S2 EP14: TASHA INA CHURCH

TRIGGER WARNING
If you are a woman, you'll want to hear this interview! Iyémote (Strives for Empowerment from the Stó:lō Nation) aka Tasha Ina Church joins Nicoa from the Hawaiian island of Maui for an EMPOWERING conversation.  Her LIFE BY DESIGN, although steeped in trauma, expands into empowerment, safety and purpose driven living and serving women! Tasha is the founder of ElleLiveAction: Empowerment Self-Defense - Online and In-Person Classes for Women & Girls.

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Transcript

Nicoa Coach: 0:01

Grab your coffee and join me Nicoa For a caffeinated conversation about life. I'll be talking to people who have chosen to walk their own paths and just like me, are creating a life by design. I hope that will give you the inspiration you need to do exactly the same. Tasha, I'm at church. How are you today?

TASHA INA CHURCH: 0:28

Aloha. I'm doing well. How are you?

Nicoa Coach: 0:31

Aloha. I want to do that. She just shook her hand guys, for y'all listening like, you know, what does that even mean? Like? Yeah. So you're dialing in today from Maui?

TASHA INA CHURCH: 0:43

Yes, I am. And you know, you referenced just a minute ago, before I give the quick overview, how is everyone after the is it the Lahaina fire that occurred? You mentioned that that had a big impact? Yes. Yeah. So it's been a challenge. I live in the hyena for those of you listening. And yeah, it was, it was really tough for a lot of people, they believe there's still over 3000 people displaced. And so it has been difficult, I had a, I lost probably about 40% of my business, because it was the in person training. So I have two parts of my business, and one is online coaching and online courses. And then the other one is, you know, is teaching in person trainings. And so the places that I taught, sadly burned down. Oh, my. So it's, it's an interesting process to see how everybody's doing it, I feel so fortunate that my partner and I, you know, are doing a lot better, you know, financially than so many other people, but, but it was heartbreaking. It was heartbreaking. I was actually teaching the polyp tribe self defense when the fire was happening. And then my partner was, was here. So it was just this, ah, because we were in two different places, and very happy when I was reunited with him. But just to see, just to see all my friends, my friends, I had several friends who lost their homes. And just to see the community, I spent the first week giving out care packages that I had put together when I was in Washington, just because I couldn't sit still.

Nicoa Coach: 2:38

Sure.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 2:40

And then after that gave psychological first aid to some of my clients and just supported them at the time. And I've been doing community safety workshops and and basically having a donation base because so many people lost their jobs and their their livelihood.

Nicoa Coach: 2:58

Well, I'm sorry that everyone has gone through that it was really difficult for those of us state sad to watch and but such some beautiful stories came out of it as well. Like the, the reblooming of the trees, the banyan trees and so beautiful. Oh, wow. And then, like you said, coming together and and you've already hinted at a lot of your generosity and your way of being in your life by design. So let me just take a quick moment and give everybody an overview of your background. just phenomenal. And I also want to pronounce I'd like to introduce you again but pronouncing your indigenous name is it EA mo de or how would you pronounce that? E M. de m Ma Tei. And it says here, Tasha that you are an indigenous female entrepreneur, a course creator and author a podcaster of the Empowered hour. Is that right? Is that the name of the podcast? Cool, and is the founder and owner of l live action just for the past couple of years. She provides everybody this is really phenomenal work, empowerment coaching. She helps her clients in removing barriers in their life. She offers empowering strategies. She's been doing this type of work for 23 years of experience in the field. And she actually is trained in all sorts of martial arts. And I'm curious, very curious about Aikido. I actually referenced that in some of my coaching workshops, because and I think I wrote down the reference, the way of harmonious spirit. I talk often about language and energy and how when what we resist versus what we flow with and I just I can't wait to talk about that. She also has warrior spirit training with Jeff Alexander, who was the trainer for Rocky Rocky Balboa. How cool is that? You're continuing to be in martial arts. Sorry, go ahead. Let's start talking about all of it. Oh, no.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 5:07

Yeah, I was just saying that when I'm in, in classes or working with kids that tends to date me because I'm like, you know, serviced or Stallone Rocky? And they're like, teachers like, yeah.

Nicoa Coach: 5:25

I think they're gonna do a remake. Did I hear they're gonna do? I

TASHA INA CHURCH: 5:29

don't know, that would be good. Then they'll actually know who I'm talking about.

Nicoa Coach: 5:37

It's like, that reminds me of the A while back. I actually went to I guess it's been a few years, but I was at my alma mater, and I was teaching a class as a guest lecturer. And I said, Oh, yay, I graduated from NC State, the class of 91. And all the kids like, started chuckling. And I was like, what? They're like, that's the year most of us were born.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 6:01

Oh, my gosh, yes. Yep. Sorry, my life. My

Nicoa Coach: 6:06

tip. So now that the two wise women have come together on this podcast to share our wisdom and experiences, why don't we back up a minute. And just talk a little bit about your, your life in general, you had some really cool parents and you were raised learning some pretty phenomenal skills like nonviolent communication and talk about your upbringing to set the stage.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 6:33

Well, yeah, thank you so much. Um, so first, I grew up on six acres on a farm. I woke up every morning, and my dad was like, Alright, it's time to go feed the chickens. You know, Otter, the plants do all that we would feed horses and, and it was a beautiful upbringing. It was really just, I look back, and I've cried multiple times thinking oh, my god, I can't believe how lucky I was as a child because I look at, you know, kids today. And there's a lot of, you know, I, I know that parents are doing the best that they can. There's so much that I feel like, kids don't get that I had and I just I didn't. I didn't really, you know, I valued it. But I didn't see the full picture of what I was being offered. I mean, I did archery when I was little, I I rode horses, I could ride a horse before I could walk. And my parents, they were teachers. So they came from very humble backgrounds, both of them and they made the conscious decision that they really wanted to create a safe environment for their kids growing up. And so I have I have a brother and he's just amazing. And he's married to this beautiful Brazilian woman and I have a niece who's 14 going on 30 She is a mini me though. So I told my brother one day he would he would suffer for that, you know, has little things that he would do. I'm like, you're gonna get stuck with someone like me.

Nicoa Coach: 8:27

That's right karma. Like,

TASHA INA CHURCH: 8:30

like, Oh, yay, the world is right again.

