S1 EP46: VERONICA PAZ OLLALA LOVE

Nicoa has the honor of hosting her former coach Veronica Paz Ollala Love, CEO of the Newfield Network coaching organization where Nicoa was certified as an ontological coach back in 2010. She and Nicoa reflect on her unique LIFE BY DESIGN by looking at her lineage, through the pain of hate and fear as a foundational driver of intentional living and the power of those experiences on her and her family's "Way of Being" in the world. Listen in for a profound reflection on learning to know oneself and recognizing how we create our worlds with our language, compassion, gratitude and overall conscious awareness of the BEAUTY IN ALL. 

Learn more here about THE NEWFIELD NETWORK! 

Please also enjoy this beautiful video about Gratitude from Veronica's father, the founder of Newfield Network, JULIO OLALLA 

Buy your copy of YOUR LIFE BY DESIGN: A Coffee With Nicoa Self-Care Coaching Journal
on Amazon today! 

Transcript

Nicoa Coach: 0:01

Grab your coffee and join me Nicoa For a caffeinated conversation about life. I'll be talking to people who have chosen to walk their own paths and just like me, are creating a life by design. I hope it will give you the inspiration you need to do exactly the same. Veronica pas, Elia love. Welcome to Coffee with Nicoa.

VERONICA PAZ OLLALA LOVE: 0:29

Oh, thank you. I'm really delighted to be here.

Nicoa Coach: 0:32

I'm really honored that you said yes, I know you have a very full and filled life. I don't like to use the word dizzy or chaotic. And, you know, I think people don't recognize that we choose to create these full lives. And I recognize that you made space for me. And I'm not surprised. So thank you.

VERONICA PAZ OLLALA LOVE: 0:53

No, you're welcome. My pleasure.

Nicoa Coach: 0:55

I'm gonna give a quick introduction to you for our listeners. I am so honored to have you you are a connection of mine from 2010. We were just talking about how I said I you have a baby girl, right? And you're like, how did you tell me? 14 should always be your baby. You are now honored to be the CEO of a lineage business with your father, the Newfield network. And that happens to be where I received my foundational coach training. And that was back in 2010. You are a holistic Ontological Coaching practitioner, you have a lot to contribute to the world. And you do so through the Newfield network as a somatic and program leader, as well as the business leader now, you guys have trained over 65,000 people across the globe, I am so honored to be a part of that organization and to have the Newfield network listed after my name. It's been profound, not only have you been doing all this work, you and your husband, Alexandre have done other programs and offerings to the world. And I love listening to your recordings, your podcast, it's just a beautiful life that you've not only created for yourself that we want to talk about today, but also for all of us, holding space for all of us. For all of these years, you were really holding space for me back in the day as my coach. And that's why I remember thinking about your beautiful daughter, because you sat on the floor in front of your laptop. And your daughter had walked through or came through for a hug on one of our sessions. And I thought it's just so lovely. You really integrated your life quite beautifully. And that was 13 years ago, 14 years ago. So today, I want you to share with us a little bit about yourself, your way of being your life by design, and then I'm going to take us wherever it takes us.

VERONICA PAZ OLLALA LOVE: 3:09

Yeah, it's funny, because as you were relaying the story of my daughter, you know, crawling or walking through. I just I was thinking to myself, that still happens. You know, I'll be in a meeting and my daughter pops in. So not much has changed on one hand.

Nicoa Coach: 3:26

It's finally integrated. Your life is fully. I love that so much, right?

VERONICA PAZ OLLALA LOVE: 3:31

Yeah, yeah, gosh. Well, yeah, where would you like me to begin? Because there's so many possibilities here. What would be of interest?

Nicoa Coach: 3:41

Well, why don't we start with your take on this phrase that I have incorporated into my coaching work ever since I got certified through the Newfield network, which is the phrase, life by design? What is that what comes up for you, when you hear that phrase? What do you think we're trying to dig into there?

VERONICA PAZ OLLALA LOVE: 4:03

Yeah, well, design is a really fascinating word. When we look at the etymology of the word design, D, you know is out and the design part is to to mark or to point out and so what I thought was really beautiful as a when we look at the history, you know, the French and Italian background. On the one hand, there's a sense of to intend or to contrive. On the other hand, there's the aspect of actually painting and drawing and embroidery. And so there's this beautiful coming together of what is our intention, our view, right, where are we holding it from? And then what is the way of being or the action or the art and practice that we're engaging in? So the word design I just, I find so beautiful, because it really invites gets us into this fullness. So when I look at life by design, I begin to ask myself the question of who is doing the designing? Yeah. And, and, and, and what are we designing for, for the sake of what? And so I think when we look at life by design, it invites us into a very big question also around our understanding of self. And so to look at design, and and looking at, it's to take kind of this meta approach, or this kind of a meta cognitive approach, where we're looking at who's looking, right, who is doing the pointing out, and the distinguishing and the separating and the teasing apart in the planning, which I think is a very important question is how do we become aware that we are aware? Yes.

