S1 EP36: KATIA RAVÉ

Katia Ravé is an amazing guest! She and Nicoa talk all things LIFE BY DESIGN from global living to the American Dream to  Conscious Coupling! Katia is a dynamic leadership coach dedicated to empowering leaders to achieve extraordinary results in both their personal and professional lives and in this conversation she INTENTIONALLY reminds us that"Winning Is Never Accidental"!
Speaking the same language they are FAST FRIENDS NOW!! Of course they are...
LIFE BY DESIGN Babyyy!

Connect with Katia:

Website: www.impactleaderscoaching.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/impactleaders/

Email: katia@katiarave.com

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Transcript

Nicoa Coach: 0:01

Grab your coffee and join me Nicoa For a caffeinated conversation about life I'll be talking to people who have chosen to walk their own paths and just like me are creating a life by design. I hope it will give you the inspiration you need to do exactly the same. Now, Katya, I am so glad that you have joined us here on coffee with Nicoa. Cartier Ravi, the most beautiful name, you are the most fabulous woman I have ever seen in a profile outline on LinkedIn, and tell everybody how in the world we got connected.

KATIA RAVÉ: 0:40

Oh my gosh. So I had decided this year, my intention is really to create a real connection, whether we on social media or not. So I was going through my LinkedIn and eliminating the people who were who are not, you know, a good fit for me. And and then I saw your profile. And I was like, How can we not know each other? We don't live so far from each other. So I decided to contact you and you were so receptive, and so kind and, and here we are.

Nicoa Coach: 1:13

And here we are. And you're right. I was, as I mentioned before, I was stalking you prior to our interview as a good podcast host will do. And I was like wait a minute she lives well are you actually are you speaking to us today from Martin nice

KATIA RAVÉ: 1:28

or ocean is magic. As you can see the behind me, I put myself into a tiny room who we have one room who has air conditioning into the whole house. So that's why I am that way I could have, you know, some makeup and not running and not be like everywhere I am pretty much I want to be in my bathing suit since I'm here. So I was like now I get to be very proper for you today. So I am talking to you from the Caribbean.

Nicoa Coach: 1:57

From the Caribbean. And ladies and gentlemen, this is a life by design if I have ever seen why I love it, because the whole purpose of these interviews is to help people recognize that they have the power to create any reality they want in their lifetime. And they can change it up at any point. So I look forward to like diving in, I'm gonna give a little background of you. But then diving into what it felt like to be you to create this reality. So if you're not in Martinique, you're down the road here, right ocean Isle or Wrightsville Beach. I don't even know. Yeah,

KATIA RAVÉ: 2:33

exactly right outside that show.

Nicoa Coach: 2:37

Oh, lovely. The lovely Shalom. Well, I'm originally from Wilmington. So it's really exciting when I meet new people that, you know, I usually see a lot of locals. But it's changed so much since I came back. So I'm really glad you reached out. So when you come back we have to, we have to make friends in person. So everybody, we are speaking to a fabulous individual who has a history of doing everything from starting her own salon and spa back in the day to getting her GED at the age of 40. And getting her bachelor's degree at the age of 42. She went on to become the fabulous photo journalist she's been highlighted in different magazines. And she's a global leader speaking three languages and now a powerful executive coach, not only on her own, but in partnership with her husband. They have their own coaching and professional development business. And you don't even I don't know if you knew this, Katia. But we are both Brady Bunch. Family. Really? Oh, I have six kids three and three, just like you

KATIA RAVÉ: 3:48

and your husband three and three. magic number. And

Nicoa Coach: 3:52

when did you guys connect with kids? Like how old were the kids? I'm curious.

KATIA RAVÉ: 3:57

They were theirs. So mine was the youngest. And she was 1314.

Nicoa Coach: 4:06

Gosh, so so they range in age now for how

KATIA RAVÉ: 4:11

my old My oldest is the oldest? 24 he's 25 We have everything in between and the youngest is 18

Nicoa Coach: 4:22

Well, you are just exactly where we are. My oldest is the 20 He's 26 and our youngest is 18. And this week, they are going off to college and we'll have three at NC State and three that are out with jobs and housing.

KATIA RAVÉ: 4:38

We don't have anymore in in college the baby Chloe is taking a year to figure it out. Which I love you know Oh

Nicoa Coach: 4:48

cool. Yeah, I love that too. A nice gap Yeah, good for her. It's because she hasn't global mother who knows that there's value in that I wish more Americans actually thought that way. Well, well. Let's jump into who is Katya? And what you know, your history is like, like, tell us a little bit about your foundation.

KATIA RAVÉ: 5:08

Okay, so I'm going to take you pretty much to the beginning of coming here in this country. So I was on 20 years old, and my baton, my payments, entrepreneurs, I've been very, very successful. And my dad had hair salons and very successful I did. And I was sick and tired of school and I wanted to do what he was doing. So that's the rap the night today I did in Europe with it's a lot of education to do that. And you don't judge this

Nicoa Coach: 5:45

earlier from France originally, right?

