S2 EP9: ARTHUR LARIN

Arthur Larin is a New York City-based entrepreneur and singer songwriter who started his freelance brand design business, Fixate, at the age of 17. AND, it turns out his Momma is Nicoa's good friend but when she referred Arthur for the podcast Nicoa didn't even know this! WHAT A DELIGHT to meet her son and spend time with Arthur in this caffeinated yet profoundly reflective chat about life, living and loving what you do and why you do it. Arthur’s thoughtfully reflects on life and his passions which lie at the intersection of art, technology, and living life on his own terms. Arthur is a true LIFE BY DESIGN Gen Z role model, y'all!

Learn more about Arthur Larin
Fixate, Founder / Creative Director
fixate.studio | LinkedIn | Instagram

LISTEN TO HIS FULL SINGLE "Passing Trucks" HERE

Buy your copy of YOUR LIFE BY DESIGN: A Coffee With Nicoa Self-Care Coaching Journal
on Amazon today! 

Transcript

Nicoa Coach: 0:01

Grab your coffee and join me Nicoa For a caffeinated conversation about life I'll be talking to people who have chosen to walk their own paths and just like me are creating a life by design. I hope that will give you the inspiration you need to do exactly the same. Arthur laren and you're on coffee with Nicoa. How are you this morning?

ARTHUR LARIN: 0:54

I'm doing well. How are you? Nicoa?

Nicoa Coach: 0:57

Coach, I'm good. I just realized it's not.

ARTHUR LARIN: 1:00

Morning. It's not we're close. It is

Nicoa Coach: 1:03

not morning. It is afternoon. So how are you today? My friend? I'm actually really pleased that we finally connected What is it take us three times

ARTHUR LARIN: 1:11

to schedule three times. Yeah. But here we are. So doesn't matter. No matter how we got here matters that we're here.

Nicoa Coach: 1:19

That's exactly right. Well, let me do a quick introduction of you. So all of my listeners can get super excited because you're a pretty cool guy. And I love the fact that you're still kind of early in your life by design. But you're going to probably give us some words of wisdom today that will help everybody listening. I have no doubt. Everybody, please meet Arthur Lehren. A New York City based entrepreneur and singer songwriter who started his freelance brand design business fixate fixate graphics.com. Is that right?

ARTHUR LARIN: 1:51

That's will fixate dot studio.

Nicoa Coach: 1:55

Studio. That's the latest URL. Okay, I must have been really stuck and deep into your past to get that graphic.

ARTHUR LARIN: 2:04

I think fixing graphics.com will also work to get you there. It

Nicoa Coach: 2:07

did seem to get Yeah. And there was great examples of some of the work that you've done. Now. You've been working with that business model since you were 17 years old. That's correct. And now you're 81 it's really shocking how much you've done.

ARTHUR LARIN: 2:24

Anyone? Don't I look so good for anyone you like so good. How

Nicoa Coach: 2:27

old? Are you actually? 2323 I have two children that are 23. So this stop it. Do you know Pippa? You know, pimp ah, oh my god.

ARTHUR LARIN: 2:46

Like we saw each other in middle school. I guess.

Nicoa Coach: 2:49

I did not remember that. That is so cool. You know, I did another podcast interview the other day. And it turned out that the person and I were interviewing and we also had a common friend, my ex husband, it was really quite entertaining. She was like did you know a guy named Mert? And I was like, Wait a minute. Nine family members overlap with everyone I meet it's we're all in the same circle. Yeah. It is a very small world. So I'll get to how I actually know you. And me. I can't wait to tell Pippa. Okay, let's stay focused. Nicoa. All right. So you are speaking of being focused, currently focused on growing fixate into a self sustaining business? You're also recording a debut EP, which you're going to release in 2024, you're still on track for that? Yes. Good answer. Because we'll have to do this again, so we can launch her up for everybody. Please. And before this very quickly, in your young career, you were running a big aquatics organization from, you know, co managing their staff and 10 plus commercial swimming facilities. I mean, you've actually already kind of been there done that, in spite of your young age. And your passion has really been to take that background and experience your tech experience. And really integrate that with your love of art and music. And, you know, you're acting I mean, you really have quite the, the list of, of creative loves. And I just love the phrase that you put in the end of your summary here is that you're living your life on your own terms. Tell us what that means to you. How is living life on your own terms a life by design for you?

ARTHUR LARIN: 4:38

Yeah, I think it to me means to not do something or behave a certain way because everybody else is and to really kind of question the norms and the structures that are in place. And yeah, rather than Just kind of blindly follow the default path. Kind of try things out and see see if there are other ways to go about things that maybe other people aren't, aren't thinking of? Well,

Nicoa Coach: 5:14

the first thing that comes to mind when you share that perspective is that you actually didn't go down the traditional education path is that tell us a little bit about that?