Nicoa Coach: 8:36

She's lucky to have you as an aunt a role model. I mean, you really quite the force, as you say in your overview. So yeah. How did that launch your your life? You? You moved to Hawaii when and what was the connection of your upbringing to getting to where you are now? Yeah.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 8:54

So my, well my mom and dad I said they were teachers, they studied nonviolent communication, they studied say it straight, which basically is like this amazing form for boundary setting. You know, say it like it is say what you want, say how you want to just, you know, so it set me up for success in so many different ways. When I was younger, my parents, the first place that they could afford to fly us was actually coming to Maui. My parents saved until I was in fifth grade. And finally were able to take us on this beautiful vacation. And they took us to Maui and I fell in love with Maui. I loved it just because I am indigenous but where I grew up. You know, there weren't a lot of people who looked like me and my mom and I just fit fit in. Beautiful. Yeah, it was just really great and it felt like home and and so my parents You know before timeshares were an actual thing they were they got on board. And we're able to come here every year, much to the timeshare people's dismay when they were like raising prices and doing all this other stuff. My parents had

Nicoa Coach: 10:17

a level Yeah, that was good. That

TASHA INA CHURCH: 10:20

was good. Like you're paying what? But yeah, so we got to come here and I mean, again Charmed, I feel very privileged for what I got to experience and my mom, she actually got connected. We used to go to Power hours and she got connected to an indigenous healer. And the

Nicoa Coach: 10:46

name of the nation again, it

TASHA INA CHURCH: 10:48

overlapped. Oh, yes. stalo stalo Yes, dolla, dolla nation. And they are a band, not a tribe. So bands in Canada, are what tribes are in the United States. They're considered First Nations instead of Native American. And so I'm current Nez Perce, Native American my mom's partners person, Native American. Very interesting. Long story about World War Two, my grandpa.

Nicoa Coach: 11:23

Love it. Keep telling us Yes. Oh,

TASHA INA CHURCH: 11:26

yeah. Oh, well, you know, my, my grandpa, he was in the Navy and his ship blew up in World War Two. And he carried his best friend ashore only to find he was carrying half a body and he had to make it back from enemy shores back to the United States. And so they sent a letter back to my grandma saying that he had died. And his really good friend was Native American. And long story short, my grandpa showed up at the door and was like, hi, mom. And, and eight months later, my mom came. So wow, what

Nicoa Coach: 12:02

a cool story. But horrifying at the same time, that was.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 12:07

Oh, you really want to hear this story. But that Yeah, so my mom didn't get told that she was Native American until she was like 27 years old. And after that, she really wanted to be connected to her roots, my grandmother's Ukrainian. And so and she's from the Ukraine. And so she really didn't want to recognize the Native Americans. She wanted to recognize my grandpa who was home. And and so it was a really interesting experience for her and her rites of passage to find this indigenous healer, who wanted to have my mom come under her wing and became her adopted daughter. And basically, my mom traveled with this indigenous healer, Doris Peters, all throughout the United States and Canada doing indigenous healing work. And, oh, some of those amazing skills down to me and and so that was my upbringing. I got to experience that my my dad, he's, you know, he is white with beautiful blue eyes and brown hair. You know, I have this picture of him that just makes me smile every time but he was, you know, wearing this Mexican wedding shirt. And he was up at Mount Rainier. And he was playing guitar and singing to my mom Time in a Bottle for their wedding. Yeah, and he had this big Scottish fro. It's an interesting mix that I have. But I feel so blessed to have so many different cultures that I can celebrate. Yes. And so yeah, I mean, like, that was my that was my upbringing that I, you know, I had all of these different experiences in my life that led me to the work that I do. I had a stalker at 15 he met me when I was old. And I confronted him when I was 18, I believe so that was a really intense experience for me because he was x Special Forces from military. He was six foot two and over 230 pounds and that's you know, for my five foot four it was a huge experience for me to stick up for myself. very terrifying, actually. But

Nicoa Coach: 14:37

I was that begin so just out of curiosity, I had a friend from middle school or Yeah, middle school who ultimately had a stalker, which made it very difficult for us to find her. We all grew up because she had really isolated herself. So had you dated this person? Was there someone in your world like how did this person show up?

TASHA INA CHURCH: 14:57

He met he was one of my brother. as best friends, and I happened to be introduced to him, and he presented himself as like a big brother to me, he invited me over to play video games and, you know, get snacks and I was like, This is amazing. Oh my gosh, chips and dip and video game, like, want that stuff. And I was like, Oh, this is strange. You know, I'm seeing you everywhere.

Nicoa Coach: 15:30

So you're like, This is awesome that you're okay. So why do Why does he keep showing up everywhere? Why do I keep running into him? Is that what you were saying?

TASHA INA CHURCH: 15:37

Me and and then he ended up being very angry when he found out that I had a boyfriend for the first time. And it just ended up blowing up. I was having this horrible evening out but I was out dancing. And I thought that I saw him but I wasn't sure. And I was just like, Why is he here? And and I had already had a very strange moment with him. Because I came over to his house because one of my girlfriends, she invited me over to stay and she invited boys over and I did not want to be around. And that. Sure, well, I don't. I did not do underage drinking or different stuff like that. And so I showed up and I was like, Oh my God. And there was some strange part of me this like, I don't want my you know, my friend to get in trouble. Because I go home. You know, I'm going home early. And so I was telling my big brother who was like, Come stay over at my house. It'll be fine. And so yeah, I fell asleep at his house. I woke up and he was on top of me. Oh, God. And I ended up hitting him with a vase. Yeah. And, and running out the door. And then I called him later and confronted him. And I don't know where I got the words. But I was so calm. And I said, Look, you're never going to see me again. You're not going to touch me. If you do. I'm going to take everything you love away from you. I'm going to take your friend, I'm going to take my parents, you need to stay away from me. And he cussed me out. I had heard words that I did not know. I was like, Oh my gosh, I don't know what the C word is. But I'm gonna look it up. Gosh. And, and so I just had to, I remember pausing and I was, you know telling myself, okay, breathe. And I just said, I don't think you heard me. Let me repeat myself. And I said the same thing again. Talk about the say it straight stuff that my parents taught me. And I said you got it? And he goes, Yeah. And never talked to him after that. Wow.

Nicoa Coach: 18:24

So good for you. You had that that inner knowing you set a boundary because that we all have the inner knowing we all have the truth inside of us. And I love that you were I mean, I'm so sorry that that happened. I mean, unfortunately too many people have that story or something they're inappropriately approached, touched taken advantage of. But you were young enough to not have to be biased by societal Well, I don't want to offend anybody or I don't want to so and raised by parents with really powerful communication skills to teach you.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 19:00

And they, you know, my parents, I just, I look back and I am so grateful for them. Like just so I I can't even tell you how amazing they are to me how wonderful. You know, but it was it was a scary experience. And right after that I joined a martial art school.

