't you just cover, you know, until I can hire somebody else? So 15 years later?

Nicoa Coach: 23:46

We said, yeah, 50 years, I didn't realize you were there that long. And even before that, you would go do work every once in a while, like with the movie studios, right? Weren't you like,

Weston Clemmons: 23:58

right before I came back into the family business, I worked for maybe a year, year and a half with Dino de la Renta set at the movie studio did a few films, working as a carpenter and special effects person. And yeah, that was an exciting chapter as well, I, I could tell two hours worth of stories just from that little free time.

Nicoa Coach: 24:22

Well, let's let's dissect a little bit about the way you were thinking at this point in your life. So what I was always fascinated by was it you always seem to be quite optimistic. When you were around me, maybe you did that for my benefit. But you always I always felt like you weren't worried. Like you knew that you could figure something out. You can go get another job. I'll tell

Weston Clemmons: 24:46

you what dad said about, you know, there was a there was a press secretary, I think for the Reagan administration, Don Regan and, and Nancy Reagan hated him for some reason. And there was like an internal feud in the White House. And the press asked Don Regan, he said, Well, does Nancy not liking you? Does that does that threaten you? And Don Reagan said, I flew fighter jets in World War Two, very few things threatened me. And that's the way my life is I slept under the overpass on i 95. You know, more than once, and, you know, made my way in the world without anything. And so very few things threatened me. Why do

Nicoa Coach: 25:36

you think that is why so I've thought about your world to a lot and I thought, Man, I see these stories about people who their big brother runs away and he does drugs and he ends up a meth addict and he's in prison and you know, he does lonely. Why? Why didn't you fall down that side of that path? I wonder what that thought was? What kept you going to thrive?

Weston Clemmons: 26:01

Well, I won't deny Ah that in the islands, there was quite a culture that I was thoroughly exposed to without being, you know, putting too fine a point on it. Sure, I was around a lot of people doing a lot of things. I just always made my way as I mean, I've partake, partake in a lot of things in life. And sure. I think that's what the the key to life is, is to be open to things.

Nicoa Coach: 26:34

Well, it never seem to overwhelm you, or you never succumb to it is my point.

Weston Clemmons: 26:40

Well, there's been a lot, you know, I've had a life that's had its share of anxiety and doubt, and all those things. But you're right. I think that if you if you're trying to find a quiet place to gather your thoughts that you can pretty much handle whatever comes your way. The other thing is, I always, I always thought that I was, at least intelligence wise, I was prepared to handle anything that came my way. I never felt, I never felt like I didn't understand the situation. Yes, that makes sense. Yeah. I always at least, felt like I had a good understanding of where I was, what I was doing, and what was involved. I wasn't intimidated by other people. I figured there's 8 billion people on this planet, and I'm one of them. I'm no, you know, no less than any of the rest of them.

Nicoa Coach: 27:38

Well, that's the key. And most people hang their hat on trying to make sure they're no better than the other people. Which is, which is great humility. But once you understand you're no less than other people that you are enough, just by existing, then that really is empowering. And you no longer worry about what other people think of you.

Weston Clemmons: 28:01

Well, that's, that's, that's true. The older you get, especially you, you let go of other people's opinions about what's right and wrong. I mean, I try to reduce it to its most basic form. And I treat my religious beliefs this way I treat my beliefs about human nature this way. Is that, I don't know. And you don't either. Therefore,

Nicoa Coach: 28:28

how much you think, you know, nobody knows.

Weston Clemmons: 28:31

That's, that's my point. And people will get caught up in all kinds. I was at a wedding yesterday. And I know that the people involved. I mean, what was wonderful is beautiful ceremony, everything. But the actual service, kind of drifted off the traditional vows and kind of went into more of a sermon s kind of thing. And I just remember sitting in the back ground, you know, I never, I never want to be impolite or never. But it just, it just kind of caught me as this guy is using this opportunity, just as his little podium so that he can pretend that he knows something that that he doesn't really know.