ARTHUR LARIN: 5:24

Yes, I think I knew. By the time I was 17, and I was starting to work on my design business, which was my junior year of high school, I, I already pretty well decided that I didn't want to go to college. And that I would just graduate from high school, and try to make things work and try to make a life for myself. And I will say, I feel very privileged to have even been in a, in a situation where I could consider that as an option. Because I know for sure, for so many people just having the opportunity to do good to go to college, or to even graduate high school. That is, that is a really profound privilege. And so I, I don't I don't take for granted the the position that I was in growing up in a white middle class family, and being a white sis male, and all the other ways that that make my life really easy. But yeah, since I could, I decided I would, I would try things out, and so forth. I

Nicoa Coach: 6:41

think having privilege means to take advantage of the privilege in many different ways. And, you know, privilege creates choice. And it doesn't just because you're making a choice due to the benefit of the privilege doesn't discount the fact that your choices might also be lifting others as you make those choices. Does that make sense? Right, yeah. People want you to have the choice. I mean, the opportunities are what we really want for people in the world. And, you know, I happen to know your mother, as I referenced earlier, and she and I both had the privilege of working together as coaches and really exploring consciousness levels and the way we see the world very differently. Is that where you gained much of your shift in perspective, or was your shift in perspective? A rebellion?

Unknown: 7:30

Yeah, I think

ARTHUR LARIN: 7:34

I think probably a little bit of both. Yeah. Are you asking me if if my mother and the parenting experience Yes.

Nicoa Coach: 7:42

Was that like a major influence in you giving yourself permission to do something different? Or, you know, I would have to say my kids probably felt a little bit of pressure from me to kind of do it the way society expects us to do it. And I know your mama, she might have been like, Honey, whatever you want to do that makes you happy. So I really, yeah, I love her style. I wish I had a little bit more Zan in my life.

ARTHUR LARIN: 8:09

Yeah, no, you're right. She she was like that both of my parents. At least from my perspective, I can speak for my my two older siblings. But I kind of felt like, Okay, this is, this is my sandbox, I can do whatever I feel like I want to do and they're going to be supportive, because they trust me. And yeah, so. So it was it was definitely partly the parenting I grew up with. And in other ways, too, it wasn't just the fact that they said, do what you want to do and will support you but the way that we were raised I think, more broadly, in a way that applies to to myself and my two older siblings. We were just raised to be very open minded and and that definitely contributed to, to the way that I've carried myself to

Nicoa Coach: 9:08

tell me more about being raised in an environment that's more open minded. I mean, I'm I'm all about conscious parenting now, and I wish I knew 23 years ago, what you will now know, when you if you ever choose to parent a child and you know, there's just how would you say that's unique?

ARTHUR LARIN: 9:30

I think it's there's definitely a big streak of optimism and giving people giving things giving your your outlook on the world the benefit of the doubt that yeah, believing that that 99.9% of people are kind and good, because I think that is true. and yeah, just, it feels like our, our default was to was to try and do good and to try and put others before ourselves and to make an effort to try and treat the planet better. Yeah, to think of marginalized groups, all those kinds of things.

Nicoa Coach: 10:31

Yeah, your mom is a good role model of self love as well. And trying to take that philosophy. And I'm sure she's instilled that in you and, you know, how do you treat your own body with that type of care and, and aware and open mindedness about your way of being? You know, I've had some pretty profound conversations with her over the years. And I forgot to tell everybody that the way I Found You was actually not through your mom, per se, because I did not know that she was referring you as her son. I didn't know who you were. You had posted about your music. And she said, You should interview Arthur, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, okay, and I went to your YouTube account. I'm like, Yeah, this guy looks cool. He's talking about his own life. He wants to go out on his own and do his thing. And, like, I had already invited you, and then she texted me. She's like, you do know, that's my son, don't you? And I was like, I do not know that. There was this video that you posted. That early on you were gonna go travel or something. Remind me I've already forgotten what was so intriguing about it for me, but you did like multiple videos of you all over like you were by design. Really? Yeah.

ARTHUR LARIN: 11:53

It's called gap life. It's like a mini kind of documentary style vlog. Documenting a month of my life. And now I look back and I cringe. But

Nicoa Coach: 12:08

no, it was awesome. Thank you. Crowd. Thanks. You're very good.

ARTHUR LARIN: 12:15

At whoever, whoever watch.

Nicoa Coach: 12:19

Tell us about that blog. Yeah, tell me what you did.

ARTHUR LARIN: 12:22

Yeah, so it's called gap life because I did not only take a gap year but I am so far I've taken a gap life. And just in case, anybody who is saying doesn't realize what gap life or gap year means it's a year off that you take from school between your senior year of high school and your your freshman year of college. So yeah, the idea Well, I I've always been interested in filmmaking and documenting my life through video. I actually had a, a more saturated YouTube channel, when I was 12 years old, where I made these little stop motion videos, and I did some singing videos back then, too. And one of my biggest regrets is that I deleted it out of embarrassment when I was 13 or 14. Oh, no, it's yeah, it's heart wrenching. But But yeah, so filmmaking has always been a fascination. And I just had this idea one day I died is soon after I had stopped working for the pool management company that you alluded to perform. So the time was mine to Phil was also just before I moved to New York City, and I decided to just make a month, a month long documentary about me trying to make things work, like starting back off on my own independently and the the subjects were music and design. So I set these goals at the beginning of the month to film to cover videos to post to YouTube to have those as a material to share with venues to try and get booked for a gig. And then the design goal I think was just to land a client just to to get a new project up off the ground. And I think I completed one of those goals in the video. But like any big creative project like that the the the reward was the journey and the process and I learned a lot and I'm glad I did it.

