COFFEE WITH NICOA: Creating A LIFE BY DESIGN.

S1 EP 44: BILLY SAMOA SALEEBEY

December 13, 2023 NICOA DUNNE CORNELIUS Season 1 Episode 44
COFFEE WITH NICOA: Creating A LIFE BY DESIGN.
S1 EP 44: BILLY SAMOA SALEEBEY
COFFEE WITH NICOA: Creating A LIFE BY DESIGN. +
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Show Notes Transcript

Nicoa really enjoyed this cool conversation with a cool guy - Billy Samoa Saleebey who has led learning and development organizations for some of the most disruptive companies in the world, including Tesla, where he was Head of Global Sales & Product Training. He is the CEO and Co-Founder of Podify, a podcast production and marketing company. He’s also the host of the podcast Insight Out, where he sits down with the planet’s most remarkable business leaders to uncover what transformational insights have driven their success. LISTEN NOW for more about how his LIFE BY DESIGN emerged and what it feels like to be Billy!


Find out more about Billy's Company:

https://podify.com/

Listen to his Podcast:

https://insightoutshow.com/

Connect with Billy on Social Media:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/billysamoa/

https://www.instagram.com/billysamoa/

https://www.youtube.com/user/billysamoa

https://twitter.com/BillySamoa

OH YEAH, and THE MOVIE: Rolling go check it out!

Buy your copy of YOUR LIFE BY DESIGN: A Coffee With Nicoa Self-Care Coaching Journal
on Amazon today! 

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Follow COFFEE WITH NICOA on Instagram @CoffeeWithNicoa for archived episodes & to see more of Nicoa's Life By Design! And now on TikTok @NicoaCoach


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Nicoa Coach:

Grab your coffee and join me Nicoa For a caffeinated conversation about life. I'll be talking to people who have chosen to walk their own paths and just like me, are creating a life by design. I hope it will give you the inspiration you need to do exactly the same. So yes, welcome. Welcome Billy samosa Levy, what a cool name. Actually, I love your name.

Billy Samoa:

Thank you. I appreciate it. I'm glad to be here. This is fun. Yeah,

Nicoa Coach:

I appreciate you being here. And Mr. Potter, fine. I'm gonna give you a little overview. So everybody knows why we're talking today and how your unique background clearly is now in its life by design stage more than ever. So here's a little overview of you. And then you can correct me if I miss anything. Billy, you have led learning and development organizations for some of the most disruptive companies in the world, including Tesla, where you were the head of Global sales and product training until you were not. And then you went off to become the CEO and co founder of Spotify, which is a podcast production and marketing company. And that's how we connected because I was researching who can I get some help from and you're at the top of my list. You are also the host of a podcast yourself inside out, which I stocked today and listen to a couple of your episodes. I loved it. I'm like, I was literally listening, Billy right before him because I was like, oh my god, I really want to hear about this guy's tips for getting more followers. Yeah, increasing the speed. Like he's talking like this. You know,

Billy Samoa:

I know I've been there.

Nicoa Coach:

Well, not only are you doing phenomenal things in the podcast world, but you're also a husband, a father. And I have gleaned that maybe you are also a music lover. Because I've seen you go into a few concerts lately. And I think you're a dog owner. Am I getting this?

Billy Samoa:

Yes, you're getting it. All right. Yeah, I own one dog. But it seems like I own a million because we take care of dogs. So yes. And I, I have been to my if somebody asked me yesterday was last country with dog and Steve Miller Band I've seen I saw Elton John and I went to sugar rose and like all these different like bands that I saw. So yeah, I love music. Music speaks to the soul.

Nicoa Coach:

And you've got some really cool posts on your Instagram. And I just really enjoyed stalking you. So I'm not going to continue to stalk you. I promise to have it however, you do have great content. So I know I want to pay attention to that. Yeah, the goal here is a little bit different than most of the interviews that you've been on over the past three years. I guess I've been watching you on YouTube as well. I want to talk about Billy. And let's just start with that name. Yeah, you know, when I think Samoa I think Samoan. I actually knew a guy in college who was a Samoan king. And he had to quit NC State football team and go back to Samoa and be the king of his village. And I just, I didn't know if that was a relation there. The Samoan history. It is,

Billy Samoa:

you know, well, first, thanks for having me. And thanks for that delightful intro. I was very honored to hear your experience and getting to know me through my content and through the stuff that I put out there. Sometimes you forget that somebody on the other end is taking it all in and your your experience of me through the virtual means is pretty cool to hear. So I was born in American Samoa, it's as simple as that my parents were hippies in the 70s. My dad was teaching he was doing his dissertation and on educational psychology for his PhD and one thing led to another just so happened to coincide with me being born while they were there. And now hippie parents named me after the place I was born. So that's what happened.

Nicoa Coach:

Oh, that's so cool. Well, what's it like in America, Samoa and Samoa? I've never been there. So and by the way, I'm right there with you. You've been to 42 different countries. I've been to 32 I'm 10 behind you. I was like, Ooh, got it. We got to compare notes. So have you been back since you were born there? And

Billy Samoa:

I have Yeah. So I left there when I was six months old. So of course, I don't remember anything from that experiences, photos. But I went back when I was about 12. And what a beautiful, just gorgeous place. I mean, think of just the beauty of places like Hawaii right where you have like the island vibe, but on a lot smaller scale. And without the tourism. Yesterday, tourists go there but it's not a tourist destination. It's just kind of too far. So it's very much still an island vibe with intact than the natural things you would think of for the people who are from they're very familial, very family oriented people, very giving people just a beauty For beautiful culture, there's so many interesting things about it. When I went there, I, you know, I was young enough to appreciate, or excuse me old enough to appreciate, but young enough to where it was. It was all new to me, right. And I just remember very distinctly, having a really nice, enjoyable experience from the time I got there to the time I left beautiful water, beautiful people, an amazing experience. So yeah, definitely a place I would suggest. In fact, I was supposed to go back in COVID. But didn't, because COVID super frustrated. Oh,

Nicoa Coach:

you gotta add it back to your list. And you got to get back there now that you're an adult. I mean, that must be such a unique connection to the world that you know, I love that you were born there. Your your parents sound really cool. What was it like being raised by hippie parents? And are you an only child? I am

Billy Samoa:

kind of an only child and that I only have half siblings. And also in that I kind of was raised without having siblings that were close in age. So I have a sister who's passed away. She was eight years older than me. And she was out of the house by the time I was, you know, I guess eight. So she was she left when she was 16. And then I have a half brother who's 15 years younger than me. So he was a baby by the time I was close to leaving to go to go to college. So you know, I had the experience of an old child, but I do have siblings. Yeah.