Nicoa Coach: 5:59

Yeah, you know, the ontological piece, right? It's a way of being. And I, I have fully embraced the key to any coaching work, that I would, that a client or myself might define as successful, is the element of the observer. Right? So the observer of self and asking those questions like you said, you know, who? How do I know that I know like, and why do I want that? And why do I want that? And why am I still thinking about that, and just being so inquisitive about life? My curiosity for your life, is around the fact that you were raised by Julio Alonso, and he is the founder of Newfield network, and he was our guru and doing most of the coach training for us. And as his daughter, at what point did, becoming aware of self really happened for you? Because I, you know, I got kids, I'm a coach, and they're still they haven't heard half of what I've been. I'm kind of like, are you not paying attention? Yeah, but everyone's on their own journey. So I'm curious. Was this embedded in you at from birth? Or did you begin to go wait a minute, what is that talking about? And how am I becoming the observer of meat?

VERONICA PAZ OLLALA LOVE: 7:29

Well, Catherine Qi Whoa, she's a contemporary American artist. She has this phrase that I adore, which is past is prologue. And when we look at that, we can begin to see that our our past emerges in the moment. And as we say, at Newfield that we are historical beings. And so, you know, this invitation to reflect upon my you know, my own toddlerhood and adolescence and all of this, you know, you when you sent me the invitation to, to have this conversation and to really reflect on this personal way i i did some reflecting this weekend in particular. And I, you know, was really connecting to the fact that my lineage is really a lineage of displaced people. I really I come from a lineage of exiles. My grandfather was displaced he, he escaped the civil war in the late 1930s, in Spain, and landed in in Chile. And then about 40 years later, in 1973, there was a military coup, where the military overthrew the government. And at that time, Cibola yen there was a president, elected by the people. And my father was actually a working for the government at that time. And so when the military overthrew the government, we found that my father and the whole family had to had to escape in order to survive. At that time, there was a lot of torture disappeared people. And so it was quite a intensive moment. Historically, up until then, Chela had actually been a very democratic, very stable country, amidst the other Latin America countries which were known for more turmoil. So the night so 1973 was momentous for Chilean history. And so my family then fled. I was not yet born, and arrived in Argentina, and was in Argentina for about three years. Very difficult circumstances. Because my father was a lawyer and well educated. He was overqualified and no one wanted to give him a job job. And so He was unemployed. And my mother was taking on multiple jobs simultaneously to sustain the family at that time. And we were also living in, you know, very poor circumstances with a few of the other refugees from Chile at that time. And so sharing a home with them. And then then in 1976, there was a military overthrowing the government in Argentina. And three weeks later, I was born. So I was born into chaos, I was born into a very dramatic and intense time. And when I was one and a half, my mother tells the story that she was standing at a at a bus stop waiting for the bus and waiting for to be taken somewhere. And she had my sister and myself, my sister was about five at the time. And all of a sudden, she started to hear. She just heard shots, she didn't know where they were coming from, where you know what was happening, but she immediately draped her body, over my sister and over myself. And it was at that moment that my mother determined that she was no longer willing to live in a country that was undergoing that kind of political turmoil that specially wasn't her own country. And so my mother is a very determined woman. And so she dressed us up and in the nicest clothes that we had at that time. And she took us to go and see if we could get visas. And we and she obtained them, which was a miracle at that time. And we came to the US. And so we arrived in the US with very little belongings, and we arrived with a very heavy heart. And we didn't speak the language, and we had no resources. But there was a small, cut the small diaspora of Chilean refugees in California at that time. And so we, my family was just making ends meet. So I, from a very young age, right preverbal knew in my bones and in my blood, that humans torture each other, they kill each other, there is a, you know, a high level of polarization. And that had a tremendous impact on me growing up. And also then, growing up in poverty, right, trying to make ends meet. And, and my father at that time, was in an existential crisis, you know, having it lived. And so He then met Fernando Flores, who was a Chilean engineer and politician and philosopher, and he, he became, he was connected to Berkeley, UC Berkeley at that time and studied a lot of philosophy of language, and they began to work together. And so so the work then of Newfield, and the work that we do didn't come from simply an intellectual interest or something of you know, but rather, really came from the pain of, of polarization, the pain of hate, the pain of not listening to one another, that the pain of fear of ways of being that other people didn't want want to engage in. Which I say that and I share those stories, because I think they're fundamental then in how we engage with the work that we do. Because it comes from a deep, deep sense of not wanting to repeat that kind of a history, right, and the work that it takes to look deeply into the face of darkness and see the light. Yeah. Rumi has a quote that he says, The darkness is my candle. Yes. And I love that because there's something so courageous about facing the darkness, our own struggles, our challenges, our failures, our missteps, mishaps, you know, all of that. Personal and collective and beginning to make meaning make no sense making from that chaos from the tragedy. What do we do when we're in the ashes or the belly of wail? How do we