Nicoa Coach: 19:53

Okay, so talk about martial arts and your life by design. And I know there's another story that emerges here, but let's say let's talk about the beginning of all that. Yeah,

TASHA INA CHURCH: 20:04

yeah. So um, you know, for me, martial arts, it was a gateway. I, you know, I used to play basketball. I love sports. So I was very competitive, and I really enjoyed the art. I thought it was something very beautiful. I studied seven styles of Japanese martial arts. So Aikido was my main style. jujitsu showed a common jujitsu, Kabuto. Yeah, no. It was amazing to just be completely immersed in that and do that five days a week. And I really loved it. But I was, you know, I was one of the only women there. I bet. Yeah. And I, you know, I didn't think about it at the time, you're a teenager, and you have these things happen. But I realized, looking back that I was uncomfortable. I was uncomfortable for, you know, with men, saying, Hey, you want to spar? You know, it was just kind of interesting. I don't know if I want that, you know, but at the time, it's like, oh, yeah, sure. Let me get in there. And so over time, I just realized, this didn't feel as safe to me. And I did have to deal with, you know, sexual harassment and a lot of adverse situations at my dojo with men. And so it was really hard because I went there so that I could learn to protect myself and I didn't feel safe. Yeah, and so I was doing salsa dancing. At the time I had, I had this amazing self defense partner, Lee Villy. Song, we still stay in touch. And he, he's low emission, and he studied Chinese martial arts as well as Japanese. And he would take me out salsa dancing, because he didn't know what was going on in my life. But he knew that, you know, something was just off. And so he was like, you know, when I'm stressed, I go salsa dancing. Do you want to go salsa dancing? And he was like a big brother. He still is. He's, you know, like, what you would want

Nicoa Coach: 22:18

the right kind of relationship the appropriate,

TASHA INA CHURCH: 22:22

the appropriate kind? Yeah. He would take me up salsa dancing and talk to me about you know, this is this is what you look for, from like a respectable salsa partner all of this stuff. And, and so for a year, I did that I had a wonderful time. I mean, I've I did it for years after but a year into me studying and going out dancing and having a wonderful time. I had someone buy me a drink, and I was refeed, at the ballroom that I was at, and taken from the ballroom, in my car over an hour away to this person's house. And this

Nicoa Coach: 23:08

was somebody in the group that had been in the salsa group with you for a year that you knew,

TASHA INA CHURCH: 23:14

yes, yes, I knew him. I danced with him almost every time that I was there. You know, he was very well respected as far as just being an amazing dancer. But he also was notorious womanizer. And for me, I don't, you know, I don't normally let people buy me beverages or anything like that. And just because of my upbringing, didn't drink a lot anyway. And so, you know, I remember specifically him offering me to offering to buy me a drink. And at the very beginning, when I was getting to know everybody, I was saying, you know, I teach martial arts, thinking that's, oh, that's safe. That puts me in this safe box. And, and getting to know all of these different people under that of like, Oh, I'm safe, because I'm letting them know, I teach martial arts, so therefore, I will kick your butt. But he, he asked if he could buy me a drink. And I remember saying to him, just one drink. And he goes, yep. And, and it was weird. And I saw him talking to the bartender for a while, and he came back and gave me this drink. And I, you know, I didn't drink the whole drink. I remember drinking some of it, and then maybe about 15 minutes later, just really feeling off. And then I barely I couldn't really walk out. I remember him, like throwing my arm over his shoulder and then him telling people Oh, I'm drunk. Walking me out the door. And yeah, I remember the drive. There. I just kept on looking down because I couldn't move my body. Had Yeah, no use of my lens. I just kept on looking down at my feet. And, you know, there's that Kill Bill part where she's like, move your big toe.

Nicoa Coach: 25:26

You're like, I can't I just Oh,

TASHA INA CHURCH: 25:32

yes. And so I was telling, you know, I'm telling myself move, like just looking at my hands like move. And so by the time I got to his house, which was an hour away, and he's carrying me up to his room, I'm realizing like, my feet can move a little bit, my hands can move a little bit. And so intuition is kicking in, and it's telling me like, wait, and so he leaves the room. And I'm like, you gotta move. And so I got up and it felt like syrup. You know, it felt like I was moving through syrup. That's, that's how I see those terrifying dreams that women have where, where they're running, and they're running so slow.

Nicoa Coach: 26:14

Yeah, I've had those dreams. They're terrible. They're horrible. They're

TASHA INA CHURCH: 26:18

horrible. You know? I will say that after doing self defense for so long, those dreams go away. Wow. Yeah. But I remember getting to my keys, and like, you know, grounding myself like, Okay, you're gonna have one chance at this. And he walked in, and I hit him in the face with the keys. And I ran, which was probably walking, but then I fell down a flight of stairs, and I had to drive myself home at three o'clock in the morning. And, and I called my girlfriend at that time, and told her what was happening. She was my salsa dancing friend. And so she's like, Oh, my God, I'm, I'm, you know, three hours away, and I start working four hours, I can't come get you, can you please pull over and call the cops. And I just said, you know how I was dressed this evening, there's no way I can call the cops. They're going to they're going to judge me. And this is, you know, this is what this is how someone who's 21 Is, is going to think because a lot of it is very true. There's a lot of men who will judge you and say, Well, why were you wearing that? What did you say, you know, oh, you accepted a drink from this person? And it's just like, gosh, you're

Nicoa Coach: 27:44

afraid? Down? You're only 21? I mean, let's think about that. I have I have I happen to have six kids three and three with my second marriage. And, you know, they range in age from 26 to nine to 18. And yeah, they're insecure, no matter how much confidence we've been imbued or instilled in them, they still have the well, what will they think? Well, what will they say? Well, I felt guilty because I took the drink, or, yeah,

TASHA INA CHURCH: 28:14

I get it. Yeah. And then the other thing, too, just, you know, I was, I didn't want my parents to worry. And that's a huge thing. I mean, I think that a lot of times parents, they automatically go to this place. Well, why didn't you tell me? You know? kids care about you? Yeah, you don't want you to worry. i It was, I was in my 30s when I finally said what happened to me at my martial arts school and share different things that had happened. My parents had to hear what happened with salsa on a podcast. Oh, wow, they heard and my mom and dad, my dad was just mortified, so frustrated and angry, because they would go salsa dancing with me. And they constantly say, hey, why don't you dance with that guy? You guys looked so good together? And I would just be like, No, Mama, you know, I don't want to dance with this person. But you don't want to explain Yes, because he refeed me take me and khidmat kidnapped me took me over to his house and was going to probably rape me. You know, and it was just such a tough thing because I was trying to be strong. And we have this idea of what strong is, you know, for women, a lot of times that it has a lot of it just has a lot to do with masculine behavior. And for me, I'm a very feminine person. So learning what strong is as a woman, I think is so important for all women and girls. You can be strong kick butt, take names, and wear high heels if you want to see right

Nicoa Coach: 30:04

off. First of all, I want to commend you for sharing your story. I think it's Brene Brown says that we release any of that shame or fear by putting it on the table in front of us by talking about it. And you know, you did what you believed you needed to do and you didn't do anything wrong. Not one thing wrong. I know you know this, but you know, just to reiterate it one more time for you. You know, and Not telling your parents you chose to do that, because you love them and you didn't want them to feel bad or worried or, you know, think that their little girl didn't, you know, couldn't hold her own. You obviously can. So you, you took that experience? And then how did that change your way of being in the fact that you kept going back to salsa class? Good for you?

