S1 EP 37: JASON BARNABY + BETH RASHLEIGH / THE DIAMOND DOG PODCASTERS

This is a DOUBLE SHOT of Coffee With Nicoa: Meet Jason & Beth! Two amazing podcasters, authors, speakers, coaches - Jason Barnaby of Firestarter's Tribe and Beth Rashleigh of Rashleigh Consulting! They are the cohosts of The Diamond Dogs Podcast ( Woof Woof!  ) which is a favorite of Nicoa's since she's a big Ted Lasso fan! Wow, interviewing two amazing guests at once really WAS a caffeinated conversation! 

Buy all the books referenced in this episode HERE!

Listen to Jason and his wife on The Diamond Dogs podcast talk all things therapy Season 2 Episode 2 !

Here's a link that describes what ENNEAGRAM is!  Highly recommend this assessment... both Jason and Beth offer this tool if you are interested, reach out to them!

AND of course ENERGY LEADERSHIP! What is it? Want to find out your E_Factor?
Schedule time with Nicoa or Beth if you are interested in taking the Energy Leadership Index Assessment :
Nicoa's calendar link here and Beth's email beth@rashleighconsulting.com !!

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Buy your copy of YOUR LIFE BY DESIGN: A Coffee With Nicoa Self-Care Coaching Journal
on Amazon today! 

Transcript

Nicoa Coach: 0:01

Grab your coffee and join me Nicoa For a caffeinated conversation about life I'll be talking to people who have chosen to walk their own paths and just like me, are creating a life by design. I hope it will give you the inspiration you need to do exactly the same. Welcome, welcome Beth rashly Jason Barnaby and blaze the dog. Welcome.

Jason Barnaby: 0:28

Blaze the Wonder?

Nicoa Coach: 0:30

Dog. Well, you know, that changed my mind. I'm gonna start with Mr. catchphrase over here. Jason Barnaby Sienna, Sal, please enter the room. Jason. You're amazing. How are you? Hey, nice to meet you.

Jason Barnaby: 0:43

Nice to meet you. So excited for this account?

Nicoa Coach: 0:46

You know, when Beth and I met a while back through, I guess I actually I lie. I'm gonna start with you, Beth, when we met, I think. Don't worry.

Jason Barnaby: 0:58

If this feels this feels very much.

Nicoa Coach: 1:02

My listeners are used to this. So that didn't I just kind of like randomly reach out to you because we wrote our energy leaders don't like that. Would you help me?

Beth Rashleigh: 1:12

Yes, yeah. You

Jason Barnaby: 1:14

were looking for to get person to go do that.

Beth Rashleigh: 1:16

Like you were looking for a project for some folks with healthcare backgrounds that coached and and that's how we connected. And she also has

Nicoa Coach: 1:23

a good yes, that's really much better than my memory, because I totally forgot I was and we were talking about doing like additional coach offerings for this one partner, which they have gone out of business now. But if they'd had your coaching in addition to mine, probably, I'm thinking we could have saved them. I shouldn't have tried to do that heavy lifting all by myself. That's what? Well, yeah. So we're both energy leadership certified and do the quick overview of your amazing rashly consulting you started back in 2019. Is that right? Yeah. And three years? Yeah, you're amazing. You not both of you have also written books already. Stop it. Like I feel pressure. But that's here's your overview, rashly consulting in 2019. Which I always want to say Raleigh, because I'm from Raleigh North. Yes. Well, yeah, it looks like it common 20 years in talent and organizational development, that that's often in HR guys, for those listening. You're in the healthcare world, but you did not even include in this little summary of yours on your website. But you also worked for the CIA. Is that because you'd have to kill us or she,

Jason Barnaby: 2:30

she buries the lead. So I'll just tell you that I tell Beth all the time. She's like, No, I didn't do stuff like that in the CIA. I said, and I always say that's exactly what sounds like somebody in the CIA was has been trained to say, and she always rolls her eyes. But I don't let it go. she buries that lead all Yeah, I'm

Beth Rashleigh: 2:47

pretty careful about talking about it on like having it on a website like a permanent location. Even my LinkedIn I don't put it there because you can't be targeted. So I'm conscious of that. But I don't mind talking about it publicly. So I've talked about it

Jason Barnaby: 3:06

on our show before she cares. She cares. She conceals lots of weapons. Do you not

Beth Rashleigh: 3:11

I can you imagine you with a weapon dear, sweet baby Jesus that will not go away. And

Jason Barnaby: 3:15

that's and that's what I think everybody who's trained to have a weapon. That's what they always say. Nobody thinks

Nicoa Coach: 3:20

like, oh, well, we'll quickly. We'll just go right over that soon as how I want to keep you safe and pretend this is a safe space. You guys, this is safe space. And please, everyone stop listening to the previous one minute. Okay. Here's the other cool thing about us, Beth. We both went to BSU. Just to get the sweatshirt. I don't think we talked about Yeah, I don't think I knew that. I was like that girl would advise the university. Are you kidding me?

Beth Rashleigh: 3:48

That's where all the cool people go to college.

Jason Barnaby: 3:50

I'm not sure I knew you went to ball. Well, the two of you know I'm seriously I'm not sure any Well, yeah. BSU and I'm like, does that mean Boston?

Nicoa Coach: 4:02

Well, yeah, I got I went there to get this sweatshirt.

Beth Rashleigh: 4:06

I went. I went for the parties and stayed for the academics. But it was a delight. I loved going to go,

Nicoa Coach: 4:12

Oh my gosh, it's between so I got into San Diego State and I got into Ball State for grad school. And I was either going to be on the beach all day and not get a degree or I was going to be between two cornfields in Ball State and Montana, Indiana.

Jason Barnaby: 4:27

That's facts.

Beth Rashleigh: 4:28

That is facts. Yeah, there's nothing else to do in Muncie besides go to class. So you might as well go to class. I remember

Nicoa Coach: 4:34

who's your biggest rival and the kid and like the info desk was like what?

Beth Rashleigh: 4:39

We don't really have one. Yeah.

Jason Barnaby: 4:42

We don't have we would have to have competitive teams never okay. Hey,

Beth Rashleigh: 4:45

hey, hey. Don't talk about my cards that why don't you talk about Go Cardinals. Okay, they are often Mac Big champ champions. So don't you talk crap about now. It's not a real conference championship.

Nicoa Coach: 5:00

Well, I was there a long time ago before they were actually really good. So that's why Yeah, cuz I'm old. All right. So you have all sorts of great, great stuff behind your name. And because we're, we need to probably get on with it that the biggest takeaway, though, when I was reading about you, Beth was your focus on being, you know, wholehearted in creating high performance teams. And I know that you are values based and your work is having a significant impact on the people that you coach and you partner with and you've had a significant impact on me truly, when I did reach out to you. I also was asking for advice. And could you tell me what you did with your podcast? Because ladies and gentlemen, the reason that I have two people on this interview today is because Jason and Beth are the CO podcast hosts for the infamous the Diamond Dogs podcast. Ted last tips and tricks, guys. I mean, you guys really nailed it around that. So we'll talk all about that too. But your book went Best Book is crisis proof leadership. Y'all can pause, write that down. I'll put it in the show notes. Crisis proof leadership right over

Jason Barnaby: 6:12

her shoulder to

Nicoa Coach: 6:14

you guys are so good. I got like, I got every book. Okay. Oh, look at you. Oh my gosh, for years. I'm sorry. I haven't bought it yet.

