S2 EP32: ANIKA PAVEL, Encounter With The Future

Annika Pavel, originally from Czechoslovakia, shares her extraordinary life journey with Nicoa. Starting as a refugee in England, she became a model and, wait for it, a JAMES Bond girl. Annika, now a grandmother, has written a book of personal essays and children's stories called ENCOUNTER WITH THE FUTURE. She emphasized the importance of travel and education, influenced by her mother. Annika's brother, a BBC and Voice of America journalist, faced perilous situations but continued his work. Annika's story highlights a LIFE BY DESIGN of resilience, adaptability, and the transformative power of real world experiences.

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Transcript

Nicoa Coach: 0:00

Music. Grab your coffee and join me nicoa For a caffeinated conversation about life. I'll be talking to people who have chosen to walk their own paths, and just like me, are creating a life by design. I hope it will give you the inspiration you need to do exactly the same. Hey everybody. We're at Coffee with nicoa. Me just trying to figure out how to say Annika pavel's name and Annika, welcome. Welcome. So glad to have you.

ANIKA PAVEL: 0:33

Thank you. I'm thrilled to be here, and thank you for having me, of

Nicoa Coach: 0:37

course. I mean, we want to find life by design role models out there, and you definitely are a unique example of someone who has come from a very unique upbringing, a very unique start in life, and has had some very exciting highlights and have come out on the other side of it. So let me give everybody a quick overview, and then we'll just see where this conversation takes. US Sound like a plan.

ANIKA PAVEL: 1:05

Sounds like a great plan?

Nicoa Coach: 1:08

Perfect. Well, Annika. Annika is actually from originally Czechoslovakia, now referred to as the Czech Republic, and her birth name was Jamila kochvarova, that's it, right? Excellent.

ANIKA PAVEL: 1:25

Well done.

Nicoa Coach: 1:27

Well done. But she goes by Annika, and she is also, not only had an exciting life, but she is an author, and we'll talk about her collection of essays today as well. She has this interesting experience that many of us in you know, those of us listening, the majority, are in a first world situation. Who can't even imagine the life that you've had. What was intended as a one year stay in England turned into her becoming a refugee with her parents. I might add, I read that that one story that you shared when the Soviet Union invaded her homeland. I mean, I love the little summary it says they the whole circumstance was extremely frightening and terrifying, and the ability to choose whether to go back into your country at that moment in time became life changing decision making. She received a crash course in life that took her from sleeping in a telephone booth at the Victoria railroad Railway Station in London to waitressing to the lights of the fashion runway and on to magazine covers. And ladies and gentlemen, we are actually speaking to a James Bond. Bond girl. She was in The Spy Who Loved Me 1977 and I am just telling you I have looked into her history, and I'm actually just She's like an American Dream story, even though she's not from America, but she came into America and has had lots of American experiences that it I can't wait to dive deeper into the fact that she created her own dream from nothing, although I wouldn't say nothing more of a strong values based foundation from her family. Her work has been published in print, online, and her book, and the name of your book again, tell us the name of your book.

ANIKA PAVEL: 3:23

It's called the encounter with a future. The

Nicoa Coach: 3:26

encounter with the future, which is a collection of essays that you've written about your

ANIKA PAVEL: 3:31

collection of personal essays which are not necessarily about me, it's about my family. And yeah, that's

Nicoa Coach: 3:41

I can't wait to read it. You actually were nominated for a Pushcart Prize, and I noticed that when I was doing my research that you have been published in a number of online locations. So everybody go look up Annika Pavel, P, A, V, E, L, and we will put all of her information, obviously, inside of the show notes. But let's dig deep into who you are and your life by design. Annika, tell us a little bit about who you are today, like what's life like for you right now in 2024

ANIKA PAVEL: 4:14

it's great. I'm having a time of my life. I have eight grandchildren, eight under eight, but now it's nine under eight, and so they I'm having a lot of fun with them, and I'm very close with my children. I'm very proud of my children. Don't get me started so and I'm doing now, finally, what I have always wanted to do, and that is right, I write, write, write, write, write, and I am. I've been very lucky that my work has been published. I have also, I also written a book that. I plan to publish afterwards, which is a fiction, and I also wrote a short stories for children about my little dog, Barney. And so life is great, really wonderful. I'm very busy. Boredom is a word I can't spell and and I'm enjoying my life.

