S1 Ep12: Frederic Schnur

Forget what the world says, I'm doing it my way!
Life By Design lessons from a global GEN Zer? You bet. This Coffee With Nicoa episode highlights Frederic Schnur's  viewpoint, mindset and real life tactical applications to create a life on his own terms. TAKE NOTE! What do you want? How is what you're doing getting you what you want? Are you truly WILLING to do what it takes to get you there? Oh, and don't forget to enjoy yourself along the way.

Frederic now works as a Real Estate Broker for Keller Williams. He always wants his client to be happy and will work as hard as he can to accomplish that goal.  Connect with Frederic on LINKEDIN or via the Keller Williams Hanover Realty Group website to contact him about your real estate needs OR Life By Design tips!

Buy your copy of YOUR LIFE BY DESIGN: A Coffee With Nicoa Self-Care Coaching Journal
on Amazon today! 

Transcript

Nicoa Coach: 0:01

Grab your coffee and join me Nicoa For a caffeinated conversation about life. I'll be talking to people who have chosen to walk their own paths and just like me, are creating a life by design. I hope that will give you the inspiration you need to do exactly the same. Frederick snore. You are here on the podcast with me.

Frederic Schnur: 0:29

I'm ready. I've been waiting for this.

Nicoa Coach: 0:31

Oh my gosh, I was so excited that you said yes.

Frederic Schnur: 0:35

Oh, absolutely. I got to take this opportunity.

Nicoa Coach: 0:38

Well, that is what's so unique about you. You are a man that does take opportunity and you are creating your life like nobody's business these days. And you are the ripe age of May I ask how old? Are you, dear sir?

Frederic Schnur: 0:54

Young age of 2121.

Nicoa Coach: 0:57

Oh, you're finally legal.

Frederic Schnur: 1:00

I turned 21. In January, I'm finally allowed to grab myself a beer at the bar.

Nicoa Coach: 1:05

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I forgot to say happy birthday.

Frederic Schnur: 1:09

And happy. Oh, I did. Oh, good. No, you're good.

Nicoa Coach: 1:14

Well, you know, I was busy celebrating my birthday that month, too. So I know. It makes sense. I might have forgotten. So yeah, you're a Gen Z are? Yes. Right. So let's talk about life by design, from the perspective of someone who was born in the Gen Z, you know, demographic? Yeah. And I'm a mother of three Gen Z years. So I have their perspective, born and raised in America. And now you are what I would refer to as a global Gen Z. Or why don't you tell us just a little summary of your history, which is short.

Frederic Schnur: 1:53

It's it's a little something some but no, it's a little more crazy than I would say the average. But no, it all started when my parents after they got married in Germany moved to Mexico, and decided to have my sister and I in Mexico. So I was born there in 2002, in Mexico City. And after two years, we moved to Berlin, Germany. And then from there after. I don't even know the number the years exactly. But I believe after two or three years, we moved to Frankfurt, Germany. And then we moved to Hamburg, Germany. And then we moved to New York for five years. That's where was my first time seeing the COA. Yeah. And it was always the Thanksgiving tradition to go to Nikolas house. And yeah, the turkey. And then after five years in New York, it was back to a different city around Hamburg in Germany. And then after that, we moved to Berlin again, or a little bit outside of Berlin. And that's where I finished high school. And then I decided I want to go back to the US and decided to come to Wilmington, North Carolina.

Nicoa Coach: 3:06

And that is such a cool story about how you got back here. So first of all, yeah, definitely global is moved a lot. It makes you more adaptable to your life, it's giving you probably a level of confidence that a lot of people who've never traveled the world would have. So I do think that's given you an edge on maybe a level of confidence. But I want you to talk a little bit about how, here's, here's what happened. I get a phone call or a text from some of our very close friends. Definitely. And they're like, Hey, do you have any insights on Frederick? Sure. And I'm like, How do you know Frederick? So what is our original connection? It's through my my first husband Mert. And his and your grandparents is that the Connect? That's