Nicoa Coach: 14:44

What did you learn what you learn about yourself?

ARTHUR LARIN: 14:49

Learn learning to trust your creative self and learning to to have have, like organic, creative expressions that are not impeded by insecurity or frustration. Those kinds of things that can get in the way, it really is like an ongoing, never ending process. And so, I do feel like there were, there was a lot of insecurity and frustration, like I said, that I experienced in that process where like, I wish I wish I could make this look better. I wish I had either better equipment or, or the skills to do this kind of edit. Yeah, it's just kind of I would say you get better and better at accepting the failures and accepting the shortcomings and just being grateful that that those really teach you the, the hands on skills and, and the specific things that you need to take note of for for the next time. Do you?

Nicoa Coach: 16:15

Do you have any memories of like, some real, you know, people have these conversion stories, right? So when you think about that month, or even right before that months, when you were quitting the other job? Did you have like an epiphany, like, Oh, my God, I'm not gonna live my life doing this for the rest of my life. Or I'm not gonna, do you know what that guy is doing? Or, you know, maybe even in the journey of that month? Well, what were some aha moments that you recall, like, Oh, I remember that one time, I'm broken down on the side of the road, like any examples like that, that come to mind that have helped drive your life by design today.

ARTHUR LARIN: 16:56

I don't know if I can think of anything specific from the process of, of creating the video. But I definitely knew, while I was, I was deep in the process, that this was the kind of thing that I that I want to do more of where I really am just, like practicing having an idea, and following it through to execution, and relying on my intuition and my creativity. And yeah, really my like, emotional process, too. And just seeing where it gets me.

Nicoa Coach: 17:34

You know, that's pretty profound. A lot of people don't even know how to articulate their emotions. So I love that you say that, because emotion I always say is energy in motion. It's what moves us. It's what's really moving our bodies, our minds, our creativity. So when you think about that for you, how do you foster that in your life,

ARTHUR LARIN: 17:56

going back to the video. But I am remembering now that it is that it did feel like a an important time of period of change. For me, personally, like I had, I had just come out of this full time job. And I felt like I went from, you know, having a routine, having hundreds of emails to respond to a week and so much responsibility to just kind of being to just kind of like floating, and then throwing mud at the wall in this video. And it was a really healthy reset. And there are clips in the video when I'm talking about experiencing. I think I talked about, like experiencing what feels like a personal change and like becoming a different person morphing into a different person. Yeah, I don't know if that answers exactly what your question was.

Nicoa Coach: 19:06

Well, I you continue to foster that awareness of, of that different person. And, and, and maybe before you can even answer that. I'm curious. How are you different from that young man doing that vlog that month of freedom and getting that taste? How are you different today? Like, maybe what was the self dialogue back then versus today? How's it different? Yeah,

ARTHUR LARIN: 19:31

I always think about it as returning to the person I was when I was 12 years old. Yeah, for Yeah, because there there was a concrete moment I can point to in middle school, but I thought oh my god, now I have to, I have to wear the Nikes and I have to have the same socks, everybody. And I have to like gel my hair and I have to like figure out how to get a girlfriend and all this stuff. Yeah, just just all of the sudden feeling this pressure to, to confine, obviously, fortunately, it didn't last very long. But I do. I was I was reminded of that, when I started feeling like I, I was out of high school I was I was further removed from an environment with like, type social norms, and I was free to just kind of, like be who be who I want to be. And a big part of that is, is not not conforming to a traditional masculinity. And a big part of it is, you know, the whole the, the bigger the topic at large here like designing your own life and, and doing the things you want to do. Regardless of of what other people think of them.

Nicoa Coach: 21:31

That takes bravery, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah. Why do you think we are so afraid? I mean, I have 82,000 opinions on this. But what I'm curious why do you think everybody is just so afraid to not conform?

ARTHUR LARIN: 21:53

I mean, at our core, it is instinctual, right? Like it's, it's it's fight or flight humans are programmed to do to fear the unknown. So I think it's

Nicoa Coach: 22:07

an the rejection of a of a tribe, like you're, you're supposed to be included, because if you weren't included, you would be left and you might get sick and die if you didn't have the support of the group. Right that yeah, that's that animalistic need.