Nicoa Coach: 5:23

Oh, that's beautiful. I'm so happy to hear that. And I'm not surprised at all. So you have how many children of your own? So you've got these nine grandchildren, how many of these kids? Three, three kids

ANIKA PAVEL: 5:34

of your own? Okay? Children of my own, two boys and a girl and and two of them had three children, and one has two, but it's threatening to have more. So,

Nicoa Coach: 5:46

oh, I hope so. I I'm my youngest is in her senior year at North Carolina State University, and it was bittersweet. Her first day of class. I thought, I hope somebody has grandchildren so they also go to NC State, because we're big State fans. I don't even know the generation today, the younger generation. I don't know how many grandbabies I'll end up with, because they don't seem to be birthing a lot of babies. But

ANIKA PAVEL: 6:13

I want to be like you. Yeah, I'm sure they will. They will mind you. I was giving up, believe me, they took they took their sweet time. They were not early. Early breeders. They, they go. They, all of them were over 30. Um, comfortably over 30, should I say? So don't give up. But I will tell you college. Yeah, college goes by so fast that you won't even know how quick

Nicoa Coach: 6:43

I bet, I bet. And it's already, you know, it's been a fast what do they say? The the moments last forever, but the years fly by, and that is, that's my truth for sure with these three so so tell me about this lifestyle that you're sitting in now. If you were to flashback, do you think your younger self would imagine that you would be sharing your current circumstances like this? Is all this family around you? Was that ever part of your young dreams about life?

ANIKA PAVEL: 7:15

I really have to say, I didn't really think that. Far you know, young people don't think of themselves as old. My dream was to really see the world, travel, write. I always wanted to be a writer. I have never for in million years, so that I would be a model, let alone been in movies. And so I'd never expected to live in a in America ever, and abroad, I was planning to come back, but, you know, the Soviet Union had a different idea, and that's why I'm Always very attuned of what's going on and so that it changed, but I was always able to adapt, and I never, I never viewed travel and living in different countries as negative to me. It was hard for the years, I could not go back home. That was hard because I was very close with my family, my parents, and that was very hard. But,

Nicoa Coach: 8:27

well, you took your first trip to England before the the invasion and all of the changes, so you were already beginning to launch your life. What were you? 1819,

ANIKA PAVEL: 8:41

when you I just I graduated from high school. I was 18, and believe me, at the time, nobody traveled out of Czechoslovakia, nobody and but I was always the type of person who believed I was a stubborn little girl, you know? And I was like, I don't care what they say, I am gonna try and and I did. And I was lucky, I will say that it wasn't through my perseverance. I was lucky that at the time, Alexander Dubcek was beginning to shape the country into different kind of a communism. He wanted to have a communism is a human face. And unbeknownst to me, things began to loosen up. And they did loosen up, and I was able to come out. And of course, the Soviets did not like it. And we know what happened in August, they they came in with a tanks and stopped it. So it was, it's really, in retrospect, I was exceedingly lucky, because we talk in six months period. And though, if I would have missed it, you know, it's, it's sometimes a fate. I. I went to school one year earlier. I graduated very early. When I graduated, I was only 17, and my mother always pushed me to go. She believed that I was able to manage. And I was young as of three, and so I went to school one year early. And I always thought if she didn't do that, I would not be here sitting talking to you,

Nicoa Coach: 10:26

that's right. And tell me the phrase you said. She used to always say that travel was the passport traveling, or what was

ANIKA PAVEL: 10:33

the University of life. That's what she always said. Travel is a university of life.

Nicoa Coach: 10:42

Yeah, beautiful. So that is a critical communication. I remember once sitting across from my father when I was in maybe middle school, maybe age 12 or 13, and I, we had never traveled outside of our state, here in the United States, in North Carolina, and I I had never the furthest I'd been was either the mountains, and maybe I don't even think I'd been to Florida yet. I think I just stayed in my state. And I leaned across and was talking to my father, and said, Do you think that I'll ever go to Europe? And he said to me, and I think this is like your mother validating your dreams and encouraging you, he said to me, and now he's he passed away two years ago. He never went to Europe. So keep that in mind, he never went to Europe. But he said to me, nicoa, not only will you go to Europe, you'll call me one day from the Swiss Alps skiing with your family. And I was like, oh, oh, okay. But it was that enthusiasm and that creation of a vision, and his response, even though he himself might have thought, Lord, I don't know if I'll ever leave the country. I don't know if I'll ever go to Europe, but he wanted me to believe that that was possible. And since that time, I've been to 30 countries. I did not ski in the Swiss Alps, but I did call my father with my family from the Italian Alps. Once

ANIKA PAVEL: 12:08

up is up, right?

Nicoa Coach: 12:11

That's right. And and your mom. It sounds like your mom and your father were both very supportive of you, and tell me about life in your family and how that shaped you.