Nicoa Coach:

And what was life like growing up with those parents and you went off to college? Where'd you end up? I mean, gosh, sounds like they were nomads.

Billy Samoa:

Yeah, I spent most of my time in SoCal, including in college and went to Loyola Marymount and I live about a block from Loyola Marymount. Now. So, you know, one other sort of small factor is I have a stepbrother, who was a friend and that's how my parents met. Or Mike should say my stepmom and my dad met was because he was a soccer coach and he ended up you know, becoming friendly. Let's be very friendly with one of the moms and and so it was like an instant overnight. So from the time I started high school to the time I ended or even went to college, I had a stepbrother so that was the one time where I didn't have the only child thing going. It's kind of like all of a sudden I have a sibling who lives in the house with me. Let's

Nicoa Coach:

get it cool. And the fact that you're still there. I'm actually back in my hometown as well living in my home, my childhood home, which is weird. Yeah. And my older brother's eight years older than me, and he ended up running away when he was 16. So I will soul connection here.

Billy Samoa:

Yeah, totally. Well, here just to bring in another level, my mom bought the house that we live in now wasn't my childhood home, but she bought it in early 2000s started a preschool. And then when she wanted to retire, we were looking for a place to live. So we bought the house and took over the home business, which might if you're a little kiddos in the background, my wife is running to a preschool literally on the other side of this, of this background here.

Nicoa Coach:

See she was running the preschool because of course I stopped her to my kid I was like, oh, okay, there's the wife or there's the kid. Well, that's pretty neat. Yeah, the family business. I love that really integrated. It's weird, isn't it to continue to grow up and then be a part of your own youth as an adult and watching your kid grow up in this house? Right. That's,

Billy Samoa:

you know what? I never thought about it in that way. But yeah, it is. Because my little brother though, when I was 15 years younger, he he did grew up in this house. And so now you can see my son grew up in the same house, which is, it is really cool. Yeah,

Nicoa Coach:

that's pretty neat. Well, when you were so How old is your son now?

Billy Samoa:

He's 11. Oh,

Nicoa Coach:

I could not have planned this question better. Okay, Billy. So I understand that your career in video making started? Oh, it was in the 11th grade. You weren't 11? You were in the grade? That's right.

Billy Samoa:

It's still an 11. It's still an 11. Yeah,

Nicoa Coach:

it was still an 11 One of my favorite numbers. So tell me a little bit about your career in this space. And that 11th grade video that kind of kicked it all off? Yeah,

Billy Samoa:

you know, it's a great question. And how many people know this story? So my English teachers kind of she's kind of a famous English teacher and that she taught for like, 60 years, and that's not an exaggeration. she just, she ended up I mean, she was 90 and in her late 80s and still teaching amazing woman, amazing woman, just just such a powerhouse. She was about four foot 10 four foot 11 tiniest thing you could ever imagine. But boy, she was a pistol she would. She would whip you into shape. Like if you didn't if you came unprepared. You hadn't read your book. You hadn't read the chapter. It was like an AP English class. And so it was a very hard class very rigorous. But one of the things she did was really interesting, she did a project where you got to do a video that encapsulates some of the stories that we've read. So Pygmalion or like any of the any of the Waiting for Godot and like all these like classics, right. And so we made a video me and some of my classmates made a video and I really just gave me a flavor of what it's like to create something in the visual space. And when I graduated a year, plus later, I started as a business major at LMU. And I just didn't connect with basically econ, I hated it. I had my hate my didn't like my econ teacher. And I was like, you know, I don't want to be a bit. I don't wanna be a business major. So I just looked and saw what else is out there and said, Phil, so that's what I transitioned to become a film major. So I had to reapply to the film program, which is a very good program. It's gotten even better as so now, I could still claim the film. You know, this top 10 film school? Yeah, it's so the one thing letter other I got my film degree and then out of film school, it's like, Well, what I do I probably make a movie. So that's what I did. I made a movie. Well,

Nicoa Coach:

tell us about this movie. What movie did you make? Okay.

Billy Samoa:

So, my, I was a very good kid, like very good from it. Like I was like, my dad might argue with you. I had a temper. So in that sense, I was like a little bit of a troublemaker. And I was, you know, a little bit of a class clown, that sort of thing. But I didn't do drugs. I hung out with good kids. I was a good, I was a good kid. flashover college, I didn't change that much. I was a good kid in college. I really didn't partake in a lot of the activities. I drank and experimented there. But the day I graduated, college, I experimented with MDMA, I tried, the dad graduated, not the day I started the day graduate. So I tried. And I just had an amazing experience, I really was like an eye opening experiment experience, ended up doing the drug a little bit more frequently, recreationally. And so I thought to myself, if I'm going to make a movie, make a movie about something that I knew. And at the time, that was something that was in my life. So I made that ecstasy. So it's called. It's called rolling, and it won awards, it was taken, we took it to 10 film festivals, all over the world, we were on four continents, and got picked up by Netflix and Amazon and all the different platforms that are out there. This is like early, or mid 2000s. It got released in 2009. And it's it's kind of a documentary style. But it's not a documentary. So if you've seen Sidewalks of New York, which is an ED burns movie, the characters give interviews to the camera, and then intercut with those interviews, is the story is the narrative. And so this is the story of eight characters over a 24 hour period, and how their lives interconnect. And there's the raver who takes ecstasy all the time and the drug dealer, then there's a school teacher and the lawyer and the doctor. And like all of these intertwining storylines that connect into one eventful way warehouse party where they all get to meet and hang out and everything else that happens in the story. So yeah, that's what I did.

Nicoa Coach:

That's so cool. And I obviously didn't have enough time to go watch it.

Billy Samoa:

It's on YouTube. You can Yeah, you can, it's on streaming. Now Netflix discontinued their DVD program, you can get it on DVD, but now it is on YouTube. So you just you know, for 99 cents. Sorry, they don't give me a code. But that's awesome.

Nicoa Coach:

I'll put it in the show notes. For sure. For everybody to check it out. Awesome. I think that's fascinating. And how fun for you to have that experience. I have some family friends who are in the midst of small films and and they're trying to get it out there and putting it on to all the different festivals and, and I know how big of a deal that is. So that's why it's so much work.

