Espresso Shot 7: IN JOY

Are you IN JOY? Enjoying your life?  What does JOY look like for you? Today's espresso shot talks all about JOY! A Life By Design usually includes a lot of JOY, doesn't it? Do you really know the answer to these questions? Nicoa offers up a number of thoughts for reflection for you in this episode.  Another great set of JOURNALING PROMPTS FOR YOU!

Buy your copy of YOUR LIFE BY DESIGN: A Coffee With Nicoa Self-Care Coaching Journal
on Amazon today! 

Transcript

Nicoa Coach: 0:02

sometimes don't you just need a quick moment of inspiration. Or maybe you just need a moment of caffeinated contemplation to reflect on life. That's the idea behind my weekly coffee with Nicola espresso shots. I'll be sharing short jolts of inspiration in each clip. In addition to my longer Coffee with Nicoa interview episodes, make sure to subscribe so you never miss an espresso shot, or a full length Coffee with Nicoa interview created just for you. Good morning. Welcome to your weekly espresso shot everybody, this is Nicoa with coffee with Nicoa. I want to talk about joy. And I've talked about it before I've hinted to it I've talked about that feeling that you get when you try to imagine where the end of the universe is. And your whole body gets all fluttery and freaked out. I want to talk about the joy that you feel when you laugh so hard you almost pee, or you do pee all of my friends who've had lots of babies, I want to talk about the joy that if somebody says What brings you joy, for those of you who are working too hard and overwhelmed, and not necessarily living your real life by design, where you pause and you go, wait, what does bring me joy. I think Joy is about that flow state. And I want us to really dig deep into it. Because hopefully, by the end of this conversation, you'll be able to open up to the reason why it's so critical for you to find your joy. And to really spend more time fostering joy than any other emotion. It's out there. Joy, joy, joy, because joy is is multitudes of emotions combined into one. Now, a lot of people think, well, you know, it's really important, I gotta find my joy, I got to do the healing work, you know, you're not healing, and doing all this coaching work and self awareness work and going to your therapist, just to be able to handle any of your past life traumas or a bad boss or, or a circumstance that's causing you anxiety and stress, your healing and doing all that work, to be able to handle joy. And I think I even saw a post about that once where it was like, I'm not doing this to be able to manage trauma, I'm doing this to be able to foster a life by design that makes me happy and filled with joy, joyful, full of joy, full of joy. So what how do you really do that? Well, first of all, yet, you have to decide that in and of itself, you have to make a decision, say you know what, the reason that I'm learning new ways of being is to have more fun, feel more love, spend time enjoy enjoying my life, right? So it's not about compensating for trauma, drama, past hurts. It's about fostering and creating, and CO creating with yourself a life that is filled with happiness, satisfaction, peace, and joy. You know, one of the most common threads that drives joy in my clients lives is the concept of service. Now, you may have read, you know, the serve the serving leader, the service leader, learning how to serve putting service before self, you know, but the only way we can truly leverage service for others or for ourselves is where I would strategically go is to find joy in our way of being first. Because oftentimes, the concept of service, even though it is a close knit partner to joy, we tend to think, Oh, if I serve, then I will find joy. And a lot of my clients tend to be over caregivers like they, they giving, giving, giving, giving give, and they're like, well, it makes me feel so good. But then they become addicted to the giving and the serving to the point where they burn themselves out. I have a lot of joy because I give back. What do you want to celebrate about yourself? And they'll say, the fact that I'm such a good giver, the fact that I help others. And I'm like, that's great, but that's a doing and still about other people. So let's bring it back into you. What do you want to celebrate about yourself? What brings you joy? Maybe then you can begin to dissect it. And maybe the service is something that's enabling it where you say, there's this feeling inside of me. That makes me happy. And it makes me feel good. And I tend to see and feel it most often when I am giving and yet that same individual turn right around and say I'm so tired. I'm so burnout. I'm so overwhelmed. I do sometimes find the Know that I can't find joy unless I'm in that act of service. So what if I told you that when you're in the act of joy, enjoy, you're able to serve even more, you'd be able to give even more to your job to your, to your family, to your partner, to your mother, you know that the aging parent to the individuals you'd like to volunteer with. If you are already, if you had already found your joy and your happiness, because when you are in your most joyous state, the service that you provide to others actually matters even more, it's creating this bigger impact on the lives of those that you seek to serve. And when you're doing so, out of joy, then it's free, it's freeing, it's energizing. But when you if you if you do so out of guilt, or obligation, or well, this is who I am. And if I don't do this, I'm not enough, then that actually doesn't make it better. It doesn't serve everybody to the extent that it could. When you inspire others with the way you live your life, that will help them inspire others as well, because they'll see that it is possible. So not only is this access to joy, something that I encourage you to foster first, so that you can be more of a caregiver, you can be more of a joy filled offer of service. But you, you then are creating a ripple effect that's sustainable. So again, how do we come back to finding your own joy? Just start asking yourself if your giving is rooted in a true state of joy, a service, or if in some way, it's tied to your identity, and a need to be liked, and need to feel valued and worthy. And then the last part of this to ponder, right? My favorite word that my daughter picks on me about let's ponder that. The last part of this is to define joy in your day to day life. So I want you to pull out your journal, your notebook, your piece of pad, you know, piece of paper in your notepad and I want you to just jot down today, every time you feel joy. I don't care if it's a giggle at a tick tock. I don't care if you smile at the neighbor when you go to get your mail. Is that joy filled for you? Is that does that create joy for you? Is it smiling at yourself in the mirror? Is it giving your your youngest a hug? Because they need it that day? And does that fuel you in some way? All these little things is your favorite pin? Is it something that makes you smile when you look around your home at all the things that you have invested in to create this experience of living? To make you feel better about life? Can you go outside and put your feet in the grass does that make you feel joy filled? Notice what brings you joy. And then I want you to spend at least 15 seconds sitting in that joy about that item about that person about that experience. Sit with the joy until it becomes who you are. Be in joy and you will enjoy your life by design. Thanks for listening let me know what you think. Make sure to subscribe so you never miss an espresso shot or a full length Coffee with Nicoa interview created just for you.

Unknown: 8:55

Cut the burning and scuffle hands on will already have