TASHA INA CHURCH: 30:52

Well, it was, it was salsa dancing, I just, you know, I went to the ballroom, I loved it, it was wonderful to just be there with people. And that was, you know, that was my happy place because of what was happening at my martial arts school of being, you know, dealing with sexual harassment and all these other things. It was like, this is a place where I can feel beautiful and sexy and not have to not have to worry. But then, you know, of course, after that, you worry.

Nicoa Coach: 31:21

And so, going back and you and your parents, your parents went there with you as well.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 31:28

Yeah, they Wow. My mom would go salsa dancing with me. You know, after after that experience, I was like, safer to be with my parents. Well,

Nicoa Coach: 31:37

that's a good point. Very good point.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 31:41

But you know, in. And so for me, as I was driving home that evening, I actually had this epiphany, oh, my gosh, I need to, I didn't use the moves that I learned at my martial art school. I need to have a curriculum for women and girls that's relevant. Because a lot of people don't understand this. There's over 220 martial art styles. There's only five made by women, as well. And you think of martial arts. And it is it's an art. It was designed by men for men to support them in practicing for war. And for Boxing, boxing was designed by men for men to help, you know, and when it came to, well, obviously, it was the sport. But then on top of that, you know, it helped with street fighting. How many fights do women get into? Very few? Very few. And so just making sure that, you know, for me, I wanted to create something that was relevant for women. So I got my self defense partner, Lee Villa Hassan, who, you know, he also did not know what was happening. I didn't share with him. I talked to him about it, my 30s. And he's like, Why didn't you tell me? Yeah. Why didn't you tell me what's happening at the martial arts school? Why didn't you tell me what's happening? Why do you think

Nicoa Coach: 33:08

you waited that long? And I'm, I asked and curious as to your reflection on that waiting?

TASHA INA CHURCH: 33:17

Yes, absolutely. So I think that this is common for, you know, some so many women, you don't want people to look at you differently. You don't want people to look at you and think you're broken. You don't want people to judge you. There's the thought of, oh, you know, salsa dancing. She had it coming. Oh, you know, martial arts. You're hanging out with guys all day. And, you know, sparring? Of course, there's probably some, some connections there. And it's like, well, yeah, there's the connection, as this person is, you know, another, another participant in class, they're, you know, a colleague or a teammate or whatever. But that doesn't give you the right to cross the line, of course. And so I think that a lot of women who go to martial arts have this experience. In fact, a large majority of the women who I speak to who are in my profession, had an experience at a martial art school with the martial arts instructor and go for for me, I'm like, okay, my story is not new. This kind of stuff has happened. And it's, it's really sad that it does happen where you go into a place to feel safe, and it's a predatory environment. But for me, I went over over 800 self defense booths with myself defense partner, but I was wearing three inch heels and a dress, I wanted to put together a curriculum that, you know, you could be wearing a dress, you could be wearing maybe one of the most compromising outfits ever, and you could still protect yourself. And so I put it in a curriculum, and I pitched it to a school I ended up getting a program in one school and it moved from one school to three schools to four and they asked me to go district wide and my my partner asked me to move to Maui. So ah,

Nicoa Coach: 35:15

yeah, well, you know, bad things happen, and I still think there's value in all Yes, yes. And they always I can remember some things happening where there's voice in my head said you need to have the So in your experience to help others, and so clearly, the value is there for you that you have created such a beautiful outcome. And you've helped so many people we've helped 1000s of people all over the world. In multiple countries, you have an online offering, which is really quite beautiful. Talk to me about the mission and vision here. Yes, your you want it for women in any circumstance, you know, the heels and the tight leather skirt whatever, though, yeah, I see my daughter already. There she is. She's gonna, I'm gonna send her to your course. So she can kick ass.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 36:11

There you go. Yes, that's the dream. For me, I have, it was 2018 When I first decided to actually make an online course. And it was because of a student she came in. And it was one of those moments. And here's, if you're an entrepreneur out here, this might make you happy. I had no one in class. And I was like, Oh, my God. And so I was thinking, you know, universe God, if I'm supposed to do this work, you need to give me some sort of sign. Because if not, then I'm just cutting it. Like, it's not paying bills. And I had started my business in 2016. And really loved it. I mean, you know, I'm passionate about it. And, and it's my life's work. And I was getting ready to shut everything down. And this woman walked into my class. And I said, you know, there's only you. So like, I apologize. And she's like, don't apologize, I get a private session. This is amazing. All right, let's do this. And come to find out she had an incident happen in college at knifepoint that she did not get out of 20 years before. And so I walked her through how to use her voice how to how to go through that same scenario where she was, you know, laying down her hands were pinned and she had a knife in her throat. I have fake knives, you're not practicing with real knives with me. But fake knives and we went through what she could do. If something like that happens. Now I have a rule. Whenever I'm talking to students, and it's don't should on yourself, this should occur. Because how many times are you in class and you're like, Oh, my God, I wish I could have done that, you know, like, or you're watching a movie. And you're just like, yep, that's the move. I could have used that move. And you just, Oh, your eat yourself up? Because of all the things that you did not do. And we don't just do that. Because of these scenarios. We do it in life. Every day.

Nicoa Coach: 38:24

Oh, yeah. I tell my clients always have stopped shooting all over yourself. Yeah, that's

TASHA INA CHURCH: 38:28

good. Do not should on yourself. Yeah. And so um, you know, for me, it was just really important to get her through this session and have her feel empowered, and understand that she did nothing wrong. Because oftentimes, with a lot of victims, we blame ourselves, we blame ourselves so much. And it takes a really long time to heal. And that's also why we don't share with other people because we're ashamed. Or we, you know, we are worried we're going to look down on and be looked down on and so, for the session afterwards, she looked at me, and she looked in my eyes and she goes, everyone needs to know this. Everyone needs to know what you just taught me. This is amazing. And she goes, I don't tell a lot of people this, but I'm an influencer online. And I teach women's health courses online. I think you need and of course, yes. Okay. You know, I never thought about it, but let's do it. And so she helped me she gave me a blueprint, basically, like, this is what how people would be able to digest self defense online, because so many people were like, oh, no, you can't do that. I even went to the next year, it was 2019. And I went to this global self defense training call through ESD global it's a global empowerment Self Defense Organization. And the founder of that and the president, I was telling her, you should do an online course and she goes, Oh, there's no market for that.

