S1 Ep. 1: Meet Nicoa

S1 Ep. 1: Meet Nicoa
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Show Notes Transcript

WELCOME TO COFFEE WITH NICOA - We did it, here is our inaugural episode! 
In this episode, Jennifer Gardner, principle of Rapport Marketing and one of Nicoa's executive coaching clients, interviews Nicoa about her Life by Design. In this engaging conversation, Nicoa shares how she left a  successful career as an executive in corporate America to forge her own path. Learn how her family reacted, and how she managed her own fear, uncertainty and doubt as she built her coaching business and a life she doesn't need a vacation from. Thanks for listening! 

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Nicoa Coach 0:01
Grab your coffee and join me Nicoa For a caffeinated conversation about life, I'll be talking to people who have chosen to walk their own path. And just like me, are creating a life by design. I hope it will give you the inspiration you need to do exactly the same. We're recording,

Jennifer Gardner 0:27
this is exciting

Nicoa Coach 0:28
episode one coffee with Nicoa.

Jennifer Gardner 0:31
I'm so happy to be here. I'm so let me introduce myself to the audience. I'm Jennifer Gardner, and I'm one of Nikolas coaching clients. And this is so fun to get to interview Nicoa and learn more about her. And so we're just turn the tables on her a little bit today.

Nicoa Coach 0:46
Oh, my gosh, I'm so excited. And I just want to take a minute, Jennifer, and thank you for doing this. We started coaching over a year ago, and we've had such a beautiful relationship I've seen you transform from someone who was ready for change to someone making change. And I just think we're kind of soul sisters. And it's meant to be that you're doing my interview for my very first episode. So thank you very much.

Jennifer Gardner 1:10
I think you're right, I think this is meant to be. So let's talk about who we want to listen into this podcast.

Nicoa Coach 1:17
You know, of course, I want everybody listening because I am compelled to run to the top of the mountain and share what I have learned over the last 15 plus years in my life of of learning as a coach and helping my clients help themselves. That's really what I like to say. But if I had to really hone in on who that ideal listener would be. It's the overwhelmed female who is over functioning, and on the edge of burning out if she hasn't already, someone who's ready to make a life change, but is absolutely paralyzed as to where to start. And maybe even someone who tried to make life changes and got too nervous and backed up and went back into the corporate world or tried to, you know, never move out of that hometown that they'd been in for 25 years, whatever their story is, I want to invite people into this conversation, to demonstrate and role model ways to make a life by design a life you don't need a vacation from.

Jennifer Gardner 2:20
I love that. I think we all want that and strive for that. And so why, why now why are you doing the podcast now?

Nicoa Coach 2:28
Well, for those of you who have known me for a while, I've been doing Coffee with Nicoa episodes for probably 15 years now. And they started out on, you know, Facebook, and whenever I had an idea I wanted to just pontificate about, I would pop on and i Good Good night. I mean, people were like, oh, Nikolas on everybody stopped what they're doing. My kids would get, okay. Anyway, my kids would be a little bit embarrassed because I was always trying to share my opinion about something or something I had experienced with one of them and my own life lessons. So that has evolved over the years, we move to Instagram, I do regular coffees with Nicoa. And I take topics not only of my own self reflection, but also topics that I have gleaned from working with my coaching clients. So for example, I worked with someone recently around their challenges around procrastination. And I will find myself waking up in the middle of the night thinking, Oh, I have an idea about another way that this client might be able to overcome this challenge. So I'll pop on an Instagram Live, and I'll start sharing so Coffee with Nicoa has been around a long time. And it was time to move away from those multiple social media channels, and really get to a platform that was more intentional, more formalized, and could reach a broader audience, but also so I could bring other people in an interview them so that we could share not only my stories, but the stories of my clients and the stories of others out there who have made lives by design, again, that they don't need a vacation from.