KATIA RAVÉ: 5:47

Yes. And I decided that I was going to continue to be able to have my own hair salon, and then to do to be able to teach it. So I did psychology accounting. And then in the middle of that I went to, to Paris to a huge event. And I saw there was an application to come to America, and they were taking only 22, French hairdressers, and that just kind of wanted to see where I was never thinking any anymore. I had a relationship. Everything was just kind of set for me. But I wanted to see where would I fit? And how into the round of so many applicants. How would I you know, what would be my finish number, and I was called back and call back and call back and and then I was one of the 22 was chosen to come here for 18 months? Which I said yes. Yeah, that's how I came, I wasn't speaking English, I came really with no money and, and really understood what it is to be an immigrant and to look at America as the place where we can realize other dreams than we want. And that's what What

Nicoa Coach: 7:00

did that feel like for you did that was it inspiring, overwhelming. So

KATIA RAVÉ: 7:05

very inspiring. I was supposed to stay for 18 months, and I love the American way I love them. I fell in love with the American people. And after 18 months, I decided to find someone who could sponsor me to get my green card, which I did, and and God and and you know, like Fast Forward couple of years get married, you know, started to have children. I went to New York and and then established myself in North Carolina. And the bug of entrepreneurship kind of kind of got to me so I was like, you know, it's gonna be great to to work as a hairdresser. But that's not where I want to be. And then, you know, open my own hair salon did great, made great money. And then really was thinking big. Like, this is the land of opportunity. So I opened a 3000 square feet spa, where we did the hair spa had, you know, obviously a lot of employees to go with that. And we had the best employees. The best product we you know, I conceived it from scratch, and hired the architect to work with the architects, that was an amazing journey. And yet we couldn't make the money then then we wanted at the end. And after five years, I decided to close the door. And one of these things Nicola, where you maybe can relate is I didn't see it as the spa fail. The SPA was a failure. It was Katya was the failure. You know, like taking it very personally and decided that I didn't want to have anything, anything to do with business anymore. And, you know, and decided to go back to school. So I was like, Okay, I want an education in this country. This is a redesigning that you do in America, you can change Korea at any time, which in other countries, it is not like that. So I was like, Okay, let's do this. So I did my GED, went back to school, got that and then applied for college and went and got a BFA graduated with honor. And this is when everything shifted for me. When I was in school, I still many so I was in an art school, I was at the Art Institute, and I so many creator design, chefs, photographers. Like everybody was in the art world. And I realized that they really owned what their craft by going to school. It was like how are they ever going to run their business and they didn't know how to run a business. And here they are asking me questions about running a business and my teachers are asking me a question, Hey, how are you running this business? And, and this is the click for me was to hire someone to go back to why did this I'm not work. And that was the I didn't want to be an imposter. I didn't want to coach people if I couldn't, even on my own figuring out what it was. And and that was the click for me.

Nicoa Coach: 10:13

Shake Oh, that's critical to be able to pause long enough to say, can I understand what my role was? You know, I'm really proud of you though. Because even though you self disparaged, I mean, what was that like when you fit when when you claimed that Katya failed? Because that's really how we shift is if we can get over that, you know, this now as a coach. But I mean, I've been there done that cradle to grave, and for years, I had a company, we had to shut down. But I didn't think I didn't actually feel like that. I was like, Well, that sucked. I beat myself up saying, I must not have been meant to do that I should have waited, or I should have listened to my gut, I shouldn't have done it. Not that I failed, but I wasn't in it for the right reasons. And that was my big lesson. But for you, you felt like oh, my God, I wanted to do that. And I couldn't make it happen. Yes,

KATIA RAVÉ: 11:08

I think for me, it was I had been so successful at everything and making money and you know, running the business and coming from, you know, a family of entrepreneurs. I was like, I'm missing something. So it had to be about me versus, you know, versus something, you know, something else. And the shift was really looking at obstacle as opportunities. And this is really something that I bring in my coaching, how can we look at obstacles as opportunity to grow? And that was the shift for me. I was like, you know, what,

Nicoa Coach: 11:40

I'm gonna you reframe. You reframed what, you made it all right.

KATIA RAVÉ: 11:44

And that moment was really crucial into where I'm at today. Because I so then, indeed, it wasn't me, indeed, there was a lack of understanding. If I would have done no coach, I would have not been, you know, it would have not happen. But it was, it was very simple. And sometimes that's it the difference between success. And we're going to call it failure, because that's what it that's what it was, I want to use the correct vocabulary for it. And it was so small, it was just my avatar, you see your avatar when you have hair salons is very different than the luxury avatar when you have a spa. And I had not changed anything. Yeah, my marketing anything. Like I just thought it was gonna be the same.