Frederic Schnur: 4:01

right. So the connection was your daughter's and just as grandmother, she lived in Tennessee, and like my parents who went to Mexico after they got married, my grandparents went to the to Tennessee when they got married for four years. And this lovely lady and my grandparents lived in these small apartments in Chattanooga, Tennessee. And just for some odd reason, kept their connection alive over all these years and then my dad was born then your previous husband got was born and they saw each other during one summer my dad flew to us, then my generation was born your daughter's me and my sister. We kind of connected and after finishing high school, I graduated right when the whole COVID started So I had all these plans of traveling through Europe and, you know, doing all these things, but it wouldn't work out. So then you kind of have to think about what do you want to do. And at that time, I looked into going to university in Europe. But for me, I was always, I finished on a good note in school, but I didn't where I really liked school, because it was always learning about something that I wasn't really passionate about. And the only positive I saw in going to university was connecting with people with the same interest. And when this whole COVID thing started, all my friends who did go to university just sat in their PJs on the couch on a zoom call, and then wrote an essay on their MacBook and then send that off. I'm like, I'm not gonna meet anyone through this. So this is something that's just not right. For me at the moment, I gotta do something else. And I have this long dream. Like, I literally have a flag hanging above my bed,

Nicoa Coach: 6:06

you do that over your shoulder is the flag.

Frederic Schnur: 6:11

It's been over my bed every day, no matter where I lived for after we moved back from New York, and it's just something that keep was that was in my head. That's my dream. That's what I want to do. I still to this day, don't know why. But I was very happy I had something to work towards. And from there on, I just said, Alright, university is not it, how do I get to the US, and then these conversations with my parents, and maybe you should do an internship or start working or this and that gain some experience. And so we send them out. And that doesn't really work because of COVID. And this and that, yeah. And then I had this idea, because a friend of mine did this au pair job. So like a nanny that lives with a household. And she did this in Paris, and she said, wherever you're gonna go, you're gonna have a fun time, because whoever's getting you there, they have a good amount of money, probably because it takes some money to fly someone out and live in your household. And, you know, as long as you can kind of manage kids, you'll be fine. And I said, Well, I really, you know, back then I was a 19 year old guy straight out of high school. Would I say I'm the best with children? No, not really. But I was very focused on my job. So I said, Alright, let's do this. And that found something in New York, and then that got cancelled because of COVID. And that's when I connected to all our friends and family in the US that we still had. And through your daughter's grandmother, she connected me with a family in Wilmington. And that's how I ended up

Nicoa Coach: 7:58

and they have been our friends for forever. For 15. Yeah, shears, we knew them in Raleigh, then they had a place here. And when we so we all moved down here when I heard when I got that message. I was like, You mean our friends, kid? So that turned out to be the most intense and exciting. And yeah, life lesson learning experience for you. We love Stephanie and Colleen and their beautiful babies. Tell us about your experience. What did you learn about yourself, making this life change, and not doing the traditional path of going off to college

Frederic Schnur: 8:35

now? Yeah, it was something that in and I always heard the saying it's living outside your comfort zone. And that's where you're going to have the most fun experiences and greatest lessons and this and that. And I mean, my life has been going out of my comfort zone, I build a comfort zone, and then it's back to ground zero. And it's not like we moved houses in the same city. It's you're in a different city. And you have to know how to walk to school again, you have to know you know, find the soccer or basketball team, whatever. And so this change to the US was more of you know, if I if I don't want to I can't work in Germany because of COVID. And I can't work in the US really, because it COVID I can't sit around that it drove me crazy. In high school, you think, wow, that I mean, what if I could just lay around all day, whenever I want sleep whenever I want play video games, it sounds like paradise on earth. But but once you do that, it becomes awful. I mean, it's horrendous, nothing to do nothing to work towards your brain. You go to bed and your brain hasn't done anything. So it starts thinking until 3am and you can't sleep so I knew I had to do something. And I wanted my dad Kate always In my room, and he drove us drew those big brainstorm maps. And these are all the directions you can go and this because you know, as parents, you want to push your child to move, you know, let's do sorry, you can't you can't be in your room all day. And your

Nicoa Coach: 10:14

dad, I mean, I really love him. He's an executive, and he does a lot of different types of he like, legit supply chain, yeah, supply chain logistics. So he himself was having an impact from COVID. But I love that you had the support of your parents to help you help yourself, figure out what you want it and that's a really not not everybody has that. But it sounds like he was demonstrating to you kind of this brainstorming or like ideation session where you go, what are all the options? So I love that tool. That's a great, it's kind of like vision boarding, what do I want? And how might I get there? So yeah, that's how you have to think