Nicoa Coach: 15:04

continue, continue and overcome. And as you share the stories, I recall the stories that your father shared during the training. And you know, there is power in the pain. And, you know, it happens to be October 23 2023, that we're both speaking to each other, understanding that there are people going through very similar life experiences across the globe, rather dramatically, but historically, the same, in many ways, right? So when you were growing up, tell me a little bit about how you began to embody that knowing. And were you always as grounded and aware as you appear and always feel to me now, I want to help people see the the authenticity of your journey, so that they can also recognize it in themselves, and also recognize that you can continue to learn and ever expand, I think you say, there's this deepening and expansion of the experience of life, and you're continuing to grow. I know, but what was it like observing yourself when you were younger? that got you to where you are today?

VERONICA PAZ OLLALA LOVE: 16:20

Yeah. Well, I think I was a very, you know, I think growing up, I felt a lot I sensed into the emotional terrain, you know, what was showing up for humans, I saw the pain of, you know, my mother being discriminated against I, you know, I witnessed. So, in those moments, I think I very resonant with my surroundings, and what was happening and, you know, that has its pros and cons. And, and I was also some, you know, very sensitive on one hand, and also very attuned, acutely aware of, is the word I'm looking for, I was acutely aware of the injustice, and that discrimination and ways in which people treat each other that produce more pain. And I think that combination has really given rise to one. I think I also from, from this history, I think I need to preface with saying that, you know, being displaced and being exiled and moving from one place to another and in my own life when I was preverbal. But even with my lineage, that there is a strong sense of also, you know, the sense of well, then speaking, is dangerous, right? If I say my views, I can literally be killed. So to articulate to speak. I had to face that fear, in my own body of well, if I say something, and someone disagrees, what will they do to me? And it wasn't a hypothetical, what will they do to me, right? This could be literally, I could be gone. I mean, I have a an awareness that in Argentina, we our family was lucky enough to escape, but different records show different statistics, but anywhere from 15,000 to 30,000 people were killed and disappeared and tortured. And so, you know, I'm here speaking, and I'm alive. Yes. And so just coming to that basic privilege, that it couldn't be otherwise, how

Nicoa Coach: 18:40

did you not turn that knowing and awareness into a catabolic anger that may not have served you? And maybe you did? Maybe you experienced great anger and reactionary moments? I don't know, share with us, if you will?

VERONICA PAZ OLLALA LOVE: 18:59

Yeah. Well, I think I, you know, spanned the range of, of seeing it, of responding to it in different ways and working through it. You know, there is a thing of survivor's guilt, and, you know, there's all these different components of what, what can arise. And I think at moments in time, you know, I'm human, I think many of those things erupted and showed showed up for me, and as ways to continue to, to unravel and to digest all of that and to really discover you know, one of the key principles, I would say and the fundamental philosophy at Newfield is really about what is the learning right that my father often says that gifts some of the greatest gifts are not gift wrapped. Which means that they don't come in these pretty little packages with a bow right? Some of them come as has these moments of oh, I need to escape this country in order to survive but about when, when I looked into that more and more, I began to see, well, what are the gifts that have come from this nightmare? Yeah. And so that has really been, you know, this transmutation process, I think has really been a lifelong journey that I don't think results in a day or in a month or in a week. But rather, there's a perpetual spiraling back and looking into something with fresh eyes with new learning with, you know, what, what is revealed now, at this moment in life, right, I'm in my mid middle of life. So it's a very particular vantage point. And so, you know, what happens, then, as we look back? What is it that, that we really take this this morning, I was actually meditating, and I was, I was focusing actually on my mother and I was just thinking about her extraordinary strength, her strength to not only shield us with literally her own body, but just over and over again in life to, to come to a new country age 30 something and not speak the language, you know, just looking at my mom and just seeing just what a tremendous inspiration she is. And just the amount of love that, that she exudes. And it's not to say she doesn't drive me crazy at times, because my mother and of course, she does.