Nicoa Coach: 13:25

Ah, so your avatar is really the persona and the approach the image and the brand. Right? And that's what you mean. Yeah. So that brand, in many ways for many people, and it sounds like perhaps for you, as well becomes too tightly wound to your own personal identity.

KATIA RAVÉ: 13:44

Yes, that's exactly what it was. And the moment I was able to understand that was just like, oh my gosh, hello. And then I just went, you know, full time coaching and develop, you know, I do a lot of, you know, business coaching and for solopreneurs and then people were team and I realized I really love that and I got really deep into leadership understanding then sometimes it's not the strategy with missing sometimes it's a lot of our own leadership and where we act and how we are acting and what's our mindset and what do we bring from our culture? So yeah, so I've been doing it now nonstop and having a blast.

Nicoa Coach: 14:26

Oh, I can tell and the I listened to some of your testimonials. I mean, it's really you're having a profound impact. And one of the things that I was going to reference that I love the descriptions of you Katya talking about that. Katya is a polite Bulldog. And she's this business mogul, but you do it with such purpose and I pulled some language from your site to you do it based on a foundation of love and unity and connection and faith and trust and abundance and lots of hugs and kisses.

KATIA RAVÉ: 15:06

You know, this is very important. And I think that's, that's a part that most people miss is what's the intention? Like my intention everyday is to create that it's to create love, unity, connection, faith, trust and abundance and it doesn't change every day I wake up and of course it transcend into here before I get on the call. I was like okay, how am I gonna? How I'm going to bring and how am I going to create love unity connection, faith, trust in abundance into you know, into this for the public for the audience and when you're really driven by your intention and and what you want by your vision, then you are unstoppable. You know?

Nicoa Coach: 15:47

Of course I mean you You are unstoppable? Well, let's go back to you again. In that space, you became a photo journalist with your craft, right? And at what point did you begin to hone this transition towards stepping into coaching and realizing that love unity, connection, faith, trust and abundance? Were what you were all about. I mean, did you learn something about yourself during that photojournalism? Space? Yes.

KATIA RAVÉ: 16:17

So what what's really was happening is I was very successful giving my photos into photo stock. So I was, I had no money, I just come out of a divorce. And I really had no money. So I was like, Oh, the people who are in school with me, that don't know how to run a business, they don't know how to do photostock. So lets me do it for them. So they would give me the photos. And then I would, you know, hashtag which back then, as I said, wasn't cool. Like, nobody knew what hashtags I would ask target in a very special way. And, and I did that and study to coach them, this is what you get to do. And, and that that really was the beginning of coaching for me how to run the business, you know, how, how, also how to hire someone who know more than, than you that way you can focus on your craft, and you can, you know, you can have someone who does it. So I ended up doing this for student and for some of my teachers, and that's kind of was the the catalyst. And then I hired coaches, obviously, you know, like, I hired some of the best coaches out there. And one of the things that was very important for me is the how do I communicate my point of view on life? How do I communicate how I see the world and how I believe that I get to show up a certain way to create the world that I want to live because I get to walk, walk the walk really, versus just talking the chart. So this is, this is when my coaches, I was able to figure it out, then my point of view on life is winning is never accidental. I said that there was an you know, everywhere you see, you see, this is kind of my tagline. And I don't believe in to win and lose, I believe in Win win. How can I create a win? For both of us, that's what nobody's losing. So when you approach life like that, you kind of explore and you're like, Oh, well, that's, that's love. That's unity, that's been connecting with each other, that's being Woman to woman. I mean, there's so much to be said, and women who do the same word don't work together. And I wanted to create that due to my surroundings. So I really took what I believed I can create in this world, and what what world I want to live in, and I put it into a phrase, and it drives me every morning.

Nicoa Coach: 18:50

Winning is never accidental. No, I think that's exactly what a life by design is to we. And I say we have to define it in order to design right. And so you're really talking about intention, and leveraging the Win Win collaborative approach in unity in community to bring people together? Well, let's, let's go back to the work you had to do in order to get yourself to that stage that you're at now, like the work you were doing with coaches, which by the way, everybody, I always say do not hire a coach that either has never had one, or doesn't currently have a coach or a therapist either, by the way. You need a community. So what was some of the most powerful practices for you? You know, as simple as journaling or time for yourself? Could you share? Yes.

KATIA RAVÉ: 19:43

I unplug every morning.

Nicoa Coach: 19:45

So what do you mean by that?