Jennifer Gardner 4:06
And it's so helpful to hear that other people are suffering from the same challenges that you you have, right so I can raise my hand to procrastination at times and hearing how other people are coping with those tendencies. And making those positive changes is really powerful.

Nicoa Coach 4:23
Well, I really feel like if we don't connect with each other and share our personal stories, we can't create a change or create an atmosphere in this world where it's safe to do something different. One of the reasons that I've I've actually done coffees with Nicoa over the years is because in my own journey, I woke up one day and I'm not even sure the day but I can tell you, there was a point where I realized I had been living rather intensely with blinders on. And when I'm talking about is I was living a life by design. That wasn't my own. And if you'd asked me at the time, I would have been adamant that it was my life. Of course, this is my life, this is exactly what I want, I want to get married, have children have this corporate career, and you know, make six figures and have two houses and cars and cats and dogs and, and live the American Dream for those of you who were raised in this culture, that's pretty clear, right? It people tell us what we're supposed to do. And there was a point where I recognize Wait a minute, the blinders began to come off. And I thought, Oh, you mean, there are other ways people live their lives, and I don't actually have to sacrifice and compromise and live like this intensely and burn out and work too much. To have a life I love, I can do something different and still make money, be happy, still have a mortgage, and still have multiple cars, whatever it is that I am dreaming about, and not burn myself out. So that's really what this is all about. And I want to talk to not only myself all day long, but I want to talk to other people, too, and bring those conversations to the public.

Jennifer Gardner 6:09
So let's talk a little bit about that career. So you were in human resources for 18 years, you were an executive. And it sounds like you had a an aha moment. Is there something that really triggered that? Or was it something that happened over time?

Nicoa Coach 6:23
So I got recruited into GE? Well, I let me rephrase that it wasn't a recruitment. I actually applied to the newspaper. This is how old I am. I mean, I'm a beautiful 54. But let me just say, back in the day, my mother mailed me the application ad or the advertisement out of the newspaper, and I applied without even thinking about it. And I got a big corporate communications job with GE, you know, GE, my grandmother was so proud. I mean, the General Electric Company, I mean, that's the epitome of the American corporate environment, right. So I was very excited and took the job. Well, I proceeded to grow within that organization. And I immediately bought into the fact that you have to continue to be promoted, to be enough and to be successful. And I remember once someone saying to me, when I was 30, I think I was 30 years old. And they said, Well, if you're not an executive band, by the time, you're 40, you're never going to be an executive. And I was 30. And I remember having this feeling of urgency like, well, I better hurry up, you know, I have to win. Like, I was always this overachiever, probably over functioning from you know, my own childhood of being from a divorced set of parents and being that latchkey kid and just trying to prove myself, and ultimately I did. And I went and worked for three different big corporate environments, I became the executive vice president, or worked with boards of directors and I had this fabulous job, I had a stay at home husband, and I had three kids 12 years of age and under, when one day I'm sitting in a meeting, and I quit my job in the middle of an economic downturn in 2009, with no plan, and a few mortgages and you know, some cars and a cat. I had zero plan. And I never felt more coherent in my life. When I walked out of my CEOs office, I thought that was clearly the right thing to do. Now, I'll share about seven weeks later, I had a massive panic attack, and thought, What have I done? No plan, I don't advise it. Part of the lesson learned for me is after that aha moment that I needed to leave that corporate experience I was having was that you can be a lot more intentional about your life. And I coach a lot of my clients about how to quit their job, and to do so very strategically and not so spontaneously.

