S2 EP27: CHRISTOPHER GOFF, A YEAR LATER

WELCOME BACK Christopher Goff! It's been a year since Nicoa interviewed Chris on the podcast and they promised they'd meet up again! Join in as they discuss even MORE LIFE BY DESIGN insights! They share their experiences with making life changes in the past year, prioritizing conscious self-awareness and self-care along the way, and the importance of recognizing plateaus as personal growth!

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Websites:  www.salescompguy.com & growthmakerlab.com
Email:  Christopher@salescompguy.com
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All of Chris's books can be found on Amazon at: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Christopher-Goff/author/B09ZGWJMYP 

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Transcript

Nicoa Coach: 0:00

Music. Grab your coffee and join me nicoa For a caffeinated conversation about life. I'll be talking to people who have chosen to walk their own paths, and just like me, are creating a life by design. I hope it will give you the inspiration you need to do exactly the same. Hey, Christopher Goff, Good morning.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 0:26

Hello,

Nicoa Coach: 0:28

you got, you got your decaf coffee with you this morning.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 0:31

I do.

Nicoa Coach: 0:32

I do. And you know, I didn't go decaf, even though you gave all that nice advice.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 0:36

I mean, you can do a double shot decaf.

Nicoa Coach: 0:40

I could. But why, Chris, this is why

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 0:45

do you really want to

Nicoa Coach: 0:47

know? No, I don't. Please don't educate me. I was putting on some perfume the other day, and I had just gotten off a call with someone that was talking about, you know, organics and how perfumes are like these endocrine interrupters. And I was like, Yeah, I know, God smells so good, it's really hard to make change. I think, you know, that's what we should talk about today, the challenges of really making the life changes that you and I talked about before and and everybody, just as a reminder, if, if you haven't already, go back to season one, episode 25 our friend Chris Goff, here is the sales comp guy. And by the way, I'm gonna interrupt there is a fox walking through my front yard right now. Oh, very cool. It's not the first time I've seen her. Total interruption. My my editor will be like, Nicola, but I had to tell you, there's a fox,

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 1:49

yes, squirrel moment.

Nicoa Coach: 1:52

Okay, everybody's getting used to me having this nice little ADHD state. Well,

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 1:57

I don't know if you've seen this on Instagram, they have this like, it's like AC DC, and it's and instead, it's, instead of being ACDC, they do ADHD, and it was highway to squirrel, that's what it that's what it was. And I thought, hey, you might like that sticker. I

Nicoa Coach: 2:14

need that sticker. It is so me and I've never been diagnosed, so I don't want to in any way imply that I know what I'm talking about. But

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 2:23

there are lots of distractions in the world, and I feel like there are more coming. So it's not an unusual thing that you respond to the distractions that are presented to you,

Nicoa Coach: 2:33

and sometimes the distraction for me is mindfulness, like, How can I not interrupt that and tell you that there's a fox in my front yard?

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 2:44

You know, I actually agree with you. I mean, I remember we had a fox for a while and and for whatever reason, that Fox, like followed us from time to time, just very, very curious. We would go on a walk with the dog, Gracie and and, and it would just be, like, very respectful in that, like, you know, 30 yards away or something like that. But it would just very much, like curious, and it was like a member of the family for a while, like, no joke. So I agree,

Nicoa Coach: 3:16

yeah. I mean, we're all integrated, and we're in, we're in their neighborhood. I mean, they were probably here first, indeed. Well, I re listened to our episode before reconnecting today, I was telling you, right before we started, we did a nice job. It was a great episode. I'm all about celebrating right? So I'm really proud of you and me. And again, that was only like, you know, four months into me doing the podcast and and sometimes I am my biggest critic and really tough on myself and trying to make changes in life. You know, I want to talk about that today, like, how do we How have you been with your life by design over the past year. I mean, this will probably air in the August time frame, so it will be two years or one year since we talked. You had so much going on. Tell me a little bit about what you've been doing.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 4:14

Absolutely, absolutely. Some things don't change. Well, plenty, plenty going on. You know, it's been interesting, because I, I've thought about that recently as well. So it feels like prime time on the ability to to cover the top the topic at hand, you know? So what's interesting is, is, for those that aren't aware, I went through an an episode of significant weight loss, losing over 130 pounds, you know, and and in the last year and a half or so, I've been pretty much the same place. So the desire is to continue that progression downward, but the stall, as it might be called. Called is also something that I've recognized as a needed learning cycle. May perhaps it's putting a good spin on something to be dissatisfied with, but it's also something to recognize that apparently, is a place that I needed to sit for a specific period of time on this journey and the notion of change. I kind of jokingly brought it up with somebody the other day. I said, for some reason I feel like I've learned amazing things, and then quick, like, somewhere lose it all, like I forget everything that I've learned, all of the things where I was like, Okay, we're making really good progress, feeling good, feeling the change being in a great mindset, emotional framework, that it disappears like, what happened to it? Where did it go? What? What was it that made me forget everything, to then recognize, I don't know how many ever, months later, they'd be like, Wait, why? What? What happened? Where did that go? Okay, apparently I needed a needed that phase, for

Nicoa Coach: 6:08

sure. And Chris, just as everybody knows, so you were over 400 pounds at one point, and you dropped a shit ton of weight. And I'm just so impressed with your transformation. But you also then say, I still have this goal. You know, you wanted to get down under 200 and all this. And I think it's profound that you're talking about this little stall. You're not the only one stalling 2024. Has been a tough year. A lot of people actually are comparing it to 2020. A massive life changes, major planetary realignments, eclipses. I mean, like all the impact of Mother Earth and, you know, just a lot going on socially, things being brought to the surface, but the stall. Yeah, I'm, I am right there with you. I want you to know when I re listened to our episode, I was like, Oh, my God, such a good reminder, because I feel like I'm kind of in a reset. And so this is good timing, because I thought, oh yeah, I needed to be reminded of all those great things that you know. Chris and I already know how to do we already know how to do this shit. We know how to apply it. We know how to observe ourselves. So tell me more about what's been going on with the stall and your own self reflection during

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 7:26

that so I would say that I'm still learning it, and it may come out live as it relates to the kind of needed reflection I through this phase, I feel like I shared with the world what it was that that happened in my journey right of weight loss, and at a certain shift, there was also a openness and welcoming to the like, Okay, let's get back out in the world And then go and experience all of the things that I don't think I really separated myself from, let's, let's say, like, from a consumption perspective, predominantly food, right? But,

