S1 Ep13: Missy Palmer Joplin

Join Nicoa as she talks with her childhood friend Missy Palmer Joplin who has demonstrated that life is going to come at you no matter what, no one's coming to save you so you might as well get out ahead of it! Listen in as she shares her own flexible, intentional Life By Design in partnership with her husband while raising two kids! She OWNS her Life By Design and has some awesome nuggets of advice when trusting her own intuition along the way.

Connect with Missy online via Social Media on Instagram @joplinmissy  and Facebook @MissyPalmerJoplin to stay informed about all the amazing Life By Design choices she is making with her entrepreneurial endeavors! Check out her Hemp based business here: Hemp Health With Missy

HEALTH REMINDER: Missy is also an Endoscopy nurse and wants to remind everyone that the Colon Cancer screening age is now 45 years of age! GET YOUR COLONOSCOPY

AND, to raise funds for Colon Cancer Awareness PLEASE Sign up for the Blue Ribbon Run annual fundraising event in Wilmington, NC, USA to help find a cure.

BOOK REFERENCE: Five by Dan Zadra sold on AMAZON

Buy your copy of YOUR LIFE BY DESIGN: A Coffee With Nicoa Self-Care Coaching Journal
on Amazon today! 

Transcript

Nicoa Coach: 0:01

Grab your coffee and join me Nicoa For a caffeinated conversation about life. I'll be talking to people who have chosen to walk their own paths and just like me, are creating a life by design. I hope that will give you the inspiration you need to do exactly the same. Missy Palmer Joplin. How are you my friend?

Missy Palmer: 0:29

I am great. How are you?

Nicoa Coach: 0:31

Wonderful. I was just trying to calculate how long we've known each other. What do you think?

Missy Palmer: 0:37

That would be a really long time? Let's not do that. Let's not do that. Because yeah, I just had a birthday. You just had a birthday? Yeah, yours? On February. So yeah, I don't know if we, if we calculate that I'll just make us pillow.

Nicoa Coach: 0:52

We're not. We're 31. Yeah, no, 31. Yeah.

Missy Palmer: 0:56

Sounds good to me.

Nicoa Coach: 0:57

Going on. For so anyway. You know, I actually am really excited about having this time with you. And when we were talking back and forth about the ideal client or guest, if you will, on the on the podcast. I remember you were like, yeah, what are you looking forward to, and then you came back to me, you're like, Hey, I'm a I'm a guest. I have a life by design. And I think it's pretty important to remember that lives by design don't have to be completely dramatic. They don't have to be jumping off the grid and living on a sailboat or doing something that's, you know, going against the system. And I would love for you to give a quick overview of your background without giving up spilling all the beans, but just give us a little overview of who you are. And then we're gonna dig deep into how your life and its path is a life by design worth remodeling.

Missy Palmer: 1:55

Right? All right, great. Well, yeah, so I grew up in Wilmington, like Nicole and I said, we grew up together. As kids, we were Elementary School. And then I hopped out of public school, came back into public school, then middle school and high school together. So I am a wife have two children, two grandchildren, and a mother and a sister and an aunt and all those things that you get to be as you get to be older. I am a nurse of 19 years, which sounds really crazy to say that because when I was going through nursing school, I never thought I'd even make it through nursing school. So to say that other nurses have 19 years is I'm very proud of that fact, I have had some big changes that I've made in my life and big decisions that I've made in my life and looking back on it. And well, I'll say that for a hot minute. But anyway, looking back on it, i i You kind of recognize you know, the thoughts that you were feeling at the time, but you didn't really recognize them at the time so that I've had a lot of those moments in my life. And and then I'm also a CBD hemp based Wellness Advocate. So I do a lot of education on hemp based products and what they are and how to get them and how to use them and all the things that are happening in that industry as well, as well as various juried events. And I've got a new little venture that I haven't told you about. So that tell you about that a little bit too. So yeah, well,

Nicoa Coach: 3:19

perfect. You are, you know, you are my friend from so long ago that I've been watching, you take this path. And although we had a big break, we didn't really get to see each other for a long time I went off, got married, lived all over and came back about five years ago. And I have to thank you for being one of the most receptive friends. You embraced me when I came back, you are kind and compassionate and supportive and you really role model, championing your friends, you help your friends help, you know, you really hold them up. And I could not have made that transition back into Wilmington without you so I just want to start with a big thank you to you.

Missy Palmer: 4:00

That's powerful. Well, I was glad to have you back. But yes, that's part of life. Friendship, to me is coming in and out. I mean, you know, you have those friends that I don't know that there's anybody in my life that I've that I've actually been in their life study unless it was like family, you know, like, aunts and uncles and that you were just totally in your life study. To me friendship is about you know, keeping track of people and coming in and out of their lives when when it's when you're needed and or when there's when when there's a part to be a part of their lives. I followed you on Facebook, I knew what you were doing on a big social media fan. So to me that's the greatest thing about about social media, I don't do the politics. I don't do any of that stuff. I just skip right over all that stuff. That's not what I need it for this now I'm a connection person. And so being able to see those connections and see how your family was growing and what you were doing, even though we didn't see each other face to face. We were still a part of each other's lives and I have to thank like Facebook and Instagram and all that for for for that reason. I have so many People that I'm so connected with, because he used to be, you know, writing letters and getting on the telephone was like, I'm like, I don't have to pop on Facebook and see what I was doing. You know?

Nicoa Coach: 5:15

What, why don't you tell me a little bit about during that timeframe where we weren't together? Tell me why you had a an intentional life by design from the very beginning. Like, was there a point where you started saying, wait a minute, I'm in charge of this life? What do I want?