Beth Rashleigh: 6:24

That's okay. That's okay. I'm

Nicoa Coach: 6:26

not Oprah. Like I read three books last night. And but you really you focus in on the book, though, about what leaders can do during a time of crisis. And I'm hoping that we can highlight your own personal crises. Both of you Sure. Over the past five years.

Jason Barnaby: 6:43

That's, that's a whole nother.

Beth Rashleigh: 6:45

We're gonna we're gonna have to talk a lot about the holes we crawled in Jason.

Nicoa Coach: 6:50

I mean, gosh, yeah, so segue Jason. Oh my god. Speaker author Firestarter. You have firestarters Inc. Pretty cool stuff all about actionable inspiration. You know, oh, find your fire fan your flame man. You're knocking it out of the park, Mr. Professional Speaker and two books. Two, what are the name of your books?

Jason Barnaby: 7:12

Third on the way so? Um, yeah. In the, in the data mining stage at this moment

Nicoa Coach: 7:18

over achievers, I'm like these, okay,

Beth Rashleigh: 7:21

and one day we're gonna write a book together. We don't know what that book is. Yeah, one day, we're gonna write a book together.

Jason Barnaby: 7:26

And see, that's how that's how our podcast got started. Beth just threw it out into the ether. And yep.

Nicoa Coach: 7:31

That is interesting. How did you guys know each other to come together for the podcast?

Jason Barnaby: 7:37

So I was thinking about this last night, I believe that when we were in that mastermind group, you were still working? Yeah, I

Beth Rashleigh: 7:43

was. So I hadn't even started my business. I was at like, the early I had started my business.

Jason Barnaby: 7:47

And there's a I feel like I shout her out a lot on things that I do. But Jenny Robbins, who is a master, like, I would say, like a puppet master, but not in a manipulative way, just like on the scenes and you just you, you don't even know she's there. And she has worked with so many people that are in our circle. And we were in a mastermind together. And I was in the early starts of my thing. And there was somebody else in the early start a couple other people in the early starts of theirs. And Beth was like, I think this is what I want to do. But what the hell am I supposed to do? And how do I do this? And so that's where we met though, right? Yeah, I

Beth Rashleigh: 8:25

had never I had heard of you. Like we had a lot of mutual friends. But I had never really interacted one on one with him until we were in that group together. And Jason I will I tell the story all the time. I don't think I would have a business if I hadn't met Jason. Oh. Because Jason as part of that group was such an integral part of saying like, What the hell are you doing? When are you starting your business like, and he was one of the most consistent people around, along with Jenny with Okay, so next week, you'll have your website URL, right, like, very action movement, driven in just the way I needed with lots of support baked into,

Nicoa Coach: 9:05

Oh, that makes so much sense. I mean, I can remember once somebody saying to me, Well, why haven't you gotten an office yet? When I first went out on my own? I must have been complaining about working from the house at the time. Back in 2009. But yeah, you've got to have that accountability and coming together. Yeah. Elaborate plus, plus, Jason, you Mr. Finance services company and this college professor, you need to hold people accountable. Right.

Beth Rashleigh: 9:31

Not afraid to do that.

Jason Barnaby: 9:33

No, not afraid to do that. I have more problems holding myself accountable than I do others. But I think that's typically the way you know, they say that those that those that can't do teach right?

Nicoa Coach: 9:45

Guilt. You Yeah, I would just want to highlight a couple more cool things about your background. So you were a professional ski bum and Colorado. I've lived out there. Did you know that Colorado is the number one In a state that state with the highest number of people that move out there with no job.

Beth Rashleigh: 10:05

I did not. Yeah, that.

Nicoa Coach: 10:08

Was that you?

Jason Barnaby: 10:09

I moved. Yeah, no job, no place to live. Like, I'll figure it out when I get there. And you were

Nicoa Coach: 10:13

you skied your way through it. It sounds like and then you lived in Europe for eight years. What's up with that? It this makes you super life by designing.

Jason Barnaby: 10:23

So I, I met my wife on a short term mission trip to Poland and Ukraine. Poland was the first stop. And then we went to Ukraine, and she was a translator, and literally 72 ish hours, probably less than that, before we headed to Ukraine. We kind of did one of the Joey Tribbiani is like, you know, she's like, I was like, All right then. And fast forward to literally almost a year to the date that we met later, we were married, and I wound up staying in Europe, and I moved with two army duffel bags didn't know the language.

Nicoa Coach: 11:06

Why not? How may I ask how old you were when you did that?

Jason Barnaby: 11:10

I believe that I was backwards math.

Nicoa Coach: 11:15

I was 26 years old. Wow. That's awesome. I love that story. And then went to eight years later you moved to the US? Is that how that worked? Or

Jason Barnaby: 12:15

came back to the US? Yeah, it was post 911, which a lot of people don't remember what that time was like, But we lived in Europe. And we were not on the same passport. My wife had a long term visa to come to the States, but we should not have an American passport. And so we were you know, there were a lot of questions at that time, like, well, what if something like this happens in Europe? And it's like, well, we can go to the embassy or to the consulate. They'll likely let you in. But they don't have to. Because you're you know. And that was a very we had, we had a we had one kid and I think one on the way. Or maybe he was just born. And that was a very real fear. And we were like, well, we need to get this right. So we came back to the States. And the plan was for me to get my PhD and for us to go back to Europe within five years. That was roughly 18 months ago. And I still don't have a third

Nicoa Coach: 13:09

kid already. Right? Yeah. And two things you just that just played out when you said that when you shared that one. We knew we could make a change, we were going to make a change, we needed to make a change. So therefore we did. And then yes, we stopped making some changes, because things got a little secure and comfy. And now as they do so, maybe we can talk about that between you guys like let tell us maybe your bet. Tell us what your your conversion, not your origin. But your kind of conversion story. Was it the support of Jason trying to encourage you to go out on your own? Or was? Or Had there been a build up when you made this decision to go out on your own? Yeah,

Beth Rashleigh: 13:53

there had definitely been a build up when we so when we moved back to the Indianapolis area from DC when I stopped working at the agency. I actually really consider starting a business then. But I didn't have the network and nd right like I hadn't lived in Indianapolis in eight years. I didn't really I wasn't really plugged in here. I think I could have had a really successful business in the DC area. But I wasn't set up to have that business in Indianapolis. So after doing some contracting for some, like local colleges, I just decided, okay, I need to go back to corporate and just find a really great leadership gig. I did that. But like I just kept feeling the pull. Yeah. And I thought part of that was because the first job I took when I came back to nd really, really tough organizational climate. And I thought, okay, maybe it's just the organization. So I switched organizations was leading a team had the perfect boss had the perfect team. And I still kept feeling the pole. And so that's when I was like, Okay, wait, if this is like, I can't even make this job any better. It's pretty great. And I still feel that there's something to that. And that's when I stopped. I started kind of stepping into it, and just exploring it more. And then the thing that really shoved me off the cliff, I have a really good friend that I worked with at the time, that I think she's two years older than me that I got an email from her over Labor Day weekend of 2019 that she had stage three cancer. And it was an email that was basically like, I don't know what's happening. I'm really scared and I could really use your support right now. And I remember like reading it and going, what am I wait like, nothing is guaranteed. Nothing is guaranteed. Why do I keep messing around with this? And that was really I went in that Tuesday and talk to my boss about quitting.

Nicoa Coach: 15:48

Wow. Either way, yeah. How would you describe the poll? You said it two or three times there? The poem is?