Nicoa Coach: 40:14

And that was 2019 Little did they know.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 40:19

Then I was like, Okay, no problem, you know, and I just kept on kept on keeping on and I and then the pandemic happened and it Domestic violence went up by 46% in Hawaii. And so Oh, it's giving me a thumbs up crank it up.

Nicoa Coach: 40:43

On the video, guys, you remember I did that once on a story on my phone and I kept doing a thumbs up. I was talking and it kept thumbs up. So we're just getting validation from the angels and

TASHA INA CHURCH: 40:54

we agree. They agree agree with us. Yes. Great. And so, um, so yeah, so the pandemic happen, and I gave away 46 of the courses that I had for my online course. Because because of that percentage percentage I wanted to bring, I wanted to support women. And I was looking at the course and I'm like, this is kind of outdated. I've learned so much more since since 29th 2018. I need a new course. And so happened to be at a waterfall, hiking down this waterfall, you know, like, on the rocks with my partner, he and he and I, we just celebrated our 10 year anniversary last year in August. Oh.

Nicoa Coach: 41:43

So you know, happy anniversary.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 41:46

Yeah, I mean, a lot of people after these experiences, and I've had a lot of lived experiences as a survivor, think that you can't have this, like, you can't have that relationship. And I really want people to understand that they're deserving of it. Ya know, we've been through a lot. You deserve the Boone so yeah, so we're hiking down this waterfall. And he, I he's talking and I looked down and I realized my fanny packs unzipped. My fanny pack had my phone and phone goes over the fanny pack drops down, lands on my foot and just hovering there. Like oh my gosh, reiland. goes down into the waterfall into the pool of water. And I look over at him and I'm like, oh my god, Rylan This is my life go die for it. Diving you know those cats that hate water like angry and dejected. And like, you know, and he's so frustrated and, and I was there with the this girlfriend and she looks over at this guy who looks like a giant meditating on a rock. God and Beast nice if somebody could help us, you know. Total superhero moment didn't do that. Man. Where did you last your phone? Like funny? Over there? You know, does one dive comes up? Hey, how's it going? You know?

Nicoa Coach: 43:30

And those phones are pretty resilient too. So that's cool. But

TASHA INA CHURCH: 43:34

yeah, looking at the face that my boyfriend had, like, after all my work

Nicoa Coach: 43:41

one time,

TASHA INA CHURCH: 43:43

you know, and I'm looking and of course my girlfriend's looking and like, wow, you know, he's attractive. And in my mind. He's the perfect guy to be

Nicoa Coach: 43:56

like, I got this guy. Yeah, I'm

TASHA INA CHURCH: 43:58

like, How can I make this work? And I was so excited. When I found out she got his phone number. I was like, Give me his phone number. She's like, why didn't I was just like, No, no, not for that, like, buy this phone number. So I can beat him up. And she's like, but you just met him? He did nothing wrong. You know, I'm just like, No, you don't understand. I need I need an online course. And you know, and so I was explaining it to her. And she became the girl in the course. So I have these videos and I'm teaching someone who's never learned self defense before in the course. And that's her. And then he you know, he was the attacker in the course. And Kyle is he's Tony Robbins bodyguard, sweetest guy. Oh, looks like an angry Mr. Clean on the outside. says this big teddy bear. And he's really, really sweet. And so I felt so bad. Because, you know, like he apparently he was telling me this story about how he was at the food trucks one day and these people walked up to him and they go that it's you. You're the attacker.

Nicoa Coach: 45:09

I love it. He's famous now for other reasons other than Tony Robbins. saw

TASHA INA CHURCH: 45:14

you on the news, you know, and it's because I had this connection with the news station. And so I use some of the videos in the news station and they're so I felt so bad for oh gosh, I felt so bad for him because he didn't know that I had put them in the news there. out there in the news, he knew that they were in the course. And so yeah,

Nicoa Coach: 45:35

that was just again, all this divine intervention, right? Like you, things are put in place for you and you're in 2020. It's the pandemic, and you're, you know, when you give you receive you had just given away. Oh, it's beautiful. Yeah. And mainly about your your vision. How do you like when you're when you're doing the work? Now, how do you I mean, there were some things you talk about, like psychological first aid, you know, this whole thing about harmonious spirit. I want to bring those up, because I can only imagine how emotional mean when our bodies have cellular memory. And for these women and girls who are coming to you for this type of training, how do you hold a sacred space for the emotions that likely will come up in the training and you've got an online course? How does that person hold space for themself? Whether in their own living room?

TASHA INA CHURCH: 46:33

Yes. So you know, I do disclaimers, I like people understanding from the get go, it's going to be emotional. I have a lot of people who don't do. Don't do self defense courses, like it takes them forever to walk in my door. And I want it, they need it. But it takes them forever to walk into my door, because then that means that they have to face what happened. Yeah, it. And so I let them know from the get go, you will get triggered, you're going to have moments, it's going to be hard. But I can tell you afterwards, it is so freeing, the experience that you will have it frees you, it will give you the strength and the courage to be able to do things that you never thought you were capable of, because of the fact that you are holding yourself back from experiencing these things. Because we don't want to hurt our bodies,

Nicoa Coach: 47:39

protecting your heart protecting, you had to most people have to go inward in order to cope. And it's a very normal human way of being. And that's helped them, you know, get along in life. Yeah, survive. Yeah.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 47:55