Nicoa Coach: 29:12

Well, you know, that's funny. I was at a funeral yesterday. And the same thing happened. Yeah. And he was he incorporated so much. That was his sermon opinion. And then none of the family members spoke about the person who passed. Everybody got up, we all left. And I thought, well, that was interesting.

Weston Clemmons: 29:31

Exactly. I worked for somebody in South Carolina one time and my boss's father passed away. And, and the whole family business situation, all the salespeople were invited to the funeral. And it was, you know, it wasn't the most comfortable of situations, but out of respect, and it was my job. I went to the funeral and it was a barnburner it was, you know, almost speaking in tongues kind of thing. It was over the top and I can remember looking at my fellow salespeople thinking, wow, are we all doing here, you know,

Nicoa Coach: 30:07

and then there's our dad's celebration of life and it was pretty much what barbecue and

Weston Clemmons: 30:15

respecting, you know, people coming and going celebrating birth and death and, and everybody pondering questions of life, those are all wonderful things. It's only when they you know, spill over into secular government and, and spill over into people pretending they know something that they don't, and try to push it on you. I don't want to make this podcast or rant about it's okay,

Nicoa Coach: 30:43

I'm gonna interrupt you, so you don't. But I think that that's kind of where we struggle in life is that we have these identities. And the human being wants to have an identity. The human being wants to have a box that they know how to play in, and society gives you one and it says here, and here's a religious box and here's to political box and here and go for it, that's gonna make you feel a lot more comfortable and confident if you just stick to these things, except the human also wants to continue to expand, and you continue to expand and didn't let the boxes restrict you. That's how I viewed your life so far. And yet you played inside that box by working for dad at the hydraulics business, and getting your mortgage and having the babies you know, get married all those things. Did you have fun? Or did you regret it?

Weston Clemmons: 31:34

Did you know I didn't never. I don't have regrets. Absolutely not. But I definitely, you know, everybody goes through struggles in life, raising three kids and paying mortgages and all that that's hard work. Everybody knows that. That's, that's tough work. And we had, our business was never, I mean, it paid or paid for a lot of things. You went to college, and Joey went to college, and I worked at the business and dad paid his mortgages, and I paid my mortgages, and we did fine. But we didn't, none of us got rich, when the hurricane hit, and the business flooded in 2000, or 99. And we sold in 2000. I mean, we just barely got out of there, covering the debt. You know, we didn't, we didn't walk, I walked away with a little bit of cash, but not nothing to speak of.

Nicoa Coach: 32:27

enjoyed yourself working with Dan, that was I'll tell

Weston Clemmons: 32:30

you some of the highlights, there was a lot of things I did not enjoy it, mostly the customer base and the employees. I was not, I was not a fan of either rural rural North Carolina and rural South Carolina, that kind of, you know, there's a lot of graft and corruption and people buy in business and and in order to afford. I mean, it was hard to get good help. I'll put it that way. Sure. You know, had lunch with Dad three or four days a week for 15 years. And I got, I got all the insight of all his wisdom. And I enjoyed that we had wonderful conversations and wonderful arguments. And you know, I look back on that 15 years, and I say, Look, everything I was able to achieve, you know, investment wise, you know, like those lots on baldhead. And, you know, all of that was paid for by Clements Corporation. Yeah. And, you know, the insurance, the health insurance and all the struggles, you know, along the way with that? Well, you

Nicoa Coach: 33:41

share why that's important because you are a unique father of three children, two of which have cystic fibrosis talk a little bit about the impact of that.