Beth Rashleigh: 15:57

Yeah, that's a really interesting question. I think it's like the pull to what else is possible? Like, what else am I capable of? What else can my life look like then what it looks like right now? Anybody who's worked in site, corporate knows, you know, I've been a working mom for 14 years. Any working parent will tell you that is crazy hard, right? Like, it's you feel a constant pull to you're failing one of the two places all the time. And feeling very, almost, like fragmented, like the ice. That's how I would describe working in corporate as a working parent. My life now is so much more integrated, right? Like, I can shift so seamlessly between what my son needs, what my family needs and what my business needs. Yeah. And I have ultimate control over that. And that's the gift of this lifestyle. Right? There's plenty of things that are a trade off. Right. But that is what I wanted. I wanted to feel less conflicted.

Nicoa Coach: 17:04

Right. And that's the benefit of a life by design that

Beth Rashleigh: 17:08

flow. Yeah, right. It's

Nicoa Coach: 17:09

like, graded. Right. Awesome. Well, and your what is the biggest benefit of that for you right now? And then I want to hear your origin or conversion story to Jason. But what do you think you really, because you're going to continue to expand even in this new space? Yeah. What's the biggest benefit for you right now?

Beth Rashleigh: 17:32

That's a great question. I think for me, like, personally, right now, at this stage of life, it's the flexibility of it in it, it is the control of choosing what I work on, who I work with what I work on. And not feeling so out of control around where you put your energy, right, like I get to be the decider of that. Yeah. And that is really powerful choice

Nicoa Coach: 17:55

and control. Yes. I love that. All right, Jason, what was the big I think I actually went and saw this on your Facebook, or I'm a super stalker before these interviews. And I started, I remember reading just a couple days, I was like, oh, there's his story. And then I couldn't find it this morning. Where was that? I know, it's telling me all sorts of great things to ask him. So maybe you could remind me what the hell happened over the past five years with you.

Jason Barnaby: 18:29

So mine was I would say it was a time it was a combination. One was my dad growing up, owned a construction business. So he was self employed. And feast or famine, for sure. But he, I watched him build something No pun intended. That was like, that was he was proud of. And you know, he was he just kind of figured it out. And when you grow up in that household, it's it's I think it's amazing the things that you that just permeate, you know, you just take in the conversations, maybe you're not even paying attention to between mom and dad talking about business. And when did we take vacations? And how does that look? And what do we do and all that sort of stuff. So that was, I feel like I always had that in me and I, I've loved meeting people and selling like I had a paper out when I was 10 years old. A lot of your listeners won't remember even or know what those things are. But like I had to, you know, and I remember winning. My first I went to a contest where I got to go see the cubs in Chicago by selling a certain number of subscriptions. And my dad made me like put a sales pitch together, I had to write it on a card, I had to practice it in front of him and, and then I went out and like, got the numbers that I needed. And I was like, I can do this like that was in me at a very early age. And then, as a piece of that I just carried around for a long time a binder notebook, it took to manila folder. It was different in different stages of life, but it always had imobie on it, which stood for my own business. So I knew that one day I was going to do I just didn't know what that looked like I didn't know didn't know what it was was I going to sell a product was I going to be a distributor what was I going to do? And then, you know, when I was in Europe, I was a teacher. I was a college professor for five years and I love love, love teaching that facilitating an aha moment for someone to be a part of that. And I know we all know what that feels like but that if you if you could put that in a drug I would be I would be high 24/7 Because that is like there is No feeling like that feeling. And so, you know, we came back to the states and I was like, I have no like I've always taught so I, you know, I taught for a while. And that led to me finding a job and training and facilitation, which I didn't even know existed. And then really the the huge conversion catalyst was what I call the gift of severance. After almost 10 years, the company said, hey, thanks. We are we are restructuring. And what's interesting is I knew this this I will I will tell the story quickly it was it because I liked the fact that I got a little bit of an opportunity to stick it to the man. So I knew that this, I knew that this was coming. You're talking

Nicoa Coach: 21:34

to two HR professionals.

Jason Barnaby: 21:38

Well, then you'll then you'll appreciate how this is gonna go. So I had I had been at a conference, and I knew that it was coming. Like I'd already had a conversation with my boss. I wasn't 100% sure when it was coming. But I had been at a conference I got back on a Tuesday, like late Monday, early Tuesday morning. And I while I was at the conference, I got a meeting invite for 815 in the morning. I've never had a meeting at 815. Right, right. So like, Duh. So on that Tuesday, I had two desks. I had one because I was in HR at the time, I had one in HR and I had one in the business unit where I was I spent more time in the business unit. And I didn't have much in my HR stuff. But I I took I cleaned off my desk, basically. And then I went upstairs and cleaned out all that stuff. And I put it in two boxes, and I put the boxes there were space between my desk and the window. So you couldn't really see that it was that I cleaned it off. And then when I came in the next morning, I parked on the street, and I came up and I took my boxes down to my car. And there was a woman that because it was pretty early in the morning when I did this. And there was a lady that sat next close to me and she goes, What are you doing? And I said, Well, I said I'm pretty sure in about 20 minutes, I'm getting fired. She was like, Oh my gosh, what? And I was like, No, it's okay. And here's the stick it to the man part that whole Tuesday that I was in the office, I just went around and found all the people that I really loved and had got had great friendships with and had an opportunity to say goodbye, because you don't get to do that. Right? You get walked out the door. And then you know, you get everybody gets the email that Jason is no longer with the organization bullshit. Like, you know, like, we all know what that means. And so when I went to the meeting, when I went to the meeting, my it was my boss and his, I think it was his boss at the time. You know, going with the big package with all the paperwork stuff you have to sign and he goes, Hey, just before we get started, he goes, I just have a question. He goes, Did you? Did you clean out your desk yesterday? And I said, I said I did as a matter of fact, and he goes, he goes really? He goes, he goes, Why did you do that? And I said, Well, here's the deal. Contrary to popular belief, when these meetings happen, everybody knows what's going on. You guys just don't want to believe or just don't think that everybody knows. Yeah. And he goes, so you don't have anything left at your desk? And I was like, No, he goes, what about your laptop? And I like reach in my backpack and like whack? Because what about your corporate credit card rack? What about your key fob? The only thing that I forgot, which I was bummed about is I didn't take my parking pass, I had to send that I had to send that back. Mistake. He's like, I know, right? He goes, he goes, Well, that's one he goes, that's one for the for the for the memory books. And I said, Well, that's good. Because the the, the company that I started a couple of months ago, in anticipation of this day, one of my guiding principles is to be memorable. So

Nicoa Coach: 24:33

how I love this. And Jason, let me be really clear. They didn't do anything to you. You manifested the shit out of that quit out of that firing. Everybody, I get clients calling me all the time. Oh, I need to leave. It's so overwhelming. I hate it here. But could you help me stay? And then they get fired? And they're like, Oh, I didn't really want to be there anyway, I'm like, yeah, don't forget, that's what, okay. Yeah. Well, so then What year was this? This was the pandemic timeframe or before?

Beth Rashleigh: 25:02

It was before? Right? No, this

Jason Barnaby: 25:04

would have been

Nicoa Coach: 25:05

eight to 18. So So then you're out on your own? Yeah. Oh, my gosh, well, so this business. Tell us about your business.

