COFFEE WITH NICOA: Creating A LIFE BY DESIGN.

S1 Ep20: PAGE FEHLING

June 28, 2023 NICOA DUNNE CORNELIUS Season 1 Episode 20
S1 Ep20: PAGE FEHLING
COFFEE WITH NICOA: Creating A LIFE BY DESIGN.
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COFFEE WITH NICOA: Creating A LIFE BY DESIGN.
S1 Ep20: PAGE FEHLING
Jun 28, 2023 Season 1 Episode 20
NICOA DUNNE CORNELIUS

Let me know what you think of this episode: TEXT ME!

What an honor to have the amazing journalist, communications expert, mother, partner and friend PAGE FEHLING enthusiastically and vulnerably share her Life By Design in this episode!  Page has actually ALWAYS LOVED her life and her job! WHAT?! Who does that?! She shares how her natural strengths enabled a very fulfilling life in the broadcast world and how she has, finally, shifted out on her own. Her career has evolved into exactly the life she wanted that would best serve her, and her partner Jake AND their three kids NOW at this stage of their lives. A true LIFE BY DESIGN!

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND Page for your team, you as a professional, your young adult kids, whoever needs help in increasing their communication effectiveness, their executive presence, the power of their way of Being. Check her out here: https://www.pagefehling.com/

Oh, and don't forget to CHECK OUT the podcast she created with her husband!
DATE NIGHT WITH JAKE AND PAGE Each month, Jake and Page Fehling allow you to be the third wheel on a double-date with a prominent Charlotte, NC couple. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll want them to invite you next time. #datenightclt

And if that's not enough awesomeness, join Jake and Page Fehling as they hold your hand—but not your leg, that’s your job, dads—through your pregnancy journey in their book HOLY CRAP WE'RE PREGNANT: Two Parents. Two Sides Of The Story.
Jake and Page each write their own accounts of major pregnancy milestones, then react to the other’s recollections. Holy Crap, Let’s Go To Therapy was a close runner-up for the title.

Buy your copy of YOUR LIFE BY DESIGN: A Coffee With Nicoa Self-Care Coaching Journal
on Amazon today! 

Support the Show.

Follow COFFEE WITH NICOA on Instagram @CoffeeWithNicoa for archived episodes & to see more of Nicoa's Life By Design! And now on TikTok @NicoaCoach


Want to have Coffee With Nicoa as a podcast guest? Or, do you know someone she'd love to have a caffeinated chat with? Or maybe a great ESPRESSO SHOT idea? Message her directly at Nicoa@CoffeeWithNicoa.com

Interested in coaching with Nicoa? Check out her coaching referral page here.
Interested in taking one of Nicoa's e-courses? Check them out here.

***BUY NICOA A COFFEE
**COFFEE WITH NICOA MERCHANDISE SHOP
*SHOP NICOA'S COFFEE WITH NICOA AMAZON SHOP

|| Coffee With Nicoa Copyright 2023 ||

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Show Notes Transcript

Let me know what you think of this episode: TEXT ME!

What an honor to have the amazing journalist, communications expert, mother, partner and friend PAGE FEHLING enthusiastically and vulnerably share her Life By Design in this episode!  Page has actually ALWAYS LOVED her life and her job! WHAT?! Who does that?! She shares how her natural strengths enabled a very fulfilling life in the broadcast world and how she has, finally, shifted out on her own. Her career has evolved into exactly the life she wanted that would best serve her, and her partner Jake AND their three kids NOW at this stage of their lives. A true LIFE BY DESIGN!

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND Page for your team, you as a professional, your young adult kids, whoever needs help in increasing their communication effectiveness, their executive presence, the power of their way of Being. Check her out here: https://www.pagefehling.com/

Oh, and don't forget to CHECK OUT the podcast she created with her husband!
DATE NIGHT WITH JAKE AND PAGE Each month, Jake and Page Fehling allow you to be the third wheel on a double-date with a prominent Charlotte, NC couple. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll want them to invite you next time. #datenightclt

And if that's not enough awesomeness, join Jake and Page Fehling as they hold your hand—but not your leg, that’s your job, dads—through your pregnancy journey in their book HOLY CRAP WE'RE PREGNANT: Two Parents. Two Sides Of The Story.
Jake and Page each write their own accounts of major pregnancy milestones, then react to the other’s recollections. Holy Crap, Let’s Go To Therapy was a close runner-up for the title.

Buy your copy of YOUR LIFE BY DESIGN: A Coffee With Nicoa Self-Care Coaching Journal
on Amazon today! 

Support the Show.