Billy Samoa:

But you know what? It is? So some of my best friends ever came from that movie. I'm this weekend, I'm going to Big Sur with a few people that are involved. The movie, including one of the lead actors in our friend group is like there's 30 of us going it's all it's all I mean, there's been weddings because of the movie there's been babies because of the movie. I mean, like had the movie not happened. It wouldn't have connected all these people. So the creative process is not always just about like the film was successful, like millions of people saw it got released financially. No, it wasn't you know, I didn't like become a millionaire because of the show because of the movie. But I became a millionaire in my heart because of the relationships that I built because of that movie. Yeah, yeah,

Nicoa Coach:

that's there's value and all and there's different layers of value in the connection and and I just thought I mean to be such a beautiful thing we can keep remembering what was the value of this? Even if it didn't pan out? Like you might have been attached to things? What did you gain from this? Yeah? Well, how the world did you jump from filmmaking? What the hell? Oh, yeah, I'm gonna go work for Solar City and Tesla. And yeah, what that tells me,

Billy Samoa:

You know, when you start a family, you start looking at opportunities. And my brother member, my stepbrother. He was selling solar in the early early days to 2009. That's how early it was. And so, for solar, I mean, solar panels have been around, you know, for 60, or now probably 80 years. But really, it's only been since, like, 2010, that it's become a lot more common, a lot more present. So, right time, right place, he introduced me to a company he's working for, I was gonna, like, help him with a video. He's like, Hey, can you make a video? Tell because he knew his video guy. So I was like, Okay, I'll help you make a video. And I'm like, tell me about this. He's like, Well, we put solar on the roof and doesn't cost them anything to do. We just charge them a monthly fee, just like they pay their electric bill anyway. And it's less than what they pay their electric bill. I'm like, why wouldn't anyone do it? He's like, I don't know. So fast forward, I got started. I set the record for most sales, like you should manage a team. I set the record for most sales for a team that like, Okay, you need to train the whole company. So take over training, like I said, you need to just take over the entire sales teams, became the VP of sales. And then Solar City said, We want you to come work for us. They're the biggest solar company in the country. I said, Okay, so I worked for them. They're owned by Elon Musk's cousins, Elon buys Solar City. And Tesla then becomes my new home. And Tesla didn't have a training program for their new hires. So I built the onboarding program from scratch with my team. And that was basically the story.

Nicoa Coach:

Yeah, that's so cool. I mean, my background is in human resources. So I'm all about training and development and onboarding. And that's a great example of you know, you're in the right place at the right time, you get your, your personal needs met, and then something grows. So you're a part of that growth. That's pretty interesting history. And, you know, we all know Elon is making a big ass impact in this world. So wow, you get to say that you work with him? Was he the one who personally called you and said, Hey, we need

Billy Samoa:

he sent me a text. No, no. So yeah, I mean, my my boss reported up to him. So I was pretty close to the sun, as they say. And I mean, I'm fascinated by him, just like everybody, I think, you know, he's got his flaws and his faults, and some pretty big ones. But you look at the overall scope of contributions he's made to the world. And it's undeniable, the guy's the guy is gonna go down as one of the most impactful influential people that's ever walked to the face of this earth. And I, you're right, like, I get to say that I worked in one of his companies, and it is an honor. And just like, I got to meet so many amazing people making my movie, same thing. When you work for a company that's as bad as his company, like you get to meet with some really extraordinary people. So the life experience that I'm grateful for, for sure. Well,

Nicoa Coach:

it clearly influenced you as to how you wanted to approach your podcast, and you talk about sitting down with the planet's most remarkable business leaders to uncover what transformational insights that have driven their success. I mean, I love that summary and, and that your vision is to help visionaries and changemakers amplify their voice to make their mark on the world. At what point did you find this vision and this this interest? I mean, you get this phone call? Did you have a panic attack for about six weeks? I mean, what happened? You know, like, oh, podcast time, or you're like, you know, frozen in the corner.

Billy Samoa:

I wanted to get off my corporate surfboard for quite a while, because I felt there was something more. I just felt there was something more and I guess when you work at Tesla, it's hard to leave. It's a it's such an admission handcuffs.

Nicoa Coach:

Kinda Yeah,

Billy Samoa:

I mean, I made good money. It was very mission driven. It had a lot of things going for it. But when I got the opportunity to, I had a great package when I left, you know, like, my position was eliminated. And I was like, Okay, I could have found another position within the company. I could have got any number of jobs. To this day, I get phone calls and LinkedIn requests, hey, do you want to do this? But I just wanted to do my own thing. When I was in junior high, I was selling. I was selling lollipops, you know, for a profit. So I always had an entrepreneurial spirit, but I never got an opportunity to really do it. And so So then, you know, I did like asking questions, I was vastly curious about other people. So I started my own podcast. And then I was like, you know, I need help. So I built a team. And then I said, you know, other people probably need help. So build a bigger team. And that was the early stage of, of my current company, Pata phi. And we really do what so many people need help with, which is do all the stuff they don't want to do. We do the editing, we do the video, we do the the show notes, the publishing the distribution, and all the things that like, take time, but aren't that exciting. So we do all those things. So that host can do the thing they want to do, which is like what we're doing right here. Just this is the best part like the talking the getting to know people. That's

Nicoa Coach:

right. I mean, this is I told somebody, and I probably even told you, when we were doing our little get to know each other session, I was like, I just want to be the talent. Just show up, have the cool conversation and then push then for the next person. So yeah, you never know, at some point, I won't be so cheap. And I'll find a way to invest in myself a little bit more. But right now I've got the time. So when I do this, I think a lot about why I do it and why you did it. But I want to back you up. You said something like I had been wanting to get off that corporate surfboard for quite a while, or maybe a few years. How did you know you want it to what was the pool? What was the main point? Oh, that's