Jason Barnaby: 25:17

So firestarters Incorporated, I have I went to a leadership conference where one of the speakers said, Do you have a magnificent vision? That was one of his questions, and I was like, oof, I don't I have a vision, but it's not magnificent. And then the second thing he said was and I was stuck in the corporate world at this time, kind of teetering on whether or not I should be leaving or not. He said if you're a leader whose permission are you waiting for to leave? Or? Yeah, if you're a leader, whose permission are you waiting for to lead? And a friend of mine was sitting behind me and she poked me in the back And so I, you know, I hired Jenny, who are who I mentioned earlier and basically hired her to help me put a framework around this business. And I remember we were in I had, I had hired her for three sessions I had didn't have the money, I put it on a credit card. I'm like, but I need to do this. So I, we were in like, halfway through the second session, I was feeling frustrated, because I'm like, we don't have this framework and, and we're whiteboarding stuff. And I'm sitting and I'm working on a list. And she looks at me and she goes, Well, there's your framework. I was like, I have a framework. What is it, and that's where find your fire fan your flame. And I'm actually reworking it for this year. But currently, it's fine to fire fan your flame and tinned your tribe because I really do believe that the people you hang out with have a big impact. But it will be changing this year to find your fire fan your flame Ignite, you're changing the

Nicoa Coach: 26:37

world one fiery heart at a time.

Beth Rashleigh: 26:41

There it is Jason burn.

Nicoa Coach: 26:43

You really hit on something that tribe and you guys are a tribe, you hired that person. I mean, people listening, if you're about to go out, go find your people. And don't always talk to your spouse or your mom or your best friend go find people that have either done it before. Like me, Colin Beth, and I don't know, but who helped me?

Beth Rashleigh: 27:03

Well, Jason, to start with, and I just want to quickly like highlight one of the tools that I use of Jason's all the time around tribe building, which is his tribal inventory tool, which maybe you could link that Jason for. Absolutely. Audience. It's such a great tool. Yeah, I actually use that tool before I had even met Jason in real life because he was on a friend of mines podcast. Yeah, I think when you were on Rebecca's podcast, ah, yeah, I heard it and went and grabbed the tool. Because I was like, that sounds interesting to me. And it's a really great tool to help you like really think about like, who are the key people in different types of ways in your life? And how do you want to integrate them more? How, when do you want to utilize them? When do you want to step into different relationships? And that's something like anytime I'm feeling a little out of alignment with that I pull out Jason's tool, because it's fantastic.

Nicoa Coach: 27:49

Oh, we'll definitely put that in the show notes. I mean, for those of you that was probably the biggest shock when I left the corporate world was the entire infrastructure just is obliterated. And then your laptop messes up and you're sitting there going, Where's the guy I used to hand this to?

Beth Rashleigh: 28:04

Well, that's why you went marry a software engineer, because what I do is I yell help desk from my desk, and my husband runs.

Nicoa Coach: 28:09

I did marry a software engineer. I hope you this morning. This morning. I was like, oh my god, where's my little plug that converts the mic into the thing. He's like, Oh, I had to borrow that here. So funny. Yeah, we know what we're doing. We know we're doing well. This is cool. So the collaboration piece is really hot. I mean, people jump out of these corporate environments, and whether they're forced out like you were Jason or I don't, again, I don't believe that, and, or whether you ultimately make the jump even after thinking about it for a while. But you know, you've got to get the help. What would you guys share about your partnership and coming together for the pockets? Like, how did you come up with that idea? I think, I think this is another tribal attempt here and making something happen. And

Beth Rashleigh: 29:00

like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna let it's pretty funny. It's kind of a funny story. So Jason and I, so we were in that original mastermind together, where we we met, and then the pandemic happened in that group kind of shut down. And I think like, early 2021, Jason reached out and said, Hey, I'm gonna pull a couple of people together again, because I think everyone tribe, yeah, like, everybody's feeling lonely. Like, let's get a group of people. So it was some of the people that had been in our original group with a couple of ads. And we started meeting monthly, and I think we were at a lunch or something. And we had both gotten really into Ted lasso. And I think Jason was telling some story from season one. And I had also been watching and come to the realization that it was a show about leadership, like, what the heck is this crazy, awesome, fantastic show that really ends up being about leadership. And we had a really interesting conversation at lunch about it. I remember. And I don't even remember if we said it out loud at that meeting. But I just kept thinking, this is a podcast, like this is absolutely a podcast, and I've been wanting to do

Jason Barnaby: 29:58

like you. So I mean, clearly your memory is better than mine. But I remember you saying something like we should do like it was like that. Just like what you did at the beginning of this about the book. You're like, we should read a book together. You're like, we should do a podcast together. I was like, you know, and I'm, I'm a seven on the Enneagram. So I'm a yes person to pretty much. I'm like, Sure, let's Yeah, let's do that. So I was like, Yeah, that sounds great. And then we didn't really talk about it. And then some time went by, and and you I think you wrote me an email, and you were like, Hey, are we doing this? Or maybe it was a text message like, are we going to do this or not?

Beth Rashleigh: 30:32

Well, I think, yeah, I think what I did is like, I couldn't get the idea out of my head. So I started going through the show. I remember I was rewatching season one. And like making notes like where are the conversation points, like where are the leadership threads we could pull here and I couldn't get out of my head and I think during one of those sessions, I emailed Do you want I was like, I'm putting time on our calendars like, I'm Yeah, that's what we're doing this like I've just period we're doing it, we'll figure it out. And so we started meeting about it, I want to say maybe late 2021 and launched in early 2022. We hope you're enjoying listening to this episode of Coffee with Nicola. Make sure to subscribe so that you never miss an episode and follow Coffee with Nicoa on Instagram to find inspiring content that will help you begin creating your life by design.

Jason Barnaby: 31:19

Well, and here's what I love about this partnership, because and I was I was giggling this morning. Because I think, I don't know if you know what I'm going to talk if what I'm going to say Beth, but like, I was giggling this morning, because it just perfectly encapsulates everything. So so she texted me this morning. At like, she texted me this morning. It's funny, because because it's like, it's she says, Good morning, just a reminder that we recorded 830. So you see it in anything sums up this partnership, it has been she has been more responsive. Because here's when here's the thing, when we got on the phone call to talk about doing a podcast, I was like, Look, I've, I've been on lots of podcasts, I would love to do a podcast, I think it would be awesome. I'm not technical. I don't have a desire to be technical. I don't want to learn how to edit. And she goes, that's great. Because she said I actually liked that stuff. And I want to and that's all. That's all you have to tell me. And so here's here's what I love. We're both very, very creative people, but in very different ways. Yeah. I feel like Beth is very, like systematic and, and like, I loved recording our podcast together. Because and we've said this, we may have even set it on on the mic. But like, we didn't really care if people listen, because we had so much fun just doing it. And I'm telling you, I always looked forward to the conversations because I always and I still do. I'm sure it will happen today. I've always, I always learned something when I'm talking with Beth. And so to know that that partnership existed, and you know, we can you could bring strengths into this or whatever it is like, if you would have told me like if she would have if she would have done that meeting and said, Great, let's do this podcast, can you? Like, can we split the editing, I probably would have said yes, because I wanted to do it. But I would have been terrible at it. And she and I would have been frustrated, I would have felt a lot of shame around like not being able to do it. And that's just not my jam. And so like helping put that structure, which she's super great at putting that structure around everything that I could come into, and then use that structure to be creative was a lot of what I think was the magic because we would we shared a Google Doc and we would put notes in there. But like we just got on the mic, most part and just read Oh, yeah. But there was a structure in place that that helped us do that. And the other thing that I think is really important for people who are listening to this and who are like, you know, I, I wish I could or I wish somebody would or that's a good idea. And I went, Beth was like I'm putting time on our calendar. She didn't ask me, she just said I'm putting time on her calendar. And if this doesn't work, then you know, accept it or reject it. Give me another date, but I'm putting time on her. Yeah. And it's done. And now the ball is in your court. And I think if she would have said like, hey, what days work? I have ADHD, I would have been like a week later, like, oh, yeah, those days used to work, but they don't work anymore. And, and, and like the patience that she had with somebody like me because I do have ADHD and my I do have squirrel brain and all those things. And Beth, I I don't know if I've ever said this to you Beth, but like it's, it's so meaningful to me that you say that, like don't say this, that you that you saw me for who I was, like and how I am. And you just and it wasn't ever this like, ah, you know, can we can? I guess I'll tell ya for sure. Like, fuck, you know, here's jet like that, you know, here he goes again. It was just like, she knew, like, she knew what she was getting into and agreed to that and then therefore wasn't frustrated on the other side. Yeah. And that for me was like, you know, like, cue wind beneath my wings or whatever the hell you want to do. You know, like, that's, it was it was so meaningful to me and allowed me to Be In My superpower and be creative in that way that that I'm really good at because I'm not good at all that others. I'm just