Nicoa Coach: 21:32

Bless their hearts. So, yeah, I think that what's beautiful here is that, and I love you, I think you're so delightful, and your, your demeanor is very calming for me. And one of the things that we learned at the new film network was about really tapping into the body, the somatic piece, and, um, as I listened to your story, and I think about not only the dynamics of the, the, you know, removing yourself from the aggression and coming to this new way of being, but also having to go through living in the US in poverty, and then trying to, you know, do the American dream, like climb out of that, which you guys clearly have? What was that, like in your body? Was it a feeling of a lack of safety for a very long time? Can you recall when you began to feel like I'm okay, and I am safe? And I have enough?

VERONICA PAZ OLLALA LOVE: 23:06

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think that, you know, life is so textured, and so nuanced. And there are so many colors and variations. And so being present to that vast variety and spectrum of experiences has, has been throughout my life. And, yeah, I think the practice of really observing, noticing what experiences arising somatically, and what is the embodiment of that and what needs to happen in order to support in order to sustain something deeper in order to contact and receive the message that there is a is a practice that I do i i definitely experienced, you know, lack of safety and all of those sensations deeply within my body. You

Nicoa Coach: 24:02

know, sample, Veronica, is there a real life moment where you recall thinking, I'll give you a personal example for myself when it comes to abundance in comparison to a sense of scarcity. And I remember once walking into a grocery store, with an empty cart, and for the first time, and I probably was in my early 30s. And I had been working and making money and everything had been fine. But for the first time, I remember standing there at that cart, and I thought to myself, I could buy anything in the store. If I wanted to. I mean, relative, right. But I mean, I could if I wanted to, even if I wanted to buy everything I could, I had access to credit I could have. And I remember thinking Wow. And my body. I had this, like release. And it was like it was the first time that I felt secure. Safe in that moment. Now, it didn't mean there weren't Moments later, I was like, Oh my God, you know, but in that moment, for some reason, I felt the abundance that was my truth that was actually in front of me and I didn't have to worry about not having enough. And there were times in my youth where we didn't have enough and there were bounced checks and there were arguments at the grocery store and there were you know a lot And I thought, Oh, I did it. And I, when I think of your world of even maybe grander intensity, perhaps it's all relative. But did you have some of those moments as you got older and maybe with your family and that you'd be comfortable sharing?

VERONICA PAZ OLLALA LOVE: 25:50

Yeah, I have similar moments, I think regularly where I really take pause and take stock of, of the abundance in my life on in multiple arenas. Concretely, as you mentioned, I'm very privileged in the fact that I have food to eat every day, I never doubt that I'm going to, you know, if I skip a meal, it's because I want to, that's out of choice, which I think is just incredible. Yeah, just that. And I am an artist, I paint, I do multimedia and oil paints, and the fact that I can pretty much purchase any art product, I want any art supply. That to me, it feels just like, I just feel totally giddy about it. It's real, you know, is a part of you that checks. Like, really, I can just like, go ahead and buy that color paint today. And, you know, and so that kind of privilege is, is daunting at times, honestly. And yeah, and just the other day, we were in a particular event, and there was they were asking for support for building of a school for organization for a group of people that that needed funds for schools for their children, and, you know, I was donating money, and I thought and I just thought, you know, I have enough money to donate. That's amazing. And, and I think, coming into that, that realization, and it can change, right? Like, who knows life life happens, life goes on. And and for me, you know, that that question of, well, what do we do with that privilege? What do we do with that abundance? And that's where I go to, you know, life by design. For me, it's, it's that we are living in a in a metro crisis. And my sense is that a lot of, of, you know, environmental, political, you know, all these different dimensions of the crisis were were met a crisis we're experiencing and, and so for me, you know, the heart of what we, for me, the heart of what we need to look at really is the sense of our own awareness and our own witnessing, and where are we placing our attention? If we're looking at design, what are we pointing out? You know, are we pointing out in each other? One of my favorite quotes is by Oscar Wilde. And, to me, it's, I think of it so regularly. Because he just, well, I'll read it, I'll read it to you, he says, to look at a thing is very different from seeing a thing. No one does not see anything until one sees its beauty. Then, and only then does it come into existence. And so when we're talking about this somatic experience of abundance, or awareness of we have our meal for the day, or we have enough to pay rent, and, and then some, you know, this orientation to what is beautiful, for me is such a guiding force in my life, to be able to, to see the beauty in the story that you shared about what happens to us when we have a moment of seeing and experiencing something radically different than how we had in the past. Yeah, what happens when we listen to each other? From a place of deep beauty? Yes. And that kind of compassion, that kind of bringing forth something right we we have words that generate worlds and so our languaging right, uh, how we articulate life in our inner dialogue, as much as in relation with another human, but that we can co design I in CO create co invent, right we can we can co envision something that that what, what has happened and, you know, in terms of harming others and how much how much awareness can we bring to our own responsibility in generating new ways of living life. And that, to me is so central in terms of my own life and what Newfield does of really examining not through blame, right, not through pointing a finger, but really beginning to examine these invisible forces, or these unconscious or unseen aspects that shape us in ways that we don't even know that we're shaped. But as we begin to unveil them, as that begins to come to the surface, we suddenly have the capacity to then proactively with agency and awareness, begin to intentionally shape right transformation is we're changing the shape of something. Yes. So whether that's shifting our bodies to to what is the stance of abundance, right, what is that inner experience of abundance? And I can access through the shaping of my own physicality? And then what is that orientation in terms of my speaking, my dialoguing? And how, how do we be with that authentically, not as an external imposition of I should do X, but rather is an exploration of learning about life itself?