Follow COFFEE WITH NICOA on Instagram @CoffeeWithNicoa for archived episodes & to see more of Nicoa's Life By Design! And now on TikTok @NicoaCoach


Want to have Coffee With Nicoa as a podcast guest? Or, do you know someone she'd love to have a caffeinated chat with? Or maybe a great ESPRESSO SHOT idea? Message her directly at Nicoa@CoffeeWithNicoa.com

Interested in coaching with Nicoa? Check out her coaching referral page here.
Interested in taking one of Nicoa's e-courses? Check them out here.

***BUY NICOA A COFFEE
**COFFEE WITH NICOA MERCHANDISE SHOP
*SHOP NICOA'S COFFEE WITH NICOA AMAZON SHOP

|| Coffee With Nicoa Copyright 2023 ||

Nicoa Coach:

Grab your coffee and join me Nicoa For a caffeinated conversation about life. I'll be talking to people who have chosen to walk their own paths and just like me, are creating a life by design. I hope it will give you the inspiration you need to do exactly the same. Ladies and gentlemen, Coffee with Nicoa. I have Paige failing with me today. And before I even let her speak, I have to tell you guys a funny story. Because I met Paige I guess back at you can you can actually help me with this one page? Did we meet it fin professionals back in Raleigh. I don't even remember.

Page Fehling:

You have to help me because I've been racking my brain and like, how do Nicole and I know each other? I have no idea. And I even checked with a couple of my Raleigh people. And I was like, Do you seem to how do we know? So I have no idea. You tell me and I'll just go with whatever story you have.

Nicoa Coach:

Okay, good. Because I was like, I'm probably gonna tell this story. And she's like, No, when we sit next to each other, and you said this, and I said that and I'm like, Oh, my God. So both of us have blanked because we're amazing women. And we're so busy. And we have all the excuses in the world to blank out on our connection. But I totally. I was watching you on LinkedIn. And I was like, oh, yeah, I know, Paige, and I was getting ready to start this podcast. And I love your three and 30, which we'll talk about, because I want everybody watching you on LinkedIn and to get these great tips. But I'm driving around, and I had been planning this podcast. And I was like, Who are some amazing people that I could invite to be guests. And I saw your three and 30. And it was so energetic, and I was like, oh, yeah, I need some of what she's having. I need that energy. And then I was like, I know, Paige. And I look in my phone, and I have your phone number. I'm like, oh, yeah, it must be something fashionable, which is a great networking organization. And I was like, I guess you know, we must have really connected back in the day. So old school Makoa raised by a dad was like, well just pick up the phone. I'm driving. I'm just gonna call page. Oh, that's

Page Fehling:

right. You did? And I never answered the call. I never answered my phone.

Nicoa Coach:

Me either. And I was like, oh, and you're like, hello. Page. It's Nicoa Nicoa. Done, Cornelius. Because I've been married. It took you a hot minute. And then you're like, yeah. And they're like, so I'm gonna do a podcast? And how are you doing? And you moved to Charlotte, and you quit your job and you started something new? And don't you want to be my guest? You were like, oh,

Page Fehling:

no, of course, I'm to listen, it is so flattering that she would think that anything I had to say could be useful to anyone. So thank you for having me. It's lovely to be here.

Nicoa Coach:

Well, I am super excited. And for my listeners, I then went after the fact because I have this bias for action. And then looked at pages background, and I'm about to tell you how freaking amazing she is. And I had no clue. Not surprised. I'm not surprised. over 25 years of experience, which she must have started at the age of 12. Because she looks so young. Started 12 Oh, hey, I'm so good with that. Right? Because you are third generation speaker, author, coach in broadcast journalism, professional development training. You are an amazing person, even though you went to Carolina, a Google fact. And you even went off into the Peace Corps at one point. And you were in Honduras. And you've lived in New you went into New York, you're a page at NBC. I was pacing page, page, the page. Gosh. So we both worked for GE is what we're saying. Exactly. Thanks, Jeff. No, that's how we know each other. You have actually not only been successful in broadcast journalism, you are a TV host. You work, live TV five hours a day for more than 10 years. And you talk a lot about being this vampire having to get up in the middle of the night and live your life and married with two beautiful children and this wonderful husband named Jake and you guys even have your own podcast, which made me a little nervous because you guys have the whole setup. Y'all right beforehand. We couldn't even get her locked in. It was like Nicoa

Page Fehling:

was Jake is by chat. He's my tech person and I you depend fully on him for that side of things.