Nicoa Coach: 8:14

but there was like, a pause, you mean, like, a like, you kind of held back until you were ready. Like, right? You know, I'll do that when, yeah, I have that, I get that.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 8:24

And I think diets, diets have a tendency to to be problematic for that. In that regard, that if you've, if you go into it with a sentiment of, I am, I am creating a temporary deficiency that will then be something I can get back into or overcome or, or then, then managing control, yeah, yeah. And if those, and if the you, if you have it from that sentiment, then it's, it ends up being unsuccessful, because you have this sort of psychological need to overcome whatever it was that you perceived as a deficiency that you created, right artificially? And so I feel like I had a little bit of that, but I didn't. I kind of wanted to let myself simply be and so that meant if I can have anything I want at any point in time, and I think very successfully, that has been the case. And in fact, now that's been like two years. And so I'm living in a place that is that is a little heavier than I would like to be, but I think I don't have the as much negativity associated with with surrounding or what it is that that I live in, in terms of my body, I feel like I had a significant amount of disgruntled sentiment related to like the I would sit, and this is, this is times where I remember being over 400 pounds. Was was we? There was an episode where I was doing a meditation, and one of the first things was, Okay. Now. Out now, sort of sit comfortably, and I genuinely felt all of this angst because I couldn't do the simple first thing. I didn't feel comfortable. And that sort of ruined that, that whole sort of cycle. But there was a recognition that goes into that, that it's, it's really the more of what you bring. And so I feel like the learning was being able to be okay, because everything simply is, it's the what we bring to it that is so much of the the problem. Hey, it's me. I'm the problem, right? That's really it like, when it all comes down to it, the world simply is everything around us is neither good nor bad, but it's the, you know, thinking makes it so. That's it's the what do we choose to show up as? And I feel like that's probably the the learning that I have, and I'm there's strength in that, and then it goes away, and then I need to, like, refine it. It's kind of like finding it and it disappearing again from time to time, the disappearing, reappearing act, that is the magic, I think, of change.

Nicoa Coach: 11:59

So you're in this self observation, and you're judging the circumstance as good or bad, and so you're just using the I can't, I can't even sit comfortably. Oh, my God, I'm trying to do the freaking meditation, and the first thing they ask me to do, I can't even do it. So, you know, you're talking about everybody. Everybody is in this self disparagement stage at some point, or throughout the day, or often throughout the day, and a lot of people tend to, you know, we have this negativity bias, right? That causes us to look for what's wrong, to stay alive and stay safe. But I there's so many thoughts I have right now about your description, because I think let's fast forward to the end. Let's just fast forward for a second. So the end here is, in my perspective, unconditional self love. Unconditional self love. You know, everybody, write the word down. Unconditional. What does that mean? Give me a second. Write it down. Yeah, write that down, yeah. Hold on. Let me do that too. Unconditional. There are no conditions in which I am required to love my body, love myself. There are no conditions. Can I be in love with me even when I'm 400 pounds and I can't sit comfortably? And yes, we can accept it. But what I would let's play with this for a minute, Chris, it is separate from you. Oh, this body causes me to feel uncomfortable, damn it, you know, so it's still separate, and when we can it sounds like you in the stall. It wasn't a stall, a stall for what? Yeah, in the in the time and space where you were no longer striving intentionally toward a goal, and you gave yourself permission to sit and be right. That was your definition of a stall. When I gave myself permission to sit and be and exist. What did I make that mean? Could I love myself unconditionally in that moment, or did I always carry a story over here right behind my head? Here's I put my hand behind me that said, Okay, well, you can do this for a hot minute, but I assume we're gonna need to get back up on the treadmill. I don't know what are you thinking. I

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 14:24

love how you I love how you categorize that, because you're absolutely right. It is the act of simply being in a different moment, right? Did have judgment attached to it? Right? The that, and that's where we I think we all get ourselves into problems, right? Like, hey, you know what? Maybe actually doing nothing is perfectly okay. It might be it's okay to, like, watch TV or be a couch potato for a moment or a lifetime, even if it's whatever it is, it just is, and being simply mean is okay. There is nothing wrong with simply being. And I think that is a challenge for for for some of us that are constantly expecting many, many things from a productivity or output perspective, to be okay with the act of not doing

Nicoa Coach: 15:25

that's right, the act of being we are not human doings. We are human beings. And what I really liked about our first conversation was all of the recommendations and your your practices. I mean, we're not saying everybody to stop doing we're saying, Can you do some of the practices that you've put in place for, especially during covid You were. Contacting two people a day. You were reaching out to people. You were reading self help books. You were you were trying to find the the gyms in self help and self awareness and self improvement, and those are admirable. And your way of being in that process was enthusiastic and curious and excited, but sometimes we have to go through that process of enthusiasm and excitement. I've got this, and I can do anything, and I'm going to call these people, and I'm going to make this happen. And you know, I'm talking to me too, life by design, and I love mine, and you can love yours too. Just do all these fun things, and then, I don't know about you, but I got born out. I got a little exhausted, and I'd already gotten exhausted the first round of the first 20 years of living everybody else's expectations. And I thought, well, I'll live my expectations, and you were doing the same, you know. Okay, I'm gonna write these books and I'm gonna make a difference. And I don't know about y'all, but I just want to watch some TV and eat pizza.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 16:55

Yeah, right. There is a lot to that. I definitely, I definitely started watching more television. I'm kind of thinking at this moment that is not edited edited out, right?

Nicoa Coach: 17:12

It's not edited out. Oh, okay, I'll send you the picture. Okay, keep going. What

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 17:16

were you saying? Fox citing. Once again,

Nicoa Coach: 17:19

I have to look up the spiritual meaning again. Okay, go ahead. Is

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 17:22

it a red fox or gray fox? Red Fox. Nice. Oh, yeah, pretty. I what I noticed is I kind of needed to introduce more downtime, and I did kind of put that as, like more travel time, and more truly, like non working, non and and whoops, my wife and I started watching more television.