Missy Palmer: 5:31

And yeah, yeah, definitely. Well, so you know, like, like, you and I both did, we both graduated from high school, and you went off to state I went to East Carolina, that's just what you did. It's just just you were I mean, mom and dad said, You gotta go get a college degree, you know. So you go off, and I went to East Carolina, and I thought, I didn't have any idea what I wanted to do, or what I needed to do with my life. And but I had a real good time. At East Carolina, I met my husband, my sister was there, all the things, and I left there, got married, haven't had a degree. And basically, I say this all the time, I had a degree in customer service, because I graduated with a hotel and restaurant management degree, which is basically a customer service degree. I mean, that's just what it is. Treat your customers well, and, you know, but so anyway, so I did that for a short term in Greensboro. We live in Greensboro. I did that for about a year, it was really a tough job. 327, you know, I mean, it was 325, you know, 24/7. More worked at the quarry Convention Center. And then we moved back to Wilmington came back here. And there was really not a lot for me to do here. The only thing if you remember that time was the Hilton downtown. We didn't have the Wilson Center and the convention center and all these things that you could do with a degree like that here in Wilmington. So I ended up working about, which I think we all did, at some point, we worked at the mall somewhere. I did. I did that started having kids. I sold furniture for a little bit, I tried, I went back and got my real estate license, because I was going to do that I kept trying, I was just looking for things that I can you know that? What am I going to be able to do? You know, when my kids get older, and all the things well, ended up, I ended up staying home for a short term with the kids. And which was not an easy decision, Joe was working six days a week, trying to get a golf store off the ground with a with his partner, and, you know, retail and all of that. And so, but staying home with kids, we had no money, you know, I really didn't have the money to stay home with the kids. But we did it. And when I started thinking about once Ellie was two was around right before she turned to bright for camera turns six, because they're four years apart. I looked at myself, and I said, What am I going to do when they go back to school? Like, who am I going to be? What am I going to do? And I said to myself, I don't know. Like, I don't know how I'm gonna be so fast forward a little bit. When I think about it. Now, that was my moment, when I said to myself, no one's coming to your rescue, like, nobody's gonna come knock on your door and say, Oh, we would love to pay you $80,000 A year and that you just do this, you know, like, no one was going to do that for me. So I had to decide, what am I going to do for myself? Like, how am I going to make, you know, what am I going to? Who am I going to be? And I'd always wanted to be a nurse. That's that was. But if I had tried to do it at East Carolina, because remember, I said I had a really good time at East Carolina. If I had decided to do that I would have I would have failed out more than likely because my head wasn't in the game. And I never would have been a nurse. I'm also I'm a big believer and things happen when they're ready to happen. And at that time in my life, I said to my husband, I said to my parents, and I said I'm going back to nursing school, I'm going to do it. Because the conscious decision to me was time is going to pass two years is going to go by whether I'm a nurse or not. I mean that time goes, you know, tomorrow comes whether you have done what you're going to do or not. And that really was a moment in my life. When I decided to do that, that. And I come back to that moment all the time. And every decision that I made, it was a big decision that I make is time comes and goes whether you're doing what you what you really are meant to do or want to do. Or not, I mean, time doesn't stop anyone I guess is it. And so I did my kids were two and six and I did two years in nursing school, straight through and can't believe I did it. It was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. But one of the best things I've ever done. I love being a nurse. I love serving others. I work for an Endoscopy Center here in town. I only work part time, which is amazing. Because I've put other things in place in my life to allow that to allow that to happen that I that I only work part time so it allows me to do other things.

Nicoa Coach: 9:52

Well, let me ask you a question about when you looked yourself in the mirror when the kids were that little I mean we're Are you afraid? Are you nervous? He said it was the hardest thing you ever did. I mean, how did you really get yourself motivated? Did you have to self motivate? Did you have people around you helping you out?

Missy Palmer: 10:11

Well, everybody thought I was crazy. Especially my father, he looked at me and he said, Thank you for doing that. And then he asked me who was he was, like, are am I paying for this? So? No, yes, I was, I was scared. I was I was petrified. And the crazy thing is, is when I when I when I went into it, so I got my nursing degree from Cape Fear. And so when I applied, I was number 12, on the waiting list. So I got a message that said, you didn't get in, you're number 12 on the waiting list. And we're just gonna say, and so I'm like, Okay, well, it's not gonna happen. I'm not gonna go 12 people to be sure, 12 people, you know, they're gonna take that slot, everybody wants to go to nurse. I mean, it was very competitive. So, two weeks before classes started, I got a call saying that I could have a spot if I wanted it. So 12 People decided at that time that they were either going to do something else go to another school, whatever the slots open up. So I had two weeks to prepare for with a two year old and a six year old to put things into place to say, okay, here, I'm gonna go up. I'm going, I'm gonna go back to school. You know, so yeah, it was very scary. I relied a lot on my family over a lot of them. My both my mom and dad, that dentists are still here. And, and, and they helped out a lot. But they were both working full time. You know, Joe was working six days a week, we had to hire a babysitter, I had to use my, I used my money that I got for assistants to pay a babysitter. Right? Yeah, to come in. She came in at two o'clock, I went to night classes, she came at two o'clock. And she stayed till Joe got home, five days week. And then clinicals that I when I started doing those, they were on the weekend. So we just split the time between whoever could take the kids about please take my kids.