Jennifer Gardner 8:57
I was to ask that, you know, was this a decision that you made, or it just happened in the moment it sounds like it happened kind of spur the moment it happens

Nicoa Coach 9:05
for the moment, I literally was having a conversation. And I remember listening to this voice in my head that said, hey, what you're talking about is not going to change the way you started this conversation. And the way it's ending is exactly the same spot. And when you walk out of this office, unless you make a change, nothing will be different than what you the way you want it to be. And you know, at the end of the day, it was time for me to make a change and my body and my soul just quit. I literally said the words and I had not planned to do it. I remember calling my husband right afterwards and saying, I just quit my job. And you know, he was so supportive. He said to me, Okay, now we're gonna have some fun. And I remember being so grateful that he supported my very risky, spontaneous decision. Now I say it was risky. I did have a bit of a buffer, I was an executive. And usually executives have executive contracts. So I did have some income for a short period of time after that. But I will tell you, when I did panic after that decision and had that fear, uncertainty and doubt, you thought I had zero money. And I was about to end up on the street as a bag lady, the way I, I felt, but I will promise you that in spite of that feeling, I did the work and held true to the fact that I did not want to reenter that corporate, same corporate experience, and that I wanted to do something different. And I'm here today, 14 years later out, never missed a mortgage payment. So it is possible to go out on your own and do something completely different.

Jennifer Gardner 10:47
That's great that your your ex husband was so supportive. What about the rest of your family? How did they react?

Nicoa Coach 10:53
Well, that's a lovely question. We had a dinner, our family, my children, 12 years old, was my oldest son and my daughters were at, let's see about eight and four. And we sat around the table, and we shared with them that Mommy had made a decision to quit her job. And I will tell you that my oldest said, are we going to be poor now? And I remember being shocked. And I thought, Oh, my God, because of course, out of the mouths of babes, your greatest fear, right? Or am I going to be poor now? Am I going to be able to do this? Am I going to be able to make enough money to provide for my family? And as the primary breadwinner? That was a fear a big fear course, of course. And so our initial response was absolutely not, no, of course not. Right. And we weren't, we had some savings we did have to tap into. But we ultimately continued. And I remember once I'll give you a side note story about it, I once was panicking about, is this going to work? And do I have enough clients? And what if we can't make the mortgage? And my husband looked at me? And I said, What am I going to do? What should I do? And he said, You get up and you go to work? And you just keep doing it every single day? And he was absolutely right. You just keep going. And you spend more time focusing your energy on what can be and what's possible, then the isness of Oh, are we gonna be able to pay that bill next month, focus on what is but in order to get you to what can be. So the energy has to be focused on what I'm creating, what the purpose is here, why I'm doing it, what feels right about this. And I promise you, the clients the opportunities, the jobs, they will come.

Jennifer Gardner 12:41
That's so interesting, because it is, you know, it's very relevant to my life right now. Right, one of these tech workers that recently got laid off, and I'm also a single parent. And so I'm the chief breadwinner. And I got the same kind of questions, especially from my younger daughter, like, she was really worried about, you know, are we going to be poor? No, where's the food going to come from, but we're making it work.

Nicoa Coach 13:08
You are making it work, and you're doing it with such grace. I'm very impressed with how you've managed your life as a single mom and with your beautiful children and all the ups and downs that have come with that responsibility and privilege. Right, right. But I will always ask this question. And what we're talking about is that our children are mirroring back to us, really our own fears, and they're testing us, I think we learn the most in relationship. And sometimes we think, Well, I don't want to be in a relationship, I'm tired, I can go do it by myself, but in relationship, and that means children, spouses, partners, friends, in relationship, we get tested energetically in about our own emotions. And when our children are we going to be poor, we have to dig deep. And we have to reassure them and reassure ourselves simultaneously. And it's a real test, can I go from reacting to such a fear, to responding, right, consciously aligned with what matters most to me. And in those moments, what mattered most to me and as I'm sure it has with you and your daughters, is to reassure them that we are competent, and capable. And the question I ask is, what is the likelihood of us being poor and not having food and living on the street? It's zero. I mean, we have friends resources, you know, support, you know, the likelihood is pretty damn low, if not zero.

Jennifer Gardner 14:28
Well, and my kids weren't around the first time I got laid off, right. So they don't know that this is something I have weathered before. True, and sometimes there are little bumps along the road. So we talked a little bit about, you know, some of the shocks and feelings you had around quitting your job. It sounds like you got some good support from your husband at the time. And the kids kind of got on board. How did your parents react?