Nicoa Coach: 17:50

What was the kicker like? Was there a moment? Was there a fatigue? Was there an emotion that came up more frequently than it had in the past that caused you to make this decision? Or did you just, in retrospect, recognize that you're you naturally went to this new way of being? I feel

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 18:06

like I naturally after having conversations about these types of things. More and more, my first earlier phase of life was this constant need to have to produce something like that I brought no value if I wasn't doing there was this sort of back of mind sentiment that was the case. And I did that and everything, like, I, I would do that from, uh, Okay, I gotta be multi focused. I gotta be doing whether that's work, and a lot of it was work, mind you, but it was also like, well, even if I'm at the gym or something, well, I gotta be feeding my brain at the same time. I can't just, like, listen to music, like, heaven forbid, like or I just watch, tell it like television while I'm walking on the treadmill or something. Can't do that. I got to do something else, because that's not good enough. And I know in the phases of the weight loss and in talking, because I have a an acupuncturist, and so I tend to talk a very sort of Buddhism, philosophical sentiments with him, because I because, why not? I try to get into, dig into that sort of thing. And there's that sentiment of, when it comes down to it, I was sort of like chasing value in some capacity to that, somehow I needed, I needed to do these things in order to justify my existence. And I do have this overarching sentiment that I would like to live a value, a life where the world is greater, because I existed about and there'd be, there be evidence of that that well extends beyond my temporary physical experience here, right? I do think that most of us have some of that, and I do, I do believe I've turned it down a little bit, not that it doesn't exist, right, but I feel like the volume is is a little less loud and and perhaps it's also because I've given myself some acknowledgement for the things that I have done. Yeah, and I think that's a little bit better off. And interestingly enough, I feel like I'm doing a lot more things without it feeling like it is a burden on on that sort of life experience. Interestingly enough, I can kind of fill you in on some of the other stuff that I've been I've been doing in last year.

Nicoa Coach: 20:34

Well, the natural, I mean, anyone with an underlying belief system that they are not enough. Yeah, the natural tendency is to prove their worth throughout their time or become Vic. Him to that belief and totally, totally the case. Yeah, and I'm right there with you, you know, you know, Hey dad, I got an A Hey big brother. Look how much I made last year. I remember interviewing my brother and telling him that story, and I told him how much I made one year, and I was so proud of it. And he looked at me and he said, Nikki, if that's important to you, then I'm happy for you. And it was the first time anyone had ever said something like that to me. And

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 21:20

how disappointing feeling in the moment, because you weren't conscious of it. I wasn't

Nicoa Coach: 21:24

conscious, and I was looking for him to go, Wow, you're so amazing. Look at you making all that money. Yep. And so this is a really important topic in today's society. It's time for the shift. And we've you and I've been trying to shift it for a decade, but, but we're trying to do it while we're doing it like we're we're running, we're slot as I said somebody the other day, I feel like I'm slogging through the mud. I'm just I'm trying to keep, you know, practicing all the things I've ever learned and and yet sometimes it still feels like I'm in the mud and I'm not quite where I thought I was going to be or where I want to be. But the truth is, being in the mud, if you allow yourself to stick it out and just take it one slow, muddy step at a time, you will be that Lotus that blooms out of it. And I think that's kind of the the intention of a life. We come down here on this earth, a soul comes into a body. I mean, you pick that body. You pick the body that was going to grow and shrink and grow and shrink, and now you're recognizing it's not about the body, it's about the heart and the soul. And you're like growing and shrinking the heart and the soul until maybe this soul expands to the point where you're blooming into this beautiful being that remembers that you were enough from the minute you began your existence, and this the journey is just to forget for a hot minute, and then we remember it again. So you and I are just remembering.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 23:01

Now, you're absolutely right. You know the I think it's Wayne. Wayne Dyer says, you know, we're infinite beings having temporary physical experience, and that is an important thing for me to to try to remember that don't get caught up so much in the in the like very minimal physical limitations that we're feeling, not that there are any right, it's the self induced ones that there

Nicoa Coach: 23:29

are no less let's be clear. There are human experiences that create emotional reactions and responses that are real. I mean, you talked a little bit about, you know, flying on the airplane and taking your vision into I would like to be comfortable, and the embarrassment of the seat belt extender. I was sitting next to a man the other day on an airplane, and he was surprised that he needed that seat belt extender. It was almost like he might not have been traveling for a while, and he sat down next to me in the middle seat, so he's already uncomfortable, right? He's a large man, and he goes to put the seat belt, and I see him pull it all the way. And he goes, Wow, it doesn't fit. And, and I felt your story, I felt for him. And I said, I said, Oh, she'll bring you seatbelt extender. We'll get her attention in a minute. I mean, I'm the caregiver. I'm like, Oh, let me make this man feel like, whatever. No big deal, dude. Yeah, no, yeah, problem. But I thought about you.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 24:30

Well, there is in it. There is a significant amount of embarrassment that goes along with there, and it is kind of public, right?

Nicoa Coach: 24:39

And it is and so I, I don't want to discount people's life experiences, but those are the opportunities to practice what you and I are talking about. We can say, Oh, whatever. I mean, I if, if he's embarrassed. I'm a human being over here, not being, not shaming him. I'm not embarrassed for him. I just cared for him, like, Oh, his body is different than mine. Let's help him be comfortable. And I wanted to appease any potential shame, embarrassment or discomfort that it was having, obviously. So if we can, if we can do that for each other, then why can't we do it for ourselves?

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 25:23

You're right, right? The the this, the more significant critic challenge that phrase, we, we, it's, it's interesting, because I always, I always think about this like, I have a, I have a whiteboard over here that has a bunch of goals that I want to achieve for the year, right? And there's always like, well, how can I be okay with simply being. And come find peace in in the is right? The is this of it all, yes, and, and then at the same time, be like, I got a very aggressive goals sheet for the year, right? And the things that I want to accomplish, and some of them, I think, are well justified in that the I want to bring these things into creation, right? And like so, bringing them into existence, into this, into this universe, this physical universe, I think, is of considerable value and and in kind of like living in that, I think is, is, is a bit of a challenge to try to figure out the How to, how to find that happy place in in the act of growth or expansion as well, you know, in the in the sort of natural, I think discomfort, in the unseen, um aspect that that is, is part of our growth experience here. Well,

Nicoa Coach: 26:45

isn't it? We have to come back to the emotion of it, because we're either contracting, okay, yes, but he has climbed the he has climbed the tree fort. He is up in the tree fort. Interesting. I'm not kidding you.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 27:03

Okay, so that's three.