Nicoa Coach: 35:59

have to know that people have to know that what and what you said before about if she'd said, Could we split it? I probably would have said yes. And I hope you would not do that in the future. I hope you would say exactly what you just articulated as the priority, which is, I know my sweet spot. And because I can I did the same circus different tent after I left the corporate world. And I was presenting the same text and emails on Sunday nights as I was in the corporate world. And I thought, wait a minute, what do I really want? So sounds like you've really found your sweet spot with each other complementary skills. Yeah, and you put a structure in place, so you can't so this is a takeaway, you cannot wing this shit. You can't. Except for that. Yeah. Right before the episode when I Googled, can you I mean, you

Beth Rashleigh: 36:48

can when you can wing some shit you can't wing all the shit is maybe like you gotta have

Jason Barnaby: 36:54

resolved then if your wing and all that all you're doing is flat. Right?

Beth Rashleigh: 36:59

You're not gonna get anywhere. And I think that like just to counterbalance what Jason just said, and I appreciate all those super kind words. I wish more people like I think when you work with neurodivergent people like you have to understand like Jason has tremendous strength to bring to the table. Anybody who's ever seen him speak live can speak to that. Like he's amazing. If you ever get a chance to see Jason on stage that's watching magic happen in a room that does does it require some channeling sometimes and some structuring and some corralling? You bet but is what you get absolutely worth that work, and absolutely a life changing, changing experience for the people who listen to our show. Yeah. And I think that that appreciation has to be there. And I wish it was there more like I just I wish that more people. And I

Jason Barnaby: 37:50

totally agree with that Beth. And I will just I will say that I I have spent until I really got out on my own Well, I would say maybe a year before I left the corporate world and started on my own journey and like digging into my own shit. Like, this was a project where I knew that I didn't have strengths that you had, that were that were necessary, and didn't feel shame about that. Yeah. And I, I've, I have definitely spent a lot of my time like beating myself up for the shit that I'm really bad at. And I'm and the fact of the matter is, I'm never going to be I mean, I could work for the rest of my life. It's the whole strengths thing. And I might be average. But all that time that I'm spending, I'm not spending on my strengths. Yeah. And this was an opportunity to do that. And I think that's, that's why we both enjoyed it, why it was successful. Why, you know, people have reached out and said, Thank you for doing this thing. That's why we're on your podcast right now. Like,

Nicoa Coach: 38:52

but you're talking about emotions. And you know, and I think about emotional awareness and intelligence, you said, when you started doing the work, you know, and started looking at your own shit. I talked about the tipsy. BFF my tipsy BFF who's out there. She wants me to do whatever I want to do. And my Gremlins like, Are you sure? But my tip DVFS like, Oh, are we gonna wing it today? Great. Okay, let me get some more wine. Watch you, you know, she. But But I have to know, oh, are you going to be ashamed about what you just said? You're going to sit there for next 10 minutes? Makoa? And self disparage? I mean, how what was the work? You guys say that you referenced Enneagram? Which I don't know if our listeners know what that is. But you talk about it a lot throughout the podcast as well, your podcast. And I'm curious, Could one of you maybe share? Is that part of how you did that self work and got to know yourself better? Was that a tool you used? Or is that different?

Beth Rashleigh: 39:46

Yeah, I think both of us have a pretty powerful personal stories with the Enneagram work. And I did like I'll just quick quickly shout out another friend of ours. Rachel Pretz. That's who I that's who I started learning. I just had lunch with her yesterday, by the way. She says hi. She said to say hi. Oh, she she's really gotten deep into using Enneagram with her coaching clients. And I got super curious about it wanted to learn more. She did a program I believe during the pandemic, I'm pretty sure for coaches to learn more about the Enneagram and I decided to do that mostly as a support to her like a little bit of curiosity but also wanted to be supportive of a friend who was running a program and so I signed up and it really changed my life. Because I thought I was a certain Enneagram number and I it turns out I was not in fact that Intagram number I was a different number. I'm actually a nine which can be tricky to land on because nines can be kind of shaped shapeshifting and that really resonates with me nines like their deep desire is for peace. conflict free zones. So you need me to be something Sure, no problem. If that avoids conflict, I can absolutely do that. Right. Like, that's part of my wiring, but like fully understanding the impact that that desire has on the choices I make the people I surround myself with my relationships with people, and really digging into when does that serve me? And when is it a pile of bullshit that I need to leave at the curb? has been really powerful for me over the last couple of years.

Nicoa Coach: 41:20

So the Enneagram to summarize is how many so you know, I'm an energy leadership girl. So when you say, right, you're a nine. I'm thinking heavy level for caregiver energy. Right? Maybe maybe not. Yeah,

Beth Rashleigh: 41:35

I mean, I'm when I started doing energy leadership work. I was a four three, which Yeah. I have have ascended slightly since. Yeah, I think there is definitely a caregiver component. Yeah. So for sure. Tonight.

Nicoa Coach: 41:50

Jason, Could you summarize what Enneagram is for you and how you've leveraged it?

Jason Barnaby: 41:56

Yeah, so I would say for me, I was similar. I thought that I was a different number. And then I went to a day and a half, long live.

Beth Rashleigh: 42:05

I knew that what number could you have possibly been? Besides the seven? What did you think?

Jason Barnaby: 42:09

What what do you what do you think?

Beth Rashleigh: 42:13

Did you think you were two?

Jason Barnaby: 42:15

No, I thought it was a three. All right. Oh, I

Nicoa Coach: 42:19

know what it is. I did read something once.

Jason Barnaby: 42:26

So for me, you know, I'm, and I will, I will say and this is something I learned when I got certified in the Enneagram. I like the way that this was phrased in my, in my program that I will say that I that I know truly that I'm a seven but I still have a lot of three energy. Yeah, that's one of the things that they say which which I really like. What it did for me was when I went through the debrief, and you know the scores, yeah, okay, fine. The how you act? Okay, what's hard for you to do? Sure. But for me, what's what sets the Enneagram apart from like strengths finders and disk and and predictive index, and some of those others that I've done is the Enneagram gets at the why, behind your what? And your how, and for me, I will never forget the person who said, so the core core motivator for the Enneagram. Seven is fear. And I literally, I literally looked at them, and I was like that I'm not afraid of anything. Like I moved to Europe with two duffel bags, and didn't speak the language and opened a coffee shop the first year I was there and and and went to Colorado, you know, all the things. And the, you know, the person, they were good coach, they let me rant and then they looked and they said no, no, no, no. I said it's not the fear of the doing the things. It's the fear of the sitting still when you're not doing the things and I was like, Oh my Oh, ah, oh, shit. And then what I did was I just went back I was like, oh, Randy Europe, open a coffee shop up, wins, call it like, yep, running, running, running, still running, running, running. And that, for me was like the big aha moment. And so much so that when I do individual coaching, I only I start with the Enneagram as a foundational tool, because you've got to get to the why behind all the other stuff.