ANIKA PAVEL: 12:21

They be a pretty close knit family. My mother always believed in books. She was She came from an extremely poor family, and they couldn't go to school in a winter time, and so she always gave us for every birthday, every Christmas, every name day, we got books, and most of the books were about travel, and she It's something she can never she could never do. And so she wanted to broaden our horizon my brothers as well, that she felt, she knew we couldn't travel, but she felt, if you read about it, you will, you will at least absorb some of the wisdom of the world. And so it was always very important. And so she believed in education as well. Both of my brothers went to college, but when the opportunity for me to come to go. She felt forget about college. You go in to get a University of life, you get it out there by yourself. And she even I was so young, and she just believed I can manage. And she pushed me out. Not that I needed much pushing, but she did. She didn't say, Oh, what are you talking about? You've got to go to college first. No, she said, just go, go. Oh,

Nicoa Coach: 13:51

I'm so glad she did, and I know you are. My mother did

ANIKA PAVEL: 13:55

that despite of the fact that she was diagnosed with cancer at the time, and she she wasn't going to stop. She wanted to make sure that I go and I did. And in fact, I do believe that being able to get my hands on a medication that was not available in Czechoslovakia, that I was able to maybe prolong her life. And I think she also had such a strong mind, and when it, when it became possible, when my life changed it, I was able to travel. And I was able to have had travel to England. Boy, nothing was gonna, you know, she used to say that pesky cancer is just not gonna stop me.

Nicoa Coach: 14:43

Oh, wow. So you were able to access medications and help her. So how much longer Was she with? You guys?

ANIKA PAVEL: 14:51

Well, she died. She was diagnosed when I was 18, and she died when I was. Was 3031,

Nicoa Coach: 15:02

oh, I'm so glad you were able to get the medication. Well, what a treat to have had access to travel so young. You had a pretty extreme experience, though. Would you like to share a little bit about your story about being in England? I find that almost shocking, I mean, and I really enjoyed your essay. I really enjoyed reading about it. Tell us a little bit about what it felt like to be 18 years old and in that boarding house, a boarding house with the experience that you had. Tell us that story.

ANIKA PAVEL: 16:26

I was supposed to be an au pair, which is taking care of children. However, the situation was different, which I really didn't care, as long as I was in England, and so the it was a boarding house. There were several lodges, and I was helping out. And the woman I was working for was was a wonderful person and had a huge influence, and stayed in my life until her death, and always pushed me. She was about was her brain child that, you know, I should go to, to different places and see and she, she always was there for me, but she, and she was really so ahead of her time, she always helped young women, and she she was really supposed to do a dermatologist treatment, but one girl got pregnant, and so she used to live in Rhodesia and Zimbabwe now, and she used to help women who had children who were dying of hunger and were pregnant, so she would like do early abortions. And so these girls came and they they asked and begged for help, but I was so naive and so stupid in that, in that respect that I have my mother and I never had the talk before I left, and so I just didn't get it. And so when eventually she had to go to prison, I was shocked. And I kind of was, was really homeless second time because I had to go to London, and suddenly, even that little home that I had in Ipswich, that house where I knew I could always stay when Soviet Union invaded Czechoslovakia, suddenly that was gone, and I had to go on my own and make my own way and work in a In an office of the solicitor who represented her. I stayed in YWCA for the first three months, and, you know, then they pushed me to enter the competition to become a model. And I was like, Well, I used to stand for my dad to fix the clothes on me. Maybe I can do it. Boy, I was in for surprise. It was totally different. And I was a real tomboy, and learned how to sit and how to walk. Wow, that was very different. So, so that's how I became a model.

Nicoa Coach: 19:04

Yes, I Well, I think a couple of things that I recall about your story too, is that you ended up getting this opportunity with the solicitor or a lawyer, for those of you in the United States who don't know what we're saying, but, but that that was because you had an interview, like a deposition that you had to do on behalf of the experience you you'd had with the woman from the boarding house. I find that fascinating.

ANIKA PAVEL: 19:30

Yeah, she tried to protect me, and she wanted to make sure that it was understood that, because I could have been implemented, because, you know, not that I was helping in any knowledgeable way, because I didn't. I, obviously, I wouldn't know, but I was there helping the girls and doing the small things, and she wanted to make sure that I was in no way marked with anything which was wonderful and and I had to go assign and there was this one particular girl that I knew because I was there, that she could not have done the procedure. And so there were certain details I had to go and sign. So we I protected her, but she really mostly wanted to protect me. Well,

Nicoa Coach: 20:19

it was so interesting to think about your path and how everything fell into place. And I would be curious, how did it feel to be you the night that you I read that you went to the appointment for the interview, or whatever, for the discussion with the lawyer, and they've kind of forgot about you, and they're like, Oh, can you just come back tomorrow? And that's when you had to spend the night in a phone booth. You must have been terrified. Were you afraid?

