Espresso Shot 24: BE OUT OF CONTROL

Nicoa  emphasizes the importance of self-trust in navigating uncertainty - FEELING OUT OF CONTROL! She shares personal experiences and how she learned to trust herself. Remember YOU ARE THE MISSING FACTOR - reflect on how to embrace the feeling of uncertainty, step back, and question what you need to let go of in order to handle unexpected outcomes with grace and resilience. What does matter most to you in your LIFE BY DESIGN?

Transcript

Nicoa Coach: 0:02

sometimes don't you just need a quick moment of inspiration. Or maybe you just need a moment of caffeinated contemplation to reflect on life. That's the idea behind my weekly coffee with Nicola espresso shots, I'll be sharing short jolts of inspiration in each clip, in addition to my longer Coffee with Nicoa interview episodes, make sure to subscribe so you never miss an espresso shot, or a full length Coffee with Nicoa interview created just for you. Hey, everybody, its Nicoa Welcome to your weekly espresso shot. Listen to me, listen carefully. And I mean, if you need to put your phone down, and really just pause and reflect with me, you are missing out on your life. Life is not a means to an end. I mean, you're gonna want to rewind and listen to that 14 more times, and maybe even listen to it while you're sleeping tonight. So we can rewire your brain, there are three things I'm going to tell you about today that are going to remind you about this really critical knowing this, this understanding this law of the universe, that you're down here having this earthly experience, and you're supposed to be having a good time really are like, okay, like you're supposed to be having fun. So the reason you're not is because you think somehow that life isn't going to be good enough, unless you have a certain amount of money or you get a certain amount of things accomplished. Or, you know, if I could just get that promotion, if I could just get the kids out of the house. Or if I could just make sure that everybody's you know, getting through school successfully. Or if I could just make sure that I get my to do list done. Life is not a means to an end. I remember my grandmother, my grandmother Clemens, Effie, Bill Clemens, she ended up passing away a few months shy of her 99th birthday. But a few years prior, she got put into this nursing home. Now the good news was she kind of forgot about her previous life and her she was kind of living in the moment. And she spent a lot of time smiling and being happy when we came to see her. I mean, she wasn't an angry old person. She actually found some sort of peace in the end. But I said to my father, one day, this was his mother. I said, Dad, isn't that so sad? I'm so sad for grandmama I can't believe that. She spent her whole life and here she is laying in this bench can't even get up and down on her own. And oh my god, this is awful. And he looked at me and he said Nicoa Let's hope she didn't live her whole life for this. And he's right. Of course she didn't. And the conversation continued. And he said, Let's hope she lived her life. Seems to me that she took full responsibility for her life. And she had a pretty good time. She worked hard. Could she have played a little bit more? Probably. But I think she enjoyed gossiping as her play and socializing with her friends and and look at her she's actually happy. What does that mean for you? Are you putting off you're happy. Because you think that life is a means to an end that you have to do certain things in order to be to give yourself permission to have a good time. A lot of people in the world a lot of my clients who are very linear in their thinking, you know, well, once this happens, then it'll be okay. And then I can relax. Well, once I get that promotion, then I'll be what, wait for it enough. Right? As long as you're looking externally for these external factors to shift or change, or a certain dollar amount in your bank account or savings or, you know, once we fix that on the house, then we're allowed to, you know, spend money on a little vacation. What are the stories that you're telling about your life, this life by design of yours? Do you give yourself the balance and the permission to have fun? Are you actually living your life? Or are you waiting on something before you give yourself permission to play, to save or to rest? to relax, to stop the doing and find your way of being? Are you do you? Number one, it's time for you to be you now. You are not broken. You are enough. You don't have to do more spiritual work to be enough. You don't have to, to you know, do the self help book to be enough. You don't have to fill out Nikolas journal to be enough. At the end of the day, the goal here is to explore who you are now because guess what, that is enough. And you are amazing. Now you might want to do other things in your life and continue to grow and learn and expand. Do it. You don't have to wait to do those things and you don't have to do those things in order to be happy and sad. satisfied and content, and savor and be happy. Be you now number two, let the love in, let the happy in, let the excitement in, let the play in, let the fun in. Don't be so buttoned up that you can't dance in the kitchen or play in the front yard. Don't be so uptight that you actually don't play at all. When was the last time you just said something funny in the middle of a meeting? Okay, I'm not trying to get you fired. But I can remember once I was in this meeting in the big corporate world. Fortunately, I'd been on this team for quite a while. And I could tell the conversation was getting pretty intense. And there was this long pause. And at one point, I looked at my CEO, and he looked at me and I said, I think we need a stretch break. And he was like, I think you're right. It's somebody else cuz I think we need a dance break. And I was so glad they said it. And they turned on their music. And we all stood up and did a little jig. We shook off the energy of that meeting. And that was rare. That was 15 years ago. Yeah, I mean, really, that was rare. Nowadays, maybe people do that more often. But you got to let the fun in. You got to let yourself relax. If you got to get up and shake it off. Life is too short. Let the love in. If somebody's trying to love you say thank you. If somebody's trying to laugh with you. Take a breath. Try to find the chuckle. Did you know that there's such such a thing as laugh laughter yoga. We actually did that at our last retreat. Retreat coming up. I'm about to make the ad this fall 2024. Look for the details. Be you now let the love laughter lightness listening learning in. And last but not least, give yourself permission to be hopeful. Give yourself permission to anticipate with excitement, fulfillment, get excited, really think about your future with hope. If you're not getting excited about what's next, it sure does make what you're doing every day kind of annoying and burdensome, doesn't it? But if you gave yourself permission to actually look forward, get excited. Even if it doesn't work out the way you hope it will at least you are in an energy that is more likely to attract exactly what you want. Then if you're in an energy of I'll get excited when I know I've got enough money in that bank account. How I'll get excited when I know that you know I've gotten all my work done today. I'll give myself permission to get excited later. Y'all later, later may not come be you now. Let the love light learning laughter lessons loving all in and give yourself permission to anticipate your future with hope and excitement. Life is not a means to an end. Thanks for listening. Make sure to subscribe so you never miss an espresso shot or a full length Coffee with Nicoa interview created just for you.

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