Weston Clemmons: 33:51

Well, and I had never heard of cystic fibrosis in 1990. And I learned quickly that it presented its own set of problems. And thank goodness that the UNC Chapel Hill was within a couple hours of our house. And we were able to take part in some of the cutting edge new technologies and new medical treatments for cystic fibrosis. And I always looked at it that we were also lucky that I had a job with percent flexibility. I could leave work anytime I wanted to go anywhere I wanted. And of course, my father owned the business. So his grandchild's help became a priority. I could also pick the health insurance plan that best suited us all right, employees, not anybody. You know, the American healthcare system is just a disaster. It's, it's, it's set up to people facing these kinds of problems, it's set up to bankrupt them. And I was able, because of my position to do things like as soon as they started, you know, trying to get medical debt from different places, I was able to sell the house again, you know, move on financially. So that anyway, I don't want to go into too much detail. But the issue is there are a lot of struggles in people's lives. And I look at most everything more as Alright, well how do I use my mind to outwit whatever the system or the problem? I mean, I love nothing more than going to Harris Teeter and finding, you know, an item that's on sale, buy one, get one free, and then it will have a reduced coupon on it. And I do the math in my head and I'm like, if I buy these I make 10 cents. Is the system being beaten or you know, so, I know it's crazy, but my mind just runs like that all the time. You know doing that After my head and brain, I must be a little artistic or something with all maybe. I guess?

Nicoa Coach: 36:12

Well, I think that you're right. If you look back on your life things ultimately did play out and supported you where you were at that time what you needed, it seemed to always come. And and as you said, you always put your mind to work well, Dad used to say when he had anxiety, and he'd wake up the next day think, Well, I haven't applied the Pol factor yet. And I think you're talking about that you're talking about the Western factor and the Nicoa factor. And that kind of keeps me going in my life by design. And, and I find it intriguing, because ultimately, I talk about this a lot that the most annoying thing about life is that you're the common denominator.

Weston Clemmons: 36:50

Well, you know, my dad had a lot of great sayings and great attitudes. And we struggled in business, we were so undercapitalized for so long. And, you know, we it was just pull yourself up by your bootstraps kind of thing. And I'd get really, really upset and worried and not have the money for payroll and Bobine. And I'd be like, you know, what are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? And he'd say, Well, look out here in the front yard. Is there a sign? You know, it has the has the sheriff put a sign up that said, these premises will be sold at auction. Now, he said, well, then we still got another day to play. That's,

Nicoa Coach: 37:29

that's great advice.

Weston Clemmons: 37:31

You know, you got to put it in perspective. You gotta, you gotta get up and give it your best. And that kind of thing. I, I would, you know, he asked me in the end, when we sold the business, he said, Well, you know, we won't sell if you're good, if you want to take it over, if you want to run with it and buy it. Yeah, I was like, Man, I'm tired. I don't want to do this anymore. This looked like and I never intended to do it in the first place. I just kind of stumbled in, you know, I needed to make a little money. And 15 years later, he's asking me where you want to own this business? And I was like, No, I think I'll go back to my sailing. And that's what I did. I went back to being a yacht broker, and a sailboat captain. And even though I reemphasize, that's not a career, it's a lifestyle, but it was the lifestyle I wanted. And that's how I ended my career. And that's, and I still go sailing. I don't I don't do paid stuff anymore. But I still go sailing as often as I can.

Nicoa Coach: 38:35

Well, I think you define a life by design the same way I do, I'll have people come to me all the time and say, Oh, I gotta quit my job. And I gotta get this kind of job. And I'm like, Why? Why do you want that job? Why don't you want this job? What is it that this job or that job? Or is not or will be enabling for you and your life? And that's really the whole point. People think, again, the identity of the job is what they need to worry about. But I want them to back up and say, Do you want to wake up early every day? Do you want to sleep in? Do you want to work out? Do you want to eat good food? Do you want to go out to dinner? Do you want to work from home? Do you want to work in an office? What is this lifestyle? So tell us what your life by design looks like? Now, how did you create a lifestyle that you don't need a vacation from?