Nicoa Coach 14:55
Interesting. My parents were quite supportive. My grandmother however, Her was upset that I left GE that first, that first change. So I had made some changes in the past, I left that big company went to another one, that was a risk, right? And I remember her being really upset about that. Because back in the day, it was 3040 year careers. My next door neighbor, retired from GE after 40 years. And I remember thinking, Am I making a mistake? Or am I really doing what I want to do? So it was the beginning of me learning life by design tactics. And I used to think, Oh, I'm just quitting something I don't like or I'm running away from something. But I really wasn't, I was listening to my intuition. And my intuition was actually saying to me, this is no longer serving you. This is no longer serving you. And you know, my parents have always been my biggest fans. And when I ultimately quit my job, it's interesting that you asked this question, because we also moved every couple of years over those 12 years, we'd probably move seven times. I mean, it was just part of the career progression, and you moved with the job. My parents actually ended up moving to Alaska, they'd never left the southeastern United States. And they moved to Alaska and lived there for six years. And a part of me always felt like I role modeled for them, that change is possible. And they weren't afraid. And they did it. And they had a fabulous time. And so part of me living a life by design that was somewhat by default, because of what I had been told I was supposed to do when I ultimately did make the big quit. I called it the big quit for a while, the big quit was just a natural progression of living a life that served me more.

Jennifer Gardner 16:48
Let's take a short break. And then we're going to come back and hear more about life by design and what that means to Nicoa. We hope you're enjoying listening to this episode of Coffee with Nicoa. Make sure to subscribe so that you never miss an episode and follow Coffee with Nicoa on Instagram to find inspiring content that will help you begin creating your life by design. Welcome back, we are going to learn a little bit about life by design and what that means to Nicoa.

Nicoa Coach 17:19
I'm glad that we're talking about this because I want everybody recognizing that they are living a story. Right? They're living a story that they may or may not have been the author of. They might think they are. But I've asked every one of my new coaching clients, what percentage of your life that you're living is your own? Or is it your mother's your father's your rabbi, your priest, your next door neighbors? You know, is it all the people you're watching on tick tock? Is it the marketing campaigns that you've been influenced by? And I would say we are largely largely influenced by all of those people in our lives. And if we're not careful, we will begin living a life that is expected and is a should. And I think I woke up at some point and realized, Wait, why am I doing this? I wish someone had asked me that question. When I was getting ready to go away to college or when I was trying out for cheerleading? Or why are you doing that? Like why? So a life by design to me is a conscious creation of a story that's aligned to your why it's aligned to your values, what matters most to you. And if you continue, continue to observe yourself and say, Why am I buying this car? What Why do I want this car versus that car? Why am I having children? You know, why am I working for someone else? Why am I wanting to work for myself? What is it that these choices are enabling for you? And then notice if what you're trying to create and receive is aligned to what matters most to you? I don't think people are asking themselves that question enough. And and I think a life by design is a story that you write.

Jennifer Gardner 19:07
Right? So you're looking forward saying this is what I want in my life. Yeah, just haphazardly collecting your story.

Nicoa Coach 19:14
Right? And you're not living a story because everybody else is doing the same thing. Right? You know. So, for example, is a life by design, something that you that makes you feel good, right is your life by design to me is all about the feeling. So for example, someone will come to me and say, Nicoa I've got to leave my job. And I'm like, Okay, why? Well, my boss is a jerk, and I hate it here and a misery. It's such a toxic environment. And it's such a favorite phrase, right? It's so toxic. And I'm like, Okay, well, is that why you want to leave your job? All those reasons? Yes. That's why I want to leave my job and say, Well, what is it that you want the next job to enable? Oh, well, I just need a job that's not here. So So I won't help you find that next job if you come to me, and that's all you say. So I'll say to them, okay, well, let's figure out two things. One is, what type of job would enable the lifestyle that you are hoping to create. And at the same time, let's figure out how you can change your perception of your current experience, to enable a foundation for you to launch to the next job. Now, people don't always understand why I want them to do that. But here's the risk, if you don't figure out in relationship right back in the relationship with your job with your boss, with your co workers in that toxic environment, if you can't figure out how to make that mean, something that will serve you and learn how to prevent the chaos in affecting you like you don't want that you don't want to be a victim to that, when you can figure that out, then you're in a much healthier space to determine does this job enable the lifestyle I want? Or do I need to now move on to something that will serve me better? I'd rather you move towards something, then run away from something. And that's really a life by design. It's creating a lifestyle that's enabled by the choices I make.