ANIKA PAVEL: 20:46

That was, that was when I was I. I mean, at the beginning when, I mean, that was like my heart sank right down to the floor, bang. And I didn't know what to do, so I just went around and I sat on a Piccadilly trying to figure out what I was going to do. And I knew I would have to probably spend my night somewhere. So I went to place where there would be always a lot of people. And train stations usually are places where there is always where they are always people, there is always certain amount of security. So I went, then I tried to get a place in YWCA, but everything was full, and what wasn't for I couldn't afford, so I ended up, you know, staying in the telephone booth. But, you know, I wasn't even tired in the morning. I was, you know, at 18, I was, like, full of energy, and I just suddenly, I was in London, and it invigorated me. Suddenly, I was like, I'm going to conquer this town. But I wasn't really, strangely, was not afraid, because i i I believed in myself. I knew that I was going to do something. I didn't know what, but I knew I could get a job, and I thought, I'll make it. Yeah,

Nicoa Coach: 22:09

the vibration that we exude in the world attracts what you know, we're sending out. So you had, you believed in yourself. You had some faith, right? You, you know, you believe that that everything was going to work out. You didn't know how you couldn't go back home because the fear, and tell us a little bit about that fear. So you and your parents were watching the news when you realized of the invasion and that, you know, and your brother calls and says, What do you want me to do? Dad? And dad says, Stay there. Just stay there. What was that like to not to have the conversations with your family? We can't go back home. I mean, this is where you become the refugee. And people, most people listening to this have no idea what that would feel like,

ANIKA PAVEL: 22:55

yes. Well, it was, you know, my father was older, and he, he tried to protect me, even at that time. And he, he knew that for me to go by because I was already gone for nine or eight months, and he was through the worst times of a communism, and so he was afraid that I would be then marked as a spy or something, and that so he wanted to make sure that nothing happens to me. And at the same time, he knew that he was not able to, you know, they my mother and he didn't speak English, and they didn't, he didn't want to, as he said, Put the albatross on my shoulders, because he knew that if my brother came suddenly, everybody would be on my shoulders, because I was there for A year, and I would really essentially have to become head of the family of five, although my brothers probably would have been okay, but they he knew that he and my mother would have been my responsibility, and he didn't want to do that. So he decided to go back, and he told my brother to stay. And my brother, who was at a time in Wales, he went back home too. So everybody went back, because they only went out for short time. And if anybody stayed, you know, it would have snowballed. So, you know, none of us could say, except me, because I still had a visa to that allowed me to stay longer, which was given to me during Nandu Czech times. But he he because he was skeptical and of the communists, he was afraid that if I do go back, and so he wanted to go back and fill it out and see how safe would have been for me to go back. And so I stayed another year and half, and then I write in a later essays about what happened when they suddenly issued I still had a visa, but they suddenly issued an order everybody must come home. By this time, I was away a year and a half, which made it even more frightening. And also by that time, I did not think I could live back there anymore under the regime that was much stronger. It was strangling people far more than before. And also when you don't know, you accept a lot of things, but once you do know, it's harder and and so my father wanted me, me to stay. So I had, you know, but at the time when they left. Left, and my brothers left, I only had myself to take care of, and so I just felt I can do it. I can do it.

Nicoa Coach: 26:00

How did you avoid going back? I mean, what were is that when you went and applied for being the model, and you were able to work your way away from that requirement to come back to the country?

ANIKA PAVEL: 26:14

No, no, I actually, I run a competition to be a model. And then in my book, there's another essay which explains, when they closed the border, I had, at the time, a boyfriend, and he married me so that I could stay. I didn't have to go. I would be legal in Czechoslovakia. I was legal in England, but I was if I didn't come back by the given date, I would have become illegal immigrant, and then my brothers would have suffered. They probably wouldn't have been able to get a job. My father would have suffered. He was about to retire, and so I knew I couldn't do it. And I that's one of the essays that actually one was in a was in a book of essays from around the world. Was one of the 15 essays from around the world in a book called stories through the ages, which is still on our internet. And there are some amazing stories. And that story was to what I went through at the time was really that was probably harder than when the Soviet Union made the Czechoslovakia. Well, it's in a different way, harder, you know, because I was at a point, do I sacrifice my family, or do I sacrifice myself? That really was a question,

Nicoa Coach: 27:42

and how did you come to your answer?

ANIKA PAVEL: 27:46

Well, the the third that what I did not I didn't think of the third possibility was that this boyfriend would offer to marry me, and so once I was married, I was legal. And then my parents didn't suffer, my brothers didn't suffer, I didn't suffer. And then that's what eventually, couple of years later, Visa paper were done. I was actually able to go home, and I'm forever grateful to my friend who did that amazing favor to me.

Nicoa Coach: 28:17

Oh, and how long so then you win this contest, tell us about this foray into this next phase of your life. Talk a little bit about that, and also, how long did you stay married to your friend? And were you able to? I mean, what a gift.

ANIKA PAVEL: 28:34

Well, I had married for three years, and then I, I it obviously, as you can well imagine, when somebody helps you with such a conundrum, I have fell in love with him, but he didn't. He wanted to. It just said, you know, no, no, no, no, no, no, this is not, this is not part of the arrangement. This is not a marriage. And so anyway, I got over that, and then after three years, when the time came, I was able to, I paid for the divorce, and I got we got divorced, and my only regret is that I have no idea where he is now, and we kind of completely lost touch. And so I would like to say thank you, so if he ever sees any of the podcasts, thank you, yes.