KATIA RAVÉ: 19:47

So I do have a routine but my routine I believe, and when we are asleep, our ego This is the egos time to take over. You're sleeping, you're gonna have whatever dreams you have, and you wake up and sometimes we wake up with grouchy and we don't know why, like we just got rested. And so it's I call it the unplugging unplugging from the autopilot. So I physically like I'm in bed and I physically take something from you know, on the side of my head, like I would unplug and I unplugged the autopilot. And then I really do nothing before I do something. What does that mean? I focus on Hey, I am committed to creating a world of love, unity, connection, faith, trust and abundance. I say that and then I look at who am I what do I stand for? I stand for transformation. I stand for integrity. I stand for Win win. So looking at what do I stand And for I'm like, okay, and then I look at my husband, who's usually still sleeping under the pillow hiding. And, and I looked at him and I tell myself, how am I gonna make his life better today? How is today gonna be a better marriage than yesterday. And all of these things are things that I bring in. And I ground grounding is a huge part of everything I do before this call I grounded into what's my intention? what do what do I want to convey? How do I want to be? So whatever happens because life is life thing, right? We all know we have our moments. So whatever it happens before or after, that never distract me to what I am committed to creating, that is my compass.

Nicoa Coach: 21:42

Yeah, makes sense, your TrueNorth it makes complete sense. And I always, you know, my focus is helping people rediscover their true north by finding their authentic self remembering what their authentic self is, and that grounding exercise that you're talking about. And literally, when you said, you unplug, so she made a motion, you guys have, like, unplugging from her? Yep, I actually do before or after every coaching call, I literally do like a karate chop around my entire body. And I'm wiping off and cutting any energetic cords or any messages that I might have taken on during that interaction that would not I don't need to care. And so that moment in the morning that, you know, Abraham Hicks, Esther Hicks talks a lot about that first 17 seconds after you wake up, and you just articulated it, you're focused on you first, your body, your way of being. And then you turn to your partner. And I don't know if a lot of partners understand the importance of that, and a lot of partners turn to their partner first and looking for that energy from them. And so it makes me think of conscious coupling when you added that piece. There in the end. So the grounding piece do you do? Do you integrate these types of practices? Like you said, you do ground right before an interaction like this? Anything else you do during the day? This seems to be one of my clients. biggest challenges? How do I integrate the meditation or the grounding throughout my day? Any tips or tricks that you've learned?

KATIA RAVÉ: 23:24

No, I, I did at the beginning. And then I realized then I don't like to have like a special, hourly, like thing I do. The grounding is really like, hey, you know, what is my intention, what I'm committed to creating, but like, here, so we've been in Martinique for two months, and we're here for another half month. So I can tell you as pretty much every night unless we have clients, you know, coming in the way but pretty much every night at you know, 5pm we stop like, it's something we don't do at home, we stop and we actually walk. I'm turning my head here and I can see the water. So we start we walk to the water and we go swim, we swim swim until the sunset, and we watch the sunset together in the water. So this is something we do here. But at home, it's very different. At home, we do a silent walks in the morning. Sometime, sometimes it's just going out and just checking out the energy. So I don't have I know some people have things they do religiously? I don't. It just depends.

Nicoa Coach: 24:36

No, I think it's beautiful. That's the definition of flow. And you're really following where your body and your emotions are taking you. And it sounds again, back to conscious coupling. The two of you and I know this is a an additional marriage experience for you both you both have kids from previous marriages. How do you do that? Is that something that naturally evolved in the newness of this second, or I don't know how many times

KATIA RAVÉ: 25:09

I know for me, I knew I wanted a 10 out of 10 marriage. I knew then if I was doing this again, it was a 10 out of 10. So what does a 10 out of 10 means for me and what is the 10 out of 10 means for him. So we're very clear about our vision. common vision, not just my vision me, but his vision. And then a common vision, a vision for the relationship, a vision for the couple which division change as we change as we grow the vision change. For me, I knew then my honeymoon. I didn't want my honeymoon to be the highest point on my marriage that I don't want to refer to Hey, do you remember on our honeymoon to me, it's like I know two days. Gonna be better than yesterday. So every day, really my ceiling becomes my floor, my ceiling becomes my floor. So how am I, I, again, everything is above the intention? How do I bring that intention in my marriage and my relationship with my kids in my relationship with my stepkids in my relationship with my clients, with you with the audience right now? How do I bring this then today is going to be better than yesterday. So I think it's all around the vision in in the couple, it's all about that, because we couldn't be too spectacular person to spectacular people individually. But then as a, as a couple not have the same goals not have the same, you know, the same vision, then it's like we, you know, two trains going two different directions.

Nicoa Coach: 26:40

And so the biggest lessons learned from your previous marriages. What Why do you think and this is personal, like, Why do you think it didn't work? Why did you get divorced? Like, did you know? Did you just learn new things? About how to couple? Or were we making decisions coupling earlier in our lives that weren't based on a mature understanding of what coupling man?