ARTHUR LARIN: 22:24

Yeah. So it's it's ancient, no longer necessary instincts that that just keep us prisoners of fear. Yeah, that's

Nicoa Coach: 22:35

really where we have to recognize that that served us well, then. But now we're scanning the horizon for you know, are these the right shoes? Right? Likely? Yeah. How did how do you keep those traditional norms and societal expectations that they? Is it easier for your generation to do that than you think it might have been for mine? Or? I mean, I don't know, I'm a Gen X, or your Gen Z or Gen

ARTHUR LARIN: 23:07

Z? Yeah. Yeah. I want to say it's without a doubt easier, but then considering the impact that the internet has, and the the negative impacts of social media, maybe things are close to balancing out. And I say that I mean, the freedom that that we feel to be who we are, and the encouragement to be inclusive, and the norm to not be prejudiced. By that those are obviously incredible things. I think the artificial imagery of, of social media kind of brings us back down. At the same time,

Nicoa Coach: 23:49

yeah, it can. I think it too, depends on where you're focused. You know, I like the phrase where the mind goes, energy flows. And if I'm only following accounts that are about, you know, the Kardashians, I might feel extremely influenced to go get injections and keep my identity as beautiful or the traditional normal and have a female image as possible. And yet, I follow a lot of account of accounts that don't talk about those things. And I feel liberated and enlightened, like consciousness models all over the place. So if but if you don't know, you don't know. Right? You don't know where to look? Yeah. And then the algorithm gets you. Oh,

ARTHUR LARIN: 24:35

my gosh, yeah. Yeah, the algorithms is frightening. And I think that the issue is really multifaceted to like my, the biggest struggle that I feel in my relationship with my technology in general is just the the stimulation and the reliant on it when when I feel bored, and yeah, the you know, the the candy effect that you can just give

Nicoa Coach: 25:04

us the storefront hit. Yeah. Isn't that what it is? Every time we're in there? We're getting that hit. And yeah, dopamine, the dopamine hit. Yeah. And there's just part of me that thinks okay, but is there a cost to me elsewhere? And maybe I'm too blind to know it. You know, maybe I don't I can't see what what's happening. Talk to me though, about this yourself. Dialogue with yourself now, and I know it's only been a few years. But you've gone through a lot and done a lot. You've done a lot of brave things. You've had a lot of courage to go move to New York City. You know, you're I mean, a lot of people talk about doing that. But most people are too afraid to do that. I mean, I've been in in and out of New York City. That's some tough living. How, how's that going? And how do you talk yourself into staying motivated?

ARTHUR LARIN: 25:52

Yeah, yeah. Well, it's going great. Thanks for asking. Um, I will say I, I surprised myself when it happened. I would say the in the month or so after I moved to New York, I kind of looked back on the move. And I said, Was it really that easy? Like, all of a sudden I'm here? And, yeah, I mean, it's, it's not that easy. There's there are definitely a lot of steps and a lot of things to consider. I feel like I got lucky in a lot of ways. I felt financially secure, having just left this full time job. And having been a 22 year old without many expenses, I could save money to try and coach for a while with the move. But yeah, it's it's been one and a half years now that I've been in New York. And it feels it feels great. The biggest motivating factor is really just staying moving. Not letting things get to what's the word said? It's stagnant. Yes. Yep. And in practice, that means having things on my calendar. So

Nicoa Coach: 27:14

what happens if How do you know you're stagnant? When you get bored, and you're on your phone too much,

ARTHUR LARIN: 27:22

yes, that that could definitely happen. Yeah. And that happens when I wake up, and I don't know what to do with myself, I pull out my phone.

Nicoa Coach: 27:32

Freedom is kind of overwhelming sometimes, isn't it? Like, especially being an entrepreneur and on your own, and you're managing your own time, I remember when I quit my job. And I'd lie on the bed in the morning and think I'm paralyzed by choice. Like, I didn't know which way to go by. And I've moved through that over the years. And maybe this is something that could benefit you. Or you could just reflect on with me. I've moved through that to a space of if I wake up and I'm not really, I'm not clear, because I have the power of the pin that day. Like, I'm not clear where I need to be focused. I like to ask the question, what needs me today? What needs me? Sometimes interesting lead then like, then it'll pop in my head, the intuition piece? And yeah, what what happens for you? Is it more like you feel like you have to strive to do it, or?

ARTHUR LARIN: 28:26

Yeah, well, so for me, it comes down to what are the priorities? Like what is the one most important thing right now? And I think that asking the question, you said, what needs me it's a great way to figure that out. I'm gonna give that a shot. Yeah, I, I actually try and have, it doesn't happen every day, obviously, because nobody's perfect. But I try to have every day planned out the night before. And I try to have a loose like skeleton of the week, the week before to make it easier to plan out every day. And it's, it's a lifesaver for my mental health, and my stamina, and my career, everything.