Nicoa Coach: 29:26

Thank you to your your good friend and generous friend, and good for him for saying, I can see how you might fall in love with me, because I'm amazing, and I was a good guy to you, but good for him for not, you know, I mean, that was a good boundary a long time. Yeah, your beautiful life that unfolded so you become a model, and then somehow you're a James Bond girl. I just love these photos. I'm going to try to pick one and share it when we post the podcast episode. Tell us about that life. What did it feel like in your life by design then,

ANIKA PAVEL: 30:03

well, I mean, modeling was really very exciting, and I suddenly was, you know, so my picture on a magazine covers. And, you know, it was like I was making a little name for myself, which was wonderful, and I was very proud. And then I started to do a little TV shows on for the for BBC and for ITV, and do a little small part. I did a lot of I did up around 100 commercials, TV commercials. So that was also fun. I would, you know, sometimes in a one break, I would have two commercials, you know, and so, so that was fine. And I was very happy with that. And and then, of course, I was cast for this small. Very small part for James Bond movie. However, we did a lot of promotion. You know, once you are born person, you are born person, everybody, it's, it's, it was the most wonderful experience in my life. Because, you know, they there are a lot of stories about, you know, bad blood about movies and stars, etc. I think that a born people are such a, it's such a, you know, you kind of a group, you like, part of, a part of this, you know, a group that, you know, like a book club or something, yeah,

Nicoa Coach: 31:24

like a club. It's like a special, you know, entry into this club that only a few people, yeah,

ANIKA PAVEL: 31:32

exactly, you know. And everybody was very friendly, and it was wonderful. And we did a lot of promotions, and we traveled together. We all laughed, and, you know. And it was, it was a nobody really did any air about themselves. It was, it was just wonderful experience. And I, I actually did meet Roger Moore in New York when he came to New York to celebrate the 50th anniversary of James Bond. And, you know, we, we reminiscing about the day we were spending time. And it was, it was wonderful. And just such a down to an earth person. You know there's now this, you know, middle aged woman, or more than middle aged woman, comes to me, said, Hi, do you remember fine with studios? And he goes, Oh, which movie in Italians? Oh, yes. And so we chatted about it, and it was wonderful.

Nicoa Coach: 32:26

That's so cool. You hanging out with Roger Moore. Of course, you are, of course, I love your life. So you when did you ultimately move to the United States? What was the life transition out of you know, you're in the movies, you're doing commercials. Why did that shift?

ANIKA PAVEL: 32:42

I met an American, of course,

Nicoa Coach: 32:45

it's an American man. Here he comes. That's right. I

ANIKA PAVEL: 32:49

met emperor in love is American in London. And then from there we went, actually following you probably went to Hong Kong. We lived there. And so one of I have, each one of my child was born in a different continent. My son was born in London, which is Europe. Then my second son was born in Hong Kong, which is Asia, and my daughter was born in New Jersey in America. Yes, I'm in each continent.

Nicoa Coach: 33:26

I love that so much. Wow. And so a lot of travel probably happened for your kids too.

ANIKA PAVEL: 33:32

Yes, absolutely. Yeah, we did. We also lived in Monte Carlo, and we lived in Boston, and so it's and, of course, this was all my mother's I every time we traveled, you know, I was thinking of her and and travel. And many times I said, travel really is a university of life. You learn to about other cultures, you learn about languages, you learn about people, you learn about food, you learn about tolerance, you it's just the most wonderful, spectacular experience that you cannot read about. You have to experience as you probably know yourself absolutely.

Nicoa Coach: 34:14

And I want my children to treat traveling across the globe as if they just called an Uber and they were going across town. And I remember my son, who has been to Japan three times. He's 27 now he speaks Japanese, and he just loves Japan. And he was in high school about to fail his French class, but he was teaching himself Japanese at the same time. And I was like, Oh my gosh, he just loves it. And so he, you know, one of the things I think about is the ability to expose yourself to the globe should be like you're exposing yourself to just something easy in your own town. So I told all three of them, my youngest went to Paris by herself for her 18th birthday as a birthday treat. And my friends were like, Why are you alone? She's going alone. I said, it's the safest time she has a phone. She can translate, she can do anything she needs. Don't be afraid to travel.

ANIKA PAVEL: 35:20

And then my mother, yes,

Nicoa Coach: 35:23

I mean, I want them to I mean, and when you said, Your mother came from meager beginnings, so did my father, he didn't have electricity until he was like six. They didn't have indoor plumbing. I mean, you said your parent, your mother, couldn't go to school because there was only one pair of shoes, or whatever they were. They couldn't get to school. Think about the LeapFrog of life changes that you. You created for your family, that my father created for it, that I'm creating, I love this, and the world should be globally accessible and not that big a deal. It's not that big a deal.