Frederic Schnur: 10:56

you have to start somewhere. Now, I mean, and it's, that's why I tell people that don't know what to do or don't don't know where to go is do something. Because once you're doing something, you're either gonna love what you're going to do, you're gonna like what you're gonna do, or you're going to hate it. And while you're doing it, all you're going to think about is where you want to go. And that's where your brain becomes really creative and comes up with all these ways of what to do. I mean, so after this little brainstorming session, it came down to college is not the way right now working as difficult. But I have this dream of going back to us, I've always wanted to after we moved back from New York, I just want to go there. I don't know what happened there. I love the people the way I was living there. It was just fun. So I had through these connections finally found this family in Wilmington, North Carolina. And I mean, I've been to Wilmington, but like as little as 10 year old and new city, new people. And I show up my show up. I mean, it was a couple, let's say 25 emails between me and the family to I think it was two or three FaceTime calls. That was it. And then I showed up, I mean, this complete stranger living in your household now. For the people that No, no, I'm also six, nine. So it's not like someone little showing up. It's a bit of a personality showing. And

Nicoa Coach: 12:24

these small children looking at who is this Manny? Right, you're me now.

Frederic Schnur: 12:29

That's right.

Nicoa Coach: 12:30

So yeah, how did you integrate into a world like that? I mean, what were some of the coping mechanisms that you use to really stay to, you know, stick to it?

Frederic Schnur: 12:42

Yeah, no, it was. For me, it was like a game of chess, because I always won. You, you have two ways of being an au pair. For me, it there's one way of going, Okay, I'm working from nine to six. But after six, I'm done. And I'm leaving the house and I'm going out to meet friends go party, whatever. And that's okay. I mean, that gets the job done. But with these children being very special, and sometimes needing more attention, I went more of the family route. I was there after 6pm, I sat on the couch with them, watch a TV show was spent the weekend with them. It was really important for me, for these children to recognize me as someone they can trust, because I knew if they can't trust me, it's gonna be hell on earth. And I won't be able to work so for the first six months, and I joke about it with the friends I have now. I wasn't out partying on the weekend, I rarely met with people I was the when I went out, I went to Nikolas house to have a glass of wine, decompress, and I went back on Monday morning. I mean, it was really, I was so focused about because I wanted it so bad. I knew if I can't make this work, it's back to Germany and trying to you know, go to university or find a job. And that's not what I wanted to do. I want it to be in the US. So I had this drive of keep going, keep going. And there are people joking around in the neighborhood, you know, making bets, how long will this guy last there? You know, we'll give him three, four weeks, two months. And that's fine thing about afterwards, but I had no choice. I was gonna make it work no matter what. And I just want that family once you show up. You want to have to get to know them. Of course, you know, it's a whole different household. It's not your house. It's not your rules that you grew up with. It's their rules. And you have to adapt to that.

Nicoa Coach: 14:42

Was there a surprise? Like was there anything you learned about yourself or that you surprised yourself with about your way of being

Frederic Schnur: 15:23

that I was very surprised by how fast I wanted to be a role model? I saw this A big opportunity, especially for the two younger boys that I could be there for them. And they struggle so much in school and this and that, if they have someone at the house that can kind of show them their ways, and not in a way that I tell them what to do, but they just watch me, they watch how I interact, how when I have a crisis, do I start screaming and banging on the doors? Or do I calmly try to figure out the situation? Right? And that's what surprised me fairly quickly is I wanted to be there for them and show them in a way, what are different options. And that was really surprising.

Nicoa Coach: 16:09

Frederick, you did a beautiful job of that, I think you really handled that, you know, shock of a new role and a new lifestyle with grace. And you did so as a role model, like you quickly embodied that and, and I want to talk about how that experience in your life choice has enabled you to get where you are today. So let's take this a good point to take a little break. And then we'll come back and hear all about how you have taken your life by design to the next level.

Unknown: 16:40

We hope you're enjoying listening to this episode of Coffee with Nicola, make sure to subscribe so that you never miss an episode and follow Coffee with Nicoa on Instagram to find inspiring content that will help you begin creating your life by design.

Nicoa Coach: 16:54

Okay, Frederick, we're back and you are in a life by design. And maybe before we jump into the role that you came to you, that you attracted, right, tell me what, you know, what do you define as a life by design? Like, how would you find that?

Frederic Schnur: 17:13

It's funny, because I talked to that about to my parents, and I feel like everyone has a different way of interpreting that motto of life by design. And for me, it's, it's, it's the first it's may sound cheesy, but it's designing your own life. It's not, it's not going the route that everyone else is going, it's designing the life that you want to live, and that you wake up to and say great, another day of having fog. I think that's what it comes down to is making life adding all the puzzles and pieces to it. So you are happy and you want to go and keep pushing and not waking up. And even though you might be making good money and this and that doing this something that you don't like and just, you know, black and white, just keep moving forward and moving forward moving forward.