KATIA RAVÉ: 27:05

Yeah, I think both end, you know, I realized I'm very driven. You know, so in the past, I had definitely let people around me say, Okay, you're gonna be reinventing yourself again, are you, you know, really taking it and I'm too much and, and then, you know, I realized then, all visionaries are that all the people who are absolutely incredible in this world are exactly who I am. And I think embracing it was kind of the step one, and then, you know, do you have a partner who really embracing it with you, and, and other things, we're, you know, more personal that, you know, we would not write for each other. He's a great guy. And, you know,

Nicoa Coach: 27:57

and it has served you well, for you've got beautiful babies, you have, you know, a time in your life where you serve each other well, until you did not, and I learned,

KATIA RAVÉ: 28:06

which was incredible, really, really incredible.

Nicoa Coach: 28:12

Well, your ability to expand and reinvent yourself, and by the way, you are not too much. I know that now. We know that now, we do know that now, and I think that is kind of an underlying second guessing that a lot of women do and in many ways, they second guess their, their passion to expand and show up and, and put themselves out there. You know, all those lessons learned. I mean, what advice would you give to people pondering entering into marriage partnership commitment? I just love this topic right now. So no, I

KATIA RAVÉ: 28:51

appreciate you. And that's, that's what it is. I mean, it's so organic, I love that. So I would say, you know, sit down and make sure that your vision is aligned, you don't need to agree there's a big difference between agreement and alignment. Right? So what is your vision, work on it, see where you at, and, you know, ask your partner to do the same and then come together and bring like, for me personally, my you know, my vision is to create a world of love, unity, connection, faith, trust in abundance, and we have created a vision also for our relationship. Right. So when something is missing, when there is a disagreement, we go back to what's our vision? What's missing? And then we know, you know, is it is it you know, intimacy is it you know, fun, I mean, for us fun is a big part of, you know, fun adventures a big part of our vision. So, I would, I would definitely say, you know, look at, look at the vision for everything. Step one is, what's your vision? Hello, what do you want?

Nicoa Coach: 29:57

And use that to it's a way of being how do I want to be today? How do I want to be in this interaction? We are human beings, that's why not doing not doing so do

KATIA RAVÉ: 30:08

have people I mean, I cannot stress that enough. It's B do have an in the society we really into the do have the when I'm gonna do something I'm gonna have, and whatever I have now I can be Be happy, be joyful, and it's really it's really sad that we haven't really figured out that it's B first the being your intention, putting it out there in the universe, and then do have

Nicoa Coach: 30:40

there's a Home Depot commercial that used to be out there and it says something like, more savings, more doing and it shows a guy I building a deck on his back porch. And I thought, why are they not also saying more being, and showing the man sitting on the deck after he built it, I think we're so busy, you know, having him be I mean having and doing that your, your point is well taken. And if anybody listening can stop for a moment and just simply look around their world. I mean, I joke about you think I need another book, I have so many books. But if I just sat still and read the books that I haven't finished, you know, I need to be more in order to savor all of the doing. Yeah. And talk a little bit about what you're doing, and order to be right now. How are you fostering this time in Martinique, and you've written three, four books now, I mean, you do a lot of doing.

KATIA RAVÉ: 31:39

Yes. And I take I do a lot of Bing Bing here, for two, you know, for over two months is, it's it's really a way of being it's a very different lifestyle. It's being in bedding suits every day, I work in bedding suit, unless I meet with my clients. And then obviously, you know, or in podcast, you know, but of course, the being surrounded by the abundance of life, and you can not not be in here. It's, you have no air conditioning. So you start the day very grateful for what you have back at home. And yet you enjoying the fullness of what you being here we go downstairs last night, we had an avocado than we picked from the tree. This morning, we had papayas than we pay from the tree, bananas from the tree from you know from the yard here, mangoes and passion fruit the same. You you have a lifestyle was different. So for us, the being is really fostered by traveling also, you change your routines, we don't have the same routines here than we have at home. Everyday supports us to not want to be in a routine. You know, you just tech here we don't eat meat. Meat is very, very expensive here. Why it's a tiny island, there is no meat. So and if there is do you really want to have it you're thinking twice. So here we eat fish and we eat a lot of local products. Things who you when you embrace culture like that, you are a being? Yes. So then you readjust like, oh, okay, how will I be able to work and still look presentable, for example. But it's still an intention, it's still a being it's like, okay, what do we want to create? When we hear and we want to create joy?

Nicoa Coach: 34:01

How long have how long? Have you been going down to Martinique? That was this part of the vision when you came together as a couple? Or did you already have that established on your own,

KATIA RAVÉ: 34:10

we know that we we love to travel, we both love to travel. And we knew then, you know I when I had built my the business so I had the business before my husband join in. He's been his full time with me now since two and it's been two years. And awesome. One of the thing that I knew was to build the business. That's why I could travel and do exactly what I'm doing now. And you know, and that's that's how it is we chose Martinique because I'm French. And my parents have a house here have half half in France. So right now they're in France so we can hear Oh, perfect. We were here in in January. We were also in Italy in May. So and in Italy, our lifestyle was very different because we had a time difference. So again, about the being even with all the doing then we are doing when we are putting in our mind, the way of being being grounded being in giving and generosity, everything flows.