Nicoa Coach: 44:22

That's beautiful. Because I think that number one fear in life is not public speaking. It's not. You know, it's sitting alone with your own thoughts.

Beth Rashleigh: 44:32

It's not death for some people, not for everybody. Yes,

Nicoa Coach: 44:35

the person. Do. Some people do. Yeah. And they some

Beth Rashleigh: 44:39

people think that their thoughts are fascinating. Oh, I

Jason Barnaby: 44:44

don't know why. Sit in those.

Beth Rashleigh: 44:46

You see me talk to Enneagram for about feelings. They'll have everything to tell you about it.

Nicoa Coach: 44:53

Oh, maybe I know. Maybe I'm a four.

Beth Rashleigh: 44:58

Maybe I don't know, I could see that too. Anyway, I think the thing about the Enneagram tool like I'm certified in a bunch of assessments, I think the Enneagram is great for if you're at a spot in your life where you need to do some deep internal work. It is an incredibly deep as shakes sorry. deep deep tool. I don't think personally it's a great team tool. Okay, I would never do it with a large team. You because it is so deep. It's also really easy to miss diagnose yourself really easy to miss diagnose others, or miss type others. So it's a tool I use with care in very specific situations. But I will also attest to that it has been an incredibly powerful tool for me and for several of my clients.

Nicoa Coach: 45:42

You know, the biggest takeaway I am hearing from you guys is we and I do it too, but we've got to use the tool rules. You can't just keep sitting there suffering day in and day out and not do the work. You know, at what point did you realize you needed to do the work, Jason? I mean, and I asked you because you're a man. And with all due respect, I think our men need a lot of help right now. And they're not getting the support and the emotional support that they deserve and need and they're afraid. They're based in fear. You know, I'm there in their heads. I don't know, what do you think?

Jason Barnaby: 46:17

For me, it was I would say, as tends to happen to right, it comes from people in your life that see things that are so clear to them. my eight year old daughter asked me one day in the kitchen when I was still in the corporate world, she goes, I mean, it was just out of the blue. She goes, Daddy, do you like your job? And I was like, Oh, shit, she knows, like, because I was miserable. And I was like, Well, you know, I was like that, and I gave her some be like, Yeah, I did like it. There's parts of it. I like parts of it. I don't like but you know, we have insurance, and it's a paycheck, and blah, blah, blah. And I went that, you know, I tried to dumb it down enough that, you know, she understood those things. And I, at the end, I was like, does that make sense? And she goes, Yeah, I still think you need a new job.

Nicoa Coach: 47:08

Awesome.

Jason Barnaby: 47:09

Let's serve her. And I was like, wow. And you know, my wife and I had, you know, we've been married for 26 years. We had, we had our own, you know, struggles and things. And I didn't really know that I was ADHD until my son was diagnosed with ADHD. And we were going through his stuff. And I was like, Oh, my God, that's. And so I think just that combination of all those things, and then, you know, as has been happened in my life, a lot, my wife was, you know, a couple years ahead of the curve, and she had been going to see a therapist and then actually just finished a master's degree to become a therapist. And as she was in therapy, she was like, Hey, she goes, maybe she goes, I'm really getting a lot out of this therapy thing. Maybe you would benefit from that. And I was like, Oh, I don't think so. But you know, thanks me, you know, yeah. And then, and then, you know, she, she would gently nudge, you know, every couple months. And so finally, I was like, I was like, I don't even know what that means, like, go to therapy. And what she said is what I've shared a lot, and I've, and I've, and she's so wise, and this was so true. And she said, here's the deal. She said, when you go to therapy, your therapist has your best interest, and you're back 100% of the time. And I was like, you know, and again, been married for a really long time, my wife and I don't have each other's back 100% of the time, right? Like, yeah, I would love to say that we do, but we're selfish and we're human. And we have, you know, we get hurt and we do stupid shit. But I've, I'm approaching pretty quickly, the three year mark of being in therapy on a very regular basis. And my biggest regret is that I didn't start 25 years ago. Because I have really seen like, he reminds me, like, hey, remember when you said this thing, remember, like, when when you showed up this way, and this happened. And remember when you did this, like, he reminds me that I'm not the product of my thoughts. He reminds me that I'm not. I'm not equal to my latest failure. And, and reminds me of the things that we've been working on in the tools to get out of the muck in the mire. And it has been life changing so much so that every opportunity that I have, I think I started doing this about a year ago. Every opportunity I have to speak I there is a slide about. It says live laugh, go to third

Nicoa Coach: 49:45

love it. Now, if you're not going to therapy, you need to go to therapy, and you need a coach. Because yeah, I mean, you guys are coaching. I mean, the coaching work is your biggest 100% of the time, being your biggest cheerleader. What do you want? Hell, yeah. What else you want most go figure that out. And the therapist can help you with the why am I doing that again? You know, hope that therapist knows your Enneagram that's helpful. Right? Right. Yeah, they do. Yeah.

Beth Rashleigh: 50:14

Well, and just for people who are curious about therapy, too, and maybe you haven't ever experienced that we actually had Jason and his wife ever is therapy on. I think it's episode one of season two of our podcast. And it was

Jason Barnaby: 50:29

actually my therapist and his wife who so it's my therapist and his wife. His wife is my wife's therapist. Oh, that's awesome.

Beth Rashleigh: 50:37

Yeah, it was really good. Taylor. A really interesting conversation. Yeah.

Nicoa Coach: 50:42

Well, we can talk all day and especially with two people I feel like I'm only just tapping in into the surface Excuse me, but I wonder maybe we hope everybody's you know googling therapists right now. But let's go quickly and get some takeaways from your experience together in partnership over the podcast. You know, I wrote down you, what has this experience taught you about yourself? And which of the TED Lhasa leadership tips and tricks? Have you adopted for yourself?

Beth Rashleigh: 51:17

She, where would we even begin?

Nicoa Coach: 51:20

You both? You Jason bought a red thong. So that helps and oh, sorry, that's a spoiler.

Beth Rashleigh: 51:28

Like killer beer. He does a killer beard impression like, could be red thong.

Nicoa Coach: 51:35

And yeah, best started, you know, dressing accordingly. Like, do you wear all pink now? Like, what's her face?

Beth Rashleigh: 51:43

No, I could not pull off Kaylee's. Look, if I if I tried. That is not you. You could? Yeah. Okay, I'm going first, Jason, I'm cutting in because I'm afraid you're gonna steal mine. And I'm selfish like that. So fair. So I think the biggest like it would be hard to put into words, the impact I think the show has had on me as a person, obviously, as we've spent so much time with it with the podcast. But I think the other really powerful thing about it is that I can't tell you how many people that we now talk to about the show that the show has also had that kind of impact on just the process of of watching those characters go through life in this very vulnerable way, I think has really changed people. And I hope that's a lesson for us all that, that this kind of show is important. But I think the the I mean, this show just can we just talk about how it was the best series finale maybe ever made? Just killer and the the lesson that will stay with me and the one that has really stuck with me this year is in the very last episode, there's a really great Diamond Dogs meeting with where Roy finally becomes a diamond dog. Yeah. And he's talking about like he's been, man, he's been doing all this work on himself and dammit, he's still just himself and how frustrated he is with that. And Higgins has this great line about all we can do is keep asking for help and moving towards better. Like that's it. That's all you can do. And the number of times I have said that to myself since that episode, I wouldn't even be able to count. Like I think that's just such a great recap of like what it is to be a human. Yeah, we all just have to move towards better. That's it. I look it up and you move towards better. Yeah, like that's, that's how you get through life

Nicoa Coach: 53:37

better that feels good for you what serving you in that moment, what feels better. But you know, I do want to remind people that you're enough, even if you're not moving towards better, but you're a human, which means you can't help but move towards better. You're constantly expanding. And so I did love that episode so much. It was the vulnerability piece is key that I can see how that would have had a big impact on you. What about you, Jason?