Nicoa Coach: 18:04

Well, you said it, I mean, having fun. I mean, that's right, you know, being happy and having fun. I mean, it is your life to live. And what's really cool about your experience is that the way you attracted your current job is that you were having fun and making friends in the neighborhood. Right? Tell us right, play it out.

Frederic Schnur: 18:24

So yeah, then, you know, once I'm in that job, six months go by, and I planned on doing this opare job for a year. So then you start thinking, Okay, again, you finally took this big step out here. What's next, everyone's asking, you know, it's like after high school, everyone asked, What are you going to do? What are you going to do? You don't know, then you finally do something. And it's, then it's what are you going to do next, and you're like, Oh, my God, you know, stop. Let me live for a little bit. But it's true, you have to come up with something and I was back to ground zero, I didn't know what to do. Now I was in the US, I didn't have a family here. Now the family lived with is like family for me. So I was very happy about that and felt very safe. But I knew being an au pair is something that you can do a year, maybe two years, but it's not gonna get you anywhere, career wise. You know, it's a great life. But besides being a role model, you know, there's nothing to really, really get out of it, besides a really good connection to this family. So and I want it I'm very career orientated, where I want to be successful and I want to make something work and want to own a business down the line and this and that, but I don't know how. So I had this idea and I don't know how I came up with this. But since I didn't hang out with a lot of people my age, I hang out hang hung out with a lot of parents. Yeah. And, you know, I would go on, you know, go grab a coffee with a random mama the neighborhood, I would go on a walk with her, I would meet this heart surgeon and go kayaking with it. And so I thought, okay, I know all these people and all these people have a great life. They've all made it. They all live in nice house in this beautiful neighborhood. How did they do it? What are they doing right now and how did they get from high school to where they're at now? So I went to the heart surgeon I said, all right. I already know I'm not going to be a heart surgeon but But how did you get from high school to here and you know, you learn different things from it. Like, for me, it's just pure dedication. It's sitting down every day studying, studying, studying. It's just pure force of wanting, wanting it so bad because you know, the day you don't study, you're going back to steps. And then I went to a lady who does artwork, I can't do art. I can't, I can barely draw a stickman. But, you know, what can I learn from you? And it's like, okay, sure. How does she advertise? How does she sell? How does she market? You know, she told me, you know, nowadays, it's social media. If you want to sell something, you have to use social media. And I hate it. And I hate it too. But you have to. So

Nicoa Coach: 21:15

Z, Gen Z, social media was

Frederic Schnur: 21:20

a little different. So no. And then I met this lovely gentlemen of this family I spend a lot of my weekends with because they had a daughter, who was my age, and a younger daughter, who was 16 back then. And we just all got along very well. And it was kind of like my, also decompression family were on a weekend, instead of going out. I would just go over there have a beer kind of talk about life, and you know, that it's just like a safe place. Sure. And so I met them. Yeah. What's funny

Nicoa Coach: 21:56

about that is that I went to high school with him. So

Frederic Schnur: 21:59

everyone's connected. Everybody's connected. So yeah, he said, Do you know anything about real estate? And I said, No, no idea. I mean, zero, I have not none of my family members have done real estate and none of my family members, friends have done real estate. I have zero idea about it. And besides that, I don't know anything about taxes, mortgages, business entrepreneurship. I'm at zero, probably more like minus five. That's where I'm starting at. And he said, All right, Hi. How's it sound? You just come with me six hours, you know, while the kids are in school, and you just watch and listen? Shands? Yeah, that's right. And I went out with him. And it opened this world, because all of a sudden, we were looking at this lot of it was a vacant lot of land. And like, okay, trees and bushes and a little bit of sand, what do we do now, and the way they talked about it, and what you can do with that, and all the different things they were thinking about. And I found fascinating. And so then I went out a second time with them a third time, a fourth time. Fifth, I think after sixth time, I was like, You know what, I'm gonna get my license, this is something because it has that little edge where I can be my own little businessman, because in real estate, you probably are pretty much are your own business, you get to set your own time schedule, which is important for me, because I will work every day of the week. But I also know how to take care of myself. And if there's a Tuesday morning where I don't want to go to work, I will sleep in and I will say you know what I need to I need to go on a walk and I'll show up at 11 But I won't be there at 9am or 8am. So I found that very attractive. And then probably the most attractive part was meeting strangers working with strangers and building this network because that's what I've done my whole life is meeting people networking. And it feels very natural to me I love talking to strangers in the grocery store. Of course I get asked a lot how tall I am and then it's this sparks a conversation but I love that about it. So that's when I said alright, I'm gonna do my license and I got this big fat book in the mail of this is what you got to learn so while the kids were in school or in bed or early mornings, I would sit down and study study study then throughout the day do my job and then go back to studying and in when was it May of 2021 I passed my all my exams or my last exam and yeah, did it did it quick real quick Europe trip and then came back. So all right into real estate, no idea what I'm doing.