Billy Samoa:

a good question. Let me reflect on that. So if I could kind of just put myself back, I would say a few things. One, I did a lot of travel for work. So when you do that much travel, it's a double edged sword on one hand, it's it is super exciting, super enjoyable, I do look back very fondly flying up to Fremont, or to San Francisco, or to Vegas, to do some pretty cool things like solar city, there was a TV show that I created called Solar City TV. So I would go up and I'd work with the head of revenue. And he would he'd be like this. He's a very charismatic guy. I mean, the guy's insanely talented. He just built a billion dollar company after Solar City, multibillion dollar company. So at the time, though, he was the the frontman in the face of this show. So I enjoyed doing that. But also, I thought to myself, like, hey, what if I did this, outside of another company, and I did it for my own company. And so for me, I think the pool was, it was probably like, if I'm going to leave my mark, as much as I can leave my mark within the company, I think I could leave a bigger Mark outside of the company. So combination of travel, the commitment, and then just understanding that there are only so many hours in the day, right. And so if I'm really looking at calculating, where I'm spending my time, am I going to spend my time building somebody else's dream or going to spend my time building my own dream. So that's, that's,

Nicoa Coach:

that's good. That's an important takeaway. I can recall before I quit the corporate world, having a conversation with one of my CEOs that I was his VP of HR. And I remember saying to him, and this was the thought to quit, but I still went and did this one more time for a few years before I ultimately quit. But I was talking to him and I said, Oh, you know, this big, this big merger, you know, what are you going to do? Like, what are you going to do? Like, where are you going to go? Like, are you impacted? Like, what are you going to do? And he looked at me kind of looked down at me because he was super tall as most leaders are, it seems like I was wearing my heels as best I could to meet that eye contact. And he looked down and he said, I don't know. And he turned and walked away. And I remember thinking, shit, you know what? Why the hell? Am I trying to jump on his coattails? And why am I not just wearing my own damn coat? Why am I asking him what he's doing. So I think it's really important for people listening to say, start noticing where you have the pool. And if you're deferring to other people around you for what happens next, then you're not running your own your own show here. So I love that you began to question it and look at it and say, I like this, how can I keep doing this? And why wouldn't I do it for just me? So beautiful.

Billy Samoa:

Yeah, taking time to reflect and to think and I think sometimes we get so consumed with the doing and the been and the all the things that make up all of the demands of our lives, whether that be professionally or fam, with family, or socially. We're constantly in go mode that we don't take hit the pause button right and the pause button and you know, go for a walk or just meditate or think or do something that's going to allow your mind to rest our prefrontal cortex is, is the critical part of our brain that's like the CEO, right. It's making all the decisions and doing all the strategic planning. It's overworked. It's overworked. Yeah. This guy that came speaking at Tesla, his name's David Rock, he said, you might have read this in one of my posts, but it's like, he said that the prefrontal cortex is like a coin in your pocket. The rest of your brain is like the entire US economy. Yet that coin in your pocket is responsible for so much. And so the reason why you have an insight when you're taking a shower or going on a walk on the treadmill, is because you're finally giving your brain that space, that it needs to come up with an idea or come up with something. And so I think often we just constant Go, go go and don't stop enough. Well,

Nicoa Coach:

you're right, and because when we don't stop, then that amygdala in the back of the brain starts driving an emotional reaction to the world. And you're no longer able to be conscious about what you're going to do with that coin and the prefrontal cortex. Me Yeah, you're like, Oh, I better save it, you know, totally freaked out, you know. So you're right to have an intentional set of practices for rest, relaxation, I probably get more clients when I'm on vacation, than I do. When I'm out, you said something that I really want to dive deeper into. And you like the word insight, your your podcast is called Inside Out? And I am curious, are there some key insights that you've had that you really like? Being that's what made me make the change? Or that's what makes me adjust my life by design?

Billy Samoa:

Mm hmm. Good question. So are there some key insights that helped me adjust my, my life by design? I'd say, for one, yes, there are. I mean, I think the biggest one is winners have options. And the guy that I was mentioning, he said to me over and over again, winners have options. So just remembering that I think we're often we have so much doubt in limiting beliefs and things that push us down to protect us. It's the what we call either the reptilian part of our brain or the ancient part of our brain that is trying to keep us out of harm. And it's got good retentions

Nicoa Coach:

horizon.

Billy Samoa:

Exactly like what's gonna get me what's gonna eat me. Right? The reality is, we're not in that environment anymore. That era has long since passed, yet our brain hasn't quite caught up or adjusted. So we have to do the things necessary to quiet the beast in our brain. That's another insight from one of the people I interviewed. She said, You got a beast in your brain? Who's telling you? You can't? You will? Why are you doing this? And it's, how do you either silent it or better yet, because you can't always silent it just be able to know when to turn the volume down. So for me, remembering that winners have options remembering to quiet the beast in the head. And then the third one I'll share is, remember this, like, we because winners have options, we always have the option to create what we do. And what I mean by that is, there's so much demand on our time. And if we said yes to everything, we're going to be so overloaded with things that aren't important. So I do believe yes, being able to take on new projects is important. But every time you say yes to one thing, what are you going to? What do you say no to? Right? And so having that awareness of your own time allotment is crucial. And so for me, as I'm designing my own life, I often reflect and think I do some accounting and look at where am I spending my time, and evaluate. So for me, I place a lot of emphasis on my my family, specifically, you know, my wife and my son, and I'm a coach. So I actually did some math and like, the amount of time I spent coaching is significant. But that's my life by design. I'm, I'm making a conscious choice to do this, because it's not going to be forever. He's 11 I'm only gonna be coaching one more year, and then he's gonna have other coaches. So for me, yeah, yeah, if I'm spending 3040 hours a week to some people may think that's crazy to coach. But for me, it's it's a choice that I'm making. So I am saying yes to that. So what am I then say no to and that's fine. I am going to say no to some things, but I have to, but the converse is true. When you do say no to things that allows you to say yes to other things. So it's prioritization of the things that are most important. You know,

Nicoa Coach:

it's based on your values and what matters most as to you know, I often go back to the questions, what do I want, how's what I'm doing getting me what I want, if I'm not getting what I want, am I willing to try a different way. So you have to know why you want what you want, in order to really determine if the time spent on it is valuable. And this is applicable, whether you're off doing your own thing as an entrepreneur, or even back when both of us were in the corporate world, you had to know that you were making a conscious choice to go into work for 14 hours a day, or travel the world for two weeks and not seeing your kid. And when you did that, you couldn't have it both ways. You can't resent it, and still get the perks and benefits of it. So I invite people to really listen carefully to your advice and to mine so that they can really make sure they're at choice. Yeah. Am I at choice right now?