Nicoa Coach:

So John is my coffee person even though he's the CTO, but he helps me with equipment and coffee and then I just wing it. But you have so much to share. And you guys also wrote a book called, holy crap or pregnant. So I hardly know where to start, except that this whole podcast is about a life by design. So I want to get you back to the very beginning, when you were that 12 year old, could you tell us a little bit about what it was like to be you? What did it feel like to be you in a family of communicators? And how did that influence your life by design,

Page Fehling:

it felt like I wanted to escape the house of me being home alone with an older brother who used me as a punching bag. In a very fun way, one of my favorite things to do with my older brother growing up was to wrestle, but that lasted about 30 seconds before I was done, and he was always bigger and stronger. And you know, thankfully treated me like an equal instead of like a little sister that he needed to treat tenderly. And literally one summer, my parents were like, alright, you are old enough to not need a babysitter. So your choices for the summer are stay home alone, while I'm working. My mom would work like a couple couple days a month, a couple days a week, depending on the day, she was a professional development trainer. And she said, you know, the days that I'm not home, you can either stay home with Casey, that's my brother, or you can come to work with me and help me with flip charts and bring in markers and help cut pancake because she would make homemade pancakes for every class. And I had about a day of the punching bag experience. And I said, I will learn to write on a flip chart for you. Yeah, so at age 12, literally, anytime that summer, anytime my mom would go to work, I would go with her. And she taught everything from listing and memory skills to interview right, it just gives me two interview skills to resume writing to the Myers Briggs Personality Type. I mean, you name it, the at the time, they call them soft skills, I believe the term now is typically power skills in the HR world. And I sat in the back of her class and helped her write flip charts and gradually learned all of that stuff. And then eventually, she started having me teach with her and we would sort of co teach and people were like, Why is a 13 year old or a 14 year old, you know, teaching this section on blah, blah, blah. And I was like, my mom would be like, because she's taking this course 17 times, oh, my God. And it just sort of turned into a thing from there. And I always thought that that's what I would do for my career. And then I fell into a journalism major in college, a friend who recommended that I major in journalism, and ended up sort of accidentally having a 20 year TV career before now I'm sort of back to my roots. Well,

Nicoa Coach:

you have, that's really cool, because you've got the foundation of skills that it takes people lifetimes to learn. I mean, I think you are even more of a coach than you. You don't even say coaching in here. But that's what you're doing even your three and 30s. And tell me what it felt like, though, when you went away and started that journalism career. So how did how did that shift you is somebody recommended it, but you must have loved it because you've done it?

Page Fehling:

Oh, I loved it. Yeah, I think so my job as a journalist was pretty much to learn things, and then turn to a television screen and tell people about it. Right? My job now and before then when I was 12 on with my mom was to learn things and then turn to a live audience and tell them about it right a classroom or studio or wherever I am a conference and event whatever. It's just it's the same thing. It's just a different setting. So regardless of the situation, I think I clearly am drawn to the sharing of information. I love to get to know people, I love to talk to them. I love to I'm constantly consuming content and information, listening to podcasts or reading books, and then going oh, wow, that was really interesting. I bet somebody else would enjoy hearing that too, or learning it just like I did. So that's sort of where all of the parts of my career have come together is just sort of in the sharing of information with each other, just sort of has different formats, depending on what it is I'm doing at the time.

Nicoa Coach:

Yeah, you're a teacher and a natural talker, like,

Page Fehling:

but also a learner, you know what I'd like? There's a part of me that gets very just like, I get very sort of awkward, totally and not self conscious. It's not the right word. Because I do think especially now at the age of 43. I recognize that I can say like, No, I have learned some things I knows I have knowledge bases that can help people. But I also feel very open to constantly going, but maybe I'm wrong. But maybe I'll learn something today that will change my mind about whatever the case is, you know, it's not about like, I'm a No, I know this. So you should know. But I know it's right. This is something I'm learning right now that I'm finding useful. And I'm gonna share it in case you find it useful to

Nicoa Coach:

absolutely, I mean, that's exactly why I do this podcast and why I do the coaching. I do and I use my own personal examples all the time. I mean, you're a combination of, you know, natural strengths as a communicator, plus curiosity, which that makes sense about the journalism piece would put you down that path. Well That's not an easy path, though. So part of these conversations I've been having is I really want people to observe themselves. Tell me what it felt like to be you in that career having to get up in the middle of the night having to always be on and, you know, quaffed like you are right now,

Page Fehling:

tie Oh yes, super cool. listener, I have on full hair and makeup. And for a blowout. I literally am still like dripping wet from the shower. And I have two brands in my hair holding over my cow like that I'm trying to train for bang. So Nicole has been very patient and just sort of averting her eyes to not have my current condition. tired to go, it felt tired for I mean, my TV career was mostly spent on a morning show. And we would go live on air from 430 to nine every day, which means I woke up at 157 in the morning for more than a decade. Why?

