Espresso Shot 2: Don't Assume

In this Espresso Shot Nicoa talks about trying not to make an ass out of herself! 
Nicoa shares how she often makes assumptions in her relationship with her husband and how she's learning, reflecting, and asking herself if there's a better way to figure out what other people are thinking...without assuming.  Listen in to take away a set of communication tips and learn to recognize that whatever you're assuming about someone else, well, it's probably not what you think!

Transcript

ESPRESSO SHOT: Don't Assume
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Nicoa Coach
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Sometimes don't you just need a quick moment of inspiration. Or maybe you just need a moment of caffeinated contemplation to reflect on life. That's the idea behind my weekly coffee with Nikola espresso shots. I'll be sharing short jolts of inspiration in each clip. In addition to my longer Coffee with Nicoa interview episodes, make sure to subscribe so you never miss an espresso shot or a full length Coffee with Nicoa interview created just for you. Hey, everybody, this is Nicoa Coffee with Nicoa. This is your weekly espresso shot. You know what they say about assuming right? Don't assume you'll make an ass out of you and me. I have a challenge with this thing called assuming assumptions. I tend to do it all the time. And you know where I do it the most in my relationship with my husband, and I love him more than anything. And I guess he probably assumes a lot of crap about me too. But you know what really gets me a person like me, outspoken overachiever, talkative talks to think. Yep. Always analyzing, always reflecting. When my husband doesn't say anything, it almost drives me insane. When honestly, he's just reflecting and processing and thinking. And yet there I sit right next to him thinking, well, he didn't say anything after I shared that opinion. Or I wonder what he's thinking. He must get exhausted every time I've said, What are you thinking. But what I want everybody to pause and reflect on is that just because someone is silent, or quiet, or doesn't comment on whatever you are throwing down, does not mean they are judging you, they disagree with you, or that they have some sort of contradictory thought or opinion about you or what you just said. Far from it, at least in my situation, every time I've ever stayed as quiet as I could for as long as I could and then finally broke down and asked my husband, what are you thinking, he always surprises me with his response. Of course, sometimes I give him a hard time for all of my assumptions. But at the end of the day, my man is simply processing. And he's probably thinking of some way to support me. So when you go about your day and go about your life, either at home with your partner with your kids, or at work, when someone doesn't respond to an email, someone doesn't respond to a text, or someone doesn't say anything after you threw something down in a meeting or on a zoom call, do not assume, do not assume. And if it's really driving you crazy, and you really need to find out what that person thinks. Then simply ask them and ask them from a space of neutrality and curiosity. Hey, I shared some information in the meeting. You didn't say anything. I'm curious what your thoughts were. Your insecurities don't need to get in your way. And assuming is actually one of those things that can trip you up. So this week, I want you to ponder, am I assuming, am I worrying? am I assuming the worst? Or if there's something positive that could come out of this? Maybe I should simply ask. Maybe it's not what I think. All right, guys, have a fabulous week and don't forget to tune in coffee with Nicola coming to you on your favorite podcast platform. Make sure to subscribe so you never miss an espresso shot or a full length Coffee with Nicoa interview created just for you.

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SUMMARY KEYWORDS

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