So, you know, for me, I say it as a disclaimer, I let people know what they're getting into, you will experience a lot, it will be very hard. But there's so much of a reward on the other side. It's so beautiful and amazing when you find your voice or reclaim it. Because it's powerful, you are so powerful. Women, you know, especially when you're using your voice and you are striking, you're 10 times stronger when you use your voice than when you don't. And one study from the National Justice Institute, stated that 75% of all physical confrontations could be avoided through verbal communication, the feel out stage. So we go to these self defense courses. And I think that it's great that there are self defense courses and that, you know, men are teaching self defense for women, because obviously, there's a passion there and they want to support. However, you know, when women experience something, it's it's very different, the experience is different. And so our experiences when it comes to violence, gender based violence specifically, is so unique, and it's not comparable. And so when you are working with a woman, and especially one who is a survivor, most empowerment self defense is instructors are survivors. Really amazing to see the response the reactions and what can happen. You know, because they hold space, a lot of people if you're looking into look into empowerment, self defense, not just saying that because I teach it, I'm saying it because I believe in it. I think that it's a wonderful tool for for all people all genders, especially women though. Just because you know when you are doing it, it's trauma informed. And that's also how I hold a space. I let people know this is a trauma informed space. If you need to grieve, grieve, if you need to go off to the side, do it if you need to go and pause and come back you can. If my assistance there usually I'll say like you can raise your hand and my assistant will go off with you and hold space for you. When you are going through it but I am not I'm going to stop teaching. Right? So one of the misconceptions, you know, and I and I had a student, and oh, gosh, it breaks your heart when you hear these things. But, you know, I had this student and she got triggered. And because of one of the moves, and she looked at me, and she goes, Why didn't you save me? And I see the hurt, I could see, like, you know, there's, there's this part of her like the inner child saying what, you know, why didn't Someone save me? And I, and that hits so close to home for me, because I just kept on thinking as this young girl, even though I didn't want to tell my parents and didn't want to tell, you know, all these other people. It's like, Why can't somebody come in and just save me from this experience? Why do I have little bone? And she said that to me. And, you know, I looked at her and I said, because it's not my job. It's your job. It's your job to save yourself. It's your job, to fight for yourself. And so many of us want someone else to come in and save us. And you know, and maybe there will be someone who wants to, but they're not going to be with you 24/7 They're just not, you know, I had a husband and wife come in, and I worked with him for five years. And the reason why they originally came in is because he said, I want to learn moves, so that I can protect her if we need to, because they're Asian, and they dealt with a lot of Asian hate. And it was just so sad to me. And she's, you know, she was a sexual assault survivor. And so I worked with her and him for five years. And it was just amazing. Take this 90 pound woman and see her breaking a board. And it's just the most empowering, invigorating experience. And, you know, and, and I loved seeing that. And I got messages from her. When she moved off Island, she moved to Portland, and she sent me messages. And she said works, you know,

Unknown: 52:45

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Nicoa Coach: 53:01

Well, you talk I mean, you reference Asian hate in that situation. And in your website, and I want to make sure I'll put all the details. But in your website you talk about you also offer space and accommodation in this type of training for people with disabilities. People at risk. So talk a little bit about that. And also, I'd love for you to share the work you're doing with with middle schools and the program that you created. Yeah, yeah.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 53:31

So I really love working with kids. It's a passion of mine, I have an education background and, and so during the pandemic, I actually got this program into schools, and we did an online program that was eight weeks long. And it was so wonderful to just be able to work with work with all of these girls and see them blossom over that eight weeks and open up about things that were happening in their lives get support in things that they probably wish that they could have conversations with their parents about, but then also didn't want them to worry. Yeah, and so I ended up doing that. And I also got a contract with the Girl Scouts of Hawaii, and ended up traveling to different islands. So I traveled to Oahu in May and did workshops for the Girl Scouts of Hawaii and just it was so cool to see these little girls with their their moms doing self defense together. And, and just learning these basic skills. You know, a lot of times we we think, oh what are the physical skills that we need to learn but using your voice so powerful understanding awareness of, you know, just bringing your head up, are we in this tech age where we're so focused on our phones and we're so focused on everything else, you know, that's happening internally, we're not very aware of what's going on. So just having seen them be so aware of their surroundings and asking questions and getting curious.

Nicoa Coach: 55:19

I love curious keep going. I would love to hear what what are some things you could articulate for our listeners that they can immediately apply like, you know, having your head up not walking down this Really looking down at your phone? What other actual practices? Could we maybe share today?

TASHA INA CHURCH: 55:38

Yes. Okay. So for one thing is, if you're ever going to go on a date, to a new place, a case out the place, I go there beforehand, I know my exits. You know, a lot of times we go into a restaurant and I, you know, we sit down, we get a meal. I usually go I sit down, I think, okay, where are the exits? There's usually one where in the kitchen, and then there's going to be one in the front. Are there any other exits? So yeah, so for me, I just really wanted to make sure that that they had basic tools to utilize. And so when I go into a restaurant with a client or something, I'll have them sit down and look around and say, Okay, what do you see?

Nicoa Coach: 56:30

Yeah,

TASHA INA CHURCH: 56:30

what are you aware of? Because even so I think, I want people to look at a broader term when it comes to self defense. Instead of just thinking physical confrontation, somebody's yelling and screaming at you. What infringes upon your peace?

Nicoa Coach: 56:47

So tell me more.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 56:48

When you have a day, like, let's say that you go into the office, and you listen to your boss screaming and raging at someone doesn't have to be you that did that affect your peace? Is it going to join you for a while? You know, and so when it comes to self defense, I'm thinking, what keeps you safe? What keeps your mind safe? What keeps your body safe? You know, what do you need to do for yourself in order to support you? Right?

Nicoa Coach: 57:21

What can you do to ground in that moment and create space or protection around you so that you aren't triggered and reacting to such a dynamic that's this is really powerful, because you're not always the direct recipient of an attack, you might just be getting the vibrational, you know, impact the ripple effect of it.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 57:42

Well, just think of if you have a partner, and your partner had a long day, and they come home angry, do you not feel that I know that I, I'll walk in a you know, like, a walk into a room, my partner's had a bad day, he doesn't even have to look at me, I can feel the energy in the room like, oh, wow, you are not having a good one. And so I'll suggest I'm like, Hey, have you you know, how's your day, and I'll ask and see how he's doing. If he's had a bad day, it's like, what are certain go to things that you can do for yourself? I have my go to things, bike riding, swimming in the ocean, going and jumping in a waterfall. You know, you might not have those right nearby, but what are the things that you can do for yourself automatically, that make you happy 15 minutes of dancing can up your serotonin level like that. So you know, just being able to have these go to things that you can do. And it's hacking the system. And it you know, it's really seeing the serotonin, it's dropping down your levels when it comes to anxiety and stress. And when you are constantly in a fight or flight mode, that affects your body in so many different levels, I just had my self healing course come out the week of the fire. And I talked to people about somatic movements, and how you can calm your body calm your nervous system, the vagus nerve, when you have a traumatic situation, it's off, it's gonna take a while for it to go back. Thumbs up, yes. It agrees with me.