Nicoa Coach: 35:20

You know, I think that's critical because I can hear someone now listening to this conversation and you know, there's always individuals who filter their world with Wow, that must be nice, you know, she gets to travel all over the world and and or I don't know how I would ever feel comfortable adapting and another cut culture country. So what what is it that you say to yourself to keep that flexibility? Is it just because you were raised traveling by When you move to the US, or how do we help people recognize that? I mean, now I've been to 30 plus countries in the world. And for me to get on a plane and go anywhere, it's like I'm getting in a taxi to go across town. I don't really, it's no big deal. I used to lose full days preparing for the business trip. Because I was like, Well, I can't go to whatever in the morning because I have a four o'clock flight, and I would just lose the day. But now it's so easy. And I know that you have that ease. And I bet you even enjoy the travel. I enjoy it. I like a good flight. Yeah, I

KATIA RAVÉ: 36:25

you know, I think for me, I again, is this aligned with my vision with what I want to create?

Nicoa Coach: 36:30

Yeah, I mean, at the end of the day, this is the way I want to be. Yes. Yeah.

KATIA RAVÉ: 36:34

So when, when it's align? It's, you know, I think that's probably, to answer your question, people are not clear about their vision. When they are clear about their vision, they're gonna see for me, I want to understand anybody then I come across United States is a country made with immigrant, I want to be able to understand it, therefore, I speak very well, English. Why? Because it was very important for me to have discussion with anybody in English. I speak Spanish. Why? Because there's many Spanish speaking people, and I want to understand them. I know, they don't speak English. I obviously, you know, I speak French. So I think at the end of the day, it's, you know, for me, I have such a gratitude for the difference of culture and who we are as human being, and how different and I embrace those differences versus putting everybody into the box, I love to put c four into the box. And, you know, dynamite, you know, let's put dynamite because the, when we stay into this comfort zone, it's to this box that says, you know, this is our ego, this is our culture, this is our limiting belief. So just, you know, exploding, it, is what supports us. So, you know, I always say do something that you're a little bit scared of every day, that way, you know, it supports you to continue growth.

Nicoa Coach: 38:07

Well, you talk about gratitude. I mean, unless you really are embracing life. I mean, you're you're, you're sharing a story of full on commitment to life. And I think that there's some habits that people especially, I mean, I don't know, I can only really speak for the United States, where we were getting a little lazy, right. And we're not really committing to something greater than what's being in many ways handed to us like ease, there's a lot of ease in this country, and you don't have to lift a finger. And you know, I was raised by someone who said, pull up your bootstraps, and you can't tell me, there's no job out there. So get your ass out there. And if you want to make money, go make money. So to your view, I did another interview earlier today. And that client, or she was a former client, and she said, Oh, yeah, I've looked around, my kids are about to go to college. And I thought, Well, I'm gonna need more money. So she went and got a degree. And she went and started making more money. So I think we got to help people recognize it. If you've got one foot into, oh, I want this life. And I have this vision, and then one foot still in the living room, eating chips, and whatever and veg out on Netflix, you're just one step away from getting to feed into that vision. And all you got to do is the side, what do I want? And how willing Am I

KATIA RAVÉ: 39:28

yeah, I love then you said that I was raised the same way. I think it's pretty much everywhere. These days, where there is this new way of being it was like, I am waiting to be served. We're gonna say like it, maybe there's everything that needs to be easy. And you know, of course, you and I grew up in a very different lifetime. And on the other hand, is, do you know how many people want my life? They're like, Oh my gosh, she's so lucky. You have a 10 out of 10 marriage and and this and that and your job and you traveling and you in Martinique and what the part that they're missing, it's yes, I have a vision, but I'm willing to pay a price for my for my vision. And most people are not willing to pay their prices. I'm willing to pay prices. And sometimes people don't like me because I say things like it is and that's okay. I'm willing to pay that price. And for everything, I'm willing to pay the price and sometimes, you know, when I'm in a country where there's a time difference, I'm up until 2am serving my clients. That's right and they would never know it's 2am because they get to me the same way than I am here. Why because that's right not their problem. Like they shouldn't pay for me being you know in other Country. So at the end of the day is a lot of people have the vision they want, what what I have what you have, but they're not willing to pay the prices for it. Like you said, you know, they want to be maybe sitting or, you know, being into in front of the TV and Netflix, you know, at the end of the day, I always say, you know, my commitment, my feelings don't care. They're not I mean, whether I feel good, I don't feel good, you know, my commitments don't care about my feelings, I have a commitment, I am my word, I am integrity. And at the end of the day, I want to be able to go to bed and saying, This is who I am.