Nicoa Coach: 11:54

Or you made it work. I mean, you really had to have kind of that mental toughness, to you know, get engaged in it, and then get it done. So the two year program that was it. So you you were either in and out, or you would have to extend it. I mean, you managed to do it in the timeframe that they recommended. Right? You you

Missy Palmer: 12:11

had to you had to because if you didn't that there was somebody else waiting for your spot? Yeah, it was a do or die situation. Yeah, it was like, you know, so? Yeah. And I really I really attribute that to, you know, I think about that time in my life a lot. And I and I have made big decisions and big shifts in my life because of that,

Nicoa Coach: 12:32

you know, why do you think it is that people like you and me can see the path? Like we were willing to be confident enough to just take that step? I mean, I always find that fascinating. How, like, so me sitting here talking to you today on the podcast. So you know, there's people out there that, that listen to us. And they think, Well, I'm different than you? Well, I couldn't do it. Because I always wonder what it is about us. That gives us that confidence. I'm literally just pontificating here, but I'm just curious. What do you know?

Missy Palmer: 13:04

I agree. I mean, I, I mean, obviously, I kind of feel like life is I mean, it's just honestly, it really is your life by design. I mean, you know that that's the best words ever create the life, whatever it is, I mean, for whatever reason, I don't want I mean, there's things that I've settled for, obviously, I mean, I've settled for things that, you know, but but I don't, I want to be happy in my life, I want to be challenged in my life. And I think it takes a lot of just really looking into inward, you know, I've done a lot of practices, and it doesn't come overnight, the thought processes doesn't come overnight. And you have to really want to pay attention to change in your life, you want to see that. Have seen it. It's like if you don't, if you're not looking for it, you're not going to see it. So if you just blindly just go life is just gonna happen, and I'm just gonna follow the path because this is what I'm supposed to do, then the life is just gonna happen.

Nicoa Coach: 14:08

Yeah, you're you really, you're talking about this assumption of life happening to you, versus life happening for you, and how you're going to handle what you are handed. Right. So you also made some big decisions down the road with the kids. And I think you guys had to move at one point or you and you downsize at one point and made these decisions very intentionally. Why and how did you do that?

Missy Palmer: 14:37

Well, so at one point, back in 2014, Joe had my husband had had an opportunity to move to Chicago, which you know, as I said earlier, I grew up in Wilmington and didn't really know much else. But and it wasn't something he had to do. It was just an opportunity. And he's not much of a risk taker. He's not much of somebody to say, Yeah, I'll do this. But it, but at the time we talked about it. We talked to our chip kids about it. And it was a really good opportunity for him to move into management with this company. He had to go to Chicago, we were in the suburbs of Chicago, had to spend time in the home office in order to get into the program and all the things. So we did that. And we took we just uprooted and I'm proud of the fact that we were all brave enough to do that. I can tell you when we packed up the car, and you know, the company moved us. So all our stuff was on a big thing. But we packed up my little Toyota Camry with a dog in the car. And it was just actually was just LA. And Joe and I because Cameron, our oldest date here, he had graduated, he stay here. And as we were leaving town, I was driving. And as we were leaving town, I and I looked in the rearview mirror and I busted I burst it it burst into tears. I mean,

Nicoa Coach: 15:48

just Sure.

Missy Palmer: 15:49

I mean, it was just like, I was like, What am I doing? Like, because I mean, like I said, we didn't have to go. It wasn't like he was going to lose his job. It was like this was just an opportunity he wanted to take advantage of. And our daughter's a very adventurous person. She's always the one to say, Yeah, I'll do that. Sure. I'll do that, you know, whatever. So when we talked to her, she was like, Yeah, let's go. And so with her on board, it made it easier for me to get on board. And we moved out there. And I have to tell you, when I look back at that time, there were so many things that happened and dynamically between my husband and I, and the three of us, and I mean, we went out there, we didn't have anybody, it was just three of us. So our relationship grew, and our relationships changed because of that. I truly believe that Elliott, Jo and I are way closer, closer than we would have been have we have we not done that? I think Cameron learned a lot of things being on his own. And you know, so that I can't say and we loved Chicago. I mean, loved it. Yeah, it was awesome. You know, we, and we knew it wasn't going to be a forever. So that made it a little bit easier pill to swallow, I guess. So we kind of went out there. And we just made the best of it. And we did. And we had a fabulous time. And then fast forward 2016 We didn't know we were coming back to Wilmington, we didn't know where we would go, which was another piece of the pie. But we ended up being able to come back to Wilmington, and fast forward even more, Joe's not even with that company anymore. But it put him in a position to be able to then move into a company that that he he moved into a startup company about three years ago, which have opened up new doors and new opportunities and all the things so you know, had we never done that we could have stayed in Wilmington and had a very happy life. And it would have been status quo and moving on. But you know, we didn't we chose not to we chose to make a big decision and a big change in our lives. And and and I'm, I just feel like I feel like at least a better person for it. I feel like we're better people for it. We just had more experiences. And it wasn't great time. It was a great,

Nicoa Coach: 17:57

you really expanded your horizons, right? You and I feel like people often live with a set of blinders on like, like a horse set of blinders. Right? And it's all you know, it's all you were raised to know. And I can even remember when I quit my job, when Tuesday go into a Starbucks in the middle of the sunshiny day and thought, what are these people doing? I may have even said this in another interview. But I was so shocked that people weren't in a big building. And so my my blinders had to really kind of be expanded as well. Let's take a quick break. And when we get back, I really want to talk about how you were intentional about your return to Wilmington.