Billy Samoa:

And I think, yeah, just just to add to that, I think the other thing to think about is if we, if we look at all the things we're doing, and we do an accounting of the things, the items that draw our attention, it's important to remember that do some analysis of what you absolutely have to do or what lights you up, or what's in your zone of genius, right, there's some things that you could just delete that you don't need to do. There's some things that you could delegate, and there's some things you can do. And I'm a big fan of deleting first, like remove the things you don't need to do, then the delegation piece, a lot of people resist this, because they want to do it all they they're controlling, and I'm the same way. You know, if it's not done by me, it's not done. Right. Right. And so it's like, let it go, let it go. There's somebody that could do it better than you in almost all cases? And if that's the absolutely, if that's the case, let that go so that you can then do the things that are most important to you that light you up the most. So just wanted to share that as a no, no, no,

Nicoa Coach:

that's absolutely correct. I remember when I started my business, I thought I hate accounting. And I first thing I did was hire an accountant. I'm like, you just do it, like to this day, and you talked about it was a long time ago. 2009. That was the year I quit the corporate world. So when you sound like man, that has been a long time. But I have I still don't really know what the hell's happened. And when my taxes and what she does, what she's like, you know, you paid yourself too much last year, I said, Okay, tell me what to do. I don't even know. No, I love that advice. And I think you're really spot on with regards to this constant self reflection, because you make this this phrase about how you want to leave your mark on this planet? And how do people leave their mark? Where did you learn that thought? And why? I mean, so what why do I have to leave a mark on the planet?

Billy Samoa:

Yeah, you know, I think I've learned it a few places. So Toby, one of the people, one of the leaders at Tesla talked about leaving an indelible mark, in a mark that that can't be taken away. So, you know, we do a lot while we're here, some of us more than others, what Mark will be remembered when you're gone. And in part of it is probably a little bit of ego and selfishness that you you kind of want something that you're creating, to be here when you're gone so that you could be remembered or so that you can be thought of? And so yes, I think some of it comes down to your own. Just you the fact that you're here and you want your existence to matter. And so when Toby said Leave your indelible mark, it just it's made something the mark registered to me. Yeah, exactly. Right. And so if you're impacting other people, you can do that. But then, when I've interviewed some of the amazing people that I've interviewed, you know, Daniel Priestley and dent, you know, make your dent. And so if you check out his work, he's all about making a dent, which I think is derived originally from Steve Jobs, who said, what denture you're going to make on the world? And so when you think about how you approach the things that you do, you know, and everybody's different, some people want to just have your standard ordinary existence, and they're fine with, you know, clocking in and clocking out and watching their Netflix and doing the day to day and then that's fine. I'm not trying to boohoo that. Everybody should do them. Do what's right. Do you do you? Yeah. I just I wanted more. I wanted something bigger than what I even what I could imagine. Right. So I think we push down what we think is possible because it seems unattainable. And Bill Gates said, people under arrest, overestimate what they could do in a year. But they underestimate what they could do in 10 years. And I made a post recently, I think they underestimate both. I think people underestimate what they could do in a year and they underestimate what they could do in 10 years. We place way too many restrictions and barriers and boundaries on what's possible. And it's not nice. It's not needed. It's just protection. You're protecting yourself from failure, you're protecting yourself from getting out of your zone of genius. You're protecting yourself from feeling like you're inadequate, or you're incapable, when in reality is if you just gave yourself permission to do what you're meant to do, you could do extraordinary things. Absolutely.

Nicoa Coach:

I couldn't have said it better. I mean, you're spot on. I mean, at the end of the day, it's unlimited possibilities. And the only thing standing in your way is your resistance. And either you're in a state of allowance or resistance and resistance is oh, I'm not so sure. Or maybe I couldn't, or who do I think I am, or I'm not good enough. And that's resistance. And I invite people to find that path of least resistance, you know, and that's not a new phrase, and unlimited possibilities, not a new phrase. But if you can give yourself to the time to dream about it, you can do anything. And, you know, you're already living this big life after jumping out of the corporate world. What's possible for you like, what is your dream?

Billy Samoa:

You know, I've been thinking lately a lot about this. And I think for me, the thing that I think is the next evolution of what I do is a book, or probably a few, and more speaking, on stage. So I think those would be some things. I love doing events. I love being on stage, I did it all the time in corporate. Now my stage is the microphone. But I'd like to get out there now that COVID Hopefully, behind us, you know, we can do more interaction. I love being in person. I love seeing people meeting people. And so for me, that's, that's what is the next sort of thing that I'm working on. And then the other piece is, I want to get back into film, especially documentaries. So I love telling stories, I love bringing concepts, ideas and insights to light that maybe people have forgotten or don't often think about. So I'm making a lot more content that hopefully has more of a documentary vibe, more of a informational vibe, and really to elevate and highlight stories that make an impact or influence people and the work that they do, because I want to help business owners, I want to help people who want to do something significant with their life. I want to give them a guide roadmap and some some inspiration to do the things that they're destined to do.

Nicoa Coach:

You know, you're already doing that, right?

Billy Samoa:

No, thank you. I appreciate it. Thank you.

Nicoa Coach:

Hi, no, and once you know that you've got the capability and the confidence to step forward and do that for others. You're right, it does have a pool. That's more of a Okay, how many more people can I help and touch and influence? I think you've already made a significant mark on the world. And I am I'm going to fast forward you now that May I ask how old you are?

Billy Samoa:

I'm 46. Yes.

Nicoa Coach:

Oh, you're just a baby. 54 you're gonna have so much is gonna happen. Okay,

Billy Samoa:

okay, good. I like it. I'm excited about my 50s I feel like though, that'll be my best decade yet. And so, you know, bring it on. I'm excited about it. And 50 Here's the thing. Remember this, anybody listening right now are watching you, anybody that's living right now is basically the same age as you were on this spinning ball of rock in the in the universe. And humans have been here for a long time. And depending upon, you know, what your your your belief set is, you know, it could be 1000s 10s of 1000s, hundreds of 1000s. But a lot longer than the 80 year lifespan that exists for most humans are 100 year lifespan. So anybody that's 20 years apart, 40 you're basically the same age. So you and I were basically we weren't definitely basically the same age. You don't even get me by a full decade. So we're basically the same age. And it just, it's a perspective shift time is a it really is a something that we've kind of just, I feel like made up in a lot of ways we did. And so, so for me, yes, that we might be, you know, the young young people look at me, and they might say, Oh, this is old guy. And I understand that because I was once that young guy doing that. But I think the older you get, the more you realize that the difference in age is kind of irrelevant. It's not it's not a it's not a huge amount.