Nicoa Coach: 32:21

And what's possible, I mean, you're describing the the bell model of body emotion and language, right. And, and, you know, I've been saying lately, to help people get there, maybe quicker, you know, I've tried to find ways to create more of a lay person's experience of this knowing you know, and to lighten it in a way for some people because they're, they don't know what's possible. So I invite them to use their words as a wand. Right? As they are creating that reality. They're, they're making wishes, they are spelling with their words, they're casting spells. I talk about the observer, being my fun, Tipsy BFF, who's always there to cheer me on no matter what behavior what emotion, what position, I find myself in, you know, she's like, Oh, we're gonna yell at that. Okay, let me get a little more wine. I'm just gonna watch you do that today. Nicoa. Love you, you know, you're having an experience. So I share these because I'm, I really want people to recognize that once you begin to explore your way of being anything is possible. And I think that's what you're offering, is that the possibilities to find the compassion, and show up in a way that's differently in the way we listen and see each other? But let me ask you, What is your thought on value in all? I mean, it's not necessarily, at least from my view, the perspective here is not to embody compassion. So we never see the opposite. But I don't know. Do you believe there is value in all of these experiences?

VERONICA PAZ OLLALA LOVE: 34:14

That's a beautifully big question. I think that perspective taking is something that needs to be learned actively, by ideally, all humans.

Nicoa Coach: 34:30

Conscious awareness and shifting of meaning, right, our ability to see and choose

VERONICA PAZ OLLALA LOVE: 34:36

even to, yeah, even to, to recognize that we always have a limited perspective, right? No matter who we are, no matter what we're doing. We always have a slice, we have a vantage point, right? If right now I'm facing the camera means I'm not facing behind me, I don't see behind me, I'm seeing you, but behind me still exists, and to the sides of me still exist. And so my sense is that very often, if I'm looking forward and someone else say is looking to you know what I would call back it can seem like, Well, what we're seeing is polar opposite. And yet, you know, there's truth in in all perspective, right. And it's not to say that simply anything goes and we're just collapse into the flatland of relativism. No. I think that there are valid Use and I think that, you know, compassion is important. And I think that, you know, acting from a place of hate in my experience is not okay. So I'm not saying anything goes, right. But what I am saying is that every human has a history has experience has their aspects that no one else has. And if we listen deeply enough, right, there is a way in which we can learn from that perspective, and expand our own perspective. And so that's what happens in conversation. So conversation means changing together, turning towards each other. So if I hold you, right, as legitimate, and, and dignified, and I listened to you from that space, I will, without a doubt, learn something from you that I would have never learned from anyone else. And so when we begin to listen to each other from that place, it begins to enable bridges, places of connection places where we see things, places where there's suddenly resonance and a learning and this expands who we are. And so when we can, you know, a dear friend of mine often says we were never taught in kindergarten, first grade, second grade, fifth grade, any grades, how to have a conversation, we were never taught how to listen. So there's these basic human capacities and skills that were not given to us, not because someone's bad or evil, but because it, it hasn't been part of our curriculum for most of us, right? Sure, there may be exceptions. And so then, Newfield, part of what we do in our training is begin to cultivate these capacities for these basic skill sets that enable us then to create radically different kinds of relationships with people. Going back to what you were saying, suddenly, something is possible, that wasn't possible before.