Unknown: 18:32

Okay. We hope you're enjoying listening to this episode of Coffee with Nicola. Make sure to subscribe so that you never miss an episode and follow Coffee with Nicoa on Instagram to find inspiring content that will help you begin creating your life by design.

Nicoa Coach: 18:49

Perfect. And as I always say we take a little dance break when we do that. So they did. We didn't love it. So you so you're coming back. So you've had this two year experience. He's gotten the training and the development that he was looking for, and maybe some connections and he's coming back to Wilmington, how do you not just go back? Or did you go back to the same lifestyle that you had before?

Missy Palmer: 19:13

Yeah, I mean, somewhat. Yeah, I mean, I entered that I went back to the old job that I had pretty much had and I mean, I had I had been I've been with the advanced V center for if you looked at my start date and to now 18 years, but I left earlier than that and did some other things. I tried my hand at some hospice, nursing and some other things that I you know, felt like I needed in my life in that interim. But anyway, coming back to Wilmington, I was able to get back at the Investment Center, which is the people I know and love and family and all of that that's my comfort zone. And we we really didn't have you know, we sold our house so we had to rent. So we did that for like three years. And and the thing about it was is that when Joe moved back when we got back here, he didn't have a job. We're in Wilmington, like his job was in

Nicoa Coach: 20:00

Virginia. That's right. I remember that. But he had to travel to

Missy Palmer: 20:04

Virginia. So every Sunday, Monday, he would leave, and he would come back on Thursdays. And for us, we've been together since 1988. That was completely foreign. We didn't know what to do with each other. When we didn't, when we weren't together, like, I mean, that was just because we'd always been together. I mean, you know, short of like, girls weekends and things like that, but I mean, him traveling, like, that was a huge adjustment. It was a huge adjustment. And, but we you know, but we did it. And and then let's

Nicoa Coach: 20:33

talk about it for a second, though. How did that feel? I mean, a huge adjustment. Were you scared, lonely? How did you cope? I mean, you're raising the babies now. And even though they're older, sorry, they're older at this point. But they're responsible for Ellie in high school and all the things and he's not there. If, if my memory serves me, right, that was really stressful for him as well. Absolutely. How did you manage that?

Missy Palmer: 20:54

Yeah, yeah, well, I can tell you, I gained a little bit of weight. Because I did, I would like I was lonely. So I would call my friends and be like, Hey, you want to go out to dinner, or you want to come over and have a glass of wine or whatever. So you know, couple, three days a week, I was like, entertaining, because I was like, I was lonely. I don't like to be alone. But anyway, yeah, it was tough. We had to make very conscious decisions. During that time, I can remember saying, you know, when you're traveling, I, you know, I will be doing things and you will be doing things, but we won't know, you know, we Joe and I sat down and we made very specific guidelines and boundaries between, like, if you call me in the middle of the day, don't, if I can't answer the phone, that's because I'm busy, I'm at work, or I'm, you know, I've got, I've got appointments or whatever. And you may not always know what I'm doing. Or I'm, I'm not certainly not gonna know what you're doing during the day with your job. So I can't anticipate or expect the expectation can't be you're going to pick up the phone like that. Or you're going to be able to answer my question right off the bat, or you're going to text me right back or whatever. So we had to make very boundaries, we had to set boundaries during that time, so that we knew the feelings that would ensue with called or two times and she hasn't called me back. I wonder what she's doing. You know, those feelings when you're when you're out of touch that that sometimes creep into your head, wonder what she's doing? Why isn't she coming back is something wrong? Oh, my goodness, you know, we didn't want to have that. We don't want to have those those feelings. So I can remember the conscious effort to sit down with each other and may and create boundaries and say, you know, this is we're going to talk at eight o'clock every night. And that's an expectation at eight o'clock every night, we're going to talk on the phone, it's going to be you know, man, you there's not going to be kids running in and out, you're not going to say I've got dinner plans, you're not going to that was our time to talk every day, you know, and if it was something that was urgent during the day, you know, that we needed somebody's attention on you know, then there was then then the we would communicate that, you know, like, Hey, I got to talk to you now, you know, like it was, instead we just didn't want those. It's just hard. It's hard, long distance is hard. And so much of long distance issues come from lack of communication. And I'm a huge communicator, like I will over communicate things 1000 different ways to Sunday. And, you know, but that's just who I am. You know, I love I just I need everybody to know what my sister makes fun of me. Because I'll say, I'll be like, yeah, we're leaving at 1145. And she's, she's more like, she's more like, okay, we're just gonna, like round 11 Oh, gosh, oh, you know, whatever. And she was, so she makes fun of me, because she says, missy, are you leaving at 1144 and 33 seconds, you know, because I am like, always saying, you know, this is, this is what I'm doing. I'm gonna be here, and then I'm gonna be there. And then I'm gonna be there. And you know, like, that's just who I am. So, anyway, Joe, and I definitely made, we had to make those those decisions with each other. And that's the only way it worked. And it wasn't easy, and it wasn't fun. And then the other side of that when he would come home, I would have been here in Wilmington. And so I would have said, you know, I wanted to like, Hey, let's go to Myrtle Beach for the weekend. Or why don't we go visit my sister or why don't we do this? And he'd been in a hotel all week. And he's like, that's the last thing I want to do. I want to be here. Like, I don't want to do you know, so that was the other thing is we had to flip that and say, okay, you know, you need to understand that I need to get out of this house and I need to have time away and I understand that you've been away so you know, it's hard. It was hard. It's a hard two years. We did it for 10 Did

Nicoa Coach: 24:39

you know it was gonna be two years when he started that commute?