Weston Clemmons: 39:21

Well, I have a very wonderful life. And the majority of the reason for that is I have a amazing wife and a life with her for the last 12 years. So it's just been amazing. And our situation is that she'll be retiring in a year or two and we're going to travel more and do the things that we want to do. But I think my after sailing for professionally for the latter part of my career, now, I guess the right word in today's world as a more of a house husband do the cooking and the cleaning and, and the shopping and I love it. You know, I heard somebody say a long time ago, if I knew having grandchildren, was this fun, I would have had them first. If I didn't know, if I didn't know it'd be in a house husband was this much fun, I would have done that first. Exactly. I think I'm just relaxed and open to the life that I have. And it it's not like I really set out with any kind of goal that honestly, I've just chosen things that make me happy. And I couldn't be happier now my life is exactly the way I want it. So that's that's why, you know, I'm willing to talk to you about it, because I don't have anything that I would change about it.

Nicoa Coach: 40:49

And I think that the reason you have what makes you happy is because being happy is what you prioritized, right?

Weston Clemmons: 40:56

That's really good. And and also the willingness to to not get caught up in things that that were superficial things that didn't matter, you know, cars. And you know, that asked me when I was 16 or so and I'd come back to the States he's like, Well, you know, don't you want to buy a car? Oh, not really. I'm only here for a short time. And well, how do you how do you not want to farm? Like, are you not loaning me the car? Is that what?

Nicoa Coach: 41:26

Well, you know, you bring up a good point, Weston, because I told you this story the other day when I was asking you to be my guest. Once we were sitting at we were at Bradley Creek Marina, and we had just gotten off the sailboat ride, come to visit you, you know, on. Marks, Mark Randall is beautiful, right along the line, and you were in the car, and I was standing outside. I don't know why this left such a big impression on me. But you were in the driver's seat of the car. And I'm standing there and I said Western. Did you know how much money I made last year? I was just so I'd made more money than I've ever made. And I'm telling you this story. And I never forget the look on your face. And you got real still in real calm. And you look, it makes me want to tear up. You looked at me with such care. And you said, well, Mickey, if that's important to you, then that makes me really happy for you. And it was a layered response. Right? I mean, what I heard was, I love you. And I'm happy for you when you're happy. But I don't really give a shit how much money you made last year. And yet, I was using that, Hey, Big Brother, look what I did as an opportunity uses

Weston Clemmons: 42:52

that as a yardstick and, you know, my yardstick instead of being measured in inches, which are dollars, it's my yardstick is measured in experiences. Yes. And, you know, I hiked from, you know, Cusco to Machu Picchu. And I didn't have enough money to take the train. You know, I'm talking about. I mean, I can remember, just when you leave Peru, you're supposed to have 10 US dollars to pay your exit tax. Right. And nobody had told me that. And I had to Panhandle my exit tax to get out of Peru. You know, I'm not saying that that's the way anybody should travel. But that's an experience that you can't buy.

Nicoa Coach: 43:42

You can't unknow it either. I mean, that must have been. But isn't it interesting that, you know, we're raised in the same world, but different experiences, and I got really caught up in playing it by the book, you know, and I wonder if my observation of you living outside of the book, right of the American Dream traditions? Maybe that made me nervous or something. I don't why do you think I got so caught up? It took me till I was 40. To start going, what the hell is the lifestyle,

Weston Clemmons: 44:13

I can tell you a pivotal time, you know, your parents were splitting up. And your older brother Joey was in high school and you were about to start high school. And you were scared and nervous and everything and he told you that you can go through high school two different ways you can be on the outs the odd ball or the or you can buy into it. You can be a cheerleader, and a student government person. And you it's just as easy to pick one over the other. And he suggested that you pick the traditional, you know, little preppy, yep, direction, because he had looked at his older brother and said, well, that hippie, you know, he's sleeping on the streets. So you can we can both blame the sibling that's not here in this conversation. We'll blame Joey because he still says that everything I did when we were children made him nerves.

Nicoa Coach: 45:16

Well, he's still nervous. And he still plays inside the box. And outside the box. He actually took a little bit of both worlds.