Nicoa Coach: 59:24

And the somatic piece is big. I'm also an ontological coach. So I work with body emotion and language. And I'm really glad you mentioned that. And what I find really unique here, and I hope everybody's picking up on this is yes, you have these courses. Yes, we're going to learn reactionary or responsive ways of moving and saving ourselves physically. But where did we? Where did we really come back to write the emotions of this? The Voice, the calming? How can you find safety in your own body in yourself when your autonomic nervous system is having a stress trigger? So yeah, this is really beautiful. What else can you share with us?

TASHA INA CHURCH: 1:00:06

Oh, I mean, I could share all day, there's. And there's so much that I just think is so important. One big thing is asking, What do I need right now? And this goes for everything. You might have a horrible day in the beginning, and it's like, do you want to live there? Do you want to stay there? No, I don't want to stay there. How can I change that? What do I need right now? And women, I don't think we give ourselves enough credit, we don't give ourselves enough of what we need. They did a study that women neglect to go to the bathroom as much as men do. And it's like, yes. Hello. So asking yourself what you need? Do you need to go to the bathroom? Do you need to go and get a beverage, so you can hydrate? Do you need food. And the reason why I say this, in relation to self defense, is because what happens when you deny yourself those things, you are not fully present where you are, you're focused on things, you're focused on food, you're focused on needing to go to the bathroom, you're focused, you know, if you have a fight with a friend or something like that, it's hard for you to work right? Or if he if that's right, you're not going to meet even

Nicoa Coach: 1:01:29

the whole thing about basic needs. When I was in the corporate world, I denied my basic needs so frequently, that I'm now 55. And I have to go work with a pelvic floor therapist, because I would not go to the bathroom. And my body began to not trust me anymore. And therefore it's like, yeah, I know, you say, we're about to get up and go to the bathroom. But I don't believe you. So I have to have a conversation with my body and learn relaxation techniques. And there's already an interview with my pelvic health therapist earlier in this podcast, season one. It's not TMI, yeah, so powerful. The work that you're talking about. We are multi layered beings energetically, physically, emotionally. And it sounds like the work that you're doing is really, like you say, it's elevating, you know, awareness. It's empowering people and helping people become advocates for themselves. And you're you truly are inspiring spirit, especially with the history and stories that you've shared. What are you working on now? And what else would you like to share with our audience? Well,

TASHA INA CHURCH: 1:02:45

thank you, I have so many different projects, oh my gosh, I just got approved for two new courses. So those are coming out, it's another self defense course on top of the one that I I have with the transformation Academy. And if you are a coach or if you are wanting you know, professional development training, or if you just want the skills so then you can use them or pass them along. I highly recommend going to the transformation Academy and getting the empowerment self defense course. I just launched on my website, the 21 Day Challenge. And it's 21 days of impairment self defense, we go over self care, we go over awareness, we go over the five principles of self defense which are think yell, run, fight and tell. And so think you're looking at your awareness to do it as a chair with the girls so you know the girls programs like think yell run, fight, tell, it's really fun. Okay, thank

Nicoa Coach: 1:03:42

you. Oh, run, fight. Tell I got it. is awareness. You want to walk through them? For us? That's really

TASHA INA CHURCH: 1:03:50

cool. Of course. Yeah. So think it's your awareness? And that's environmental, environmental awareness to what do I see around me? Where are my exits? What do I need for myself to be safe? Social awareness, what's happening in front of me with the dynamics here? Is this person a safe person? You know, should I question them? What are what do they have? Do they have a weapon? Are they near things that could compromise me? What are they saying? Do I feel comfortable with it? Do I feel safe? And then asking yourself, How do I feel right now? Do I feel safe in my body? Do I feel safe in the location that I'm in? Do I need to move? What do I need in order to feel safe? So that's that piece. So we have think yell yell means a boundary. So setting a boundary with somebody, I tell people about this, you know, you teach others how to treat you nip it in the bud. Like let them know exactly how it is. Because when you do that I have had I've dealt with sexual harassment in the workplace. I've also nipped it in the bud right away, and they respect you after.

Nicoa Coach: 1:05:03

Yeah, you're not you're not an easy prey either. If you're assertive and you speak up, do not speak to me that way. That's completely inappropriate, right? Yeah.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 1:05:13

I am saying I don't feel comfortable.

Nicoa Coach: 1:05:16

I don't I don't feel comfortable. Okay. comfortable with what

TASHA INA CHURCH: 1:05:19

you said. Because sometimes when you say you, you you, you know, then it's like ramps people up, it gets them escalated. But when you're saying I don't feel comfortable right now, I don't feel comfortable with the way you're talking. I mean, good, you know, so that lets them know how you're feeling. And they can't argue with you. No, you don't feel that way? Of course you do. Yeah. So

Nicoa Coach: 1:05:41

you don't know how I feel? Yeah, yeah.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 1:05:44

And so we have thank yell, run and run can be a couple of things run could be walking away can say, You know what, I'm getting ramped up right now, I don't think that you and I are going to find a common ground, I'm going to leave. And when you are in a better space to communicate with me, I will be in a better space to communicate with you. Or, I can understand you right now, because you're yelling, and I am feeling very triggered. So I don't think that we can have this conversation. I'm gonna go, or you can, you know, if they're at your house, you can ask them to leave, you know, feel comfortable, where this is going, I would like you to leave. Thank yell, run, fight, fight can be verbal fight can be physical, but it's, you know, gloves are off. You know, in martial arts, there's rules and boxing, there's rules, there are no rules when someone is trying to put their hands on you. Or when somebody is getting verbally abusive with you. There are no rules people I've heard in some self defense classes, like, Don't smile, you know, is a trauma reaction. So many women smile, I've smiled and hit somebody in the face. Like I smiled and broke somebody's wrist when they were trying to drag me out on a dance floor. I'm like, you know, you can smile and still do the move. And it's just fine. You know? That's right.

Nicoa Coach: 1:07:12

I don't even know how to not smile.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 1:07:14

Oh, I know. Because we're, it's like a programming. Right? No smile, you'll be happier. And yes, it is a great hack. Because it's like, oh, you know, the, the serotonin levels go up automatically. But still, it's important for you to be able to honor yourself. So there's that think you'll run, fight and tell and tell is one of the most important ones. I talk to people about this. And it's automatically like, oh, you should tell the police. Some people don't feel comfortable talking to the police. Some people don't feel comfortable talking to their parents, I say tell someone, you can, you know, if you need to, and you don't feel comfortable telling anyone start out with telling your journal, get it out of your head. Because the fact is, is that how you get PTSD is this. I, I talked about how it reminds me of those old VCR tapes, they would skip back to like one moment, get back and skip back. And so throughout the day, that's all you're thinking about is that moment when something horrible happen, and you didn't respond in the way that you wanted to, or you didn't do this or that or, you know, you're just thinking about the the act of it, and it was really horrible. So just making sure that you are telling someone, even if it's telling a journal, and or if it's writing a letter, you know, I've talked to my clients about this all the time, write a letter to that person saying every single thing you wish you could say, or have a letter from them. If you actually care about that person have a letter from them to you, you know, you writing it, saying all the things you wish that that person would have said to you and burn it. Let it go. Yeah.