Missy Palmer: 24:45

No, no idea. No, we didn't know how long it was gonna be. And and really honestly, the way got out of it was we ended up moving companies and that's the way I got out of it. And then he ended up getting a territory here and so you know, it's just been it's been a much better

Nicoa Coach: 24:58

yeah, and And at some point, you must have had to have the conversation where you said this is not working, and is not healthy for us. And therefore, again, life by design, right? So sometimes when you think, well, it's worth it for the money, it's worth it for what's possible, what's worth it for the potential, you have to really accept that sounds like you did, until it wasn't worth it anymore, and you can make a change, you can leave a company, you can go do something else.

Missy Palmer: 25:26

And like I said, He's not one to jump ship, Joe's got an incredible work ethic, and he's want, he's going to stick it out till he's, you know, can't stick it out anymore, you know. So for him to make that change, when he jumped into this startup company from and the way the reason he was able to do that was because of what we put into place in Chicago, he never would have been able to enter into this startup company that he did, you know, three years ago, four years ago, now, almost, if he had we not had that experience in Chicago. So again, you know, when you look back on your life, you can, you know, if you pay attention, you can see where things just build on each other one thing, one thing pulls you up to another pulls you up to another some things pull you down. But I mean, you know, for the most part, those experiences, yeah,

Nicoa Coach: 26:09

you're talking about value and all. And we trust that the journey is not a straight line, it's typically you know, very curvy, and up and down, and all around. And, and that's a really key message for people, they often will do what I call compare despair, and how their life looks to somebody else. And at the end of the day, they have to respect the journey and the contrast that they're experiencing. Let's say they're, you know, down and out and they're broke, or they go through a divorce, or they hate their job, you have to see that the polarity of something you don't want, so that it can it motivate you to actually take action to something that you do want. So although you guys were, you know, banking on that opportunity for Joe, ultimately, it sounds like it eroded the values that you really had in place as a family and what your life what you really wanted your life to be like, how did you both come to that decision that it was time for a change? Was there some event or did it begin to you get on each other's nerves or start getting disappointed? What happened?

Missy Palmer: 27:13

It just, it just was hard for like I said, I mean, some people can do it, you know, some, if you've done it your whole married life, then that and then that's what you're used to. But it was something that we were really, we really had to, to come to terms with. And so we did it, we knew it could not be forever, we knew that that couldn't happen. And so when he started looking for other opportunities, and this one came along, and we were fairly validated in the fact that there were other people joining this company that he respected and that he knew and all and so when that validation came along for him, and he took that, and I can remember when he, when he took that decided to when we decided for it, that he was going to take that job back and remember the release. I mean, it was just like, we were like, Okay, this is this is it, you know, we're gonna, this is going to be good, you know, number one, we got to come back, we got to be back in Wilmington, we got to be here with you know, in his territory is in this area. So, you know, he de travels, Raleigh, Greenville, that kind of thing. But I mean, he's here, our life is here. We got to settle, we ended up buying another house and 2019. You know, I ended up moving into another opportunity in 2019, as well. And so, you know, we've just kind of once we had a second to breathe, I don't think we could have done any of those things. And the in the realm that we were in, and that I don't think we could have handled buying a house and me taking on another opportunity and all that in that realm, the weight the way our life was going at that time, we wouldn't have been able to do that. It wouldn't have happened. It wouldn't worked.

Nicoa Coach: 28:43

Yeah, of course. And and so, you know, a lot of people think that you have to compromise like that. Do you think that now now that you know what, you know? Would you have done it the same way? Would you have split your time like that from each other? Or are you just glad you did it? And it was great for him from his own career trajectory? Or? I don't know, people sometimes say do I have to compromise?

Missy Palmer: 29:08

Yeah, um, I fit, I would not have changed the time in Chicago at all, like, I would not have done the things that I and I mean, I literally could could, could sit here all day all day and tell you the amazing things that we've learned from that opportunity, and Ellie and everything and all the things. So no, I wouldn't I wouldn't have done that at all the time apart was, was definitely hard. But I think it taught us a lot about each other. I think it taught us that number one, we can do it and we didn't fall apart, you know, because we've obviously, you know, been together since 1988. And not having any have not having to do that type of work. I think it taught both of us that we that we that we could do it and that we didn't like it.

Nicoa Coach: 29:48

Right that you love each other.

Missy Palmer: 29:50

Right? The next opportunity would be one of you know what? So we take what we don't want we know what we do like and where can we marry the two Bring and bring that opportunity forth for you. And for the family. You know, Joe's always been a great provider for the family. He's always been that really workhorse and that person that, you know, puts every you know everyone but himself first. And so being able to marry that and take the opportunities that he was given at his other job and push it into this job and then mold it into one that fit in our life was really, it was, yeah, that's what happened.

Nicoa Coach: 30:28

Perfect and molding it into your life. That's the key there. And so why don't you share with us how you made some adjustments as well. Because what I can tell the theme for my sweet friend Missy is that you like to continue to grow and expand and learn and try new things. And I loved when you said, Oh, whenever did real estate. Oh, I tried that a little bit. I think that's exciting. And give yourself permission to try new things is, is a great life by design role model. Because people can get bored and they can get stuck in there. Well, this pays the bills or this. But you did something really unique. And hey, who knows? Maybe I was role modeling a little bit there where I did a tell everybody about it.

Missy Palmer: 31:10

And absolutely, yeah, so yeah, when Nicole moved back to town, she decided that she was going to partner up with a company india Hicks was that at any any Hicks?