Nicoa Coach: 29:23

So I know that you also have done like, distance running. Did you do track in school or something? I mean, I'm curious as to how do you take care of yourself? Like, what's your self care routine? A lot of people your age, haven't really sat down and fostered something like that. What you're saying to everybody is I get out ahead of this. Yeah, I'm gonna plan because I have a life I can see. So how do you do that from a basic primary needs perspective? Yeah,

ARTHUR LARIN: 29:54

well, like you mentioned earlier, that is something that I my value of self care I attribute to how I was raised and, and my mom, my dad, and I'm a big believer that to be a responsible human. You have to care for yourself first like to have a good impact on the world. You have to start with you so that you have the energy to then be altruistic and look outward. So I I do not compromise when it comes to being active. I try as many days of the week as I can I try to do something active like you say, I did cross country in high school, I did swim team in high school. So I'm still, like, take advantage of both of those habits at all. I'll go on run. Sometimes there's a community pool near near me that I'll swim at. Sometimes, recently, I've gotten into bouldering. So in that way, specifically bouldering let's say

Nicoa Coach: 31:04

that like rock climbing, climbing, okay.

ARTHUR LARIN: 31:11

He's definitely sport miniatures. But bouldering is just like short walls without a hardest. So you

Nicoa Coach: 31:18

could do that, okay. You just educated me I literally had never heard of. So, you know, you talk about, you know, for your own mental well being right. I mean, you got to, you got to put that oxygen mask on you first. And, and I'm glad you're 23 Because I want anybody listening. That's 23. To know, and those of you who are 53 and are not remembering this is that you know, your health and well being you got to start out like you want to finish. You have to start out like you want to finish so yeah, if you aren't fantasize about running in the yard with great grandchildren at some point, then you better start running in the yard today. So I'm proud of you for for having that habit. Right. And you you've you've brought some habits with you from your, from your high school years. How what advice well know before even asked for that, you use a phrase though, in your description of your business model, which it sounds like you really love taking design projects from ideation all the way to the actual tangible to me, I saw some of your work and but you use this phrase, authentic embodiment? Can you tell us a little bit more about what you mean by that?

ARTHUR LARIN: 32:38

Yeah, that's, that's definitely a piece of marketing for my business. But it's, it's really what I want to do for people for my clients is design. I guess it starts with getting to know the, the core of, of my client, so if it's like an owner, founder, who has a big hand in, in the operations of their business, whether it is just them or a bigger team. It's getting to know them, getting to know the the soul that they are trying to breathe into their company. And then articulating it presenting it as, as visual as as as their brand design.

Nicoa Coach: 33:33

How does that show up in the way you authentically embody your life by design for you? What does that look like?

ARTHUR LARIN: 33:44

Yeah, I think it's being unapologetic about who I am. It's about saying how I feel to my friends and my family.

Nicoa Coach: 34:02

Yeah, you know, that's, I love both of those things. I talk about unapologetic joy. And I just dropped an espresso shot this week about it's okay to be happy. It's okay to be okay. Right. So we always we talk about, you know, not to in any way discount mental health, that it's okay to not be okay. Absolutely. Yeah, go get that help. But it's also okay to be okay. It's okay to be happy, and giddy, and joy filled. And this piece about truth telling. Wow. I do it all the time. And sometimes it's not what society wants me

ARTHUR LARIN: 34:39

to do. Yeah. And it's not always easy, either. It's not.

Nicoa Coach: 34:44

And I'm really good now at being responsive to questions that my my gut an intuitive answer is no, I'm really good at actually, I don't necessarily, I'm kind, you know, because I don't want to be like, No, you can't do that, or no, I'm not doing that for you. But I might be like, you know, here's what my vision was here. And I don't think going down that path is going to support that. Yeah, it's the same thing as now, but it's a little bit more authentic, trying to share my emotion about something. Yeah.

ARTHUR LARIN: 35:15

Yeah. Super important. And it's something I struggle with. Definitely I have a yes person. And it's an ongoing journey.

Nicoa Coach: 35:26

Tell us about I know that you're really proud of, even if it's just a simple one out I like this question. I just made it up.

Unknown: 35:35

It's a good question.

ARTHUR LARIN: 35:39

The first thing that comes to mind is, I am working on my my debut single as a singer songwriter. And I collaborated with a producer. And especially in a situation like that, where this producer has has is a more talented musician than I am. They are obviously a more experienced and a more seasoned producer, because that's what they do. And that's what I hired them to do. So having the confidence to say, You know what, I disagree with you here, I actually think that this should be that way. It took a little bit of, of mustering up and I was proud of myself when I did, but I have to remember that, you know, the project is was ultimately, my brother, the seed of the project, at least was was my creation that I had a vision that that I'm trying to see through. So that was definitely a good practice for productive argument.

Nicoa Coach: 36:54

Yes. Productive truth telling there. Yes. Yeah. For for productive influencing, you know, I think the mustering up, you know, that is a big part of the challenge. And sometimes people go to a space of, well, I must not know any better, because they're more experienced. So I should defer. You know, and it is a tricky space to be in, especially in the workplace if you haven't been there as long as the other person, but it sounds like you really do listen to your intuition.

Jennifer Gardner: 37:27

We hope you're enjoying listening to this episode of Coffee with Nicola. Make sure to subscribe so that you never miss an episode and follow Coffee with Nicoa on Instagram to find inspiring content that will help you begin creating your life by design.