Nicoa Coach:

Why wanted to seven, that was awesome. Now,

Page Fehling:

I don't know, because I like to snooze, I like to give myself a little window. And for some reason I wanted to it was like two o'clock just felt too late, you know, two o'clock would have made me a little nervous to have the first one go off into a Glock 157 gave me that cushion to be able to snooze to get a little past to to give myself that luxury of like, you know what, I don't have to get up, I can sleep past 2am. And that just feels amazing. So that I would snooze a little bit. And, you know, get up and hit the ground running. When I got there. I basically show up to the station in my PJs, you know, and nothing I look like I do right now. And then get ready there while I'm kind of reading through scripts, and oftentimes my producers would come to the bathroom where I was doing hair and makeup, and we would kind of chat through what was going on for the show that day. Yeah, as I was sort of transforming into a human being that, you know, people could actually like, fix their eyes on for less than more than 30 seconds and not have to look away like you're probably having to do that. But it just, it was so exhausting in so many ways. And for sure that was like Jake. And I always say that was always our biggest fight was about my sleep, like our life revolved around my sleep, anything we did, I would always be going, but I'm tired. But I got to gotta get to bed, if we have this thing at night, or the kids have a practice or we had especially as I got older, I was always stressed about the sleep part. But just as many times as we thought about my sleep, or I complained about the sleep part, I also would come home from a day of work or text him or just in our conversations and say, I cannot believe I get paid to do this as a job. It was so much fun for so long, I literally felt like I got a paycheck and a good paycheck, by the way, like, as an anchor a lot of a lot of people know and say especially starting out in TV for reporters that are not paid well. And it's a job that you do for the passion and not the money. But I will say fairly to the television, television industry as an anchor, you do get paid well, they they make it worth your while, you know, depending on the station, what have you. So it's, it helps for those wake up and help us make those wake ups more palatable. Sure. So I literally felt like I was getting paid to go into a place and sit around and catch up with some of my best friends about what's going on in the world. But what you would do over coffee with a friend anyway,

Nicoa Coach:

that's right. And lucky I was, well that that just means it was a natural fit. And it was your passion. And it was when it's easy. And it's fun, you guys, that means you're living the life by design that is meant for you. It's part of your purpose. So but it's interesting, you talk about the thing about fatigue, I call that anticipated overwhelm, right. So you're looking at that, oh my god, well, we can't go there because then I have to get back and then I have to get ready for bed and then have to go to sleep and then have to get up to so you're already anticipating the overwhelm that could be as a result of the impact of your decision. Yeah, right. And so it takes a long time I get you I see you. It was so fatiguing as an exec to and you'd get up and you'd go and then you come home and it'd be 14 hours later for me. So how did you get away from the intensity of it in the early years? Did it ever calm down that anticipated overwhelm? Or do you think it was that way? The whole decade of being in that role?

Page Fehling:

That's a good question. You know, ebbs and flows, I'm sure some days it was more than others. I will say one really lovely thing about the mental stress or lack of stress for for TV dues is that to some extent, you leave it at the station, you know, I naturally consume, I should say consumed because I do not keep up with the news like I used to when I worked in it, but I just naturally like to know what's going on in the world anyway, so it didn't feel like I was stressed to keep up with headlines for work, although I would do that but that was just something I kind of naturally did. But you know, when the show's over the show's over. So it's not like you've got work with like right now I run my own business and there's cost At least something in my head of oof, I need to do this, I should be prepping this class, I need to send out this proposal, I gotta update the website. I love it, because it's all me, but it's always kind of in the back of my head. Whereas I love that station every day. And I was like, see in 12 hours, you know, or whatever the case was. So I could kind of leave it like that. So I guess that I mean, but then there were times, there were certainly times because of my schedule. My schedule, my day was basically done at 10 ish am on the way last year, I did a noon and a four show. So it was a totally different schedule. But for the bulk of my career for that morning show. I was finishing my day when most of the world was kind of just getting into theirs. So when I would book guests, or when I would do we had, we had one segment called Paige's pep rallies where we would try to go, we would do live shows for on Friday mornings during football season at different high schools. And that came about because anytime high schools or high schoolers are typically the news, it's not highlighting positive stuff, it's not showing just cool everyday things they're doing. It's because someone you know, there's been a shooting at a school or a fight at a school or somebody got kicked out of it, you know, whatever the case is. So we said, let's, let's find ways to show how to highlight positive things. And when I was booking those and trying to, you know, I would have to take phone calls in the afternoons from administrators and to try to plan those. And literally, I would spend the whole call going, Hey, sorry, hold on, let me give somebody a sippy cup, give me one second, that's my background, and then get it because most of them are working parents too. But there was always that when I'm at home, I'm still working news anchor when I'm working news anchor, I'm still a mom with three kids and a husband and dogs at home that all all of the above always needs different things through all of those times. Well, let's

Nicoa Coach:

go there. Let's talk about that motherhood. I'm a mother of three as well. And I can remember nursing those babies at 4am and having a 7am call in the horizon and they can just surrender just be here just nurses baby. How did you and Jake manage all of that? And was Jake available? What was his schedule? Like? I mean, you guys are your your this power couple but these babies I know that must have major little anticipated overwhelm every day.