Weston Clemmons: 45:25

I give him such credit. You know, when he came out of college, he looked around and decided what he wanted to do. And he invented his own career he did. That's another thing that might be a trade to our family. And that goes back to our father and that's inventing your elite maybe not your life like we're like I'm talking about but your career anyway, inventing what it is like Joey, he says I want to go hiking and camping 20 weeks out of the year. In order to do that. I'm going to teach these highly specialized courses all over the country. And I'm only going to teach, you know, 30 weeks out of the year or whatever it is, I'm only going to teach, you know, the amount of time I want to and the rest of the time. I'm going to go camping and cross country skiing and hiking. And that's exactly what he's done for what 3030 years?

Nicoa Coach: 46:20

Yeah, I guess. I mean,

Weston Clemmons: 46:22

since the, the late 80s, early 90s, I guess or Well, since.

Nicoa Coach: 46:28

Yeah. And, and they, they live their life by design, and they moved and lived in different locations. I mean, you're right, it takes. So to comment on your perspective on my choices, I really did say either you're in and you're playing this game called the American dream, and you're not complaining about it. Right? So you're either in it, play in it, and winning it. Or at least in my case, I was like, I gotta win this game, until you ultimately wake up. And then you say, Well, wait, what really matters most to me. So I'm hoping that people can begin now, I don't care how old you are. I don't care if you're 80. I don't care if you're 18. Listen to this podcast, decide what matters most to you. And by the way, what matters most to you today might be different in five years, and you can change it, you can change.

Weston Clemmons: 47:19

That's another thing about the advice. I think everybody starting college wants to know, well, what's my major? What am I going to do? And I know with emmalin, I was trying to explain to her that you're not going to necessarily know on day one in college, or I guess in your career, for that matter what it is you want to do. But you got to remember that you can always pick something out. You know, I picked a few different things over. But you know, I You mentioned earlier me working in the movie business. Well, that was short lived, because there was an aspect of it, I hate it. And that was that, you know, we'd be on a film for say, six weeks, eight weeks, 1012 weeks, whatever the length of the shooting was. And then you're out of a job. Yeah, and you have to compete with everybody who you've become friends with and you're working with, you suddenly are in competition with them to get the next gig. It was really cutthroat. And now the hours were horrible. But the excitement was great. And you know, the final thing I did in the movie business before I quit, it was on site Carpenter, which meant that you got to hang out for the actual filming. While they were doing things in case something broke or needed to be fixed, or whatever, but most of the time, nothing happened. You eat it craft service and watch the making of the film. That was that was a fun thing to do. And again, that exposed me to, to a different group of people. There was a lot of money in the film business. Sure, it wasn't for me, you know,

Nicoa Coach: 48:59

it was an experience. And I think what I'm hearing you say is that, you know, when you can learn how to savor the experiences, and see your decision, your choice as an experience and not feel burdened by it. And even when you forgot, during the time you were working with dad, when you'd get too caught up in what was happening in the moment. When we step back and go, Okay, it's just an experience. And I get to make it mean whatever I want. And if if it's not serving me, I can go do something else. And yeah,

Weston Clemmons: 49:30

well, that's a self confidence and an inner peace that you can only develop by putting yourself out there. And you know, look, not all life's experiences are positive. A lot of them are gut wrenching and and horrific, but they build you into the comfortable person that you can sit with meaning sitting with yourself and have tea with and that's. I have tea every afternoon.

Nicoa Coach: 49:58

Oh, well, you Oh, I thought you had coffee. Nevermind. No.

Weston Clemmons: 50:03

Coffee drinker.

Nicoa Coach: 50:05

Well, you just said something. I think that there is only the greatest fear people have in life isn't death. It isn't public speaking. It's sitting alone with their own thoughts.

Weston Clemmons: 50:18

The hardest thing to do? I think it

Nicoa Coach: 50:20

is it sounds like you've mastered it. And I and I love watching your life by design with Jane and I love that you asked her out in the middle of a tell that story. I want you to tell the story. Because you create a life you ask.