ANIKA PAVEL: 36:04

Yeah, absolutely. It's great. It's great to travel. Really is a university of life, because you learn so much, but so much and traveling alone. I mean, it's wonderful. I mean, you are you're just like my mother. You let your daughter goes at 18. So few people who probably understands why my mother let me go

Nicoa Coach: 36:27

absolutely understand and she knew that it would break you out of whatever cycle she had been in, and she had wanted it for herself as well. So what? She couldn't create that for herself at that stage. But what a gift you gave them to be able to let them visit you in England. So she did get to do some travel before her life path. You know when she passed? Yeah, that's so

ANIKA PAVEL: 36:49

good she did. She came to England, I think, three times, which

Nicoa Coach: 36:53

is fantastic. That's fantastic. You know, everybody listening, anything is possible. Anything that you can visualize and create in your mind's eye is possible to you. And one of the things that's beautiful about your essays is that you're telling those stories over and over again about circumstances evolving. Is there any particular story that you want to highlight and encourage people to go and get your book? Like, is there something a favorite at this or essay that you've written?

ANIKA PAVEL: 37:26

Well, I actually have two. One is the encounter with a future, which is essay that a book is named after, and that is about my it's an really incredible story how my father and I missed each other when he came from my 21st birthday in in in London, and how he remembered to get to Ipswich, where we I lived, when, when he was visiting me, and how he was helped by a Hungarian man who he had a fear when he was a child. Chicosaki, I was ruled by the Hungarian. He was beaten up because of his he didn't speak Slovak. He spoke Slovak, not Hungarian, and he had obvious animosity to and fear, animosity and fear towards Hungarians. And he learned that in the end, in London alone, it was Hungarian who helped him interesting, because that time there were no phones, there was just, I don't even, I don't even want to think of what would have happened if, if we didn't, if this, he wasn't able to Come to Ipswich. So that is a very important. Important essay I have written, and the other essay, oh, there's also funny essay that I wrote, which I think it's very short, but it's now, you see, just start me and I go, there was an essay I wrote about during covid. How we you know, my father used to hate the Russians so much, they're all of the people. And so they were always shortages. So toilet paper was one of those things that was always short of so we used to tear up the paper in our squares and, like, fold it up. And so my father, though, always used to keep the photographs of the Russians, of the Brezhnev. So I told the story during covid, when there was no toilet paper, and I can't believe this is it, you broke up the toilet. And I was like, Is that what you are here? So I thought that was a I love that story, and the other one not to forget, given the war in Ukraine, it's and what's going on, how the Putin is another president, how he takes people away. My brother worked for BBC, and BBC was telling people back home, you know, BBC World Service, and then he bought later for Voice of America. So it was always these places that they taught people in Slovakia, that's how we got our news from abroad. And then one day, he was hit by KGB car and left for dead, but he survived and and he when I told him, don't go back to work, he said, No, silence is not an option. And he went back and bought at BBC World Service, and then eventually went back to work. He came also when I came to America, he then applied to work in Voice of America, and he bought for Voice of America.

Unknown: 40:56

Wow. So

ANIKA PAVEL: 40:59

one, teaching story, one funny story, emotional and deep story, also teaching story.

Nicoa Coach: 41:06

Of course it is. And you know, silence isn't an option. I mean, it's a choice, and so it isn't, it's an option, but it's a it's a profound choice, and it was not an option, that's right, and I'm really proud of him for not being shut down. He did not let fear overcome his purpose, you know, right? Yeah, well, I'm, I'm glad he survived it. How is, has he still around, like, what? Yes, he's

ANIKA PAVEL: 41:37

still, yeah, he's retired. Now, you know, yeah, he retired. He actually went when, when, when a Cold War was over. Then he taught English to all the ambassadors who went to Slovakia. So he that was the end of at the end of his career, that's what he was doing. But then he retired, so he's retired and watch soccer now. Yes.

Nicoa Coach: 42:04

Well, I love that. Thank you for sharing those I do encourage people to go get your book. You know, back in 2016 or 2017 my first husband and I took two of our three children on a 62 day road trip through Eastern Europe, and we went to Bosnia, Herzegovina, we went to we went to Hungary, we went to Poland, we went to Slovakia. We went to Bratislava.

ANIKA PAVEL: 42:33

Brady, Slava, yeah, I'm from Slovakia. Actually, I'm from Slovak Republic, and my My hometown is about 30 minutes from Bratislava.