Page Fehling:

Not only get Nicola and I love the way that you ask that, by the way, because you didn't just ask me you included Jake, even in your question, which is one of my probably annoying, so boxes. But anytime anyone asks me about motherhood, or we talk about conversations about that, I quickly say can we say parenting instead of mothering or pit, you know, because it's after the matter is, it wasn't just me, the, the way that I did it was because we both did it, you know, in the same way that, that if you look past the traditional, you know, 50s model of the mom stays home and raises the kids and the dad goes out and, and makes the money if those are the traditional boxes were put in the same way that we're able to have our family the way that we have it and raise our kids and balance. All of that is the same way that we're able to pay the bills every month, which is that both of us contribute fully to all of it. You know, that's right, I have a great job, and I make good money, and he has a good job. And he makes good money. And I put in quality time with our kids and with him. And he puts in quality time with our kids and with me. And that's for us. That works.

Nicoa Coach:

Yeah, I can remember when I was in the corporate world, and someone said, How did you do it? How do you do it? And I said, I haven't stayed home husband. That's how I do it. Did you I didn't know that. Yeah, my my ex husband now and his name is Mert, and he was staying home for 15 years. And that's how we did it, there is no way I could have done it. Without that type of support. And the people who don't have that resource or support, I would invite you to outsource the hell out of every day, Nana, because you can't do it all began unless you unless you have a team unless you have the mom down the street unless you decide that that kid that's 14 Now can babysit all day, every day, whatever it is that you need to do to get the resources. Sounds like you and Jake did a really good job of that. But it couldn't have always been easy. How did you guys kind of keep the balance? You did a three and 30, which we'll get to eventually recently. And you talked about managing busyness versus balance. And I always said, you know, people were busy as a badge. You're like, oh, so crazy, so chaotic. But how did you find the balance? Whereas the balance wasn't a burden. You know what I'm saying? Yes, I

Page Fehling:

do. And I think you're exactly right. And I find I don't know if you've ever done this, my friend and I were just discussing this the other day who she is in the middle of a career transition as well. And I said are you finding that you're the busiest you've ever felt? Just without even a full time job because she was thinking I have this meeting and then I'm meeting someone for coffee and then I've got to go get you know my Botox redone at this time and it is I go oh my god, take a pause and because I've done this like on a weekend ago, oh, my weekend was so busy and I look back and I go wait, I had a kids soccer game and then another kids soccer game, and then a massage and then a workout and you know, like in other words, yes, I have things but it's not like And yeah, that was I used to go to heart surgery, and then I've got to go save someone's life. You know, I've got to go like, repair my limb, like none of it is. It's just how we can make we can convince ourselves that we're so busy with stuff that we have complete control over. And, you know, if you go through like, a quick scare with the kids health, or you have a friend who goes, you so quickly go, oh, my gosh, love matters. What matters and like, let's put it in perspective here of what we're letting ourselves feel busy about. And thank god, I'm busy. Also with that stuff. It's all I want to be busy with it right? And it's so I rather be busy having things I want to do than wishing there were things for me to do that I didn't have access to or nobody wanted before. Well, you're

Nicoa Coach:

talking about being at choice. And if you can, you can parse it out. Yeah, my husband and I, John, he and I talk all about our busyness. But we say, Wow, we should do Phil all the moments. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of it. It's not that you're overwhelmed by the busy, it's that you're at choice. Yes. And you guys made a big choice for you to leave. And so let's take a quick coffee break. Right? I saw you sipping your coffee there, we're gonna take a little coffee break. And when we get back, I want you to tell me about that thought process, and how you made the decision to leave that journalism career and go out on your own.

Unknown:

We hope you're enjoying listening to this episode of Coffee with Nicoa. Make sure to subscribe so that you never miss an episode and follow Coffee with Nicoa on Instagram to find inspiring content that will help you begin creating your life by design.

Nicoa Coach:

Okay, we're back. I always make face it. Everybody's like Nicoa You're not supposed to talk about what you did during the break. Okay. All right. Professional drinker coffee. Yeah, I didn't even really drink it. Okay, let me really drink. I'll drink it. Oh, what's cold now? Okay. So let's talk about the quit. So, you know, I quit my job. I don't know if you actually remember this. But in 2009, I quit my job with a stay at home husband, three kids 12. And under with no plan, literally use the words I'm going to quit in a meeting on a Monday at 415. And never felt more coherent and my whole life. Now I did panic. About seven weeks later, I think I had massive panic attack. What was your process? How did you decide to make the quit?