Nicoa Coach: 31:22

I love, she's gone out of business. I love that product. And her her brand. Yes. And

Missy Palmer: 31:28

great, great things. Yes, I really did. And, and yeah, and I, actually we I have for you, we did, we did very well. And I remember, you know, it was just it was it was such a success, you know, and me, she was good at it. And I supported her in any way that I could. But, ya know, it's, there's so many opportunities out there like that, there's so many things that you can do with your life, if you decide you want to do something different. And that's why I work part time. That's one of the reasons why I work part time again. And that's a conscious decision that I make. Because I know myself, I've done enough like inner self, looking at my inner self that I know, I like to be challenged. I like to have something to do and my job at the Endoscopy Center, even though I love it, absolutely. It's my family, my home. It's it can be very mundane. I mean, you know, and then that's a good, that's a good thing. Because, you know, you know, obviously in the nursing world, you don't want things to be off the chains, because then that means something bad might be happening, you know, so, I mean, being having it be you know, the same is is a good thing, but it's also boring. It can be it could be like, I can't do it. Or, you know, but, um, but I, but yeah, so I decided in 2019, I decided and looking at people like Nicoa, who've had success with other you know, other businesses like this, I decided there was a new company that was starting in Wilmington is a hemp based wellness product company called Green compass. It started in Wilmington, headquartered here, we have our hemp farms in Chad, Bern, North Carolina, brand new, didn't have product, and I got the opportunity to join up with them. And that again was like, I was like, What am I doing? Like it was that same. And you know what, I had that same fear. I had that same fear that I had when I said I was gonna go back to nursing school, like, number one, I don't know anything about it. Number two, how am I going to fit it into my life? You know, like, where's it going to fit? And, you know, am I going to be successful? What if I fail? You know, fear is a really, really fear, create laws that you tell yourself? That's what it does? It It initiates the lies that you say, I can't do this. It's too much. I can't do this. It's not. It's not for me, I don't have time. What if I fail, you know, that the those kinds of things came back. But at the end of the day, again, my my thought processes number one is not nobody's coming to save me. I mean, I think about that all the time, nobody's coming to save me. So no one's gonna come up and say, you know, this is this is what you're, you know, this is how your life is gonna be. So, and number two, this was an opportunity that was totally new, completely new. And nobody really knew much about it. Nobody knew much about the industry. And I knew the people that were starting the company, and I knew the heart of those people. And I knew that this was going to be something that was going to be really big. And so I tell people all the time, one of the reasons I joined up was really for from FOMO. It was fear of missing out and I suffer from that all the time. I want to be a part of everything. I want to do everything but this I said to myself, if this company does what they say they're gonna do, and I'm sit on the sidelines, and I don't and I'm not going to be a part. I'm not a part of it that I'm going to be met. It's going to I'm going to be upset that I had the opportunity to do it when I did. And that's where people that's where and I hesitate to use this word that frustration comes in sometimes for me when Pete People do close a blind eye. And they do say, I can't do that. It's, it's too much, I'm too scared, I'm going to fail, whatever. Because the other side, you have no idea what that opportunities gonna be. You don't, your head can tell you that you know, but you really don't,

Nicoa Coach: 35:18

I think you're talking to about like fear, uncertainty and doubt, like the Gremlin on your shoulder, right? That continues to tell you, you can't do it, don't do it, don't do it, that's too scary. Just be bored. Just stick with the paycheck, just do what you're doing. And then ultimately, you have to notice if you're arguing for your limitations too much. And because if there is a part of user has the FOMO and wants to try something new, and your business model is really excellent, you've been so successful, and you've been able to travel and add extra income to your family. And that whole model has been really great for you. And if you'd said no, wow, if you just argued for your limitations, you never would have known to your very point. So yeah, How successful have you been?

Missy Palmer: 36:07

Yes, well, you know, that's, it's been a, it's been a crazy ride, and it's only gonna get better. And I mean, I've consider myself very lucky that the company that I partnered with, is the company that I partnered with, because there's a lot of companies out there that I could have partnered with, that are don't have the standards that we have then though, and, and the the things that that the company puts into place. The people the coat, the founders, and the founder and the president, they're married, Meredith and Sterling cook are their names. And they are absolutely amazing. And coming into a company as a young company, and being you know, one of the first people that you know, that gets on with a company, that means you get to you to know the founders, and you get to know the Pete, the corporate team, and you get to know all of those things. And honestly, the best thing about this business has been building this brand, helping them build this brand and helping them build this market and this business and moving it forward, that's been the most exciting thing. And I didn't go into it, yeah, I didn't go into it, I didn't go into it thinking, Oh, I get to help build a whole new brand, I get to help build a whole new market, but that's what it became. That's what it's become. And we're going and we're just we're just, we're in this huge growth phase right now. And it's just really, it's insane. You know, we've got amazing products that are safe and effective, we've got a lot of regulations in place that we regulate ourselves, a lot of companies don't do that in this industry. And it's just, it's, it's a, it's an extension of what I do as an artist anyway, education is key, a lot of people don't, don't have any idea what these products can do for you, or how to take them or when to take them or, you know, any of that stuff. So I do a lot of educating I do a lot of community events. And, you know, that's just an extension of what I've always done as a nurse,

