Ya'll remember the movie WHEN HARRY MET SALLY? Yeah, PAUSE and start there... THEN take a listen! Nicoa reminds you NOT to get caught in Compare Despair and find out how YOU, TOO, can foster a way of BEING you crave!
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sometimes don't you just need a quick moment of inspiration? Or maybe you just need a moment of caffeinated contemplation to reflect on life. That's the idea behind my weekly coffee with Nicola espresso shots. I'll be sharing short jolts of inspiration in each clip. In addition to my longer Coffee with Nicoa interview episodes, make sure to subscribe so you never miss an espresso shot, or a full length Coffee with Nicoa interview created just for you. Hey, guys, it's Nicoa espresso shot time for your week. I want what she's having. I'll have what she's having. Does anybody remember where that phrase that quote comes from? I do. It actually comes from a movie back in the day called When Harry Met Sally. And Meg Ryan, who was one of my favorite actresses. Back in the day she, she proceeds in this scene. In When Harry Met Sally, she proceeds to fake an orgasm. Yes, I just said orgasm on my podcast, which if you're not having them, you need to pause and go take care of that. Good. I can see John now rolling his eyes. And I just did that. All right, but I'm serious. Go do that. Okay, now that you're back. The fact that that scene sticks in my head is because after she finishes faking her orgasm, to prove to him that she can and has, the woman that is sitting at a table next to her is being asked by the waiter, what are you going to have for your meal, and she simply looks at him and says, I'll have what she's having. I'll have what she's having? Well, that's how I got into coaching. That's how I got into the type of lifestyle and my life by design, that I am embrace now and savor and enjoy and continue to expand within this because I looked around and I thought I want what she's having. And I want what he's having. And I have a little bit of that and what they're having. And I really began to recognize that hey, well, if they can have it, why can I have it? Now notice that belief system, if they can have it, then I should be able to have it. Now a lot of people think the opposite. They think well if they can have it, or if they have it. I wish I could, how come I can't have it. And I call that compare despair if I haven't already talked about that. But in this case, what I began to recognize was not just stuff, not just jobs, not just things, not just, you know, circumstances. But I really began to recognize after I went out on my own, a way of being that I want, I wanted to know what was she having that allowed her then this case, the example I'm thinking of is a woman I sat across from who had been trained at the new field network, I went and had coffee with her to find out which coaching program I should invest in for myself. And as we sat and had coffee, she sat across from me and she was super calm. And she was super grounded. And no matter how jacked up and hyper I was, she was like, solid, she just was so pulled together and compassionate and listening and in control of her way of being not in a boring and robotic way, but in a very confident, casual, comfortable way of being. And even as I try to describe it to you now, the energy in my body goes from being kind of my upper part of my body, more equitably distributed throughout my body down into my feet, as I describe this beautiful being who was sitting across from me, because if you could see me 15 years ago, having that conversation with her. I was probably all like this. I probably scared her, or you know what she probably thought she definitely needs to go get this training. And the reason this training was so powerful for me is because it helped me become the observer of myself. And it helped me recognize that I didn't need to manage my time. I didn't need to manage my my circumstances or my job or my career. I needed to manage my energy. And I needed to figure out who I was and observed my way of being with a capital B. So that I could explain not only show up Up in the world, the most powerfully and the most profound way to impact others and get what I want. But if I could just be in a way, that was relaxing and comforting to me, that helped me feel grounded, and solid, then this training allowed me to look at my observation of my body. It allowed me to observe my emotional state, what was I making the world mean? What kind of emotions were was I experiencing? And also just my way of literally behaving? Being able to observe that? How did I show up sitting across the table from someone in an in a conversation? How was I showing up with my kids with my partner? This is a concept that's trained at the new field network called the bell model body, emotion and language. And that's the work that I do. And I invite you to look around. Do you want to have what she's having? Go figure it out. And the way to get what they're having is first to assume you can have it and second become the observer view. So that you can recognize if your way of being would attract that is all about a life by design. It's your lifestyle and how you want to feel. Thanks for listening guys. I hope this gives you lots of fodder for your journaling. And please share and send us messages on Instagram, on YouTube, on Tik Tok or wherever you can comment. We would love to hear how it's going and what you think about coffee with Nicoa. We'll talk to you soon. Make sure to subscribe so you never miss an espresso shot or a full length Coffee with Nicoa interview created just for you.Unknown:
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