Weston Clemmons: 50:37

All right, no, no, this is my this is my story of how life can change. And what happened was I'd been on delivery and I was living kind of more or less with a kind of like frat brothers living in this rented house with another captain and a private plane pilot, the three of us and I was a little older than the two of them. And honestly the house was as you might imagine. No frat house, kind of nobody cleaning it up and, and I had been away on delivery for a few weeks. And I'd sailed back into Charleston and went home and was cleaning the house up because these two roommates might have left such a mess. And I spent the day cleaning the house and around, I don't know, eight or nine o'clock I get a phone call from one of my roommates. And he says, Hey, meet us up at the pizza parlor have a beer. And I'm like, No, I'm sweaty and nasty. I'm not going out. They said, You've been gone for two weeks, come up here have a beer. So I went up there and had a beer. And he and I were sitting outside and the place was crowded. And after we'd been chatting for a while, a young couple comes by and ask if they can join us. Sit down beside us. We're like absolutely sit right here. And the he asked what we did. And we said, well, we're boat delivery captains and the guy is young. And he starts going on about all he knows about boats wasn't I'm not trying to put him down. But it was, you know, kind of tongue in cheek. I'm looking over at Hank, like, you know, what is this guy? He's got a lot of opinions. I guess he reminded me of myself 20 years earlier. So at a pause in the conversation, I stand up and I say, Excuse me, I'm going to the bar and get Hank and I beer. Can I get you and your girlfriend a beer? And the young lady says, Oh, this is just our second date. And I said, Oh, okay, so as I'm going to the bar with the empty glasses, and buying beers, I'm standing there at the bar. And I think this is only our second date. Okay, that's interesting. And I come back to the table and sit down the beers and kind of lean over where only she could hear me. And I said, Listen, instead of a third date with this guy, would you go out on a first date with me? And she kind of indicated Yes, and we, this is a long time ago. So neither one of us were really comfortable with texting. As a matter of fact, she tells me this is the first time she ever texted. But we exchanged phone numbers kind of secretly, and start texting each other kind of under the table. Because the guy is still just yapping on and on with Hank. And I'm sitting there in the moonlight and her eyes are sparkling. And so anyway, we finished the evening, Hank, and I get off and we started to go and we're walking back to our cars. And he said, So what are you up to tomorrow? I said, Well, I got a date. He said, What do you mean, you got a date? You just got home? I said, Hey, I got a date with that girl from the table. And he said, How did you do that? And I said, you know, 15 seconds of courage can change your whole life. And Jane and I pretty much been together ever since.

Nicoa Coach: 54:12

Oh my gosh, that's one of my favorite stories. And you just gave the best advice ever. 15 seconds of courage, right?

Weston Clemmons: 54:19

Right. No, I was never that comfortable. I can't say that I ever really dated per se, you know, because you got to remember you do that in high school or something. I didn't go to high school. I just went out into the world. So I never really had the training to know what a quote unquote date was.

Nicoa Coach: 54:40

Well, in this day and age, I think that people are finally hopefully our society starting to wake up to a life well lived is just as critical, credible and important as an educated, formal educated life. And we starting to see people remove the requirements of degrees in some of the governments across our United States and and we're really looking at at worldliness. And let me various,

Weston Clemmons: 55:07

let me interject something here because I have a kind of a strong opinion about that. I'm not, I'm not enamored with degrees, okay, because I've made my life without any because of my dyslexia and everything I've not really accomplished like a yacht captain's license or or master's degree or a bachelor's degree. And none of those things came easy to me because of my dyslexia and just my general inability to, to work well. However, you asked earlier about regrets if I did have a regret, and I really don't, but if I did, it would be it would be the the exposure and the culture of attending a university. Not the degree, right, the exchange interaction. I mean, I know this is gonna sound funny, but like I I've read a lot about quantum physics and I love, I would love to sit down with people who knew more about that than me. And when I say, I only read the, you know, the surface stuff, it's not like I study it, the dancing wooly masters or some, you know, the, the more of the consumer of quantum Sure, sure. And I like to read about stuff like that, but Adam, but What I miss is that people of the same age interest sitting around, you know, Midnight talking about something, philosophy or, or something that they both read and they had opinions on, you know, I have strong political opinions. But recently, one of my last deliveries was a, a yacht with a, with an attorney from Washington, DC, who had been instrumental in breaking up at and tape, the anti trust cases that broke up at a tea. Now, his politics in mind could not be further apart. But I spent that week with him on the boat. And I was just fascinated with his knowledge of anti trust. And it doesn't sound like a stimulating conversation, but it was for me, of course, he was so intelligent. May, you know, our political differences just kind of go away, because we could talk about something else.