Nicoa Coach: 1:08:59

Oh my gosh, the fact that you said journaling, I actually just published the journal that I'm selling for with prompts. And, you know, journaling has been the one constant for me throughout my entire life. I was reading in my 10 year old journal. Recently, I actually recognized that I had been, there was some inappropriate behavior even as young as 10 that I did not realize that happened to me. I didn't remember. It was like, holy, yeah. It's like what the hell? So no wonder right? All these like we have these embedded memories and but tell yes, that's a critical step. And if you if you can get it out, as my old administrative assistant used to say, crying in my office, many a day, she'd be like, Better out than in Better out than it. Yeah. It's

TASHA INA CHURCH: 1:09:50

so true. It's so true. Because you just, it hurts your heart when you you keep those things in. I love that. You have a journal I'm one of so I have three workbooks that are actually going to be published in the next two weeks. Ah,

Nicoa Coach: 1:10:04

yeah, I just showed her y'all, you know, had to show it off.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 1:10:08

It looks very, very nice. You should check it nice. Yeah, so I have I have three workbooks that are going to be published in the next three weeks. And basically, it's a self defense workbook that actually shows video visuals of the different moves and the blocks and breaks everything down and self assessments where you can actually go through it and say, you know, like how you felt you did on that. It gives prompting questions, it'll actually give prompting questions about your past so that you can work through past trauma. And it is, it does have a journaling aspect to it, where you're writing in there and reflecting, you know, like, this brings me back to this moment. And so it's, it's very supportive. And, you know, I

Nicoa Coach: 1:10:54

was amazing, I cannot wait, I'll, I'm gonna put these in the links. So I always take every interview, all the books, all the journals, whatever you want me to publish, I will that I

TASHA INA CHURCH: 1:11:06

have, yeah. self, self care, one that's also coming out. And it literally has like a week long plan of ways that you can do self care for yourself along with, like, you know, examples of things that you can do for healthy eating, or nutrition, or all these other things. So it's just a whole package of all of this stuff. But I just wanted people to, you know, they, they're always asking me, what do you do here? Or how do you feel about this? What is your what are your thoughts here, and I was like, I just need to get all this out. In a workbook. It's like 150 pages.

Nicoa Coach: 1:11:40

So it's mine. And I tell you, Oh, you're gonna share it anyway. You might as well compile it in a in a format that digestible by your clients, your and your friends and whoever's in need of it. So you had mentioned that there might be an offering that we could send to our listeners today? Is there something I forgot to check with you on that? But you had mentioned there might be like, discount code or something? If not, we can.

TASHA INA CHURCH: 1:12:11

Yes, I can actually, can I send that to you? And then yes, edit it in. But yes, I have my 21 day challenge, I have a discount. So then you can just get it for$21. So literally, you get a workbook with that you get the videos with it, you can ask me questions along the way. You know, it's just a fun way of doing it. So then you're learning and it's an introduction to everything. And you know, and then I also have discount codes, which I'll I'll share for the online courses, if you're curious about those as well. Oh,

Nicoa Coach: 1:12:46

Tasha, that is very, very generous, I can tell that you have been very generous in your entire life by design journey. What is the best thing about your life by design right now, that's serving you the most? Oh,

TASHA INA CHURCH: 1:12:59

my gosh, I just, I love waking up in the morning and doing my morning routine. I geek out on the fact that you know, I have this, this thing. And everybody thinks that something else when I say it, it's called the for 20 rule. But it's 2020 minutes of reading 20 minutes of reading 20 minutes of meditation or prayer depending on how you view your life and, and then 20 minutes of exercise. So I do that in the morning. And the reason why is because there was a study done on ballerinas throughout their whole lifespan and the practice moves over 2000 times. So they're with dance, they are firing all the areas of their brain. And they do that in the morning. And I was like, Okay, how can I fire all of the areas of my brain so the 420 rule became a thing because you are actually firing at the different areas of your brain. So you're naturally more awake, you're more present, I am 10 times more productive doing this every day. And, you know, part of the piece of me living my life, as it is authentically. I'm for those of you out there who are ADHD. I'm very ADHD. And so for me to be able to have agency over my own schedule to be able to drop everything for a friend when they're having a really crummy day. Or being able to, you know, FaceTime my parents and check in on them. And their, you know, the family and everything and make sure everything's all right. It means the world to me to have that freedom.

Nicoa Coach: 1:14:49

Oh, I think that is exactly what lives by design are is a freedom of choice. Yes. And you can create it any way you like, and you can't get this thing called life wrong. And I just want to thank you from my deepest of my heart because you and I didn't know each other, and I kind of invited you on a whim and who knew how robust and fabulous This interview was going to be. I just am so grateful. You have so much to offer. I'll make sure and give all the details in the show notes. Last but not least, what's the one thing you want to celebrate about yourself before we hang up

TASHA INA CHURCH: 1:15:32

Well, it's a great question. Um, I think that with my healing journey, it's been over. It's been over 12 years now. And it's been a whole process of learning and relearning and unlearning different patterns. And I'm just so grateful for where I'm at in this journey of loving myself for who I am. authentically, I think that it's so important for you to love who you are. Because at the end of your life, you don't want to look back and think, What if I had just broken down those barriers, and really just loved myself? Where would I be at? I think that it's, it's so wonderful to have that feeling to know that I just truly love myself, and I'm always going to fight for myself. I tell people, I love myself fiercely because I do and I think that it's important for people to love themselves fiercely.

Nicoa Coach: 1:16:38

Absolutely. Well, I love you fiercely now, too. I'm so excited to have met you. Thank you. Yay. I knew there was a special connection when your middle name was the same as my grandmother's first name. I know. I was like, Oh, I gotta talk to that girl. Thank you, darling. I'm sure we'll be in touch and you'll send me all those details. Yeah, I love you have a fabulous day. And hang on and we'll put a bow on this. Thanks for listening, everybody.

Unknown: 1:17:11

Thanks for joining us for a caffeinated conversation. Subscribe to Coffee with Nicoa for more stories from people living a life by design. You can also find inspiration on Instagram. Just follow Coffee with Nicoa and check out our website Coffee with nicoa.com and that's Nicoa N IC O A. We look forward to talking with you soon. And enjoy your coffee between now and then.