Nicoa Coach: 42:43

It was fascinating. It was kind of like in this day and age, or, I guess, you know, 2017 it was like a tech that was like Silicon Valley, and everything felt very American, like the restaurants, you know, not the not the buildings, but like you'd go into a restaurant, you're like, wow, I could be anywhere in a big city. And it was really fun. The children, my girls, they really liked it. But we also, my son stayed in Prague for a semester for school. You know, I've spent weekends in in Prague. I mean, being in that part of the world is just beautiful. It's just fascinating. And my kids, though, because we wanted to show them a world outside of America, and they said, if you take us to one more crimes against humanity museum. I mean, it was everywhere. I mean, people don't understand that. What your, your very brief reference to this time frame. I mean, your your family was afraid for their lives, and there were so many horrifying crimes. And what's happening in the in the Ukraine, people should get educated. So, you know, it doesn't mean you have to speak up and be a voice like your brother, but it does mean that if you don't understand your past, you can't help shape the future. And that's what that's why we took our children on that trip. We wanted them to see the extremes of the world. And, you know, understanding and learning about the aggression and and we were in her Bosnia, and the woman we met with was like, the kids aren't even still in the same classrooms. They can't, you know, there's still all sorts of prejudice and abuse. And we're really fortunate to be in the the circumstances we're in, even though a lot of people judge where we are, but it is a first world situation compared to a lot of what we saw. So

ANIKA PAVEL: 44:36

yeah, there's no comparison, no comparison, none.

Nicoa Coach: 44:41

So I'm sure that you have lots of philosophies that you've passed down to your children and your grandchildren. Are there? Are there things that you say to them? Because, you know, when you pull that toilet paper off the roll, how privileged you are. I mean, I I still think about that compared to my father's upbringing. When I walked to a bathroom, which bathroom shall I use? You know, my father had to leave the house. You know, which, right? So I'm like, I think about that legacy and that the freedom and the the privilege all the time. I'm I would be curious as to how you've passed down some of your beliefs and some of that remembrance to your own children.

ANIKA PAVEL: 45:26

Well, I've always been very strict about, for example, the food, you know, if they started to be fussy, I would say, you know, there are children in a world that are starving and do not live. You know, I have always tried to make sure that the children have the healthiest and food. And I would pay a. Little bit more thought to get the best. But, boy, they were not allowed to leave anything, not not a morsel. So I think that I hoped, and I also took them home. I hope that they have a view and and have a tolerance. And I hope I taught them that, and if I did, and just to make them to teach them how to understand differences, then I would be very happy.

Nicoa Coach: 46:23

I'm sure you have, I'm sure you have just you being you is a beautiful role model and experience, you know, for someone to have heard your story, and I'm just so grateful you shared a little bit of your story with us today, I want to ask, what does it feel like to be you with that story as your foundation? You

ANIKA PAVEL: 46:44

know, I never really thought about it, and I it's interesting, because I would tell my kids a story, but it wasn't until people started to read my book, and I heard them say, wow, you know, you had an amazing life and wow, what you went through when you are in it. You really just get on with it. You don't really think about it. I think that people who have a hard time or who who may not succeed, that cannot overcome the problems. If they dwell on it, especially you, it's no good dwelling on it even after. But if you dwell on it when you are in a situation, then you just see the negatives and what can go wrong? I never really thought about, oh my goodness, if I do this, what can go wrong? I think about, if I do the other way, then, oh wow, look at that wonderful result I'm going to have. And I actually never thought of myself as being my life being very interested in, which is why I first started to write fiction. Because I didn't think it was just when my kids started to say, Mom, you were always storyteller. Why don't you just write? And also to it's harder to publish a book, it's easier to publish a short story. So I decided, Okay, I will write a short story, see how that goes. But I have really, my heart was in, in that s, in my in my first book that is still lying unpublished, but eventually I'll get there. But so I never, never thought of myself as my life been interesting. And every time I put cap, you say, Wow, your life was so interesting,

Nicoa Coach: 48:34

absolutely, and you're still young, you have a big life ahead of you. Still tell us what's next for you in your life, by design, what are you dreaming about? Well,

ANIKA PAVEL: 48:43

I mean, as I said, I already written a fiction book. And I have also wrote a now I have grandchildren. I have I wrote nine little books of shorts, little little children's book about my dog. I had this cutest little dog. So I wrote a Barney story, nine of them. And so that's what I have, and I still want to travel. I have traveled all over the place, but believe it or not, I have never been to Australia, and that's my that's what I was in 19 next year. That is what I want to do January or maybe even this year. But I'm so busy with the book that I was going to go in November or October, to Australia, but I don't see that happening now, because I'm very busy, and I feel like, you know now that I'm doing it, might as well take it to the end. I I'm I'm a person who always finishes what start, even when I halfway through realize I still finish it. You still finish it, yeah. So I think maybe January, I would like to go. I have a lot of friends in in in Australia that I have met in London, I have met in Hong Kong, and I'm really and I kept in touch. So I really it's time I went to Aussie land. And they came. Many of them came to visit me in New York and in in London. So I really have to go. You have to that's on my bucket, that

Nicoa Coach: 50:18

is on your bucket list. And I can't wait to see the children's books published. And you know, the first country I ever went to, by the way, learning that I could leave my small state, was Australia. I lived in Australia for a year, actually, wow, yeah, you're gonna love it. It's great.