Nicoa Coach: 57:27

Well, you hit it the icing on the cake for an education to me and I've told all the kids this and, and I'm sure that your your exposure to all of us being so biased for our favorite alma mater, NC State University, it's not about the class, it's about the topic and the conversation in the hallway afterwards, it's about figuring out how to sign your you know, back in the day, sign your, your financial aid check. It's, that's the education of a big environment like that. And really going deep into these topics of expertise, you have subject matter experts. That's the fun part. But you've managed to get that in your lifetime Western with all the people you've interacted with, and even more so than most of these kids in these college classes. So I'm a little jealous,

Weston Clemmons: 58:13

that 15 years at Clemens Corporation, is obviously because my father owned the company. And there's he used to tell an old joke, you know, when you go to, to college, or whatever, they give you an aptitude test, to kind of determined what your career path should be, or whatever. And his joke was that when Weston took that test, the results came back and they said you should seek employment where your family has a great deal of influence.

Nicoa Coach: 58:43

Nepotism was alive and well. Claimants Corporation. Well, Weston, I am so grateful that you shared just a little teeny tiny bit of your cool life and, and we had the opportunity to reflect on our our personal experiences, if you are going to kind of summarize advice for a life by design, or you've already shared a lot. But if there's anything else you would share with our listeners, what advice would you give them?

Weston Clemmons: 59:09

Taste everything, try everything. I have people laugh at me because I'll relate a story from a job I've had the fact that it was a week long. For you know, I just did it for two months or whatever I mean, try a lot of different things. And you'll end up stumbling across through no fault of your own, the fit for you. That to me seems to be the basic plan and keep good people around. You're trying to meet it. Oh, one last thing that I was just talking about last night, I showed a friend of mine that I was talking to last night, the Facebook page on the website of another friend of mine. And they're like, well, when did you last see them? I like I don't know, 25 years ago. But the point is I keep up with keep up when I make a friend. It's like stalking in reverse instead of stalking. Once I've made a friend, I keep up with you. After that I know where you're at when your birthday is and what you're up to. That's just good life advice. Because if you've friends are hard to find, and if you find them, hang on to them and keep them in your loop.

Nicoa Coach: 1:00:24

Absolutely. It makes me think of that quote, though about when you're talking about savor and taste everything that quote from that movie meme, where she says, Life is a banquet and most sons of bitches are starving. That's

Weston Clemmons: 1:00:38

right. That's right. You got to open up to that and it's hard. The wall that you have to break through is your insecurity. That's right. And once you've broken through that, and and you break through your insecurity by having bad things happen to you and survive

Nicoa Coach: 1:00:55

and realize you're still here you made another day. Well, Winston, I know that advice about fostering friendships. That's a that's a key one. And I will take your advice and continue to do that with my friends. I don't always have the closest ones near me. And so it reminds me to reach out. I encourage everybody to do the same. And I'll tell you, if you weren't my brother, I know we can't pick our family. But if you weren't my brother, I certainly would pick you as my friend. And I love you.

Weston Clemmons: 1:01:24

I love you very much. And thanks for having me on your podcast. I wish you all the success with whatever you try.

Nicoa Coach: 1:01:30

All right. I love you too. Thank you, Weston. Bye bye.

Unknown: 1:01:37

Thanks for joining us for a caffeinated conversation. Subscribe to Coffee with Nicoa for more stories from people living a life by design. You can also find inspiration on Instagram. Just follow Coffee with Nicoa and check out our website Coffee with nicoa.com and that's Nicoa N I CoA. We look forward to talking with you soon. And enjoy your coffee between now and then