Nicoa Coach:

It's not and when you think, to those elder years, I love that you said you adjusted your 80 year lifespan to

Billy Samoa:

be more than 100 it might be by the time we

Nicoa Coach:

get there, you know, so I was telling my husband, I have a husband that had I just got this husband a couple years back so Okay, get marriage, and I said to him, What are we gonna do for the next 50 years and he's like, how old are you gonna be? I said Are you stuck with a dilemma? 100? So, when you're at nine, let's say, and you're sitting on the front porch and you're talking to your son's kid, your grandchild, what would you like to tell them about this big life? You've had?

Billy Samoa:

Mm hmm. Well, my hope is that they feel a deep connection to me already in that, and because I want to be very actively involved with with not only my son who I am already, but with whoever he brings into the world, I want to be actively involved. So I think, what are the types of things that I would tell them at that point in my life would be, it would be first and foremost asking them questions, and understanding them. Because they, as much as I would want to tell them things. I think it starts with understanding starts with knowing them. You know, when you know, I remember my grandparents very, very well. And, you know, one thing that distinctly, I distinctly think about is them being surprised at how expensive everything was. And so it's like, but now that I've gone through, like, just especially in the last recent years, like, gosh, this has gotten expensive. Gas has gotten its coffee. Fast, it's been expensive. And I'm like, it does put in perspective, right, what what, what that experience was like, but for me, it's like, I want to understand them. And I want to know what they value. And from there, I do hope that I could share some stories in perspective with them, that will help them appreciate what they've been given because a spirit of gratitude. And a spirit of gratefulness, I think is a huge catalyst for having that abundant mindset that you've you've alluded to, and some of the things that you've said, when we have an open mind. And we have an abundant type mindset. I believe we welcome more things into our life, and call it woowoo. Call it the secret, I do believe in the power of a magnetic pole, you put something out into the inner universe, my wife always teases me, she's like, You always get a parking spot. I do. Because I know I'm gonna find it. And I just know that the parking spots gonna be close to where I want to go. And I find it. And she's always says I never find a parking spot. And I'm like, you're kind of reading she kind of bring that. And so I would, I would try to give them messages like that. Because I think at a young age, it's important to develop that because we probably inherently are fed the opposite messages, just because life can have its challenges. And there can be things that get in our way. But I think more often than not, if we allow ourselves to be receptive to the good things, those things will show up.

Nicoa Coach:

Absolutely. I mean, where the mind goes, energy flows, right? And you're talking about anticipating and expecting versus wanting and needing and wanting and needing is still kind of a catabolic resistance. So I want this, I need this, I have to have this, versus I allow this, I expect it, I anticipate it. And it's just it's even a lighter energy about it, just saying the words. And I'm glad you said that about the questions, I tend to ask that question to my clients in their intake form. Like when you're 89, what do you want to be able to tell your kids and your that's a good reminder, Billy, because I wish in retrospect, I've got three kids in my own three with my husband, so not with him, but as stepmom. And in retrospect, I wish I had asked more questions. Instead of solving the problem all the time. I mean, I can see my kids now looking at me in a fuss and turning to me, like, well, what are you gonna say, mom? And I remember the moment where I realized I had been solving their problems for them for way too long. And I remember asking them or saying to them, I'm sure the two of you can figure that out. What do you think you should do? And that was like an aha moment for me as a parent. So you're already on the right path asking your son more questions than telling I'm sure. But embodying and role modeling, this expansive way of living is going to be the best thing you ever do for any of us, not just your son, but just this, you you bring forth an energy of possibility and excitement and expansion. And it's different than the more more better better thinking like I have to do more to leave an impact that's worthy. You just being is an impact and it is worthy. It will be really awesome. That your way of being creates and has expanded outcomes and we can't wait to obviously see your next films and, and listen more on your podcast.

Jennifer Gardner:

We hope you're enjoying listening to this episode of Coffee with Nico Hour, make sure to subscribe so that you never miss an episode and follow Coffee with Nicoa on Instagram to find inspiring content that will help you begin creating your life by design.

Nicoa Coach:

Is there any more last minute pieces of advice or anything you'd like to share about people trying to wrap their arms around a life by design that they don't need a vacation from?

Billy Samoa:

Yeah, well, that's the I love the way you put that. One thing you said I want to underscore and I think it's important is this idea of modeling. Modeling is something that we often don't really take the time to recognize its incredible impact. And so I don't care whether it's a leader in corporate or if it's a parent, in the family, or or any other scenario, people are watching. And people are observing either consciously or subconsciously. And so if we model the behaviors, the actions, the decisions that we think are good ones to be modeled, people will emulate those, especially people who are impressionable or who are, are influenced by you because of who you are. And so remember that, and it can go both ways, like modeling the wrong behavior has a negative impact modeling the right behavior has a positive impact.

Nicoa Coach:

That's right. It's like energy attracts like, yeah, so you get to decide.

Billy Samoa:

Exactly, and I think I think so I think recognizing that is really important. The other thing that I think I tried to remember, and I can't remember if I brought this up or not, but I'll bring it up again, if I have brought it up for the first time. And that is simply assume positive intent. Ben, Ben Putterman was my boss at Tesla. And this value set is it's so it's positive leadership. When you assume positive intent, you're automatically removing any negative association that you might have made up entirely as to why a person X, Y, or Z is behaving or doing the things they're doing. Instead of it being I, they're, they're mad at me or they don't like me, or they're, you know, this is drags me, it may be they had a bad day, it may be that something's going on in their life that made them do or say or behave in a way, which could be negative could be bad, whatever, chalk it up as assume their positive intent. And it's something else. So I think that's a good way to, to walk through life. If we can walk through life, assuming positive intent, I think we're going to be a lot better off. And the last thing I'll share is, look, life is short, and every moment that we have matters. And so when we when we design our life by design, it's important that we check in with those around us and get the type of feedback that will make us better. But remember, people that are close to you may not be the people that are gonna give you the best advice, just because someone loves you. I learned this from David Meltzer. Just because someone loves you, doesn't mean they give you good advice. So the last piece of advice as I have is come up with a council or a league or a board of directors, both real and fictional. And what I mean when I say fictional, what I mean is maybe not fictional, but just say they're not people that you get to talk to, it could be people who are no longer with us. So your real board of directors are the people who you know, will give you honest feedback, and it will be likely good feedback, and have those people in your life and, and don't just take deposits, or take withdrawals, give deposits to help them do the things necessary to have a reciprocal relationship. So whether it's 357 people have those people in your life, and then have another group of people who you think, if you could imagine what advice this person would give, is it Richard Branson? Is it Steve Jobs? Is it Martin Luther King? Is it Gandhi? Is it whoever that may be in your life, and that's in those people. And this is a lot of this is taken from like, thinking Grow Rich, for example. When you look at ways to get that counsel, you're no longer on an island, and having to make all those decisions yourself. And so you'll be amazed at what can happen when you have both the real board of directors and the imaginary League of advisors who can influence your life and to help take it from where it is today. To where it is in the future.