Nicoa Coach: 37:56

and that's helping your lifestyle how your life by design is better, because

Missy Palmer: 38:03

well, I can tell you, if I had CBD and hemp based products, when my kids were little, they would be different. So as far as, like my overall, like health, well being and the things that I that I can, that I've, you know, been, you know, in my mind mentally, you know, and, and all that I've that I've been able to achieve at all, you know, the things that the products give me, I guess, is what I'm trying to say, has been amazing. But the community that I've built, and the community that I've been a part of, again, is one of the probably the more surprising things that I didn't go into it thinking, Oh, I'm gonna meet a whole bunch of great people, you know, and I'm gonna just have this really great support system. And I'm going to have this, you know, group of people that I can count on and turn to, but it's like, when you when you join a brand new company, it's like moving into a new neighborhood, a brand new neighborhood, when you move into a new neighborhood, everybody in the world wants everybody in your neighborhood wants to come home, they want to have a party, they want to know who you are, they want to do all those things. When you join an existing company, a big corporation, then you're just a person, they don't, you might know the people around you, but you don't know you're not going to know any of that stuff. So that's the kind of the way I look at it and the income. I mean, you know, it's allowed Joe and I to you know, we we, and I can't say solely because of this subject, but it's it's freed up money for us to get a small little condo up in the mountains. So we have a little getaway that we can go to, which is always been a dream of ours. And you know, that was a dream that we never, ever thought would become reality to be but because of the things that we put into place, you know, and having the extra income. We've been able to do that and we and the plan had been to rent it out. We now we just have it for ourselves and our family and it and it's not a big place. It's not like huge it's not 650 square feet. I mean it's exactly it's ours and it's and it's our place is our Happy Places are a place where we go and get away and reconnect which again Is been, you know, being an empty nester, you know is,

Nicoa Coach: 40:05

yeah, I love

Missy Palmer: 40:07

when the kids get out of the house, it is great. But it's, you have to, you know, you do have to adjust to that because you can still get caught up into that trap. And I think you have to remember, you know, Joe, and I've always been the kind of couple that needs to go away and get away from the ever day. So that we can remember, you know, oh, yeah, I really do that. Like, you are right. Yeah. You know, like, like we do it, you know, because, like, sometimes makes you not fish, right? No, you're here and then you made sure not set. So having that space for us has been wonderful. Yeah. So that it's, it's and it's allowed us to travel. I mean, you know, like it's just been, and he's met a lot of great people. And I think that

Nicoa Coach: 40:49

you're really sharing that you know, when you trust your gut, and you follow your intuition that you can make change and still ultimately get what you want. And so I would just offer you the opportunity right now to share any of your reflective tips, advice, you know, what would miss you want to share with the world based on your life story to date, because this is, you're only 31. And so you've got at least another 50 years. So what advice would you share with everybody? And then, what are you looking forward to the most?

Missy Palmer: 41:25

Well, I'll tell you, the best advice I can give. Well, there's I could probably sit here all day and give you advice, because I love me. But But I think, you know, I think people just say no to quick. I think they do I don't think that they think about and I think they do it because they and I've said no I mean, you know, it's I've said no to opportunity before and but when I when I say no to something, and I just want to go off on a little tangent here, but when I go to a store, because I do love to shop, when I go to a store and I see something like a shirt or whatever. And I think Oh, that's really cute. I should buy it. No, I'm not gonna buy it. I don't know, I don't need it. You know, whenever I go home, if I think about it, and think about it and think about it, that's when I go back and buy it. Okay, same thing with an opportunity in my life. Because I didn't just jump right into all of these things. I didn't just say like, Heck yeah, I'm jumping in with two feet. The very first time I thought about it, it took thought and but when that thought keeps creeping back in your head and back in your head and back in your head, and that's probably eminent and I don't know this for sure. But I mean, that's the way I feel like things happen for you. That corporate world just was like, knowing you and knowing that you gnawing at you. And that thought process in your head was just like, I need to make a change, I need to make a change, I need to make a change.

Nicoa Coach: 42:44

I think it took me six years, missy, six years before I finally listened to my body and listen to that voice in my head. But keep going. You're right. Yeah.

Missy Palmer: 42:55

Yeah. So you know that saying, you know, taking a hot minute and not totally like saying no to an opportunity. process it sit down, think about it, what can I do for my life? You know, where do I want to be in five years? You know, we do I do a lot of self reflection. And I do a lot of planning over the next one year, two years, five years. And I think about where do I want to be in five years? And where do I want to be in two years? And how do I get there, because if you don't do that life is gonna happen again, life is gonna happen. And two years and five years is going to come down. And then you're going to be like, I thought I'd be way further along than this, you know, but you have to make that conscious effort to say, yes, you have to make that conscious, conscious effort to say yes, to go into the gym. If you want to lose weight and be fit, you have to go to the gym, and you have to watch what you eat. I'm sorry, there's no other way to do it. There's no other way to do it. If you want to be financially stable in five years, you have to put things into place. Today, you have to move towards that goal. And there's so many people in this world who don't even go set. They just let again, let let life just happen to them. And they move through life as a React, they react to life instead of creating.

Nicoa Coach: 44:13

Exactly. There's a book I recommend to everybody. It's called Five, where do I want to be in five years by this guy named Dan ze Drusy, a dra. And I give it to all my clients. And I invite people to take one copy for themselves and for their another copy for their partner. And corporations do this all the time. What's our culture? What are our values? How will we measure success? What do we want to do in two years, four years, five years, just like you said, and they get out ahead of it? Well, we rarely to your point. Do that for ourselves in our own personal homes. So great book, great advice. And, you know, you keep talking about you know, nobody's coming to help you. I call that the most annoying or most liberating thing about Life, you are the common denominator of your life of your life by design. And you've been a grand example of that. I love this story today and it any last minute pieces of advice or words of wisdom for you before we wrap up?