Nicoa Coach: 41:28

And this is who you are. And that's okay. You can be any way any who any way. You know, it doesn't matter because it's your life. It is your life by design. But you're right about commitments, and being in integrity, you cannot have it both ways. And a lot of people want to have it, but you can't add I mean, I'm sorry, but you can't have your cake and eat it too, or whatever that phrase. Oh my gosh, well, let's, let's take a quick little coffee break. And when we come back, I'd love to learn some of your process, and maybe talk a little bit about the most recent book and anything else you want to share. So we'll be right back.

Jennifer Gardner: 42:10

We hope you're enjoying listening to this episode of Coffee with Nicoa. Make sure to subscribe so that you never miss an episode and follow Coffee with Nicoa on Instagram to find inspiring content that will help you begin creating your life by design.

Nicoa Coach: 42:24

And we're back. What an amazing first part of this conversation. And I just am very intrigued by the fact that you're out there coaching just like me, we both have very different styles and approach. What would you like to share with people about how they can actually work with you and learn maybe some tips on getting their vision? You know, documented?

KATIA RAVÉ: 42:46

Yeah, so the it's how I start pretty much all my coaching. So I, I love the client I work with because I pick and choose them. First of all, I don't attract everybody, the people who want a way out or you know, they're not the one who hire me. Right? So then with like what you said earlier, I totally forgot she had said that, like, I'm a polite Bulldog. And yes, she did say that. But But that said, like, they're gonna get someone who is going to hold them accountable, and I get results. You know, when people hire me, they know, we get results at the end. But are they committed? And this is a huge part of even our pre pre contract. It's I want to make sure they're committed. And they know what commitment means to me, and what I cannot want it more than they do. And that's a huge part of the vision. So that's, that's a big part of just even starting, we go to what's their vision? And how bad do they want it? What price are they willing to pay? And figuratively and non figuratively, because it's an investment, you have a coach, and and at the end of the day, it's how bad do they how bad do they want it? How bad do they want that vision? And then when we really clear on that, then we can see if we're moving forward. And sometimes I send out some you know, there's, there's a couple of people than I had said no to and it's okay, that doesn't mean anything about them. It's just and I, I for me, when I take on a client, I'm like, I'm getting the results. So I need to be you know, I get to be sure. And then they are fully committed.

Nicoa Coach: 44:31

That's right. And I've said no to people before and referred them right on over to somebody that was more appropriate. Yeah. And commitment is the key. How willing are you? How willing are you to try a different way to get what you want? But again, how do we help them uncover what they really want? I mean, no one has been asking you what you really want for many, many years in most of these cases, no one asked you, they told you, you go to high school, you go to college, you go get a job, you get married, you have kids, you know, I I was shocked when I finally woke up and quit my American dream and realized that I could write the dream any way I wanted. I didn't I never questioned my path. I just tried to win the path. And so when you say you know winning, winning is never accidental. I don't know I won, but I didn't win my own game. I want another game that's it. I want the American dream.

KATIA RAVÉ: 45:28

That's it. So it you know I said that a lot. It's like a bunch of people on the field. But one of them is winning playing soccer. So we all the same team but one is playing soccer. The other one is playing football. The other one baseball. How can you have consistency? How can you have like a big win like the Olympics? You can't? It's like you have like little leagues winning. It's like everybody is doing whatever. So they're winning. And it's a false sense of winning. Yes. How do you really pay? You play the game being the player? You come as MVP? I love food. I love regular football, soccer.

Nicoa Coach: 46:10

And MVP. Yeah.

KATIA RAVÉ: 46:14

So, you know, like, you show up as him? How do you think you should have or let's take, you know, Tom Brady, whether you like him or not, it's not even the point. It's just look at how it shows up. No showing up early in the morning when he was, you know, training, showing up as the captain showing up, as you know, making a team out of nothing. One team said, We don't want you anymore. He's like, That's okay. You know what I am such a leader than I will make these team a championship team that requires a lot of dedication, vision. I mean, he already saw them at the, you know, at the, at the Superbowl at the end. So, you know, I think I think, you know, to answer your question, I think it starts it starts with that you get to, you get to create win, win, win, I approach everything to creating win, win. Everybody's receptive, versus I'm winning, but they're losing.