Nicoa Coach: 24:52

But you did it and I want to I want to highlight something that you just said first of all, let's just applaud that your your interest in other people caused you and your your ability to push aside any social anxiety any fear of these people thinking why is this 19 year old at the time asking me to walk and get a coffee? I mean, that's right. What but you already had created this, you know, trust in the neighborhood. They knew who you were. And so you reached out, you know, that's the one thing I would encourage other Jen's ears to do is you know what, pick up the phone or text somebody email somebody knock on their door. Yeah. Ask Ask, ask ask, you know, we sit around feeling a little victim to our circumstances sometimes. And we don't we don't ask the question. But you do. And we not only that, then you highlight it just now. It was something you knew you wanted. You knew you had to have something. And it felt right. You got excited about it. Oh, that feels good. Oh, I think I might like that. And then when they say that, pursuing your passion is like, people having an affair. And you're like, what? And I was like, What do you mean by that? I think I heard that in Elizabeth Gilbert's book, Big Magic. She's like, it's like having an affair. People who have an affair, they will do everything they can to meet up with the other person, right? Yeah, they'll sneak around. They'll do it after hours. And guess what, when you really are passionate about something and want something, you'll do what it takes, and you did what it took, even when you were tired. You worked after the kids went to bed, you got up early, you did it at lunch you did on the weekend. And you You also made it all happen at the exact time you needed it to happen. Because that other job was going away.

Frederic Schnur: 26:40

It was yeah, it was my decision to stop the I mean, I told myself, I'm doing a year. And I think at the end, it was 14 months,

Nicoa Coach: 26:49

oh, they would have kept you forever and ever. And

Frederic Schnur: 26:53

they still asked me to this day, and I truly appreciate that. But they are like family. So it's, it's always something I will try to keep alive and show up. And I still to this day, go there and babysit the kids and sit there on a Sunday and just talk about life. Because they also are these people that they did what they want it to do that I learned a lot from them, they have all these, you know, all these other boundaries or people's telling them what to do in this to do the one lady Colleen she grew up in a poor household and worked herself up paid for everything on her own to become a lawyer passed her exam own law firm now, and now because that wasn't enough, she has two restaurants, you know, and I just learned so much. And it was those late nights where with a glass of wine, you're sitting by the fireplace, and they just tell you, you know, you can do it, you have what it takes in you. And that fires me up. And those people are of course great to have around you and or they come as mentors.

Nicoa Coach: 28:01

Well, that's what you're saying, I think you you've utilized your relationships as mentorships. And I'm curious, you know, what do you think do you think you could have done whatever you wanted without an education in other parts of the world? Do you think that this culture gives you a different advantage or a disadvantage? How would you compare this to what you and I know you hadn't lived all over the world as an adult, but I'm just curious, your opinion.

Frederic Schnur: 28:31

So I can't compare it to Germany, because I have all my friends there that take do their routes. And I think Germany is very focused on their education, even more than us because the US, it's more of as an outsider, for me, it's a college experience, you know, everyone's going to college. This is where you have fun. You do a little bit of education. But if you're not going to MIT or whatever, the education, I don't know it to me, it seems not as important as the whole college experience. Compared to Berlin, the education definitely, or Berlin, Germany or whatever, Hamburg, the education plays a bigger role. But it's so rare to see someone not go to university there or not do something in the norm. That here is a lot more loose. Because you have people that will support you there, especially nowadays. There's whatever you're doing, someone is always already doing it somewhat similar. And here. I feel like with social media, so many people have started to just do what they love if it's working on a car or out doing hedges and recording themselves and posting it and yeah, through them just loving what they do. They gain this foliage and people start watching it and then they just, you know, open a car shop because that's what they have to do. And it somehow will work out if you love what you do. It's usually something that will work out or I want to believe that it does.