Nicoa Coach: 37:49

You know, I think that everything that I learned at the new field network really ultimately started with my, with all of this dialogue, but with myself. And that is the foundation course, right? And, you know, people can hear you and I talking about what's possible, and how to be compassionate. And at the end of the day, they really need to look in the mirror, and have these conversations with themselves, get to know who they are, why they are, notice what history has created their identities. And then begin I love the life domain exercise I use, which is you take a particular category of your life and you say, you know, money is fill in the blank, or education is fill in the blank family is fill in the blank, and then you make this long list. And then you notice how it feels to have those beliefs around those categories of your life. And then you say, wait a minute, that serving me that belief that money is the root of all evil? Or that education is required to be worthy. Wait, what if I don't want to go to college? What if I want to have a street education? You know, what if I want money to be freedom instead of the root of evil? So all of this became much clearer to me that I had been with lack, you know, lack of a better word. I had allowed myself to just accept input as truth. And that life by design back then I believe me. I've been living a life by design since the very beginning. This has never not been who I was. But I never questioned the life I was designing for the first 40 years. I just kept doing it. i Oh, you told me that. Oh, that. Oh, all right. Okay. So once you begin and you guys, oh my God, it was such a different person with you. And with your dad and with the 40 people that were in that class with me. You and I had a coaching session. Do you remember our coaching at all? And it's okay, if you don't I'm just curious if you

VERONICA PAZ OLLALA LOVE: 40:11

remember some of our sessions. Yeah. You may recall the one session.

Nicoa Coach: 40:15

I was in my office and I had a laptop you had a laptop. You were sitting on the floor and you said to me Nicoa You said lie down on the floor. And you had me put my laptop next to my face. If you could see me, and I think all I did was cry, I just lay on the floor in my body and let it out the years of restraint to fit into the box and the mold that I was working very hard and diligently to create, to design. And you gave me permission to let that go. And if you were going to invite people into the new field net work work, how would you describe their injury that, you know, clearly my experience with you was a year plus out probably from the training, so it takes time, everybody, it takes time, but how would you share with them what that foundational work looks like for that self work?

VERONICA PAZ OLLALA LOVE: 41:26

Yeah. Yeah, thank you for for speaking into that experience. I I think one of the elements that distinguishes Newfield I think, from many, you know, coach training programs is that we really do abide by the sense that there is a and necessity for one to examine one's own self. So it's not just a cognitive rational, Oh, I understand something intellectually. But there is a emotional exploration, there is a body exploration, there's this, you know, we have so many dimensions of art of being who we are, and to give ourselves the opportunity to pause and reflect on that and understand as you said, what are what are all of those forces that have shaped who I am my way of becoming? And so in today's world, it's so fast paced, it's, it's insanely fast. And, you know, people, how are you busy? What are you doing busy, right? It's so busy. It's disorienting and daunting, the pace that we we move at. And so part of why I think coaching and the new film program is so essential, is because one, it offers us a pause. So that we can actually connect with our own depth, because what happens is that when we're running million miles an hour, everything has to be bite size, superficial, quick, instant, right. And in that instant newness and that quickness, the way I often talk about is like a tree that has no roots, if the wind blows, it will be knocked down. And so what I sense is that people are being knocked down, and then we're also isolated. Right? We're living in this time of tremendous isolation. So when we get knocked down, we often blame ourselves, we think it's our fault, we don't really have a person to really speak to about the fact that we've been knocked down. And then life keeps going, and then and so. So the program offers us a time to pause and actually connect with our own depth. So that we can explore our inner strength, our inner courage, so many of the virtues that are inherent in our way of being and that when we have time to connect with them, suddenly, life becomes very different. And so in the first part of the program, there is this emphasis on this pausing this reflection, and also recognizing that we're in community, and there is an invitation for that collective wisdom, to catapult us in ways that we could not do on our own. we're social creatures. Yeah. And as we were talking about before, each person has so much wisdom, so much experience, regardless of what has happened to you in life. And so, as we come together, and listen to each other, suddenly, I'm able to weave in the wisdom of the 5040. However, many folks are with me in a space in a conversation. That is not like our ordinary everyday conversations,

Nicoa Coach: 45:03

right? That was very unique. It was awkward. It was surprising. It was upsetting. It was enlightening and liberating. And even just this week, I was teaching my new client, the different body positions, you know, resolution and openness and grant you know, and it's being steadfast and flexible and and I remember those scenes. And so when if anyone is interested in an AI, I'm biased. Veronica's biased, we love this program so much, because it has created a sense of pause access to that pause, it, everything is already within us. We already have it. But we now are consciously capable or consciously practicing intentionally to access that pause. If that's the only thing that people gain from the training, is that they now can pause and be at choice.

