COFFEE WITH NICOA: Creating A LIFE BY DESIGN.

Espresso Shot 40: ANTICIPATION

December 04, 2023 NICOA DUNNE CORNELIUS Season 1 Episode 40
COFFEE WITH NICOA: Creating A LIFE BY DESIGN.
Espresso Shot 40: ANTICIPATION
COFFEE WITH NICOA: Creating A LIFE BY DESIGN. +
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Show Notes Transcript

Nicoa shares her SUPER POWER of ANTICIPATION in her LIFE BY DESIGN! Listen in, or maybe sing along for a second, to this espresso shot! Do you sit in the same boat with "Negative Ned and Negative Nancy" or tend to spend your time ruminating on your worries? OR do you ANTICIPATE positive outcomes and spend time visualizing your wanted results intentionally?  Learning how to approach and respond to life, work, people, dialogues with a positive, wanted future state approach is a learned skill and known as LEADING BY DESIGN! Something to ponder... #JOURNALING PROMPT

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Nicoa Coach:

sometimes don't you just need a quick moment of inspiration. Or maybe you just need a moment of caffeinated contemplation to reflect on life. That's the idea behind my weekly coffee with Nicola espresso shots. I'll be sharing short jolts of inspiration in each clip. In addition to my longer Coffee with Nicoa interview episodes, make sure to subscribe so you never miss an espresso shot, or a full length Coffee with Nicoa interview created just for you. Good morning. This is your weekly espresso shot. This is Nicoa. And I have almost started this episode by singing anticipation. Yeah, no, don't worry, I already quit my day job once and I decided to become a coach, not a singer, aren't you glad? Let's talk about anticipation. You know, I was on a podcast this past week as a guest. And actually, there were a couple of podcasts. I can't remember which one I said this on. But what I said was, one of the things that I love most about myself is the fact that I anticipate my future, I anticipate what I want, not what I'm worried about. But what I want, and the ability to anticipate what I want and what I hope for. And what I'd like, actually might be one of my superpowers. And I'll tell you why. Because when we can foresee and get out ahead of an experience that we're about to have, or that we'd like to unfold. And we can do that without a key piece here. And we can do that without attachment is more likely to come true. Okay, all right, let's back this up. So anticipation. So when you're thinking about a big meeting, or you're thinking about a family gathering, that may or may not be as positive as you might like, if you were to spend time focusing on a view of that future state, being a positive outcome, and seeing in your mind's eye how you would like it to play out, then you're more likely to create that. So remember the phrase that I love to use, as a man thinketh. So as he, as a woman think it's so as she, it's in every religious text, it was a book written by James Allen about 120 years ago, As a man thinketh. So is he. So if we are the creators have our own reality, then it's really, really important that we get out ahead of it. And honestly, as I'm talking about this, I've talked about this so much, and all of my work, all my workshops, all of the training that I do all the coaching work that I do, I probably have done an espresso shot about this concept, I don't recall. But it's so important to me. And it's so powerful for me in my life, that I just want to run to the top of the mountain and make sure everybody else is practicing this. Because remember, worrying is just like wishing. So if I was going to stop worrying, and I was going to start anticipating, then maybe I can use that anticipation in the visualizations that I'm having in my mind's eye as the wish, right as the wand that's creating my reality, by getting out ahead of it. When you pause and close your eyes and think about how you'd like something to play out. You are actually bringing it to you. Now you have to let it go after you've had the thought and the vision, or only quickly go to that vision every once in a while between now in the actual event, and then allowing it to unfold as it's supposed to unfold that day. What you want to avoid is attracting what you don't want. Because you've heard the person, you've you've seen it happen, you've done it yourself. Well, I knew this wasn't gonna go well. I knew so and so was going to be you know what, in the middle of the dinner meeting or dinner, or the meeting yesterday, I could tell that person was going to be pissed off when I told them that story. I just knew that was going to happen. Of course I'm late. Obviously, I wasn't prepared. I never notice all the language. So all of that using your wand, in your words as a wand. All of that is just creating that future state. But what if I began to anticipate in a more positive, optimistic and fulfilling way? Gosh, I'm so excited about that gathering next week with my family and friends. I'm really looking forward to so and so telling her favorite jokes. I can't wait to have that meeting. And I am really excited that everybody's going to be able to contribute to this vision I have for this project. I can't wait to hear someone say this opinion. Now, that's different than saying Oh, I really hope so and so doesn't give their opinion because they're so negative. What will I do if they if they tell me something I don't want to hear Focus on what will be positive focus on what will grow anabolic early versus catabolic. Really? What will grow? what your vision is, focus on that and you're likely to attract that. But Nicoa What if I might need to do some scenario planning? Well, that's fine. Do the scenario planning. scenario planning says if negative net over there actually shoots down my idea, how might I respond? And how can I do so in a non defensive way, or a non victimhood way? Negative Ned says, Yeah, well, we've tried that before, and it didn't work. Yes, Ned, I've heard that. Thank you for reminding us. And we've actually taken that into account. And here are some of the ways we want to offset the lessons learned. You notice some key words there? We validated Ned, we said yes. And it does not mean we agree with negative Ned, it just means we're able to hear and see him for the perspective that he's bringing to the table. And if you can anticipate that negative Ned perspective, then you're and you can come up with a response that keeps you on the positive keeps you on the anabolic growth stage, then you are more likely to get what you want. When you get sucked into the negative net scenarios, and you worry about it and angst over it. Then guess what, that's how you'll experience it in the future in that moment. So let's really turn our focus on what we do want, get out ahead of it, begin to anticipate things going well, one of the ways I do that, for my own work, when I give a big presentation or have a big workshop, I will spend time visualizing how I will know if that event has been successful for the participants. So I really sit in that space of assuming its its positive impact. And then I see in my mind's eye and hear, in my mind, the positive feedback I'll get when it is complete. I'll visualize people coming up to me and thanking me, or sharing with me their own personal experience of how it went, and how much that that caused them, and prompted them to think differently about their life. Because that's my vision. That's my goal is to help people help themselves. And I also want to get the positive feedback that it was worthwhile that their time was well spent participating in an engagement with me. I spend 90% of my time focused on that, and only about 10% or less anticipating the negative needs of the world. And guess what, 99.9% of the time, I get exactly what I wish for. So let's get out ahead of it. Let's anticipate the best and we'll likely get it. Get out your pens and your journals. And take this espresso shot as something to ponder this week. And let me know what happens in your life when you anticipate the very best. Thanks for listening. Make sure to subscribe so you never miss an espresso shot or a full length Coffee with Nicoa interview created just for you.

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