Nicoa Coach:

That's right. You have we cannot do it alone and the pressure that you're that most People listening are typically under is that they're trying to figure it out all alone. And they and I love the imaginary counsel because I actually did some Silva method work. I don't know if you've ever heard of the Silva method back in back in the day and it's about visualization and you go to this like laboratory, and you imagine two people, anybody you want sitting there in that lab, giving you feedback, and I was busy fantasizing about Javier Bardem at the time, and he had some good advice for me. I don't mean to make light, but in this kind of fun, and if you actually lighten up, you might be able to create this council of cheerleaders and champions, as well. So they're not just giving you advice when you're feeling down or feeling insecure. They're also there to cheer you on and to champion you. And sometimes you just got to remind yourself that there are people out there spiritual or made up or real, who want to support you and champion you, and who are some of your biggest champions and influencers that you want to shout out to? Oh, thanks for asking them all, but

Billy Samoa:

can't do them all. So Martin Wiley is a guy who worked with incredible leader, he was somebody that I admired. When I first started, that was crushing it. And I ended up having the opportunity to bring him on my team. And so you know, he was on my team, but I consider him a mentor and an advisor. And he's so thoughtful. And the thing about him is he deeply listens. He asked a ton of questions. And he really tries to understand whatever situation is another guy very much like that, as a guy named Blake Maddix. Similar story brought him onto my team, but just bring so much knowledge and wisdom. And he's been down the path. And so somebody that I greatly admire and deeply respect and then on the imaginary are kind of like, people who I don't typically talk to. I'm a big fan of Richard Branson. Because he, he, yeah, he embodies the spirit of what I think the type of leader that I would like to be like to have a good time, likes to have fun, has unlimited thinking, you know, and I've read his book. Fascinating story. And I just think any

Nicoa Coach:

family man loves his mom loves his kids is great. I mean, I love the way he shows up. He's not embarrassed. He, he, he dances like nobody's watching. Yeah.

Billy Samoa:

Totally, yeah, he's, he's an absolute legend, and somebody that I deeply admire. And then another guy that I'm just Where's his book, it's gonna look for his book, but Alex or Mozi. So, Alex, or Mozi, is, to me really embodies what the new version of entrepreneurs and solopreneurs should should look to, both from a providing value standpoint, giving everything that he's got to whatever he does, you know, it's easy to hate on a guy like Alex for Mozi, because he's seen so much success in such a quick amount of time. But I can't hate on somebody that gives so much and so much value. And so for me, I often think, you know, reading his book and understanding the way he thinks about things, he's provided immense value to me. So he's somebody that like, as an imaginary guy that I think like what would Alex do in this situation?

Nicoa Coach:

Oh, I love that. I hope everybody's getting their parents and starting to write down there, their support team and their league. As you said, I thought I like that my league. Well, let me ask you a couple more questions before we wrap up. And one of them is I'd like you to share with us, how is your life by design today, serving you, like better than before? Like, what is unique about it? And how does that serve you now?

Billy Samoa:

So I live by my calendar. And I'm also super protective of my calendar. And what I mean by that is, I have certain days, and it depends on the season, some days, it's some weeks, it's three days where I literally block it out and no appointments. Some days, it's some weeks, it's one week. So right now I'm taking lots of new client calls and doing lots of onboarding. And so I I make Friday sacred, you know, do not typically do not schedule anything. There's obviously exceptions, but typically do not. And so for me, one thing is like being extremely protective of my calendar, I couldn't do that before, is much I still did it, but I couldn't do it as much as I can do it now. So that's one thing that serves me and allows me to be able to do the things that I want to do and when I want to do it. The other thing from a lifestyle, lifestyle and life by design standpoint is who I interact with. is completely intentional. And so I'll give everybody a little hack here. And I learned this from Jordan Harbinger. You have within your orbit, call it 1000 to 3000. People who you know by name, and they know you by name. And throughout your life, some people might be 500, some people might be 5000. But point being, let's call it that one to 3000. But you probably only talk to five to 10. And it goes down. As we get older, we talk to fewer and fewer people. I don't think you can intentionally avoid that from happening. By regularly checking in on your dormant or weak ties, how do you do that? Take your phone, scroll, go to your text messages and scroll all the way to the bottom. And you'll see like 2014 I did last time I talked to Joe. And then reach out to Joe, say, Joe, I've been thinking about you what's going on how you been? Now people are automatically maybe gonna have some people if they're not like a strong connection, they might have their wall up. So make sure you tell them you're you're not reaching out for any other reason than just to reconnect. You know, you're not trying to sell them Tupperware, get into network marketing meeting or whatever. Like you just want to chat. And guess what? The doors of opportunity that will come because you're reconnecting. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. You never know. It may not even be direct. And maybe Oh, you know, I was thinking about you or because you're top of mind. And you have to me like for me, I just happened recently for somebody I didn't talk to in years, all of a sudden referred me a podcast client. And we're gonna produce their podcast because I reached out to them and reconnected. And so that would be, you know, another thing that I use for my lifestyle by design, and life by design is like reconnecting and being hyper intentional with who I connect with. Well, I

Nicoa Coach:

can't you and I are right, we think exactly like, because if you will look right here in my notes, there it is. Ask him about the Jordan Harbinger, your text message practices. It's a really good one, it really stood out for me when you shared it in one of the podcasts. And I think that what I love most about you is your authenticity, your transparency, your ability to just keep it real. And and you do remember really well, where you got some of those, you know, little bites of wisdom. Last question for you, man. Because obviously you and I could talk forever, as I always say, because I love to talk. But I want to know what you're most proud of? And what do you want to celebrate about yourself? Before we wrap up our conversation today?