Nicoa Coach: 37:41

Tell us a little bit about more about your songwriting and your music. And are you performing right now? What would you like to share?

ARTHUR LARIN: 37:50

Yeah, I'm performing actually, the recent achievement is that the weekend before last, I played a show and it was my first time having a band accompany me for my own original songs. That was super fun and fulfilling.

Nicoa Coach: 38:07

Yet busking? How's that busking? In New York, you do that a lot.

ARTHUR LARIN: 38:12

I wish I've done more busking that I have I need to get out there more, but it's super fun. It's always surprisingly lucrative. You find a spot where the tourists are? are in high traffic. Yeah, it's busking is actually, the the moment you begin, it's terrifying. Because all of a sudden, you're taking over a space. You're saying all right, you know, like, from here, on out to 40 foot diameter, you're going to hear my voice and my guitar. And if you don't like it, then you have to leave that circle. Yeah, that part is scary. But once you get going there, it's it's the majority of the people in the space typically enjoy it and and are grateful for it and engage with you. And yeah, it's been super fun.

Nicoa Coach: 39:05

I that I bet. Well, I did listen to some of your Instagram posts and tell us what your Instagram is. Is it just your name? I

ARTHUR LARIN: 39:13

can't remember. Yeah, just my name Arthur Lehren. Okay, so

Nicoa Coach: 39:17

at Arthur Lehren on Instagram. So I was listening. And I don't know if you've ever heard of this. Singer, but you reminded me of a singer that I chose a song from for my second wedding. I got married three years ago. Are you familiar with Matt? Hartke? No, no. Oh, go listen to Matt Hartke H AR T Ke. And when you were singing your most recent Instagram post, I thought, oh, that just makes me the energy of your voice. The dynamic is quite sweet. And like Matt Hartke Yeah, good. Well, so the song we chose for our wedding was signed me up. It was our song that we anyway, so what what are some of your next steps for the music? You're still working with the producer you're hoping to? You are planning to launch in 2024? Is there anything else on the horizon for you around with your music?

ARTHUR LARIN: 40:24

Well, so the the single that we've been working on will be out sooner. alone. So the first song is called passing trucks. And that will be released sometime in. It's looking like January now just working on the album artwork for it this morning. So that'll be fun.

Nicoa Coach: 40:44

Yeah, I bet the artwork is fun.

ARTHUR LARIN: 40:47

It's fun. Yeah, yeah. Now will people be

Nicoa Coach: 40:50

able to hear you on like, anywhere when you release the single? What do you do? You put it on Spotify and all that?

ARTHUR LARIN: 40:55

Yep. Yeah, I go through distribution service. And that automatically puts it on Apple Music, Spotify, YouTube, everything.

Nicoa Coach: 41:02

Okay, awesome. That's exciting. And then your, are you going to continue to work with this backup band to go do future gigs?

ARTHUR LARIN: 41:10

I hope to Yeah, we don't have anything planned. But it was really fun and really educational for me as well. And any opportunity to collaborate with another artist? Really? Any creative work is a super enlightening and fulfilling.

Nicoa Coach: 41:32

Find them? How did you connect with people? Do you reach out? Do you muster up the courage?

ARTHUR LARIN: 41:38

Yeah, definitely. One of the people is a friend of a friend, actually somebody I met whom I met through my roommate here in New York. And then another one is a friend that goes back a few years

Nicoa Coach: 41:54

to high school works. That's how it works. Yeah, it's who do you know, and somebody knows somebody that knows somebody every time. So anybody listening? That is like, I want to release a single, you know, our family, friend's kid, he's, he's, like, 20, all of a sudden, there was this album that he self produced in the basement, and he put it out on Spotify, and his entire family did not even know about it. Yeah, that's so awesome. What I mean, anything is possible.

ARTHUR LARIN: 42:26

That's it? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Honestly, there's so much you can get done. Just just with a laptop. And the software that's out today, and the YouTube tutorials are a huge part of it, too. Yeah, but I also encourage people, if they don't typically to go out of their comfort zone, find people to collaborate with, you probably won't hit the mark with the first person you find. And it might not feel as good and as organic as, as you'd hoped. But I think collaborating creatively, it's just a good practice to

Nicoa Coach: 43:05

when you're on this journey now, I mean, do you feel like do you judge yourself as this is success? Now? This is what this feels right where I am? Or is there? Do you put a lot of pressure on yourself still to hurry it up? And I'm asking this question in the context of generational differences again, you know, are you having Are you really relaxed into your journey? Or do you wake up anxious about oh, my god, I gotta get there.

ARTHUR LARIN: 43:34

Because they're gonna question. It's, I am proud of how, how often it is able to be the former, that you know, waking up and being relaxed about things, but it's definitely both. Yeah. But I will say to the dad has, that's been key in designing my own life is, is telling us okay, there's no point in chasing anything. There's no point in having. I mean, I think a goal can motivate you, obviously. But if it's what you're thinking about 24/7, you're not going to be happy. And yeah, just trying to, to live a life where you can ask yourself every day, am I happy right now, in this journey? Not not, you know, not am I going to be happy when I achieved this thing, but through the process? Am I happy? And you know, maybe if I never even achieved this thing. Can I be happy? That yeah, those are the more important questions.