Jason Barnaby: 54:05

Gosh, I'm actually glad Beth went first because I'm sitting here with a list of stuff in my head and you're

Beth Rashleigh: 54:10

welcome. It wasn't selfish of me was I was being held there's

Jason Barnaby: 54:14

there's so many but I will tell you the scene that I have probably gone back and watched more times and it shows up on Instagram reels because I always like it when ever I see it. Is the dark scene with Reaper. Yeah, I love it. It's, it's, I love it in so many ways. Because the one of the things that I love is that there's a there's a kind of a left handed, no pun intended, but there's like this sideways of slash left handed reference to The Princess Bride. When he's thrown the darts. And he's like, and Rupert goes, Oh, I forgot I had these and, and Ted goes, Oh, I forgot. I'm lifting. And I was like, oh, it's very Princess Bride ask and they did a lot of that which a nonwhite I don't know if I told you this, but But I started last week watching the whole series again. Yeah, I watched it a couple of weeks ago from start to finish. And there's there's so much that I'm like shit I missed that I missed that didn't see that

Beth Rashleigh: 55:12

was really good. I hope we time before we recorded the last episodes. Because there are so many references.

Jason Barnaby: 55:18

Oh, good. So many. But the thing that the thing that I really liked about that whole thing is the curiosity piece. And I have always I didn't realize until about six years ago when I read it, I think in a Harvard Business Review article that a hallmark characteristic of a good leader is somebody who's constantly curious. And I have always described myself as constantly curious, like literally that was the phrase that I used. And so when he's talking about this whole curiosity thing, thing. And what I love is within that he shares that thing about his dad dying that Rebecca didn't know. And they show her face. And she's like, she's like, oh, like, there's, there's a door that opened that I didn't see. And you know how he's just he's confident and who he is and what he does. And I just love the very end where he like, he has this thing that he calls to mind, which I think is like home in that situation. He's like barbecue sauce, and then he hits the he hits the bullseye. And it's just like that whole mindset of like, being curious yourself and being confident. And also, like, he puts Rupert in his place and teaches Rupert like, basically says, You're an asshole, because you're not curious. But I'm not going to say any of that. I'm just going to show you through my actions and my abilities, and use that as a teaching thing. And to me, there is no, there. There's so much that we learn when we ask a question without the intent of giving our own answer. And we just listen. And I am constantly amazed at the things that I learned when I asked one of my favorite, probably my favorite networking question, when I meet new people, as I said, Tell me the tell me the story of how you got here. And then I just shut up. And they they typically I've never once Nicoa had somebody go? No, because we love to talk about our signs, right. And so it's so awesome when you give that invitation. And you truly are dialed in, because I've been asked that question before, but you can tell by the look on the face of the person you're talking to. They're just waiting for you to stop talking so they can talk. And that's not curiosity. That's just I don't know what that is. But I've just seen the benefits of curiosity. And the benefit of also saying like, I don't know, yeah, and I work with so many leaders who are terrified to say, I don't know, and I think I don't know, is a really powerful response to something as long as you're willing to go do the work on the other side, right, and figure it out. Sure.

Nicoa Coach: 58:01

I think confidence is what we're really talking about here. And how do we gain that self confidence is we have to kind of lie, cheat and steal our way back into belief system that we actually know our own truth and it's okay to be us. And it's okay to not, you know, defend. It's okay to trust that my truth is my truth and you can have a different one. And, and that's really what Ted lasso embodies. And he's, you know, what my favorite part is his playfulness. I think he's hilarious. And I'm a goober like him. I'm telling dad jokes. I'm making silly, you know, references. I think quickly, like he does, at least I think I do. I just love that about him. And it makes me happy to watch that show. So if, if any y'all listening have been under a rock for the past two years. I mean, come on, go watch it right now.

Jason Barnaby: 58:53

Seriously, get the free Apple TV for a month binge watch it.

Beth Rashleigh: 58:57

It won't take you longer than a week.

Nicoa Coach: 59:00

You can do it. But don't you think you guys could do a whole other season? Where you if you're both? Are you watching it now? And you're finding new things? I think there's another season and you do it in the context of you know, Diamond Dogs podcast, Ted lasso in the new way of work, right? How would we adapt? And think about like us at home? And how do we create the tribe? From the Zoom calls? How do we find that vulnerability when we're just a snapshot on a screen? You know, how do we find our truth and confidence when we don't really want to go into the office? And are we willing to stand true to what we want in our life by design and not go in the office? I have so many thoughts.

Beth Rashleigh: 59:45

Yeah, I think that's all interesting. seed planting for sure. Well, let that marinate.

Nicoa Coach: 59:51

I would be your biggest fan and be listening for sure. And I'm gonna go back and listen to your your whole season the three seasons, I guess you've done well send people there. What are you guys working on now that I want to give you a chance to have this platform to share how people could get in touch with you. You know, is there any big events coming up? You know, why don't you go first Beth.

Beth Rashleigh: 1:00:17

I was really hoping Jason would go first this time.

Jason Barnaby: 1:00:21

I would like to go first.

Beth Rashleigh: 1:00:23

Because this is not my favorite part of being clear delete,

Nicoa Coach: 1:00:28

start over.

Unknown: 1:00:32

Okay, so

Beth Rashleigh: 1:00:34

Jason is cracking up because it gives me a lot of time. If you just want to make a nine as uncomfortable as humanly possible. Ask them to talk about themselves and and what they might need from you and love you You just not. It's not my happy place, but

Jason Barnaby: 1:00:53

it's mine, too. By the way, yes, I

Beth Rashleigh: 1:00:55

know you love putting me exactly where she just put me so yes,

Jason Barnaby: 1:00:59

that's why I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna eat my popcorn over here and

Beth Rashleigh: 1:01:03

yeah, welcome anyway. So yes, for folks who might be interested in connecting and learning more I am I just have a couple slots right now for private coaching. So if anybody's looking for a coach, obviously to coach also amazing and so as Jason but if there's something that you're working on that you think I might be able to help you with, I'm always happy to do discovery calls and you can reach me via my website, which I'm sure Nico will link and another great place to learn more about me is to buy the book. It's available everywhere you buy books, crisis proof leadership,

Nicoa Coach: 1:01:37

crisis proof leadership. Absolutely. And you deserve to celebrate yourself and no more hedging and couching itself disparaging. No

Beth Rashleigh: 1:01:45

and the word no,

Nicoa Coach: 1:01:47

you're not language. Use your

Beth Rashleigh: 1:01:50

my happy. It's not my happy place. Well,

Jason Barnaby: 1:01:54

but it is mine too.

Beth Rashleigh: 1:01:55

Yeah. Go ahead. Jason. Go, you talked about you talked about Jason, can we talk about Jason because I'm really comfortable with that.