VERONICA PAZ OLLALA LOVE: 46:14

Yeah, and to be in a group that is so deeply sincere and genuine. To be in a group where, you know, it's, it's funny, but you begin technically as strangers most people don't know each other. And then within two or three days, the bonds that are formed. last for so long, I've heard time and time again, from our grads, we have an amazing graduate community. I mean, amazing. We have free once a month calls like grads get together, we have quarterly meetups. But what happens is I've had so many grads come back to me and say to know that I still meet with my cohort 15 years later, 20 years later, do you know that my best friends, you know, are this group of five of us like cats? And this is what happens because the experience is so beautiful and rich, and I mean, beautiful with you know, the good, the bad, the ugly, right, the whole Caboodle and it's but there's something about going through a Learning Adventure that truly shifts people often say there is a before Newfield in an afternoon, right. And there's often this sense of what I hear people report is more gratitude for life. Yeah, and a deepening and strengthening of their relations, yes, and much more efficiency, effectiveness, much more capacity to be in the world in a way that that makes sense for them, that the value. And so for me to witness and be part of, you know, I get the biggest privilege I get to learn from every cohort. And honestly, there is something that happens. We've you know, this organization has been around for about 33 years, we are the first organization to be accredited by the International Coach Federation. And so we've had the the honor of really being able to deepen the work, it's like there's a distinction or a model. But when you when you experience that mandala, that distinction in many countries, over many years, in many situations, is amplified very differently than if you just heard it once. Or you're kind of trying to get it right. But when it's steeped, it's like good wine, you know, it's like the longer than it has time to really ripen. And so I feel like our community has matured and has evolved with time in this very gorgeous way.

Nicoa Coach: 49:04

I definitely believe it fosters that compassion piece, because all of a sudden, you look around and you're listening to the stories of your cohort and you realizing either one, they're just like me, or I'm not alone, or, wow, that's a hell of a lot worse than what I'm going through. I mean, there's just a lot, right. So you're just getting exposed to humanity in this collective that your busy life may not be allowing you to observe. And so I want to remind people to that you don't have to want to be a coach to go through the foundation program. I invite people to participate. Oh, of course, I wish everyone in my entire life had gone. And I'm sending people all the time. But I also I want people to step back and ask themselves, you know, what do they want? What do they want to experience? And if you're suffering over the state of the world, or you're suffering over your own immediate relations or dynamic and you don't know how to answer that question, this program and what you guys are offering can certainly help you can help you answer those questions. You know, obviously, as I always say to all my guests, we could talk all day. And by the way, you're the third person from minute Build network connections I've interviewed and we just dropped our 75th episode today. So I actually there's a couple other people that I interviewed. Then Fanning and Reiner loam are both from my time back in 2010. I want to ask you as we wrap up, what is intriguing you right now Veronica intriguing you about, you know, life. Like, because I as you say, you're continuing to learn and expand from every year of this this way of being with Newfield. Where are you intrigued about right now?

VERONICA PAZ OLLALA LOVE: 51:11

Yeah. Oh, so many things come to mind and bubble up. One, one aspect I will say that's actually quite impactful for me is that my my husband, Alexander love, who is an acupuncturist by training, he is also a coach, he is getting more and more involved in terms of facilitation with the program. And with that there's just been such a beautiful refreshing of the curriculum. And that's something that happens that, yes, we've been here for 33 years, and every year there's something new that blossoms there's something new that comes to fruition. And I think that's the same for us human folks, right? There's that we are a constant unfolding that yes, we are historical beings. But we're also beings that are in the moment where novelty can arise and something new and fresh can emerge. And so there's been something quite profound about partnering with my husband in this new way, and bringing in all of his wisdom, into the program that I'm actually really thrilled about. And also, for me, I think, you know, being in contact with aliveness, with the richness of life has been, has been really extraordinary in terms of just I've been I, as I mentioned before, I'm an artist, and I paint, and I'm perpetually taking new, you know, studying and taking courses and painting with oils. And, and for me, that has a lot to do with noticing how I notice, right? Observing how I observe and really practicing. So that's one of my practices, I've also been asked to do a lot of dancing, and my husband, I are doing tango, I also do have been doing hip hop, also sorts of other things. Because there's something so joyous about celebrating life and moving and you know, having that in a collective space. And so I find that there's really this, this capacity for joy and for passion and for, like, just being with life in that in that way that very much opens my heart to then being with other humans. And, and being in the presence of other humans, I'm always so deeply moved. When I'm really with another human, I'm often so in such deep admiration, for their courage, as I you know, as I have the honor of listening to so many people and across different countries, you know, Europe and Canada and Latin America and the US and having that international conversation in a sacred conversation. And by sacred I mean it's, it's held in reverence. Yes. And so that kind of cross cultural exchange is so enriching. And I think that's something that is so desperately needed in our times. How do we see each other? As we as we engage at that level? So there's, there's a lot,