Nicoa Coach: 30:19

Oh, I think it does. I think I mean, follow your passion. Absolutely. And you know, hopefully those listening today will recognize that it's okay. to put yourself out there and do something completely different. So, before we wrap up, tell us now. And I remember last summer, you were looking for somewhere to live, and thinking about housing and man, I almost offered you the basement to come. And I thought, no, he has got to figure this out on his own. And I can come save the day and listen that moms and dads out there, and I'm, I consider myself you're one of your American Mama's over here. So no mom is your mom and I what's happening, you know, and then on each other, but I thought I could save the day, I can help him have somewhere to stay. And I thought no, he really needs to go through this. And which I think is a pretty typical American belief system. He's got to suffer a little bit to figure it out. But I don't know, you figured it

Frederic Schnur: 31:23

out. You did. I am really glad. Because might sound cheesy to pressure makes diamonds, you know, and I was struggling, I was in this beautiful house on the water this and that life couldn't be more perfect. And then it was all right. You're now you choose a route where your commission based job so you only make money once you sell something, you don't have a salary. Now you can do side jobs or house sitting walking dogs, you know, fixing people's phones. But that's all side stuff. So how do I make it work now, and on top of that, I always wanted no money from my parents to this day, I don't want any money, I want to do it all on my own. And of course, that hurts my mom, especially a lot because she wants to kind of help out her little son, little. But I always want because if I don't have the the pressure, I feel like I would slack off. If I have my rent paid every month, I feel like oh, now I have all this money leftover, Let's go party, let's go out to dinner every day, and I just don't have it. Now I do make a good amount of money through the job I have. But it's only whenever I do something. So it teaches you how to work with your money. And it teaches you how to go grocery shopping, it takes you, you know gas, this and that taxes. And it's that well, that's what I loved. And when I was looking for a house, you quickly realize rents crazy for a one bedroom. So that's not going to work. And then you go to plan B which is trying to find a roommate. And that's a hell of an experience. Because you can go on Facebook and you have a local college and people will rent out the room. But to be honest with you, if there's a picture of a room with a bed and red solo cups underneath the bed, that doesn't look attractive to me, you know, and then pay 800 bucks on top of that every month. No. I'm I'm such people say also, when I come home from work, I'm making dinner and I go to bed, that there's no party, there's no drinking. That's just who I am. I'm very dedicated to what I do. So I through a friend of mine, she sent me this guy over Facebook who's a he was or I live with him. Now he's a 29 year old surge. Okay, so this guy, he's almost like competition to me already. Because he works 90 hours a week, 12 hour shifts, and this guy, it's hard for him to have a social life. It's I mean, it's almost impossible. And he worked his butt off every single day, on Christmas on Chris on New Year's on his birthday, all day, every day. And that's what I was looking for. I needed someone that if I live with him, he takes care of his stuff, I take care of my stuff, it doesn't need to be my new best friend. It just needs to work. And it needs a place for me to come home to have my comfort zone. And go to bed too, and feel and wake up the next morning.

Nicoa Coach: 34:37

And you are just defining standards. You know, this exercise that I often will do with my clients is let's make a list of your standards. What is this lifestyle that you're trying to create? They might say I need a new job, I need to leave this company and I'm like, no, what is it you're trying to create from a way of living a way of being and then your decision making just like you explained your decision making aligns with those standards and that way of being so good for you. And of course you attracted that the right partner. He's also probably role modeling for you. Yeah, work that hard.

Frederic Schnur: 35:19

I want to learn from everyone on me I want to learn from what can I take from you and from him. It's just I mean, it's just pure like the heart search and it's that pure every day and mean no matter what, he was sick as a dog, and he woke up at 4am and drove to the hospital. Oh my gosh, I'm like, is that really good? He said, Well, they won't let me go. The only way they let me go if I if I literally can't work well, but