Billy Samoa:

Without question, it's the ability to connect with people that wouldn't, if I could make one thing that wouldn't change about me is the ability that I've learned from my dad, mostly, to be able to bring people into my life and develop deep, rich, and well beyond the surface level relationships. And so being able to laugh with people is such an important part, that they've done a lot of studies on happiness, and the number one thing that they always come back to is, most people who are happy have a very, very strong bond to other people there, they got lots of people in their life. And so for me, the thing that I am most proud of is that is, is you know, and I, you know, it can be developed, and I'm grateful that I had somebody that modeled for me, I got to observe it, and then I got to then create my own approach to building friends and, you know, making people in my, in my life feel and be in a way where they feel super connected and appreciated and all the things that you want out of a relationship, you know, heard and supported. And so, to me, like that's, that's it. So that would be that would be the number one thing and then the thing I'll leave the audience with, and I think this, I was thinking about this earlier, and I meant to bring it up. You know, one of the things that that I've battled with is perfectionism, and thinking, trying to make things perfect, and so a good framework that has helped me and it's something that I learned I interviewed my cousin Dan Gray, he got this from one of his previous bosses, I think or somebody that you worked with us I think in versions don't think your version one should be as good as a version 10 Be okay with version one having mistakes, flaws, errors, etc. Because guess what? You're going to find out all the reasons version one. And all the ways version one can be improved. So you can make a version to version two will be better than version one, version three, better than version two, and keep iterating. Don't settle. But don't expect that you're going to have version 10. If your version releasing version 10 is or version one, you've waited too long to release your version 10, your version one. And so thinking versions? No,

Nicoa Coach:

I love that I think you were you talk to somebody. And maybe I was listening to your cousin's interview because you said, if you're on Instagram, and you're looking at somebody in in or you're talking about Doom, scrolling, and scrolling, don't compare yourself to somebody who's been doing this who has 100,000 followers and you've got, you know, 500 followers, you just you're not there, you so come back to you your version one I love that and, and I want to go back and not skirt over your celebration of self because that is something worthy of celebrating your ability to connect and that you took what you saw from your father, and you created your own version of it. So that's the other thing no compare despair. Well, I'm not as good at connecting as my dad. No, you connect, Mike, Billy connects and, and it's clear you you're about to go celebrate with 30 Close friends over the weekend. I can't wait to hear about your trip. Sounds like it's gonna be phenomenal. And you know, people who are listening that don't have a lot of close friends right now get up and go to the meetup. Get up and go to a community center, get up and go to a church get up and go somewhere, just sit there you will attract someone if your intention is I'd like to be I'd like to have some more friends. Open that up. I like that I have more friends, I can't wait to meet them.

Billy Samoa:

You know, that's a great point. It's like kind of an atomic habit type of thing. Like you want to go run more, put your shoes by the door. If you want more friends, put yourself around more people. It's as simple as that. Like, you're gonna, somebody's gonna find you even if you're an introvert and I have so many introverted friends I'm not I'm an extra extrovert. But I can also kind of relate to being an introvert. Because even an extra extrovert like me, there's times where I don't feel as open to just be outgoing, right? I just don't like a little bit more of myself. So I can imagine what it feels like for somebody who is, by default, introverted. Put yourself in a position to where you can have a one on one conversation. And I know it may feel a little bit hard to be in that group setting. But like you said, go to that meetup, go to that church, go to that event, go to that networking meet whatever it may be, you never know where you might cross paths with somebody who could be a lifelong friends who could open a door to a lifelong group of friends. Because some people in my group of 30 friends, they themselves wouldn't have been outgoing enough to make 30 Friends, but because they made one friend, they got invited now they're part of this big group of friends. It's

Nicoa Coach:

just a beautiful thing. And yeah, I always remind people, what's meant for you will be provided to you through the universe, or whatever what's meant for you will come give yourself permission to receive it. And you certainly have opened your doors over the years of your life. And you've you've been attracting everything you've ever wanted. I bet I bet if I were to ask, you know, your deepest hearts desires have pretty much been met. And it's only getting better from here from what it sounds like MRP

Billy Samoa:

for saying that you're 100% I mean, here's the thing. I have a beautiful family, I've got an opportunity to continue to expand my impact on the world. I get to meet amazing people like you. That, to me is what life is about it is about the journey. Do I have bigger goals? Do I have a destination that i Yes, but you know, what the journey is? What is the most exciting part? So yes, that was I'm a happy guy. Like, I am a happy guy and I, I realized that there's some of its brain chemistry, some of its hard wiring. So I got I got good hardware. I'm not gonna deny that I got good hardware. But guess what? Software matters, too. So you know, it's it's a work in progress. I'm not saying I'm perfect. There's days where I, that beast in my head is saying, Well, you could do this better and you didn't do this. And you still got to do that. Take a breath, reflect, be grateful for what you have. And continue to do the things you can do to be your version two of yourself, compare yourself to yourself. Version Three will be better than version two, version seven will be better than version five. And so I'm grateful to you and thank you for doing the research. I'm truly grateful. When anyone takes the time to understand my backstory. It's humbling. I am it doesn't happen every time. There's times where people are like, do you even know who you're in? reviewing. But to me, I gave you a big, big hug from here just saying thank you for taking time to learn my story and to know about me. And that means a lot. So I'm really grateful. Oh, well,

Nicoa Coach:

you're welcome. You're welcome. And it's my honor and privilege to do this work and to meet people like you, like you said, it's just such a privilege and such an experience. It is all about the journey. And Billy, you're you've left your mark, and you and I are going to continue to help you and me we've our indelible marks on this planet by publishing this podcast. And I can't wait to see what both of us do next. And don't forget you got to start writing those books because I'll be I'll be sharing with everybody. I can't wait. Thank you very much for being my guest. And I'll talk to you later.

Billy Samoa:

Thank you. It's been a joy.

Jennifer Gardner:

Thanks for joining us for a caffeinated conversation. Subscribe to Coffee with Nicoa for more stories from people living a life by design. You can also find inspiration on Instagram. Just follow Coffee with Nicoa and check out our website Coffee with nicoa.com and that's Nicoa N i co a we look forward to talking with you soon. And enjoy your coffee between now and then