Nicoa Coach: 27:05

That's three. Uh huh. All right, y'all, y'all know I'm all about signs and shit. Okay, so contracting or expanding. Let's bring it back to the body. The body is a big topic for so many reasons between you and me. So that big list of goals on the whiteboard, right? When I think about that, I think about all the things I want, I know I should be doing. Could be doing absolutely said I was going to do, and and then when I sometimes think, well, there's time I have all this time. There's this space I should be writing the the compliment, the complimentary journal for the book, like you did for your book, right? You know, the workbook I should be, I should, should, should. And then yet, my body, I don't feel it. I'm like, I just don't, I don't want to do it. I'm not. It feels forced, you know? And I'll go trial, do a I'll do something, and then I'm like, that just doesn't feel like flow. But I can remember times like when I wrote the journal. I wrote the my life by design journal. I was like, oh, so excited. It was flow, and it worked so well. And I know you know the difference, because you've been there too, trying to get things accomplished. So isn't that the flow and the excitement and the enthusiasm in my body feels relaxed and excited? Isn't that when I'm supposed to create? And yes, we have work, sometimes we have to do it because of deadlines and things like that, but when it comes to our creations, like especially entrepreneurs, shouldn't we not try to force things if it doesn't feel right in our bodies? What do you think

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 28:48

I'm torn on this one, because I feel like there's a certain amount of I need to introduce moments of discipline in order to unlock the channel of creativity, right? And some of that is, I think it's Steven Pressfield, sort of, sort of sentiments. And he's written a bunch of books for writers. And I think it's Legend of Bagger Vance. This is most well known one. And, and, you know, there is these, this sort of build up of the this is exactly why for like a writer, you kind of need to do the things every day. And what you'll find is that there's this like barrier, of of of pushback, right? Like, of of disgruntledness or aggression, or whatever of the like, I don't want to do these things and and then it seems like there's a a spot of like overcoming that. And as soon as soon as you get in the act of doing it gets easier. But there is that wall of the it's a whole lot easier to not do it at all. And I'm curious if that wall is actually put in place by us because of either fear or concern about rejection or putting ourselves in a point of vulnerability that, like, when it comes down to it, it only is a is a wall that inhibits us because of these, this other baggage that we carry, carry forward, of the fear. And I know, I think I might have shared that when I put the first book out where it was like, I didn't feel good about it going out there, because all of a sudden, like, shit got real, right? It was like vulnerability was like, high and this, like, I don't feel good about this. Yes, I created something great. I should be happy. Everybody would say, You should be happy, right? I'm not happy at all. Now, that's at least. Softened in over time. But I also know I have a book that's gonna be coming out in August and and another book that's gonna be coming out later in the fall, and I have like a dozen books in my mind written and all this sort of stuff. That's all stuff that come out. But I also know that from time to time, this book that's coming out in August is one that's been working on for a year and a half, and it's like it's been in like, thick, thick rough draft mode for a while, and it's sad. And then I had kind of squirrel moments of the, okay, I'm gonna work on this one. They're gonna this one. So I have like, four other ones that are, like, thoughts and moments, right? Because if, for whatever reason, I didn't feel like I and this, I think this is me personally. I think that I didn't feel that I was quite enough to be able to launch that next book. For some reason, I feel like it's a barrier that I've created. And I think this is true with our physical stuff, our physical realm too. And I mean this from like, a body perspective. It's like there's that as that, that fear, so, like in the gym, right? There's like the fear of being seen, you know, because we expect or desire ourselves to be, like, fully fluent in all of the things right before we even start, right? But at the same time pressure, yeah, right, but at the same time, it's not like we would, we would say, Oh, if an infant, infant is trying to walk, we wouldn't like, and they fall over. We wouldn't like, you know, laugh at them and say, Get up, dummy, right? Like, we wouldn't say something like that, because we would expect that that is the process of the learning on that how to do something. And it's, and it's like, different every time, like every time we act, it is something that is new in that moment. And

Nicoa Coach: 32:35

so how would you know how to do it? You've never done it before? Right?

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 32:38

Right, right. Like every book, every book for me, is is new. Like, sure I will, I will pull my thoughts and previous writings to a certain point, into the into the sentiment of what is used in the next book. But it's not the same thing, because my opinions have also evolved, even unbeknownst to me. They've evolved. Of course, they even realize it

Nicoa Coach: 33:02

and well, I like what you first said, though. I want to talk about how we are. We are creating the the barrier. Because the wall to finishing the accomplishment. If you can dissect that and go into the root cause of, well, why am, why doesn't it feel good to write right now? Or why have I kept that in, you know, deep draft mode for so long, right? So that's journaling work, that's self reflection, that's the self dialog, that's the therapy dialog, that's the coaching dialog. What is, what am I afraid of? And you said it in the first interview. You said, well, sometimes I was afraid of actually being successful. I think Marianne Williamson, or somebody says that too, but our greatest fear is, is actually being our best selves or something. I just butchered that quote. But

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 33:46

I think, I think there is something to be like showing showing up to the universe and being fearful of it being of you being sufficient, right? I'm

Nicoa Coach: 33:58

on the shelf that's brainwashed. I mean, that's bullshit brainwashing that says that you weren't sufficient and you don't know enough. And who do we think we are going out there starting podcasts and writing books. Yeah, you know, I hear you, man. I have that feeling when I re listen to our interview, like I said, I love to celebrate. But I was like, Damn, that was good, but I was surprised. I was like, wow, I was much better than I thought. I was

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 34:26

and, and, and every day you're much better than you give yourself credit

Nicoa Coach: 34:30

for for sure. And my friends tell me this too. I am a really bad self critic, and I I never really saw that. I didn't see it, but when I see it through other people's eyes, yeah, it helps me find more grace and compassion for myself. And it sounds like you you have learned to do that for yourself over the last year. Talk to me a little bit about these books that you're working on and and what's next in the career world, and how that, how this is influencing your career. And I swear to God, if that Fox doesn't leave my front yard,

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 35:06

that's number four.

Nicoa Coach: 35:07

He is. Hey, how you doing? He's right, just in the driveway staring at me. This is so fun, the fox episode. And no, we're not on Fox Fox.

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 35:20

Foxy Lady,

Unknown: 35:21

Foxy

Nicoa Coach: 35:22

Lady. There we go. So yeah, what are you working on? And how has all this self awareness influenced your career. And are you feeling better because you published a whole bunch of books now, I see you out there all the time, and I love your newsletter and everything just makes me feel like I have a solid resource, like you are the expert. So if you're in any way hesitating or still insecure, you should set that aside as well. Is my point. I. Yeah,

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 35:51

yes. So I am doing, let's see. So I think that was four books thus far. So I think when we when we last met, I think that's two new ones. I know I have two more this year. So the new, the latest book, which should be coming out in August, is hiring for sales. And so it's, it's a, it's a very clear guide on the whole process of, of interviewing, recruiting, onboarding, sales professionals. Because I believe that, you know, revenue is the lifeblood of an organization, and so most organizations have someone that's accountable for the pursuit of revenue. And so the need to to be able to empower a leader that that is not necessarily accustomed to or comfortable with the process of pulling in a salesperson, potentially for the first time or just irregularly, right? They just, they don't do this on a normal basis. And so leaders, leaders can really gain from some benefit of just simply having, like a handbook that can help them with how have

Nicoa Coach: 37:07

you integrated though your personal self transformation and self awareness. Like, are you incorporating consciousness into these books?

