Espresso Shot 37: PEACE OVER PAIN

PEACE over PAIN? Well, coaching helps! How? As a complement or alternative to therapy, emphasizing its future-focused approach. Using the analogy of a snake bite, Nicoa highlights the importance of healing rather than obsessing over the cause of pain. Nicoa encourages self-coaching practices, such as journaling, YOU CAN DO THIS YOURSELF! Creating a LIFE BY DESIGN you have to identify and release past grudges, embrace YOUR joy, love, and satisfaction. There's power in rationalizing past events to move forward positively, promoting forgiveness for personal well-being and to create A LIFE BY DESIGN YOU WILL LOVE!

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Transcript

Nicoa Coach: 0:02

Sometimes don't you just need a quick moment of inspiration, or maybe you just need a moment of caffeinated contemplation to reflect on life. That's the idea behind my weekly Coffee with nicoa espresso shots. I'll be sharing short jolts of inspiration in each clip, in addition to my longer Coffee with nicoa interview episodes. Make sure to subscribe so you never miss an espresso shot or a full length Coffee with nicoa interview created just for you. Hey guys, it's nicoa. Welcome to your weekly espresso shot. Today I want to talk a little bit about the power of coaching and why it works so well, and why it's an excellent compliment to therapy and counseling, but it's also a standalone tool, a standalone powerful way to partner in order to move forward towards what you want more efficiently. Oftentimes, we spend a lot of time in therapy, and talk therapy in particular, and we just kind of hang out there, and we just keep talking about everything that went wrong and and a lot about our past, and yet, in coaching, we will acknowledge our past, but then we really want to talk about the future and how we can appreciate where we are, but co create some activities and things to move us towards the future. And I saw a really amazing post the other day that I wanted to share with you by this account called veridigm, V, E, R, O, D, I, G, M, I like following them. They're really good videos. But in this one particular video, they talked about the image of a snake, and they said, Imagine getting bitten by a snake, and instead of helping yourself recover from the poison from the snake's bite, you spend all your time chasing the snake and trying to figure out why it bit you. I think a lot about therapy. That way, we spend a lot of time thinking about why things happen to us in the past, instead of, in this case, if you go back to the snake analogy, instead of trying to figure out how to heal and remove the poison from the bite from the snake, and I really like the analogy, because you can chase that snake down, and you can tell everybody about the snake, and you can want to go kill the snake, or attack the snake, or prove to everybody how Bad the snake was, but you're not really focused on healing and removing the poison that's inside of you as a result of the bite. We often dwell on the source of our pain, right seeking validation or answers from those who hurt us. And that's really common. That's really normal. And sometimes we can do both side by side, which is important to remember that I can be healing and getting rid of the getting rid of the poison, but I also still might be carrying this judge. An element of the poison is still in me, because I'm still trying to chase down the snake or irrationalize or explain away the snake. I think the point of me sharing that analogy is that you know you can continue to hold on to that past, hold on to the anger, hold on to resentment. Or, you know, as they say, when you do that, you're you're just kind of poisoning yourself. You're drinking the poison the more you complain wine and vent about the past and things that have happened to you. Or you can figure out a way to shift into the future. Can you actually choose peace over the pain over the pain of that bite. Can you actually look inward to begin to heal the poison that got inside of you? Can you try to work on your growth versus sitting in grudges and you know who you are? I mean, those of you who have not quite let go of some things from your past, you know I can remember talking to someone a while back and saying, Well, Have you forgiven your ex? And they were like, No, I'm never going to forgive my ex. I'm never going to forgive them. And I'm like, Well, can you just engage with them and in a manner that forgives them for not knowing any better. And what I'm really referencing here is energy, leadership, level three, the rationalizer. And I remember the person saying, Well, that just sounds like you're rationalizing. I was like, Oh, I am. That's exactly right. Ding, ding, ding, rationalization. Because the longer I hold on to the resentment and maybe even thoughts of vengefulness, or, you know, even regret, then I'm actually still in a catabolic energetic state. That's going to erode me. It's going to take away from my mind share, take away from my physical well being. Anytime I'm in that catabolic level one victim or Level Two fighter energy, then I'm still holding on to that past in many ways, and at a minimum, ladies and gentlemen, shift into level three energy, the rationalizer, and you can begin to choose peace over pain, growth over grudges, and turn grief into gratitude and. Instead of chasing everybody down and trying to prove your past has some sort of, I don't know, rational reason that is still causing you to suffer, why don't we simply look back on that past and rationally forgive it for existing because it is no longer your current truth, and bringing yourself back into the moment like they say, holding on to anger is like drinking poison, expecting the other person to suffer and die and who's really suffering, forgive, not for them, but for yourself, and move forward. And coaching can help you do that. My goal is to help you learn how to coach yourself. So step back, be the observer of you today, and begin to ask yourself some of these journaling prompt questions, am I still holding on to something from the past? Am I still trying to prove something? Do I still have a vendetta? Is there something I need to let go of, to make space in my mind, share and make space in my body, so that I can be open to receive more joy and love, peace and satisfaction and let go of the past to move forward into my beautiful future. Coaching works. Thanks for listening. Make sure to subscribe so you never miss an espresso shot or a full length Coffee with nicoa interview created just for you. You.