Nicoa Coach: 44:50

It really is the more important questions. And we were not asked those questions in my generation that often we were asking, you know, where are you going to college? And then what are you gonna do? And I remember thinking, I don't know, and I woke up a long time after 23 questioning the fact that I'd never questioned anything. Yeah, but I didn't know what I didn't know. Right. You know, I would like to ask you as a Gen Z are and as my daughter pipis friend. What do you guys wish we understood? I mean, it's hard for my own kids to see The past the way I've raised them, and they know why I am the way I am. I mean, my God, they're married, that my husband also knows why I'm the way I am. But they they all have to live with a coach. And I'm constantly coaching to actually heal and open my own mind. I mean, all my clients just happen to be the the bonus, you are a bonus to me healing. I kind of feel like that's my creative channel. It's really amazing. So when I, I see her and I thought, well, I probably couldn't ask, Pippa could I could ask you, what do you wish we understood about where your generation is right now? And how can we better serve you?

ARTHUR LARIN: 46:14

Interesting? Well, first of all, I don't think that, you know, you being Gen. Gen Xers, boomers, I don't think everyone's doing a bad job. Okay. Yeah, but we feel unsupported by, by everyone in older generations, obviously. But I do think that, you know, it helps to feel trusted. Obviously, we are the ones who will be around for longer from this point, we are the ones who kind of have a bigger responsibility and a stronger role in designing the future. And it probably happens with every generation where the, the youth sees the problems that are unsustainable, and that are that are going to make things difficult for the rest of their lives. And maybe they are just more prone to putting the thought energy into, into those things into to kind of strategizing about how how to get out of it. So I don't really know how to answer your question.

Nicoa Coach: 47:37

And it's more of us just for something, you know, for us to reflect on and think about, yes. As we try to leverage each other on this path of happiness on the planet, you know, I mean, it just, it boils down to what are your life assumptions? Right? And, you know, I think everybody's, everybody's doing exactly what they're supposed to be doing, even when it's not healthy, right? Because you're on your own journey, your own experience. And maybe an question to ask you now is what are you I mean, you were raised to be optimistic and hopeful and not bitter and resentful. And that's something I hope people listening can either foster embodying inside of their own Outlook, you know, and their own way of being, but also encouraging these types of dialogues with the younger generation in their world. You know, I want us to ask the younger generation more questions, but I also encourage you, and your peers to ask us more questions, hold us accountable in a, in a collaborative way, so that you don't lose the knowledge transfer. Because there is knowledge to be gained. I mean, we did create you beautiful beings. So we did something, right. I mean, you were both thriving and loving your lives and doing it on your own terms. I would say, you know, my sweet pepper probably feels a little more caught in the traditional path. But she's in charge of it. So there's a very big difference. She knows what she chose to do. She didn't just do it by default. And I think if you can consciously choose to play the game within the box, you can have a lot more fun and be happy. If you're consciously making the choice. And it sounds like you, you are consciously choosing to go around the box in a unique and different way. But we could also argue that you're conforming to the unique and different way. I can Yeah. I mean, I can find your story 52 times probably just around the block in New York.

ARTHUR LARIN: 49:55

Yeah. Yeah. And there's absolutely things I regret and things that I wish I would have done differently.

Nicoa Coach: 50:02

So what are you hoping for for your future? If you were to set your vision for your life? Do you spend a lot of time in that vision? Or are you more focused in the moment?

ARTHUR LARIN: 50:17

I do not spend a lot of time in that vision. I don't have a three year or five year or a 10 year plan. It's really kind of how you want to feel Yes. Yeah.

Unknown: 50:35

Tell us I think

ARTHUR LARIN: 50:40

I, I want to feel confident. I want to feel Yeah, I think it's, it's just moving towards more of a place of comfort in my skin and forgiving myself for not being perfect. But try trusting that I'm doing everything in my power to, to be a good person to the world. And to make myself happy to do what I want to do.

Nicoa Coach: 51:21

Well, I would invite you to start with the very last thing you said. And remember that you already are perfect. You were born perfect. You just existing is perfection. You may want to adjust your experience or your way of being in order to gain more fulfillment, but you're not broken. Right. And there's nothing you have to change to be enough. Yeah, not one. Not one thing. Yeah. So just remember that? Yeah. Yeah. At the end of the day, is just an experience. Yeah. And you just chose a unique one that I'm really honored that you shared with us and that we could highlight today. And if anything I want people listening to No, it doesn't matter what you do, just do it. Get out ahead of it. Like make the plan and just do it. Because you know what, if you change your mind, you want to go back and run a you know, a set of YMCA A's and call it because you had that skill. Great, whatever. Who cares? You can't get this thing called life wrong. Yeah.