Missy Palmer: 45:21

I you know, I mean, honestly, I just I just challenge people to say yes, that you know, the next opportunity say yes, there's, you know, do you ever see that movie called? Yes, man. I think it was. And it had

Nicoa Coach: 45:32

Yeah, He only says yes to every single.

Missy Palmer: 45:36

Yeah, He only says yes, to everything. And then he ends up like learning how to play the guitar. And then he saved somebody's life because he plays them a good song on the guitar, and the guy comes off the ledge, and then he finds love, and he does all these things happen, you know, because he said yes to all these opportunities. You know, clearly, people aren't gonna say yes to every opportunity that comes down their pipe, but picking those opportunities and saying yes to them and giving them a try. If you fail, you fail. I mean, you're you're just back at square one. You haven't? You haven't. And honestly, one of the things I can remember you saying to me one time after Fit Body Boot Camp, or when we were used to do that together. Oh, yeah. And, and it was after a session or something. I think we were talking about something and you looked at me and you said, what's the worst that's going to happen? Like, think about what's the worst is going to happen? And I was like, Well, I was wrong. I won't I won't fail. And I'll be right where I am right now. That's the word. Yeah. Well, okay. You know, so,

Nicoa Coach: 46:38

and then the next question after, what's the worst thing that's gonna happen? I usually say, Okay, and what's the likelihood of that happening? Because usually, it's not a great likelihood. So some woman the other day said, well, that'd be homeless on the side of the street living out of a box. And I said, Okay, well, what's the likelihood of that? And she's like, okay, not likely. Yeah. But it is as normal.

Missy Palmer: 46:59

And then the flip side of that is, what's the best it can happen? Yes. And a lot of people don't think about that they concentrate on the negative that it's not, and they don't think that the best thing is that happen is that I have extra income and that Joe and I are able to get our dream car, you know, we're able to get, you know, that's the best that can happen. Yeah, we're able to pay off our house and retire at the age of 55. You know, like, that's the best that can happen, you know, so why not strive for the best?

Nicoa Coach: 47:29

And I always add that last question. At the end, I always say, you know, I want this or something even better. And so the best that can happen, you may not even know because of those blinders. So you've really demonstrated that you can take those blinders off and just go for it. That whole body. Yes, that you're talking about. I commend you. I want to ask one last question before we wrap up. And I asked this to every one of my coaching clients at the end of our coaching sessions and I want to ask you, what is the one thing you want to celebrate the most about you and your life by design?

Missy Palmer: 48:03

Hmm. That's a tough one. You know, I just I want to celebrate the fact that that I'm aware that I'm aware of, of you know, I think there's there's so many people that aren't aware of what they want and where they want to go and do I have it all together? No, I don't have it all together. Do I always make the right decision? No, I don't make always make the right decision. But I am, I'm very, very clear on who I am. I need community I need I need people in my life. I need, you know, I need security. I need clarity, all of those things. And I work really, really hard to achieve those in my life. So that's yeah, that's what I would want to celebrate.

Nicoa Coach: 48:47

Well, I celebrate all of that for you about you. I celebrate our friendship and I celebrate you sharing your life story and your time with me today. So yes, thank you so much. People can follow you. Where should we send them to your Instagram or the green company site? What would you like to share today before we wrap up?

Missy Palmer: 49:06

Well, yes, you can follow me on Facebook or Instagram. It's just Missy POM. Missy Palmer Joplin on Facebook and Instagram is Joplin. Missy at Joplin. Missy on Facebook. I don't have a website or anything. I mean, I do have a website for products but I don't have like a personal website. But yeah, either of those. Or you know Nicoa can certainly pass off my personal information. I do not care. I am an I'm an open book. I'm gonna Yes, I will

Nicoa Coach: 49:34

put everything in the show notes so people can link in with you and learn more about green compass and the products that you're selling and and of course, you know if they need to have some endoscopy support,

Missy Palmer: 49:46

marches Colon Cancer Awareness Month, honestly. So I do need to have a plug in there because people say to me all the time, why would you want to be a gr nurse like what would you want to do? You know, like, why would anybody want to do that but we save lives every day and the screening He has changed to 45 used to be 50. It's now 45. So if you haven't gotten screened, you need to. Yes,

Nicoa Coach: 50:07

excellent. We happen to be talking towards the middle of March at the moment or almost the end of March. But you and I have a friend who passed away at a very unfortunate young age because of colon cancer. Julie Brown, and the Blue Ribbon run is coming up this weekend. And if you miss it, I don't know when this will air but if you don't get to participate in 2023, please sign up for the Blue Ribbon run in Wilmington, North Carolina and 2024 and morning, calling colon cancer awareness and our our friends family. So yes,

Missy Palmer: 50:41

absolutely. Yes. And helping to find a cure this this year's theme is mapping out a cure. Okay, so yeah, it's, it's, it's a great cause we've raised over $400,000 for colon cancer research. We found a grant at UNC Lineberger we keep money in our community. So it's a great cause. Yeah, if you miss it this year, you can catch it next year.

Nicoa Coach: 51:02

That's right. I'm really glad that we remembered to say that. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you, my friend. I love you. And I send you off and I will see you soon.

Unknown: 51:11

Okay. All right. Thanks for joining us for a caffeinated conversation. Subscribe to Coffee with Nicoa for more stories from people living a life by design. You can also find inspiration on Instagram. Just follow Coffee with Nicoa and check out our website Coffee with nicoa.com and that's Nicoa N I CoA. We look forward to talking with you soon. And enjoy your coffee between now and then