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 37:18

Perhaps unconsciously, yes,

Unknown: 37:20

perhaps,

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 37:22

yeah. I think that I've had people do the read the Advanced Reader Copy, and they said, it's like, you're reading it. I'm like, so, okay, so that's good, that's a good summary, right? That it's like, if you're hearing me in your head say those things, then, yeah, I think, I think I have incorporated myself into, into, into the book. A lot of it, a lot of it is, is kind of like a It's guidance on, hey, these are things that you need to do, but you know, you're going to be different. You're going to be unique. And, and this is, this is the guidance I'm providing you, and, and it's more it's going to be more of like questions and do your homework than it is going to that is going to be do this thing. Because I tend to believe that that most every organization is unique and different, and it's it what is best for them is going to be unique to them at that moment in time. And you, you know, like, then they change. You're talking

Nicoa Coach: 38:21

about coaching. You're coaching people because the goal is to help people help themselves. It's not to be advised. And that's the that's what my the my life by design journal is as well. It is a collection of prompts that I send to my executive clients, and I have sent over the last 15 years that I pulled some of the very favorite ones, some of the most powerful ones. Because if you can begin to have a dialog with yourself and notice the most significant critic, as you said. But also, what would the other phrase, the opposite phrase be, the most significant cheerleader, right? The most significant self leader, if you can really dissect that and say, Oh yeah, well, the critic would say. And there's value in the critic, and especially in the world of of employee employees, and, you know, corporate organizational design, and yes, of course, revenue is the heart of any organization you've got. There's no other point other than to make money and hopefully serve while you're doing it. But otherwise, why organizations coming together, right? So I think that you're right on with asking the questions. What are some of the questions that you're still asking yourself about your field of expertise that keeps you intrigued and excited to grow

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 39:48

Yeah, I think it's the kind of the prompt for some of my future writings as as well, where it's it's like questions about understanding and questions about actual like for for sales compensation, the the act of of whether or not, let's say salespeople are actually reading the document to is the language accessible? Because I think we get ourselves into this challenge related to legalese versus clarity. And ideally we would, we would have multiple like, hey, yeah, we need a legalese, but we also need something that helps people actually understand what it is that we're presumably trying to incentivize them to do right clarity related to that and and I believe that there's this, this, this sort of happy place where we can combine this, the clarity and. Purposeful work and alignment to being part of something greater than ourselves that can meet much of our desires, of the value of work, right? So, like we can get something out of the work that we do, if we can do a much better job of of aligning these, these sort of core principles of, of, well, total rewards, candidly. So I think, I think an interesting component is, I read a book by Alfie Kohn called punished by rewards. And he, he's in a sort of post behaviorist world. So post Skinner sort of sentiment that, you know, we have a real conflict here between encouraging people to act in a way in a long in the long run, and then, if, by throwing money at people and and and giving them rewards, what we tend to do is we break them. We actually, we actually create this environment that, yeah, in the short run, people respond rewards, but in the long run, they might, in fact, hate you for it, or it may, it may entirely remove the altruism associated with the action and those sorts of things, I think, are important To recognize that, that there is be more to the the compensation side. Yeah, I think is important, and that this is where I try to feed that it's comp is important, but it's not the most important thing. No, it's absolutely the the framework of the job, the way people can interact, the personal autonomy that they can maintain in the work, etc, etc, like, if we can connect them in a place, then we reward them appropriately for the being happy in the work that they're doing, rather than the let's throw a bunch of money at people in hopes that their coin operated enough to respond. And I feel like it's, it's a bit of order of operation, but it also, I tend to think it throws a bit of a punch in the face to those, those folks who really just see salespeople as as as those animated monkeys, right? And I'm, I know there's, like that, that word, but I'm looking, I think of the mechanical monkey, right,

Nicoa Coach: 43:13

right, right, right, animatrons. Yeah,

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 43:16

it's just not, I just think that's that's a different sentiment,

Nicoa Coach: 43:21

and it's driven the wrong behaviors. And corporations need to think about their metrics, or any organization, or even in your own family, what are your values? What are we holding ourselves accountable to? From a day to day behavioral perspective, you know why? When we just throw money, then we're driving behaviors? You know? This is why, when you think about energy leadership and the seven levels of energy, people are averaging out at about 3.2 on that seven point scale, and 3.2 that level three energy is the rationalizer. And the rationalizer says, Hey, man, I'm gonna win, and I hope you win sincerely, but I'm gonna win, and that means I will do anything I can to get around you, work over you, get to the outcome that, oh, by the way, my company just told me I had to get to in order to be financially rewarded, in order to keep my job so I can pay my mortgage and have this life by design that I so have gotten myself entangled in. And if they don't go to that altruistic element and that purpose driven, ultimately that salesperson they might win, but they're likely to either numb out the rest of their life at work or at home, or they will ultimately either quit or sabotage as a result of not actually finding the altruism and the purpose right in the midst of the pain of their endeavors as a money driven employee,

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 44:56

it is, it is an interesting sentiment of the the the sort of burnout through success, right? I am so very successful, and I've done amazing things to the point that I am so unhappy that I've

Nicoa Coach: 45:10

been there, and I'll never forget crying into that glass of wine that my husband handed me, and I remember thinking what the i i used to say to myself, well, I guess this is the cost of success, yeah, and it is a cost of one definition of success, right? So what does success mean to me? And we still got to keep coming back to these questions for ourselves. And you know you're powerfully influencing individuals that are it, you know, on the ground, right? You know they're in the trenches. You. You even posted the other day Bob Berg's work, a list of, you know, the Go Giver. He wrote the book, The Go Giver, absolutely. And that part about really, that authenticity and showing up unapologetically as yourself, the challenge with most people who have been in systematic, you know, you know, carrot, and, you know the carrot chasing the kit, what I'm not good with, yeah, the carrot, the stick. Those individuals ultimately burn out. So the challenge is, how do we get them back to that whole person? And the Go Giver really talks about, how do you do it in an alignment with you, not just serviced for service, the sake, yeah, I don't know. Thoughts about that. How do we get them back to that whole person?