Jennifer Gardner 21:18
And it's about choice. It's not just about random things happening and experiences happening to you. So choosing what you want in your life and how you want to go forward.

Nicoa Coach 21:28
Yeah, I wish, I wonder if I can remember the phrase I thought the other day was, I wanted to move away from an unquestioned default lifestyle, to a conscious choice full life. Like I really want to be conscious about why I do what I do. And I can do you know, I love listening to people like Esther Hicks and the law of attraction, you can have be do anything you want. You have to recognize who you are in that process in order to attract that. And if you're not observing yourself and say, Wait, why do I care? Or why do I want to work here? Why do I want these things in my life? It doesn't matter what you want, you can you can wish for a million dollars, or you can wish for the simplest life ever living on a farm. But at the end of the day, it's your life. And it's your design. Probably the number one block for most people is their fear of what other people think of them. Yes, I think that's really well, what will they think if I quit my big corporate job? Well, what will they think if I leave my husband? Will What will they think if I you know, never leave the house and I only work from home. It doesn't matter because it's your life. It's your life by design. And you know, there's a very annoying element about that, right? It's either annoying or liberating. You're the common denominator, nobody's coming to help you. It's up to you, you got to go figure it out. You are the common denominator of your life by design. So what do you want? And how is what you're doing getting you what you want?

Jennifer Gardner 23:06
So as a coach, I know you have a some training and ontological and somatic coaching. How does that impact helping guide people to a life by design?

Nicoa Coach 23:18
Well, let's define both of those really quickly. So Ontological Coaching, I actually am certified through the Newfield network, based out of Colorado they've been around 25 plus years, Julio Alonso is the founder and kind of the Guru coach of of all for Newfield the model that I learned through that program about ontology is really means a way of being right a way of being and the way I coach around ontological ontologically is I focus in on what we call the bell model. So this is where Cymatics comes in. So the be in the bell model is the body and you actually are your biggest messaging system is your body you know, that's your your ability to listen to your body is a really powerful way to know if this is right, this is wrong. This feels good. This doesn't feel good, physically. So somatically we work with the body, we also work with emotions, and I like to define the emotions as energy in motion. So emotion, emotions are the messengers, right? If it feels bad, my body then what is the emotion or what is the meaning I'm giving it and then I also look at language. So we joked earlier we were talking about I should ABC and I joked I said don't shut all over yourself now. So should is Allah is a word that I would listen to in your dialogue with me. So Ontological Coaching is about a way of being and observing yourself and your body, the language you use and the emotions you're having, being the observer of all of that creates your ability to be liberated and empowered to be at choice. So the coaching work is to help you help yourself with those tools and those skills in order to create a life by design that feels 100% coherent in your body and your soul.

Jennifer Gardner 25:18
So I'm gonna guess that your coaching practice has probably changed you and how you go through life. So what is the biggest change in your way of being?