Nicoa Coach: 1:02:01

Oh, Jason, go Jason.

Jason Barnaby: 1:02:04

So one of the things that I am currently doing that I'm really enjoying is I am a fractional sales leader for an organization because I had a recruiter asked me, Would you rather do the HR work? Or would you rather be in sales? And I said, actually, that's awesome. First of all, it's a great question. Secondly, I would choose sales with a caveat. I would, because I love sales. I love relationship building. I love solution, creating, but I love to develop people. And that that is my jam. So if you are an organization that is like, we need, like, we just I don't have time to deal with the sales thing. But I know it needs some assistance. That would be great. I love if I could do one thing for the rest of my life it would be to get on stage. I, I got bitten by that bug when I was 12 years old and made a speech in front of my middle school to run for president which I want by the way. Of course he did. Yeah, of course he did. And was and was like this, they you know, they laughed at the joke they clapped at the end. And it wasn't like this, like straight off. Like with my chest out. It was like straight off with like, that was fun. Yeah. Like, how can I? How can I do more of that. So if you're looking for somebody who can bring actionable inspiration to your people, where they will leave with minimum, two actionable things that they can do, even why they're in the session with me, but for sure, soon after, I would love to talk to you and come to your come to your organization and fire up your people. And then the other thing I have, I would say right now it's like on a, on an interview basis, I would take a coaching client if they were really willing to dig in and do the work and really commit financially, psychologically timewise all those things. Otherwise, it's just it's too the work is too important to do half assed, and I'm not interested in working with somebody who doesn't really want to,

Nicoa Coach: 1:04:14

you know, that is the most important thing that we've probably said today. Because I mean, I've had plenty of people pay me lots of money for me to be their arm candy, their executive coach, and after a while I have to break up with him. And that's hard to do when you're getting a good paycheck. You're like, dude, either you're in or you're out. So how, how could we help someone? Let's talk about it for just a second before we wrap up, how could we help someone know if they are willing

Beth Rashleigh: 1:04:44

to enter interesting question. And I have a couple clients so I have been doing a lot of work lately with a dear friend of mine who her business is just exploding in the not for profit space. So she's she's needed some coaching, assistants and some operations assistance and I've been helping her a lot and I am because that's more programmatic coaching. You do get some clients that aren't necessarily there of their own volition. Their organization is paying for this and they're they're

Jason Barnaby: 1:05:13

involved and told,

Nicoa Coach: 1:05:15

oh my god, I'm writing that down. So funny. I guess a lot of

Beth Rashleigh: 1:05:18

people. Yeah, and people people can either embrace that voluntold Enos and say, Okay, what's here for me and how do I want to use this that's been paid for by my company, or they can dig their feet in and and decide they're perfect and they don't need to change anything. And I think that's the difference. Like if if there are some things about yourself that you're curious about that you want to learn more about, that you're interested in, like, picking some scabs off and like getting getting underneath Like what what might be there for you, especially as a leader? If you're walking around uninterested in learning more as a leader, I'm concerned like that that is not a mindset to be in. If you think you've got leadership. You don't I am certain like I would I would bet a million dollars on that. So I'm always much more excited to work with clients who see that there's work still to do, because there is we all still have work. Yeah, all of us.

Jason Barnaby: 1:06:19

Yeah, I would say, I'll speak more to the, to the, as you said earlier, Nicoa, the the male part of this. I've worked with several male leaders who think that leading by fear is the way to lead. They keep everybody at arm's distance, because they have impostor syndrome so badly, and are convinced that they're the only ones in the world who are dealing with this thing, which, if you're listening, it's simply not true. Every single exec that I've coached has some level unusually high of impostor syndrome. So if and I would say for me, like, if you if you're getting up on more days than not, and thinking this can't be all there is. And if that that's not leaving you, you need to answer that because you will, you will find something to fill that void with drugs, affairs, where you'll become a workaholic, you'll you'll numb out with, you know, something will fill that hole. And eventually, that won't be enough. And if you can't shake it, you need to go. You need to get in touch with somebody to just have a discovery session. I see all these people all the time that coach like, let's have a discovery. Yeah, we have a good friend, Brandon Wilson, he's a great coach, he does an hour long, free session with people. And you get a real taste of what his coaching would be like. And I admire that. And there are people who do it and they're like, don't want to do that. And then other people are like, this is exactly what I need. And and by the way, you're not probably you, you may or may not find the right coach, like, right away, right? It's like trying your favorite coffee drink or your favorite cereal or whatever the thing. You'll you'll have to try some different things on and be willing to go explore. Yeah,

Nicoa Coach: 1:08:20

those are as great summary. I mean, and you know, that pool, if you're still feeling the pool, like you called it Beth, you know, if you really are feeling that pool, and you realize I'm not the only one I'm not alone, then that's the foundation for then asking how willing am I? If I'm Yeah, what do I what do we say and energy leadership? What do you want? How's what you're doing, getting you what you want? If you're not getting what you want? Are you willing to try a different way? And we can help you guys do that. And thank you. The vulnerability has been awesome. The curiosity, the hats of Curiosity has been great. If people can take those tips away from them. I just want to thank you guys for joining me today. Any last words of wisdom before we wrap up?

Beth Rashleigh: 1:09:08

I don't know what they would be like, What wisdom do we have left? I feel like we left it all on the table. But I haven't I

Jason Barnaby: 1:09:15

would have won. I would have won and I mean this very sincerely find people in your life. Like Beth.

Beth Rashleigh: 1:09:24

Oh, bless your hearts stop. You're gonna make me blush again.

Jason Barnaby: 1:09:30

And find lots of Beth's that have different skill sets who will be who will call you on your shit who will love you as you are who will challenge you not to stay in the same place. Because we we are not meant to do this alone.

Nicoa Coach: 1:09:45

We are not. And I feel like I just added you to my tribe. And so I

Jason Barnaby: 1:09:51

absolutely did. Whether you wanted to or not, you're in

Beth Rashleigh: 1:09:56

here now. So good luck with us.

Nicoa Coach: 1:09:58

Thanks for joining me a lot on coffee with Nicoa I forgot to ask you though, Jason. It says you're a serious coffee junkie. What the heck? Why did I don't even stop that. Do you have coffee in your cup right now?

Jason Barnaby: 1:10:11

No, I already drank it but I did and what kind of coffee are you drinking today? So I am an espresso person because I do like espresso based drinks and I was drinking a number eight blue Oh dassia with a splash of milk

Nicoa Coach: 1:10:27

blue. Oh dassia with a splash of milk. And I'm drinking a double espresso with a steamed oat milk in it and a little cinnamon on top. This is my daily espresso machine if you you know what I've never actually talked about what I was drinking on these. I've done 55 of these. I've never mentioned it

Unknown: 1:10:49

We never talked about the actual Sorry. Yeah. You never talked about the coffee

Beth Rashleigh: 1:10:55

to ask everybody their coffee order. I

Nicoa Coach: 1:10:57

know I gotta get. I gotta take some tips from Jason with all the the, you know, branding and the Yeah, you guys are the best. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love you both. And Barry, welcome. Thank you. We'll stay in touch for sure.

Jennifer Gardner: 1:11:16

Thanks for joining us for a caffeinated conversation. Subscribe to Coffee with Nicola for more stories from people living a life by design. You can also find inspiration on Instagram. Just follow Coffee with Nicoa and check out our website Coffee with nicoa.com and that's Nicoa N IC O A. We look forward to talking with you soon. And enjoy your coffee between now and then wait