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 46:41

It is interesting, the difficulty of separating the person that you believe you're supposed to be versus the person you are, and sort of the comfort of shedding that skin is, is a is a challenge, especially if, if we've been pretending for a very long time, what, what that, what that means, and

Nicoa Coach: 47:05

who do you think you are now, like, Who do you think You are?

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 47:09

You know, I do, I do really genuinely believe in the sort of like infinite creature who apparently selected physical challenges that were needing to be expressed or shared in order to find purpose. So I do believe my my longer term story, this is the part where I am now, is the I got all of these things related to the like my profession, and I kind of feel like I gotta, I gotta get through us, through and produce those books first and then be able to share the story of, like, my physical journey, and I've struggled personally, with the, yeah, you lost like 130 pounds, but you're still fat part, right? Like, where it's like, okay, well, what is that as a story to tell the people like, oh, yeah, great, yeah. But you're still, like, you're not done, right? And I think that's the part where, where the none of us ever are

Nicoa Coach: 48:14

that makes me really want to tell you to stop talking like I just want to go, stop. Just stop. You're not. You're not. There's no such thing as being done exactly,

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 48:25

exactly. I think, I think I appreciate that. Like we're all happy all the time, right? That's funny. I

Nicoa Coach: 48:31

just want to hug you and say, You're enough. You're enough, man, yeah,

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 48:35

I feel, I feel like I recognize that a bit more, but I know that I've gone through struggles because I kind of want to be able to write a story from the finish app, like on the other side of the finish line.

Nicoa Coach: 48:49

What if that's not the story? Well,

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 48:51

that's, that's the thing, right? Like, that's the thing. I have another story now that is related to the finding peace in in the jury, yeah, right. Like in the stagnant middle, you know what I mean. There is something to that of the how to, how to be okay with that and recognize that that is simply part of it. It is, it's, it's what's needed for you to appreciate the other side. It's like that. What in like runners will say, I don't know if that's like the 13th mile or something like that, right? Well, it's the, it's the phase in between that is that is very, very difficult in recognizing that you've already made it, because you're already doing it, but you have a little bit in front of you. But where do people quit most frequently, where it's in that that sort of phase that's right,

Nicoa Coach: 49:48

that in that discomfort, in that uncomfortable, I mean, God, just, I could talk about this all day long. This is just, you know, that I remember saying My grandmother was in the nursing home once when she was like in her late, mid, mid to late 90s. And I remember saying to my dad, oh my god, she lived her whole life and she's just laying in that bed. Oh my god, this is awful. And he said, Well, I hope she didn't live her whole life for that. And I was like, right? It just was a check again to say, This is it, this is the life you and me, right here, right now. This is it. We did it. We're here,

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 50:31

yeah, and I think it is the it is the sentiment that I don't have to show up in a particular way for anyone else. I'm just here to have certain experiences. But I but what I believe, though, is that my experience. Experiences are worth sharing. For

Nicoa Coach: 50:50

sure, your experiences are always worth sharing. In front of me, and your experiences are worth sharing, and so is the homeless guy on the corner, his experience is worth sharing. And the person who never left their house and just watches TV and drinks beer, their experience is worth sharing. So I think if we can get there and we can get we can give ourselves a break. I think the emotional state of this, I want to talk about this real quick. You mentioned this as well and in the previous interview, because you talked about joining a group to support you and you as a man, having historically not been very emotive, or articulating your emotions, we're all emotive, but not demonstratively, sharing your ability to become vulnerable in that group setting. I think that is powerful, and I want to share one thing personally, but then I'd like you to talk more about that, because I think especially our men today, are they, unless they're in a group setting, I think they can't do it by themselves. Yeah, and they and yes, they can do it with a with a coach or with a therapist, but I think they need each other. And I think women have historically had each other and chosen each other and leveraged each other, and we still do and it's hard for me actually to still leverage my girlfriends, because I had so much masculine energy that I was like, Oh, I have to do it by myself. I got this. I'm educated, but my own emotions have been the bigger. Self reflective. I mean, if you and I want to go back to the word stagnant or stall, which I still think we should X that, but I'm in a space now where I am not where I thought I was gonna be, and I'm I've had to forgive myself for having put so much pressure on myself for thinking being at a certain state was going to be the end all be all of my life Success like, oh, okay, I've done this now. I'm safe now, and my history is about feeling safe, feeling secure. You know, I'm protected. Yours might be. Who am I? I'm not enough. And blah, blah, blah, yeah, but the sitting in the vulnerability of those emotions and having them come up and flare up again in my life, where I didn't think they were gonna come back again, I thought I'd already dealt with that shit, right? Talk to me about your own vulnerability journey, and are you still leveraging that group and so much So, interestingly

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 53:26

enough, that group has disbanded. The business itself no longer exists, that that sort of supported, that there was an attempt to try to keep it going that has not been successful yet. So that is, that is a bit of a evolution, right? You know, people come into your life for different seasons, and that apparently served a season, and we'll see. We'll see what may come in the next season. Tune in to next season. Yeah, but I think that it was very difficult for me to be someone who I I would say I didn't grow up in an environment where we definitely spend a lot of time talking about our feelings, multi generationally, in my opinion, and that's, I don't think that's uncommon for a lot of for a lot of people, and certainly for men in general, there is, I believe, a sentiment of Self value that is related, and that's whether that's societal or we carry it forward, whatever that we there is an expectation of providing and showing up in a certain way that that was less emotive. It, as you said, demonstra relate, but as as just like I don't show as many feelings, because that is my partner's role in that particular case. That was like, I'm the strong one, right? I got to show up a certain way, and it's made up,

Nicoa Coach: 55:00

right? Man up, right? All the ways you were raised to think that you had to be. So how has that experience shifted you in your own emotional journey?

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 55:10

I feel like being able to talk about the things and allow myself to be vulnerable as it relates to just that I'm not where I want to be. You know, in that journey, right? Like that, these are things that I wanted to change. I wanted to improve myself. In it, a lot, a lot of it was related to my emotional resistance that, you know, I feel like I had a strength in the mindset sentiment, but I didn't have as a strength in the emotional sentiment of. Uh, kind of like, it's the combination of those two things that really need, need to get you to where you desire to be.