Nicoa Coach 25:26
You know, I'll give you a recent example. My daughter, and I was taking her back up to college, and she's a freshman this year, and I packed her up, put her in the car, we drove to Raleigh, and she said, Yep, I'm allowed to check in on this date. And we got to the dorm, and the doors were locked. And it was about an hour before I needed to be at an appointment. And we had the whole day planned out. And I was unpacking the car. And she comes back from her dorm and says, I can't get in. And I remember looking at her and I thought, so many things. First, I thought, I thought really? Did we not know that? Are we supposed to come? You told me you know, I was like my head was spinning. But I took a big deep breath. And I just stood with the stuff by the on the sidewalk. And I looked at her and I said, Well, what are our options. And she was visibly upset as well. And I think she was more visibly upset because she was afraid I would be upset. But to fast forward, I ended up helping her find a solution that did not get her into the dorm. Right? Then I packed the car back up. And I said, Well, here's what we're going to get do. I'm going to drop you off with your sister, you're going to put all your things in her car, and I'm going to my appointment. And you'll have to let me know if you need me later. Or maybe you and your sister can go in and when we were driving to her sister's house, I said in this is funny, but I said, Can we just take a minute? If we backed up like five years, how do you think I would have responded or reacted to that scenario in the past and she said, Oh, you would have been mad. Like, I just want to give myself a pat on the back because I took a deep breath. And I just it was what it was. And then I went into problem solving mode with her and, and I also held her accountable to the solution. I didn't pick it up. And that's probably the biggest change in my entire life is that I no longer carry everybody's responsibilities in my family and in my life. And even at my work, you know, I, you have your world and your experience, and I have mine. And I'm not going to let a lack of planning or a disruption or a fender bender, or spilled milk, cause me to be the victim and a martyr any longer. That's my biggest life lesson, I kind of go with the flow. Now.

Jennifer Gardner 28:06
I love that. And I know as a mother that can be very hard not to have the kind of reaction your daughter was afraid of.

Nicoa Coach  28:14
I've had quite a few in my lifetime. And I probably could have gotten an Oscar for some of those. And I'm a little ashamed and embarrassed by them. But I also value them because I had to have those experiences. And once I even remember yelling at my my son, and then talking to my own coach, and I highly recommend if you get a coach, they need to have their own coach because we're all learning together. And as rom das says we're all just walking ourselves a walk in each other home, right? And so my coach said to me, after this big explosion, I yelled at my child and and she said, there is value in all. And I said oh, like I was rude. I was kind of me and yellow pretty loudly. And she said, perhaps he needed that in that moment. And I was like maybe, but it over time, I've learned that there is value at all. And maybe that explosion with my child was the example I needed with my client the next week. And maybe my son needed to see a way of being through me that he did not want to apply when he becomes a parent. So value in all is an assumption that I live under now that I learned through my coaching work. And I think that's another big piece of a life by design as you have to understand what assumptions you're living under, and whether or not they are serving you. And value in all has served me quite well.

Jennifer Gardner 29:40
That's a tough one at times. So I have to say, you know, when I'm faced with a big challenge, seeing the value in something can be tough, but, you know, as I go through this layoff, it's kind of a gift to be home with my children.

Nicoa Coach 29:52
Absolutely. And you are the only one who can make anything mean anything. So you have this opportunity, even if it's on comfortable and you're disappointed. I'm not telling you not to emote around an experience, right? Just because something has value doesn't mean it's not also still upsetting and scary or overwhelming, but could be very exciting and joy filled, right? But we are the only ones who can make anything mean anything. So when something goes wrong, and it's disappointing and upsetting, the only way we find peace, satisfaction and happiness, and I happen to be trained as a certified happiness trainer through the happiness group. And in that learning, the only way like, let's say you call your girlfriend up to go, Oh, my God, I can't believe this happened and then it on you're drinking your wine and you just want to commiserate and then you hang up, that doesn't create happiness. We think it does. We think that commiserating creates some sort of, I'm going to feel better afterwards. But unless you take it one step further, and that step further is reflecting on. Okay, what am I going to do now? What can I do differently next time solutioning after you commiserate, nothing wrong with it. But then let's take it to that next level that creates happiness that creates satisfaction that creates peace, and also moves you forward. Yeah, absolutely.
Jennifer Gardner 31:15
It's growth mindset.
Nicoa Coach 31:17
Its growth mindset.