Nicoa Coach: 54:46

there's a lot and I, I'm with you on the there's so many things you said, I'm with you on the aliveness? You said it earlier when you get giddy. I mean, I live like that I am often in a state where I can't contain it. And sometimes that's difficult for other humans around me when I get so excited about life and they might not be seeing life in the same way that I see life. And I have to be aware of that. And I try to hold space for them. But I also am in I'm playing with unapologetic joy, where historically, you might hold back. And I think that we need people to be unapologetically giddy and happy and live. Thinking and moving and dancing and painting. And it's okay to be in that space of joy and aliveness, even when someone else is suffering. Because I think about the sufferer, to your point, the courage of the sufferer and where they have to survive from moment to moment. And yet, if you will, really to connect with the sufferer, in that moment, they don't want the other people to join them in their suffering, they don't want their suffering, they don't want you to also suffer. Some people may be filtered in a way that they they think they do. But ultimately, I think their true human says, Oh my God, this sucks. This hurts this painful. Of course, I don't wish this for you. Right? So we need the people that aren't sitting in the suffering all the time. And I see that connected piece where it doesn't mean I can't hold space for the suffering and have compassion for the suffering. But ultimately, I think we can raise the vibration with the giddiness and the happiness and the joy. And only we know where that feels appropriate for us. And what aligns with

VERONICA PAZ OLLALA LOVE: 56:40

when my sense is that, you know, each moment brings different things in life. And so to be able to have that full spectrum, right that the moments where we are in the darkness, or the shadow or the suffering, that that, that also sheds light on our joy. And so, you know, we need to have moments of sadness in order to exalt our joy. And we need to have moment if so, there's that richness of emotional life, where we can actually begin to have emotional agility, emotional literacy, and the capacity to, to be with and welcome the full range of human emotion and experience. So that we see all that ways, the ways in which our emotions relate to each other. And to to allow for authentic joy. That rate is different than simply excitement. That authentic joy is also in my estimation, in my experience, a profound appreciation for all the hues and all the tones, that life gives us the opportunity to experience.

Nicoa Coach: 58:02

Back to gratitude, you know, yeah, yeah, back to gratitude and aliveness again, you know, you're you're talking Dan newbees, work and Lucy, right. They have done all of this work around emotions, and most people don't even know the extent of their emotional, we'll write their emotional access. Some people don't even know how to describe their feelings. So that's another big piece of what Newfield offers is this, this new awareness and describing the emotion that you are feeling, and I'll never forget, lying in the bed crying, I'm sure I've told this story before. After my my divorce, and I was watching this is us the TV show. Such a great show. And I was just bawling and crying and grieving the story, the previous story that I had been writing. And I knew that story was not going to end it was it was like Choose Your Own Adventure who knew what the next piece was going to be. But simultaneously, I could observe myself and I was filled with still joy. And I remember hearing a voice that said, Wow, look how sad you are, look how much grieving you're having. And you're still excited. You're still looking forward. And I think I would never have had that access. If I had not gone through the work and the program that you offered that you offer. So thank you and thank you for being my coach. Thank you for spending time with me today. I could talk with you forever. When I first learned of Newfield network, I sat across from someone who had been through the program, and I was all jacked up. And I was like trying to fix my life. And she sat quietly and drank her tea and ate her lunch. And I remember saying to her, I don't know what you did, but I want what you're having. Like I want I want to know how to find that grounded version of me. And she said then you need to go to the Newfield network. And I'm just so grateful that I did and and I'm glad to showcase this for everyone. And I'll put all the information. Is there anything else you want to share anything you'd like? to say or any questions you have for me, as the CEO of Newfield

VERONICA PAZ OLLALA LOVE: 1:00:37

it has been such a treasure to be with you. Yeah, I am so grateful for the invitation, the opportunity. And it's it always warms my heart to hear of the impact that Newfield has had, you know, listening to you. It's been 13 years since you've gone through the program. And this still has those ripple effects. And I find that that's what makes me I think, most joyous was to see that the impact is not just for a week or a day, it's so sustaining. It really is a sustained change that I think so many people yearn for. And so guess the invitation is to join us, we can all learn from each other and deepen who we are and strengthen who we are and CO create. I think it co create and CO design a much more beautiful world. And and as you know, referencing Charles Eisenstein and his work in this beautiful world that our heart knows is possible.

Nicoa Coach: 1:01:40

Absolutely. And each of us, I think is being pulled and called to create that life by design that in that really enhances that and deepens that possibility. So thank you, my friend. I love you.

VERONICA PAZ OLLALA LOVE: 1:01:56

Love you too.

Nicoa Coach: 1:01:57

And I will speak to you again soon.

Jennifer Gardner: 1:02:03

Thanks for joining us for a caffeinated conversation. Subscribe to Coffee with Nicoa for more stories from people living a life by design. You can also find inspiration on Instagram. Just follow Coffee with Nicoa and check out our website Coffee with nicoa.com and that's Nicoa N IC O A. We look forward to talking with you soon. And enjoy your coffee between now and then