Nicoa Coach: 55:56

Can you give an example of when? Well, so, so tap in, yeah,

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 56:00

like, as an example, I can, I can be, I'm very, um, I would say, relatively optimistic, and I have this sentiment of possibility and everything. So, yeah, there's, there's, there's lots of opportunities to do these, to do anything that you desire, right? But then at the same time, there's never enough money, or there's never enough time, or there's never enough of

Nicoa Coach: 56:27

this, and there's a lack and emotion, yes, that the fear, the lack of abundance,

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 56:33

right? This creates this sort of sentiment of, well, what is it that I'm created? I'm creating as an environment for myself of the I believe I can achieve. So I put all of my time and effort into the work, and at the same time, I'm always pulling to myself an emotion that I'm it's not enough, and it's never enough, and it'll never be enough because, because I've created this emotional sentiment that that of of like this lack in this defense, and how

Nicoa Coach: 57:03

does that make you feel when you're in that lack? How does that make you

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 57:07

it feels like I'm working my ass off for nothing all the damn time. That's, that's, that's it, and then so you burn yourself out, ultimately, whether, whether that is you, like you said before, you kind of choose to, like exit the program, which, which, for men, we have an extremely high suicide rate that people are aware of. And that's, it's a sad reality, but that, I think does stem from the feelings of never, never fully feeling like your contribution is sufficient. Let's say you are enough, as you are with not with that without ever having to do anything. It's simply being is sufficient. And I think that there is some challenges that people are struggling with. And it's not like it's new. This is a long term high suicide rate as an example, and I think it is ultimately related to mental health and the emotional sentiments that are attached to that. Because I think when people talk about mental health, I do believe it's mostly emotional well being it

Nicoa Coach: 58:11

is, and you know, your description is the description of many, you know, and not just men, but a lot, and most men have been raised to say you have to be this in order to be worthy. Yeah, you know, my invitation as a coach and the work that I've done is to continue to dive deep into the the feelings, and that makes me feel scared, and that makes me feel sad, and that makes me feel disappointed in myself, and that makes me feel insecure, and just really labeling emotions. So even when I asked, how does that make you feel? You were like, Oh, it makes me feel frustrated that I can't do these things right. So it was more about the I can't get it out. I can't get enough like, so go even deeper into those layers. And not that you asked me to give you that advice, but I think that will help with with when I can understand my emotional state, then I can validate it, and I can have more compassion for myself and more grace. Yeah, and say, Well, no wonder I feel that way, right? Anyone having been raised the way I was raised with generation after generation of non emoters and non demonstrative love. You know, love giving. How can I be love?

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 59:30

Yeah, I think the exercise that I went into with that that group before, helped, helped at least dabble in the in the world that I was not necessarily comfortable and certainly not fluent in. Candidly, and so I think that that that helped when we talk about this, and I feel like I have it's softer, because one of the things that I tried to remove was stronger emotions in general, um, related to all of these things. I mean, that's, that's where a lot of my and this is where I kind of went, more of like down, down. My learnings were, were in a lot of more Buddhist sentiments of trying, trying to remove some of the Why does it hurt so much, right? Why am I putting so much energy into something that that creates that sort of reaction. So I do feel like I and I again, I said this before, like turning down the volume a little bit. I have gone through more of a practice of trying to to remove my the strength of the emotions I understand from from that now I suppose that might have turned down the volume. Him on the positive as well. But before, I never really had strong emotions either way. So so it felt like that was an easier path for me to kind of be like, Okay, I try to not overreact. I try not to have the negative emotions to, you know, the little things like, well, somebody cuts you off, right? It's the okay. What am I what really happened here for me to have a reaction to this? Mean, yeah, or do I mean, really hold on to it? Because I think that's the other part, is, that's right, there's

Nicoa Coach: 1:01:27

value, yeah, it's, it's

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 1:01:29

the like, it's okay if you have a reaction. But does it need to be something that ruins your day because of it? Does it need to be something that, why do you continue to like self flatulate Simply because somebody else did something to you? Like, Why are you punishing yourself with this? Those that, those sorts of things, I think are some of the learnings that I feel like I've I've taken from, from those exercises of of really getting into the emotions. And I think, I think men can benefit from the like, Okay, if what's acceptable, masculine emotional responses are generally negative. And so, I mean candidly, like when we talk about cultural sentiments, we kind of have these stereotypes. And if we think about those, they tend tend to be more violent and over and and bigger angry, that sort of thing. But it's also like, but why would you why would we want to penalize ourselves in a prolonged fashion for something that might be like, like, like, difficult or violent or or something like that. It's definitely a how do we how do we tone it back? How do we soften those, those reactions, if we can't do them in the immediate How can we do it so that you don't hold on to that? That's

Nicoa Coach: 1:02:49

right. I like to say it's not that we go there. It's how long do we stay there? And is it serving us, right? So, is it serving me to be angry right now? Is this getting me what I want in this interaction with the guy that just, how does it help? Yeah. How is this? How is my anger towards that guy that cut me off helping anybody? It's only creating cortisol in my body and sending, you know, like an EpiPen shot of stress hormones throughout my entire system which will ultimately create dis ease, right disease. So I hear you that was really, actually quite profound about talking about help, helping men who have historically been encouraged or validated for their extremes of negative emotion to then learn how to tamper or manage their emotional pendulum, and giving them at the same time, not only reigning in that extreme of maybe anger or frustration or negativity, but giving them access to sadness and love and tenderness to on the other end of this spectrum, I think you're you're talking about the first step, if I can become aware of My emotion, yeah, then I can decide how I want that energy to move me. So energy in motion is in the emotion, and we are all energy. So how would I like to take that energetic motion that's coming up through my body, and how would I like to leverage that in order to best serve me in this moment? And I would just invite those listening, male or female, to become friends with your emotion and just start having that conversation. What you

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 1:04:38

know it is. It is an interesting it is an interesting aspect, I think, to to investigate is, is the opportunity to recognize that an emotion may occur, but it doesn't, it doesn't define you. It simply happened, and recognize that, okay, give me a moment. And I think for a lot of people, it's the finding a couple of those tricks, right? Like, give me a moment. I need to get this out so that I can move beyond it and and recognize that. I can control it. I can recognize it, or I can sort of take it step, you know, from the side, and say, here's here's what it is that is happening. And how can I grow from this. How can I learn from this? How can I recognize that this is maybe not the person I want to show up as, but it's, but it's remove it. Remove that, that that is somehow you versus simply an episode of a reaction, yeah,

Nicoa Coach: 1:05:48

it's your on and. Nervous System, you are literally, physically, sometimes out of control of that. And once you begin to make friends with that version of your inside your body, you know, the cellular memory, then it's a lot easier to turn a reaction into a response. And you know, you're right. Can I look at it from the side? You know, can I stop and observe it. Yeah, and can I be kind to myself if I'd showed up in a way I didn't like? Can I be okay? Can I validate myself? Hey, anybody who made it mean that would have showed up yelling,