ANIKA PAVEL: 50:36

I know I will love it. I know I will love it. I can't wait to go. I

Nicoa Coach: 50:41

can't wait to hear all about your trip. And you know you're so beautiful, I highly encourage you to pick up that modeling. Gig again. I mean the women in our sweet age, in our third, you know, our third and fourth quarters of life, I think that you would absolutely be picked up as a model. You're absolutely gorgeous. Well,

ANIKA PAVEL: 51:04

I don't know about that.

Nicoa Coach: 51:07

Well, I'll stick

ANIKA PAVEL: 51:09

to being a grandmother and mother and my writing, you know, my heart is not in writing, you know. And

Nicoa Coach: 51:16

you are a beautiful author, and I am excited to have had you on the podcast today. Anything you want to share with us? Anything else? Where can we find you? What would you like to share with our audience today?

ANIKA PAVEL: 51:28

Well, I'm on Instagram and I'm also on Facebook, and I have a website where which makes it very easy for people to get to the book. And that is www.anikapavel.com, okay, and so Anika Pavel is one word. So that's my website, and it's set up in a way that's very easy to get into my book, to get a bit so I hope people read it. It's, it's, it's a little bit of a history of the country, a little bit of a present. It's a little bit of a humor, a little bit of a sadness, little tears and little bit of a history of America. I write also about how my aunt, my father's sister, came to America, and which was a really very interesting story, just if you want, just very quickly, it's she was engaged to when people used to go from Europe to America. They the parents usually engage them or got married to a boy they knew. So she was very young, and so she was in the parents made sure that she was engaged to the boy from the village. And so she went up there, and she so on a boat, they made another couple from the village who they didn't know before, but because they could speak the language, they all got together. Well, love blossomed on the ocean, except the two engaged couples switched. So both of them were very happy. And my aunt was married to my uncle forever until the rest of until she died, and so, and um, and I have this wonderful, wonderful cousin here, cousins here, two cousins, a boy, you know, a man and a woman. I'm no longer a girl and a boy, yeah, and so, and we keep in touch. And it's spectacular. It's wonderful. That's a beautiful

Nicoa Coach: 53:28

love story. I love that so much. I think I like him a little better.

ANIKA PAVEL: 53:34

That's it. And, you know,

Nicoa Coach: 53:39

I call that love by design, love by design,

ANIKA PAVEL: 53:42

by design. You know, it's what happens on the ocean, right? That's

Nicoa Coach: 53:46

right, I love the ocean. Well, last question for you, I like to ask all of my guests the following question, which is, what do you want to celebrate the most about your life by design?

ANIKA PAVEL: 54:00

What do I want to celebrate? I would like to celebrate, obviously, my children and my grandchildren. But I think my book, my writing, I think my writing is what I would like to be remembered by, more than anything else. Oh,

Nicoa Coach: 54:19

I know you will be. You know, my mother's 84 and she just has relocated to an independent living situation about four months ago, and just last two weeks ago, she joined a writing group, and she is so in love with it, and she has dementia. And she came across a journal the other day, and she was being sad, and the journal, she was kind of praying, and the journal fell flat on the desk. She had it leaned up and it fell flat, and she opened the journal and started reading, and was reminded of so many elements of her life that she had forgotten, and it was just a gift to her. And I am so pleased when people choose to write their stories, not that you're gonna forget one day, but the gift, not only to your children and grandchildren, but it turns out it might be a gift to you one day as well. And I'm just so grateful. Yeah, so thank you for sharing that. I think you're a phenomenal person, and I'm really glad to have met you today. Thank you. Thank you for being on coffee with nicoa, and we will be in touch, and I will put all of your beautiful information and a link to the book in our podcast notes. So any last parting words before we wrap up, thank

ANIKA PAVEL: 55:42

you. I have suddenly enjoyed myself. You know, these things can be frightening, but with you, I had a book. Oh, I had a great time, and keep going. Oh,

Nicoa Coach: 55:52

yes, we'll both keep going. I'll keep podcasting. You keep writing, and everyone will benefit. Yes,

ANIKA PAVEL: 55:58

wonderful.

Nicoa Coach: 55:59

All right, my friend, thank you again, and I will be in touch. Great. Take care.

Unknown: 56:07

Thanks for joining us for a caffeinated conversation. Subscribe to Coffee with nicoa for more stories from people living a life by design. You can also find inspiration on Instagram. Just follow Coffee with nicoa and check out our website, coffeewithnicoa.com and that's nicoa, n, i, c, O, A, we look forward to talking with you soon, and enjoy your coffee between now and then you.