Page Fehling:

It was long. It was you know, a long time coming. It's not it was not a decision that I made overnight. It was something like I said, I kind of always thought that I would be doing what I'm doing now as a career since I was 12. So it was for me the whole time I was in TV was almost more like, So when will I start doing that? Right? Well, I said I love TV so much that I didn't want to leave for so long. And I and I was. But I also knew because I started off as a page. You mentioned I was a page in New York and I got a ver I was an assistant. Like I literally basically had a career booking people's flights and making people's coffees you know, for the first couple years, but I met so many people and I had a very close look at the high levels of the industry that I knew I wanted to work in. And I saw thankfully very early on. Okay, this isn't where I want to end up. So what do I want to do? Because theoretically, a national show based out of New York would be the goal, right? That's kind of the career progression. You start off at smaller markets, you make it to bigger local markets, and then eventually you go national, right. And I just saw from what I could see, at least it didn't feel like the people in those roles. Had a lot of balance, or, or in general just had a life that I wanted. I didn't I knew that I didn't want to every night be going to a work event or feel like I had to play the political game of I want the most airtime or the this. And that's not to say that that's necessarily how that is for everyone. But from what I could see, it just didn't seem like a life that I wanted. I and Jake and I had very serious talks about all the time, we just had similar priorities. We, we were like, We want to find a place we want to live. We want to start a family and we want to basically make the life around us work for the life we want, right? Find Jobs and do jobs that will allow us to live the life we want. And

Nicoa Coach:

that by the way, yeah, that's a life by design. That's it.

Page Fehling:

Exactly. There you go. So then you kind of go okay, I worked in Raleigh for eight years, we had all three of our babies in Raleigh. We were close. Jake had family close to there. We had lots of fun both he and I went to Chapel Hill. So we had lots of you know, friends and family and things close by. And then we moved to Charlotte to be close to my family, which was sort of a lifelong joke between members of brother that I said who would just who I was the punching bag for and I were very close, but also, you know, we were siblings. I never thought that we would end up davers and he and I now literally share a pond like we share a backyard and we are right raising our kids together and we his sister in law. My sister in law's sister lives on the other side, and we just we jokingly call the family compound, but it's just this super fun bizarre situation that we have. That's so awesome. A little jealous? No, it's really cool. It's very special. And we very much appreciate it. It's really cool. I lost my train of thought there. So it's more here, right? We have this exact thing that we always meant to happen. lifewise and I kind of went, huh, so do I want to work on the same show, in the same city for the rest of my career. And, by the way, maybe a lot of people do. And they love that and you can have your real impact on a city and a community by being there for a long time. You know, and, and especially in the situation of being a journalist in a in a city for a long time, you know, that city like nobody else. So you really are able to communicate that on your shows and your podcasts and whatever, like nobody else. I just decided that was not what I wanted to do. I just kind of felt stagnant I wasn't it, the growth wasn't there for me, and I have something else I really wanted to do, which was this, which was okay, in terms of my own career and be and because I knew that that option was there for me that I knew what that looks like having seen my mom and my grandmother and my uncle do that. I knew the freedom that came with being able to pick your own schedule, as jobs you do, and when you do them and where you do them. And it is a very privileged, lovely blessing of a position to be in. Because I had seen it so closely. I knew how wonderful it could be and how to make it happen. So Jake, and I started talking when I started saying, you know, having serious conversations like, I really want to do this, I'm ready to be done with TV. We started planning accordingly. And I will say I want to just be very honest with anybody listening. Because everyone's first knee jerk is well, first of all a that was so brave of you to do and be like, was was Jake the cheerleader just like you got this girl, we will make it happen. And like neither one of those things was true.

Nicoa Coach:

What actually happened?

Page Fehling:

Need it's not a situation anyway. But if I were writing a movie, I know that's how the movie script would go, right? You've got this supportive partner who's like, yeah, you

Nicoa Coach:

got it. Well, I don't care.

Page Fehling:

For three years at Jake was like, No, we I want your income still in our family budget, like I live the life we haven't I don't want to like, you know, I don't want to not be able to go on date nights. And by the way, we don't live an extravagant lifestyle. But because we choose to live under our means. We don't we've never worried about cost because we don't. But we you know, we live comfortably like we're right. You don't have to wait. It's like, should we book a sitter? Or can we eat? Should we just stay home to save money like we because we both work? We've you know, and

Nicoa Coach:

that's okay. Yeah. And you don't have to rationalize that. But yes, it is a privilege.

Page Fehling:

Like we have to we have to sell the yacht but you know, it's not. So, and I was like, Can you just be the husband that's like, you can get a cheerleader. And but then in the back of my mind, I was like, You know what, if he came to me, I would say the same thing. So I totally get it. And his point was, let's put a plan in place. Like let's be smart about I believe that you can do this, but like, let's be sure that we're doing it smartly. So when I say that also, because when I when the second thing, right, the part about You're so brave to leave a career and do this. I always tell people don't do it. If you feel like you're taking brave risks, but you got bills to pay. To put the you know, we started we did cut back a little we did start putting some money aside, because we didn't know how quickly money would or wouldn't be coming in from my side. So we did it. I gave my station a years notice. I told them nine months before my contract was up. And literally from that moment on, I was like, I'm here, and I'm doing this job as well as I need to be doing it. But my mind is on what's next for me. And I'm just That's right. You know, and that wasn't, I didn't like not do my job at the time. But I knew I wasn't going to be that wasn't my career priority.