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 1:06:20

right? I mean, for and for men, I think it's difficult to say, you know, like, let's, let's talk about something that happened that you didn't you recognize now you didn't care for, right? Let's talk about like last time he yelled at your kids or something like that. Is that how you want them to remember you? Is that how you want to be seen? Is that how you um, do you think that that was fair? Do you think that was an appropriate reaction? So let's take a moment and and just investigate that, and it will give you enough of a pause the next time this would be to occur. But it's not intended to be critical. It's simply an awareness. And I think that's big. That's a big part of it, of the let's start with simply, simple attention, or awareness of what is, without trying to change it, without trying to be critical. I feel like that's where we start, and then we can build, build on that after there's a consciousness in place of of the of what's going on. It's

Nicoa Coach: 1:07:23

all about consciousness. And you just described the acronym that I like to use, which is, stop, oh, my God, that's number five. That would

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 1:07:35

be number five the fox loves this will be like, this will be like a drinking game. Now, Nicole, every

Nicoa Coach: 1:07:43

time you see a fox, I'd like you to drink caffeine. Last time it was every time we said the word consciousness. Okay, so the acronym I want to share with everybody, and I've shared it before, but I'll share it again, case you never heard it, which is to stop, take a big, deep breath. You're coming into the moment of what is like you said, observe Who am I in this moment? So we wear a dozen hats at a time. Just pick one. Who am I in this moment? Understand what matters most to me with that hat on, and then live the legacy I want to leave behind. So then that behavior I didn't have my conscious choice to then behave in an alignment to those values, to those standards, and that's stop, observe, understand and live soulful living is mindful living. And that's, that's what you described. I channeled that a long time ago, wrote a speech about, like a presentation about it, and I remember calling home and said, I'm going to be late. I'm I'm writing this. I can't stop writing this. And I had never even looked up the term mindfulness until that night. This was 14 years ago, sitting in my first office after I'd quit all scripts and mysis, and I was sitting there and I Googled mindfulness after I wrote the presentation, and I got, like, a billion hits, right? And I was like, Oh, I'm already talking about mindfulness, and I didn't even realize it, right? So I knew that I was channeling something, you know, something that needed to be reminded you

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 1:09:13

were a poet and you didn't even know it exactly type of thing, right? Like you and I. It is interesting how sometimes we think these things and like, Wow, awesome. And then you realize that, apparently there's, like a billion other people who have come to this point of understanding as well, which which is good, because you came to it independently, and so did so many of those people. But it's also kind of funny, because you're like, Oh, well, this isn't like novel and new in any form or fashion. I

Nicoa Coach: 1:09:41

don't think anything is. I think we're all just pulling it from the collective consciousness, and then we're just like our version, though, and I think this will be a nice way to put a bow on our conversation, because our version of what may be the exact same shit everybody else is talking about is unique, yeah, and that, my friend, is what makes you so worthy and so enough and so powerful, and I'm so grateful that you have spent time with me and are on my journey with me as a friend and a colleague. You know, I can't wait for everybody to to read your books and share them with their HR leaders. As I said the first episode, don't forget to share this content. What do you want to celebrate the most about your life by design? Now a year later,

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 1:10:30

I would, I would say that a the thing that I probably want to celebrate the most is my time with my wife and and pup. The importance, yeah, the importance of that. Life in my life that I feel like I neglected for a good chunk of my working days, and that the priority shift of what is really valuable is the relationship you end up having with the folks that you surround yourself with,

Nicoa Coach: 1:11:07

and you're able to more intentionally do that in this lifestyle that you've designed now, and it sounds like that's been a lot more rewarding for you, for sure,

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 1:11:16

absolutely.

Nicoa Coach: 1:11:17

So what do you want to celebrate most about you? Before we hang up, my favorite question?

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 1:11:23

Ah, that's an excellent question. I what I want to celebrate? You know, this is the part where it's like self judgment comes up, right? Can't Help, can't, can't help that, but, but the, I would say it's the, it is the opportunities that that are available to me to make, make the most of this physical experience and be able to share it with

Nicoa Coach: 1:11:55

others, rewrite that, reframe it. What is that about you, that you're celebrating that's an opportunity that's external from you and your ability to access it?

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 1:12:06

Yeah, I would say it's, it's the awareness of of of of that, and the appreciation for what I may consider like a stall or a slow down. And it's the it's the this is the lesson that I have in front of me that I what I want to really shift to celebrate this as a thing that is vital and necessary in order for me to continue down the paths that I desire, that all of these things are presented as opportunities and lessons, and that's that's what I want to I want to be able To be more comfortable over time. And so this is the part where I'm desiring to celebrate the like, this is, there's a lesson in here, there's an opportunity in here, yeah, and and recognize that, like, you know, ideally, like a Buddh monk, right? Where it's like, Hmm, why is this here, right? Yes, I'd like to get to that point, but I, but I want to, I want to emphasize the celebrating, celebrating those sorts of what I might perceive as obstacles at a moment in time,

Nicoa Coach: 1:13:15

I celebrate your conscious awareness also, because that's what you're saying. Yes, you know your ability to pause, even if it comes with all the historic judgment and the goods and the bads and the fears and the uncertainties and the doubts. Your ability to pause is a superpower, and that reflection is something you have fostered and learned, and it is a skill that can become the superpower to creating your life by design. So I celebrate that with you, and thank you. I am honored to be on this podcast and offer these opportunities to talk, so let's do it again in a year. Absolutely,

CHRISTOPHER GOFF: 1:13:59

absolutely. Thank you so very much. I appreciate it. You're such an amazing person to kind of give me this opportunity to talk, and I appreciate the double shot. Although I have to say we didn't drink anywhere near enough coffee, I could definitely

Nicoa Coach: 1:14:13

use a refill. I know I'm on my second so you do not want me to get a refill. I'll start chasing the fox down out in the yard. So I think I'm probably done for the day. Thank you, my friend. I'll talk to you again soon.

Unknown: 1:14:28

Thanks for joining us for a caffeinated conversation. Subscribe to Coffee with nicoa for more stories from people living a life by design. You can also find inspiration on Instagram. Just follow Coffee with nicoa and check out our website, coffeewithnicoa.com and that's nicoa, n, i, c, O, A, we look forward to talking with you soon, and enjoy your coffee between now and then you.