Nicoa Coach: 47:11

That's right. And an energy leadership, which is the foundational tool that I use, we look at that, at that level five energy level, and this critical stage here, when you're able to be at when when you no longer take anything personally, you have a personal drive as to what you want. And then you want the other person to say, hey, what, what they want, and you find a compromise. And if you can't, you don't. And you may go have to go back down to level three energy and say, Look, I'm gonna win, I hope you do, too. But I'm gonna have to do what I got to do for me. And I'm not worried about what you think of me in the process. That's the price. That's the price you're willing to pay. And guess what, ultimately, it's not even a price. Once you realize nobody was really thinking about you in the first place. And if they were, it was a reflection of their own thoughts of themselves. So, you know, you and I, as coaches know, that we have to help people begin to observe themselves and recognize who am I what do I want what is experienced and not be afraid to let go of a story and a circumstance they'd already created or put tons or years or decades of energy into you had to do that. You had to do that yourself. And here you are now well, tell us what's next. And with this business model with the books,

KATIA RAVÉ: 48:34

so there is a there's a book called Winning is never accidental, who will be coming out I have two books out right now then I authored you know, myself, and I was into one of those books at the beginning with you know, other authors, but my first book was success is a dance. So I dance Argentine Tango, and, and there was a lot of similar things that I saw. So that's that's how I wrote the book. And the second book was called success successful and unhappy. Because I have seen so many people who are very successful and yet they're so unhappy with their life. And that was that was really a huge thing for me I was like, Oh, wow, you know, how can they be successful and happy now and therefore the book winning is never accidental we get to be very intentional about wanting to win and creating Win win you know, so everywhere so so that's what's next we coach you know, we coach a lot of corporate so we actually now go into company and and coach teams in pods. And we really coached leadership and because there's a lot of things in corporate culture of not being their word and not understanding communication, we do so many things on communication you know, how do we how do we communicate with each other when we are different operating styles so we dive into the operating style and support people on how to communicate with others and and then of course, you know, my my business owners my solopreneurs and I adore So yeah, this is how work

Nicoa Coach: 50:21

beautiful beautiful. What do you what do you think the biggest benefit of your life by design is for you at this moment?

KATIA RAVÉ: 50:39

There's nothing then I want

Nicoa Coach: 50:44

nothing you want nothing you need?

KATIA RAVÉ: 50:47

Yeah,

Nicoa Coach: 50:48

only Yeah. What'd you choose?

KATIA RAVÉ: 50:50

That's it that said, there's nothing I, I want like a thing or I'm just so happy, you know, and as a way of being,

Nicoa Coach: 51:02

how is that different from when you were younger? Yeah. How is that, that we're, we're, what is the biggest difference right for you? How long do you think you were wanting and needing until?

KATIA RAVÉ: 51:17

That was that's the that's the thing. I didn't know what I was chasing. So I thought I wanted something. And I realized then I did the spa really more because I wanted to please my parents, I wanted them to be proud of me, you know, so then, of course, I had it. And, and then I was like, you know, I'm gonna go for what I wanted to be. I wanted to be a photojournalist. And and then during that journey, I, of course, you know, I'm more mature. And yeah, really. So I love to study and I loved my journey of going back to school, and, and I saw myself even being different, not just because there were young and I was older. But yeah, I think that said, I didn't know what I wanted. I was chasing the dream. Now I know what I want. I'm so clear that again, that vision is the compass. So when people get that, and they can get it when they're very young, if they have a good coach, because that's, you know, that's that's a part of our job is to really support them to see what's the vision, what's their vision, into their relationships into their business, or career and into their wealth and with their health. And when we really clear about that, then it's just, wow, contentment.

Nicoa Coach: 52:40

Yes, contentment satisfaction. Well, I am very content and satisfied with our beautiful conversation today. I hope you are as well. Is there anything you wish you wish that I had asked or anything else you'd like to share? Before we wrap up?

KATIA RAVÉ: 52:56

Yeah, I would like to share that I am no different than any of you who are listening to this right now. A lot of time, you know, I know now people are listening to me. And they're like, wow, you know, she's amazing. And I am no different. I didn't speak English. I am just a simple girl. At the end of the day, it's you know, when you really figure out what you want, that's the key. And you can be a visionary, you can be the next Gandhi, you can be the next Michelle Obama You can be. I mean, all of the people that we look up to, we are no different. We have the same gift. It's just we get to really take those gifts and look at them versus just you know, passing and doing so yeah.

Nicoa Coach: 53:47

Well, I really admire your way of being Katya. And I am so glad that we've connected and please, when you come back from Martinique, would you look so we can

KATIA RAVÉ: 53:57

get together? Well, you can be sure of that.

Nicoa Coach: 54:00

Beautiful. Thank you for being with us and coffee,

KATIA RAVÉ: 54:04

and being so receptive to my email. Oh, of

Nicoa Coach: 54:07

course, I'm open and open minded just like you and willing to receive. So thank you. Thank you. We'll talk again soon.

Jennifer Gardner: 54:18

Thanks for joining us for a caffeinated conversation. Subscribe to Coffee with Nicoa for more stories from people living a life by design. You can also find inspiration on Instagram. Just follow Coffee with Nicoa and check out our website Coffee with nicoa.com and that's Nicoa N IC O A. We look forward to talking with you soon. And enjoy your coffee between now and then icon in that way