Nicoa Coach: 35:48

he's also showing you some polarity. So sometimes what we don't want, right, but to your point to each his own, and each person's life by design is theirs for the designing, and for the enjoyment. And if that floats his boat Good for him. There's no need for us to do a compare despair with anybody. You said something else that I hope that all the Gen Z are listening. There hadn't? Well, let me say I hope all the Millennials and Boomers are listening. Because someone said to me the other day, I think kids today, they're so distracted by social media. They're not self sufficient. They're not taking responsibility. And I said, you know, the Djinns ears in my world, take full responsibility. And you're one of them, Frederick, I mean, I admire you, I'm proud of you. You couldn't be doing this any better or worse. I mean, I just love you. You are taking response, ability and even Pippa the other day as your age, she said to me, Mom, I was walking around the village up in Raleigh, and I was thinking, Man, I want I want to get my nails done. I want to buy that out. But I want to have these things. So as she goes in, I didn't have enough money to do the things I wanted to do. And I said, I said, Yeah, I guess that was frustrating college kid. And she goes, so you know what I did. And I was like, what she was every store, I went in for the next two hours, I asked for an application for a job. And I walked away from that afternoon with two job offers. And I said, that's the way you do it, ladies and gentlemen, and you just said, if you're not getting consistency in your cash flow with the current job, go house it, go babysit, find a way to get what you want. If you don't want those things, you know, and it doesn't necessarily mean the money always has to come from hard work. Sometimes money does come, sometimes the gifts come sometimes someone says, Hey, let me treat you to dinner, you should receive that as well. And recognize that you're attracting that lifestyle. What is your lifestyle now reason

Frederic Schnur: 37:52

to my lifestyle now is I just came back from vacation. So I'm actually going back into my routine, I'm in that phase. So I am early riser, completely turned around my life from when I was 18 or 17, where I would wake up at feels like 1pm to now 630, you know, wake up, and pretty much roll out of bed, brush my teeth and go to the gym. And that is something that I forced myself to. I'm not gonna get super muscular, because my body will just I can eat like, there's no end. And but I realized, you know, I will not grow all these big muscles because I don't eat enough and I'm healthy and all this and that. But I've realized and it's important for people that go to the gym, there's a way you can achieve your goal, but you got to understand how you do it. And you can't go to the gym every day hoping that tomorrow you look in the mirror and there's a six pack opposite, you know, right so for me, the gym is just something to push myself hard towards and start the day off, right? Because, you know, you come home and it's whatever 738 eight in the morning and you already did something great. You already kind of in the way won the day and come home have a breakfast and it's straight to work. Now, throughout my job of course I have what I love about it every day is very different. It could be going to the office. And even in the office, every situation every deal in our team is always different. And it's always there's always you anticipate a problem coming up and then it comes up and then you try to find the solution. And that's why I learn if it's not an office day it's a you know, go to different houses do showing prepare a house for a show and do an open house. Find something there's also a period in my life where every morning I would walk ladies dogs before I even started my day I went to the gym then walk the ladies dogs and then got home got breakfast and then went to work so I already woke up went to the gym and made some money before I even showed up at work. That was nice.

Nicoa Coach: 40:20

Filling your standards of have this kind of routine for you sounds like it keeps you your mental health in shape as well. Yeah

Frederic Schnur: 40:30

That's where it comes. What I've learned is walks might be very European, but it was totally normal for high school kids to go on walks, especially during COVID. Because we didn't have anything else to do. So when I come home from work, and especially it was stressful. Go for a 1520 minute walk, don't touch your phone. And for me even don't listen to music, just let your brain think come decompress. What did I do, right? What did I do wrong? What can I do better tomorrow? Simple questions. And that helped me a lot. Because if I would think about that, during the day, those thoughts wouldn't come up when I would try to go to sleep. Because I would go on the walk, Have dinner and go to bed and I'm out. I'm gone. Yeah,

Nicoa Coach: 41:16

you know, those are some really great pearls of wisdom, my friends. I hope that we can share this conversation across the globe, so that people recognize that it's typically just a bit of a commitment to what you want, it comes back to you. You're the common denominator. And I think removing that oh my god, what am I supposed to be doing? And whose life is this? Anyway, it comes back to it's your life. And you've leveraged all your resources, your family, your friends, your new friends, you've made new friends, I love it. It's all about those relationships and those connections. And guess what's so is the Hanover Realty group's efforts. Right, Keller Williams, it's all about relationship. Why don't you give us just a little overview of the company you're working with. So we can send people your way if they're if they're interested in finding, finding their happy their house. Right? That's right. Tell us a little bit.