ARTHUR LARIN: 52:29

Yeah, it's so true. You can only take it a day at a time and then meet yourself where you are. Well, before

Nicoa Coach: 52:37

we wrap up, I want you to tell us how much fun you had this past few days with puking unicorns.

ARTHUR LARIN: 52:44

Oh my God, it was revolting. Everywhere.

Nicoa Coach: 52:50

People are like what? So in my stalking, I noticed that someone named at puking underscore unicorns. This lovely New Yorker was hanging out with you this past weekend. You say that your girlfriend ha So tell us more about your girlfriend and your social life and how much you're enjoying New York because there's some of us who were like, I want to live in New York to

ARTHUR LARIN: 53:11

you absolutely. If if it inspires you come to New York. You'll find your people your you'll find your your places. But yeah, puking unicorns on Instagram. He's puking underscore unicorns, if you're interested. Is my girlfriend also a very talented artist, and comedian. And yeah, we had my roommates and I hosted a holiday bash, Monday night. Of all nights. So we were partying it up. And yeah, and Olivia was there. And we've been dating for three months now. And it's kind of my first serious adult relationship, to be honest. Yeah, that's awesome.

Nicoa Coach: 53:58

Yeah, it is fun. It now your roommates? Did you know them in advance? Or did you get them just by going to New York and finding roommates?

ARTHUR LARIN: 54:05

No. Yeah. So I found Emily through a Facebook group. There's this Facebook group called NYC gypsy housing. And I'm not sure of the political correctness of the name of the group. But it works really well. I've heard other positive stories. And Emily is a they're both very in the theater world that was a friend of a friend of hers who ended up being our other roommate, Kevin. He's a playwright. She's a theater director. They're both super chill. I feel so lucky to have ended up with them. And we host parties and we hang out and

Nicoa Coach: 54:42

that's the way it's supposed to be. That's New York. That's you know, so having flashbacks to stories about the Chelsea Hotel, you know, just maybe, maybe fewer drugs. Try not to do drugs. Okay. You are living a beautiful life, my friend and I'm really honored that you shared it with me today. Is there. Yeah, anything else you want to share or any advice you'd give the Wi Fi designers out there who are who are kind of probably a little jelly and you know, jealousy you? Yeah,

ARTHUR LARIN: 55:14

I do have a piece of advice. And it is do not wait for motivation to strike when people say I don't feel motivated. I get it. Yeah, it's it's, I don't feel motivated a lot of the time but you have to pick yourself up like a marionette and just go Get the wheels in motion. And and once you start moving, you'll feel motivated. It's really the motivation does not come first, the doing comes first.

Nicoa Coach: 55:41

I think you're absolutely right. And the, the idea is worthy. I mean, whatever idea you have plate, go for it go down that path. So you've done that, and I can't wait to hear more of your music. And we will make sure and put all of your contact information in the show notes and so that people can listen, it'll be a few months before your episode airs. So I'm assuming the single will be out. So we will put that let's see, there's some pressure for you got to get it out now. So Arthur, thank you your delight. And

ARTHUR LARIN: 56:15

this is so much fun.

Nicoa Coach: 56:17

Oh, I'm so glad. And thanks for putting up with all my deeply profound questions that I come up with on the fly. I want to talk to you in a year. Let's talk again. And let's see how this is going. Okay, good.

ARTHUR LARIN: 56:28

I'm interested. All right.

Nicoa Coach: 56:30

I'll talk to you later. Thanks for being on coffee with Nicoa. Absolutely.

ARTHUR LARIN: 56:35

I'm gonna take my air pods out and change my

Nicoa Coach: 56:38

okay. Yeah, this is awesome. So everybody, I asked Arthur if he would just play us a little clip or play his single whatever we're going to use some of it in his episode and you get your guitar Arthur and we'll, we'll make this happen. I'm so excited.

ARTHUR LARIN: 56:53

Okay, yeah, I'll play a bit of a acoustic version of passing trucks which is

Nicoa Coach: 57:01

perfect the single should be out by the time you guys are listening to this and we highly recommend that you go listen to it. Tons of downloads when he lots of downloads of his his single, passing trucks, passing trucks by Arthur Lehren.

Unknown: 57:31

Is a picture dashboard to remind kids just how far they've come through the class the silent fields bowed down to trees to distract from the pain and their stiffening. Of your human humans a Sherpa as for the arguments that you're about to take Sintra. Chasing DJI? girl

Nicoa Coach: 58:28

as beautiful thank you. Thank you, Arthur. I appreciate you.

ARTHUR LARIN: 58:35

Always happy to play a little.

Nicoa Coach: 58:37

That was great. Oh my gosh. I can't wait to include it.

ARTHUR LARIN: 58:44

Thank you. Yeah.

Jennifer Gardner: 58:48

Thanks for joining us for a caffeinated conversation. Subscribe to Coffee with Nicoa for more stories from people living a life by design. You can also find inspiration on Instagram. Just follow Coffee with Nicoa and check out our website Coffee with nicoa.com and that's Nicoa N I CoA. We look forward to talking with you soon. And enjoy your coffee between now and then