Espresso Shot 23: SO WHAT?!

Nicoa discusses the value of reflecting on past experiences and their impact on your current life circumstances!  Listen in to consider shifting your story to move closer to a LIFE BY DESIGN YOU LOVE. Can you move beyond attachment to your story and focus on the 'SO WHAT' of those past experiences? Time to question everything with this week's 'SO WHAT' message! 

ACTIONS YOU MAY WANT TO TAKE AFTER LISTENING:

• Journal on how past experiences have shaped you and how you can apply lessons learned to move closer to your goals. 
• Focus more on what you learned from the past and what you want for the future, rather than dwelling on past stories and narratives.

Transcript

Nicoa Coach: 0:02

sometimes don't you just need a quick moment of inspiration? Or maybe you just need a moment of caffeinated contemplation to reflect on life. That's the idea behind my weekly coffee with Nicola espresso shots. I'll be sharing short jolts of inspiration in each clip, in addition to my longer Coffee with Nicoa interview episodes, make sure to subscribe so you never miss an espresso shot, or a full length Coffee with Nicoa interview created just for you. Hey, guys, it's your weekly espresso shot. This is Nicoa. Hey, how's everybody doing? Listen, today might be an unpopular topic. Yeah. Did you start listening a little closer, then? I hope so. I really hope that people are hearing these messages mainly because I want you thinking about these things. I don't care if you agree with me or not, I just want you to start questioning everything, question everything, and figure out the so what? You know, I give advice to my clients and to my kids, when they're putting together their resumes. And I say, you know, I look at resumes all the time to help people. And they'll be listing all their job responsibilities. You know, I did this when I was at that job. And I did that and blah, blah. And I'm like, Okay, nice job description. So what? So what if you did all that shit? I want to know, what the impact was, what the outcome was, what you learned from that experience? And what the context was, that gave you that insight, I really want to know, because those insights, that's what we're hiring for. That's what's going to give you the life that you want the career that you want the opportunities that you want. It's not what you did. That's the checklist item. It is the so what of what you did. So let's apply that. Let's pick all that up. You've got that context. Now. Now let's pick it up. And let's apply it to your day to day life. Now, I watched the there was a clip Jane Fonda was talking, being interviewed. And she said, you know, we were making up scenarios about our life all the time. And it is in those scenarios that we've wired our brains to believe certain things about our life and who we are and our identity, and what matters most to us and what doesn't matter most to us. And at the end of the day, those scenarios are yours for the describing for the value giving. And here it is. Campbell, Don't roll your eyes. But we are the only ones who can make anything mean anything. So you have a history that you think is dictating your current circumstances, well, you know, I was a victim to whatever or, you know, because I lost my job back then. Or that one time I quit, or, you know, if I hadn't had this happen. That's absolutely true. And fine. But the question is, how are you going to stay in that story? So what if it's in your past, I don't give a lot of weight to it anymore. Sure, it's causing you to behave and have pain, perhaps, or anticipate things to have a certain outcome because of your past experience. We're beginning to move more and more away from behavioral based interviewing, if you will, the behavioral based interviewing says, and behavioral based life expression says, Give me an example when, and that's supposedly going to dictate how you show up in the world today. But I don't really want the example anymore. As a coach, and as a human being I have moved more into Tell me, what happened to you, and what you learned from it. And how what you learned from it, is going to help you create a reality going forward, that serves you better, or that can serve my company, or that can serve that person and I'm going to have you work with what did you learn about that past experience? Or how did that shape you emotionally? How did that experience shape you and influence your way of being your life by design, your leadership legacy, your way of showing up in the world? How did all that experience shape you? So what that happened to you Great, okay, I'm going to sit there with you as long as you want me to. And then I'm going to say, Okay, what do you want to do about that? How are you going to take what you did and what you experienced and what you learned back there and apply it right now. Today, to moving you one step closer to what you do want. Spend more time focused on what you learned and what you do want. Then the story of what happened to you in your past. So what All right, I'll send you guys off. That's your journaling prompt for the week. your espresso shot to ponder. life by design. I love mine and you can love yours too. Thanks for listening guys. Make sure to subscribe so you never miss an espresso shot or a full length Coffee with Nicoa interview created just for you

Unknown: 5:22

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