Frederic Schnur: 42:14

So we're I work in the Hanover Realty Group, which is a team that is underneath the umbrella umbrella of Keller Williams and Keller Williams, of course, huge brand, I think biggest even in the world. But it what makes our team different. It's, we we build a friendship with our client, and we spend an afternoon together a weekend, we go on the boat together and look at stuff and it's it's a little family taking care of you. That's what differentiates us from a group that might just be very good at their job and trying to do it. But for them, it's just another job for us. And especially for me, every transaction I have is I'm gonna give 110% And even when I can't do it, someone else in my team will try to, you know, help out and do this and that and we always you don't work with just me, if you work with me, you work with our group. So if I come up and say, you know, as exempt, let's offer to earn 1000. And I'll before I tell you that I will run that through my team, and some of my team might say, You know what, no, the floors, and they're not that well that well made, and it needs this and that, let's do 190 And that's just, it just feels so much better. I'm a team guy. I love being on my own. But I appreciate a team a lot. And I appreciate different opinions. And that's how we kind of work. And we've had I think the most successful month month of March. Me included this time actually I just sold one on North Topsail Beach. biggest sale yet. So now it really it's a little family that will take care of you. And yeah, give us a call if you ever have a question.

Nicoa Coach: 44:12

Well, I'll definitely put the information in the show notes about how to reach you for anyone local or hey, we're however far Keller Williams reached. We can refer people right and yeah, you know, you're I feel like you're a part of my family too. And I think that sounds like a perfect fit for you from a career perspective. I can't wait to see what unfolds for you in your lifetime. And why don't we do this? Fredrik? Why don't you promise me that in a year from now we'll touch base again and you can give an update in any lessons learned from the Jin Z world right?

Frederic Schnur: 44:44

I love to I actually that's kind of fun. I don't think I've told anyone but my as well on a big podcast. Yeah. I during that time after high school where I would stay up all night and didn't know what to do. I started doing once a year I do a voice memo into my phone, where I'm at it's two minutes. Where am I at now? What is my goal at the moment? Where do I want to go? And what is what am I struggling with? And just recently I listened to the one of 2020 and I was like, Dude, what are you worrying about? You know, it's like it's so funny. Because even this podcast now it might look like I'm doing everything great and this and that and everything's perfect. It is not absolutely it is not perfect. It's, but what I always tell people is, know your weaknesses and know what you're not good at. And just try to work on it and be confident that there are flaws. Nobody's perfect. It's always the CZ sayings. But it's true. And it's, you're not perfect, you have some flaws. And you can work around them and make them work, or you can try to take him and try to fix them to something, but there will always be something wrong. And there's always something you need to work on. And there's always something you want that you can't get. And there's always someone making more money. And there's always someone, you know,

Nicoa Coach: 46:07

compare. Yeah, they're just there.

Frederic Schnur: 46:10

That's right. Especially now there's everyone's comparing to social media. And it's like, if you see this person, you're so sad, because this person is traveling the world and everything's perfect. First of all, their life is not perfect. They also have struggles. And if you think that life is so great, do something about it. Go Travel, it's not that difficult. And don't get sad about it, you know, either take it as motivation, or put it to the side.

Nicoa Coach: 46:35

Exactly. You could not have summarized that better. And I am so grateful for you, Frederick. Let's say goodbye to everybody. Any any last comments you want to share? Before we wrap up?

Frederic Schnur: 46:49

Shout out to my mom and dad.

Nicoa Coach: 46:52

Mom and Dad, I'm taking care of your baby. Don't worry. Don't forget to say hey, to Maxine, your sister

Frederic Schnur: 46:57

Oh, yeah, she's she's also doing great. She's also been my secret little competition, because she's the a student that always, you know, all straight A's valedictorian. But she does it so different than me. And I think it's very exciting. But we've always been the most competitive. I mean, if I was good at soccer, she would say, All right, well, I can do gymnastics better, and mastics. And I could work on it. I love that

Nicoa Coach: 47:26

you guys did choose different paths. And you're going to role model for each other different ways of learning and being and it's interesting that you share that I'm going to actually have my big brother, I have two big brothers, but my oldest, he's going to be a guest on the podcast, and I can't wait to and he and I took totally different. Yeah. So that's what this podcast is all about lives by design. The Can you don't need a vacation from let me clarify. We take vacation, we take vacation. But every day, exactly. Everyday feels like a vacation in many ways, because it's on our own terms. And that's what you've done, Frederick and I thank you. And I love you. And I can't wait to reconnect with you in person. I'll talk to you again soon.

Frederic Schnur: 48:10

We'll have dinner soon. All right. Bye. Bye.

Unknown: 48:15

Thanks for joining us for a caffeinated conversation. Subscribe to Coffee with Nicoa for more stories from people living a life by design. You can also find inspiration on Instagram. Just follow Coffee with Nicoa and check out our website Coffee with nicoa.com and that's Nicoa N IC O A. We look forward to talking with you soon. And enjoy your coffee between now and then.