Nicoa Coach:

Right? It became the means to that transition. And that was a really important way to do that. And, you know, if I could do it over, I would not have quit. But then someone said, really? You wouldn't have quit that job. I said, No, if I could do it ever, I never would have taken the job in the first place. And that's really the knowing. Yeah, so and so although I had the cheerleader, you know, where it was like, oh, okay, I called him up. I'm like, Guess what I just did. And he was like, Ah, okay, well, now we're gonna have some fun. Well, the poor guy. I mean, halfway. Six months later, he's like, do you think you could just go back and do it and then just come home at five like, it doesn't have to be so all consuming. And I was like, you don't even know me?

Page Fehling:

No, it's all of those things. Like it's not so much life is not a scripted movie where everybody says the thing that just makes the audience feel good. It's, you know, it's hard.

Nicoa Coach:

But what What you did was you listen to your intuition and your gut about needing a change, it was time for a change. Was there anything in particular about that? That type of freedom that you had been craving? Were there any mishaps or examples that you were like, wait a minute, this doesn't feel as good as it used to.

Page Fehling:

When I left you mean TV

Nicoa Coach:

to in order to leave and say, you know, it's time for me to really start thinking about getting the heck out like this is not serving me as well as it used to?

Page Fehling:

Oh, absolutely, for sure. I mean, at my last year that I was there, I literally, I would I would it several times a day, I would have to just stand up and walk around outside or I would go eat lunch outside. Well, my whole schedule had changed. So I that was that's, I mean, somewhat a major part, but also somewhat not because I had already decided to leave. But we had I was at the station I was at for eight years, I think. And in those eight years, we had seven news directors and eight GMs. I mean, talk about turnover, yeah, three different sales of who owned the station even I mean, and by the way, the people that were there when I left, and I said this to them, if I were to stay in TV there who I would want to do it with. And I liked them so much and respected the when respect the way they're running that station, the way they do business, that it almost convinced me to stay even though it's time for me to leave. So it had nothing to do unfortunately, the people who I thought were really just like killing it, you know, I was a guy, why couldn't you've been here five jams and knew right go. And I really actually enjoyed and learned a lot from all of the people that came through, but it was sort of a it was, and who knows, maybe our paths will cross with them again, at some point, you know, we still are kind of in touch. But again, I keep losing when it came over there, that was insane. Yeah, what I was gonna say is, I honestly got to a point at one point where I went, I don't think that I am clear, I don't think that I would ever, like get a diagnosis of clinical depression or situational depression. And I only say that because I don't want to minimize people who really do have depression. But it's the closest I've ever gotten to wonder, Should I like, this does not feel good. This does not feel like me, I have the dread ease to go to work, I feel anxious when I'm there, I just do. All of my being is saying, you don't want to be here anymore. Yeah, I don't want to be here anymore. And couple that with the times that I would have phone calls or planning sessions for a speaking engagement I had booked or a workshop that somebody wanted, and I would get so excited and I would get happy and I would feel energized. And it was just obvious.

Nicoa Coach:

That is when it is obvious. I always tell people when you put your hands on the steering wheel, or nowadays when you put your hands on the power button on your laptop for your zoom call, if you're dreading it. Sit with that, sit with that journal about it. Ask yourself some questions. Why is this not aligning with me? Now you can shift and say, You know what, it may not be a lining, because it's not my passion. But it's a means to an end for the lifestyle yet I want to create, but you've got to change your perception of that. Yeah. And commit to that. You can't be half in half out of that. But I'm really proud of you. I mean, you really did it. And let's talk about that transition now. So you didn't renew your contract, you jump into your new business. And by the way, I love your website, Paige failing.com She's so amazing mind just looks like a half ass whatever. You got to get her marketing person like this is so good. Just so beautiful. So everybody go check it out. And of course, I'll put everything in the show notes. But you went out on your own, you probably already had some gigs that were just you just kind of slid right in what was it? Like? How did it feel?

Page Fehling:

What it felt like when I just as I was leaving and booked my first gig. Yeah, when you went out on your own, it felt great because my first gig was one of my highest paid gigs for the whole first year. So I was super excited. But it was probably false, you know, false excitement or false happiness because it was like, Oh, this is easy. Yeah. Oh, I gotta find more of these. And you know, but no, it was very exciting. But you're right because of the position I was in. I was so plugged in with the community. It wasn't a it wasn't a huge surprise to people when I left because I was already putting out content about professional development topics and be I had so many good contacts because I wasn't visible person am a visible person in the community that helps start a new business and I share that just because I think people need to be realistic about how easy it will or won't be even for me still here in Charlotte. A lot of my business I travel a ton because I do something and then people are there who you know, I just did something in California and I got a lot of great leads from it like five or six people who are you know, talking to me about actual dates, but guess what, they're all outwest which is fun, but I need to be you know, an I'm going all out west for all that stuff. So it's like being realistic about what contacts are making and where and where those leads are coming from and what business that leads to. So it felt great, it was very exhilarating, very exciting and very overwhelming at the same time, like, what do I do with the rest of my day? And how do I build my website and get the proposal out. And all of that led to many a breakdown, and many, you know, begging my husband to help me learn how Google Drive works, because I never did any of that stuff. And right, still a work in progress every single day. Thankfully, where at least now I know how to do the processes, and I'm to where I need to hire someone I need to hire. And I've tried several different iterations of assistance. And the biggest thing comes down to I just need to take the time to train someone and kind of let that happen. And that's a huge challenge for all of us. So,

Nicoa Coach:

you know, when you go out on your own, and you wake up in the morning and have that freedom, and it can be very paralyzing. And you're like, Well, where do I start? Well, I have 8 million things to do, which one is the most important today? And then you wake up, you know, 14 hours later, you've done the same same circus, different tent, Rush kind of how I saw, I was like, Shit, I'm still burdened by my work. So tell me how you're taking care of you. In this transit. It's only been about a year and a half, right? Since you got out officially, yeah, what do you do to take care of yourself, and any advice you'd give somebody going out on their own?

Page Fehling:

So I tried to work out several times a week. I know that's the basic answer. But truly that I've been like a late and late adopter of actually elated life adopter, I should say, of actually, you know, having an active lifestyle and trying to do that consistently. And Jake, and I do that together, which is really fun. I enjoy working out with him. We do date nights. I mean, I know that that's a personal thing. But it leads to all of the balance and professional and personal life too. So he and I are really intentional about spending time together doing date nights, and having fun with that. And I also just sort of recognize that rather than resenting things that could feel like Oh, and here, I am still on email at nine o'clock tonight. And I did this so that I wouldn't be you know, I go, No, wait, I get to choose to do this. This is my kind of back to what we all talked about with the balance over busy. It's a choice, you get to choose what you're doing, you could certainly get to choose how you react to what you're doing right in the end, like I could I could turn my email off, will I get as much business? No. So that's a choice I'm making, I'm happy to do that and to interact with clients or to weed through my inbox, or whatever the case may be. By the way, sometimes I'm also happy not to. And that might be a little bit just because of it. But that's a choice I'm making too. So just sort of, it makes me feel better mentally to know that I'm the one in charge of making those choices, and it's not in charge of making me do anything I get to choose to.

Nicoa Coach:

That's right, and I want to honor your time. So I'm gonna end with you give us your three and 30 best pieces of advice. Oh, could you do it? Could you pull it, I know you know how to improv girl. So I'm giving you a minute to whine those gears, three and 30 pieces of advice for art of life by design listeners today.

Page Fehling:

All right, here we go off the cuff. Let's see what I can come up with three tips in 30 seconds for how to live the life you want. Number one, plan ahead, know what you want to do, and then put the steps in place to get there. Number two, solicit feedback from people who know you well to know what you're good at and know if what you think your strengths are actually are playing out. And if they are great, keep going with it. And if they're not put some plans in place to bring to light the things that you know that you're great at. And number three, challenge yourself to put yourself out there and let the world know what you're doing, whether it's on social media via three and 30 or something like that, or whether it's just inviting people for a walk and talk or out to coffee, and letting them know, here's what I do. And here's how you can help me get there. And how can I help you to thing?

Nicoa Coach:

You are amazing. And if you guys listening, want a professional communicator to help your team or you individually, by the way, I send your three interest to my kids, my young adults, and I even advised my middle my 22 year old I was like, Hey, you're about to go work at KPMG you might want to get some coaching. Why don't you talk to pay each.

Page Fehling:

So I'm so glad you shared. That's why they're I hope that they help people. And I always say if you don't learn something, it only took you 30 seconds of your day to not learn it. And if you did, it only took you 30 seconds and I might make you better at your whole job in

Nicoa Coach:

life. Well, you make the world better just by being you and I'm just so honored to be your friend and obviously we're we're just such close friends. We have our phone numbers exactly how we met. We know everything about each other. Well, I hope that see you next time I'm in Charlotte. I'm definitely going to call you for a real coffee with Nicoa and thank you for Ah, have a wonderful day. Love you.

Page Fehling:

Thank you love you back appreciate you having me.

Unknown:

Thanks for joining us for a caffeinated conversation. Subscribe to Coffee with Nicola for more stories from people living a life by design. You can also find inspiration on Instagram. Just follow Coffee with Nicoa and check out our website Coffee with nicoa.com and that's Nicoa N IC O A. We look forward to talking with you soon and enjoy your coffee between now and then. Way