Jennifer Gardner 31:19
So that leads me to my next question. So, you know, I'm sure people are listening in and thinking, wow, I need to make a change. What piece of advice would you give them? How should they start?

Nicoa Coach 31:28
You start by dreaming about it, you and I talk about that daydreaming and visualizing and imagining and, and the best way to create a new reality is not only to see it in your mind's eye, and to talk about it, but to embody the emotion of it, of how that will feel like, anticipate it. So ultimately, though, you can't do it all at once. And that tends to be a big block for individuals. They, they look, I want to do this, but I don't know the Kherson house as Mike Dooley says, What are the Kherson house, you don't have to know? I want you to just do one thing, just one thing today towards creating that new reality. And that might mean you go and you Google properties for sale, you know, in the farm area of your neighborhood, like do I want to go have farmland? Do I want to live in this big high rise? You know, do I want to have a Mazel Rottie whatever it is you want? Google it. That's step one.

Jennifer Gardner 32:25
Well, in that, I'll share a little story of mine. When I was working with you, I was dreaming of a house farm actually, that I would build and design. And so now I am in contract to buy land with my partner. And it is our year of dream design plan. And it's really wonderful to see this dream come to life.

Nicoa Coach 32:48
Oh my gosh, that makes me so happy. And I have been celebrating every step of the way with you. I mean, you really did move from what I call kind of a over consumption of isness. Right? It was like, Oh, my God, look what's happening. Look what's happening. Look what's happening. And at the end of the day, setting that aside and giving yourself that space to say that is happening. And here's what will happen next, and I am pulling it in. I'm bringing it in and I trust, I trust myself, I trust the universe, I trust whoever I believe in whatever greater energy that's out there for me, whatever you want to believe in, sit in the knowing that that is possible. By the way, that's a lot more fun. And it's a lot more it is. I mean, here's the challenge that most people have is they spend a hell of a lot of time arguing for their limitations, and just telling me the Yes, buts. I've had a client before where we were in the third session of their coaching. And I finally said to them, I don't know about you, but I'm getting bored. Every time we talk, all you do is argue for what is not possible. And the assumptions we live in, in this coaching work is that everything is possible. And once you give yourself permission to receive what is possible and what you your deepest heart's desires are, once you move into that space, you'll feel a lightness that you haven't felt in a long time. It doesn't mean that those fears, uncertainties and doubts don't creep back in. But in that case, you can simply say, Hey, thank you for trying to keep me safe. Trust me, I'm going to try something different. And we always get back to the questions. What do I want? How's what I'm doing getting me what I want? And if I'm not getting what I want, am I willing to try a different way? And I added another question this year. And if you're not willing to try a different way, are you willing to accept where you are? And acceptance and willingness become your secret elements here? So willingness is really the key?
Jennifer Gardner 34:55
Well, I think this is a great place to stop and I can't wait till Learn more about designing my life and how to get from where I am today to where I'd like to be tomorrow. So thank you for sharing Nicoa

Nicoa Coach 35:08
It's my honor and privilege to be on this journey with not only you but everybody listening and all of my coaching clients. Life can be whatever you want it to be. It's your story. It's just time to write it the way it feels good to you. So please join us. We're going to have these conversations for a very long time. I'm not going anywhere. And if you know of anybody that you think has done a beautiful life by design endeavor, please send them our way because we'd love to have them on our podcast.

Thank you so much.

Nicoa Coach 35:41
Thank you.

Jennifer Gardner 35:45
Thanks for joining us for a caffeinated conversation. Subscribe to Coffee with Nicola for more stories from people living a life by design. You can also find inspiration on Instagram. Just follow Coffee with Nicoa and check out our website Coffee with and that's Nicoa N IC O A. We look forward to talking with you soon. And enjoy your coffee between now and then.


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